Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Saturday, June 19, 2004
Book Review: The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson (1990) I bought this book at a garage sale some time ago to sell on eBay. It didn't sell, so I read it. The hardback edition came out in 1990, 14 years ago. You want to feel old? Calvin would be in his early 20s today. No doubt he'd have given up Hobbes by now, unless he were a developer or a cartoonist and he kept Hobbes around to decorate his workspace. I like Calvin and Hobbes, the cartoon. I liked this collection. Calvin and Hobbes were pretty popular in their day (Watterson, the cartoonist, discontinued the strip in the 1990s). Actually, they became so culturally iconic that even today, ten years later, you can go into an auto parts store and by unlicensed and unofficial decals depicting Calvin urinating on an automotive logo of your choice (Ford seems rather popular). Have you noticed that the last of the iconic cartoons, Dilbert, stems from the 1980s. Remember the 1980s, when iconic cartoons abounded? You couldn't help but bump into The Far Side, Bloom County, Garfield, or Calvin and Hobbes apparel or pop-cultural references. Heck, even Cathy was touted as some zeitgeist for single women. Can you think of any cartoon created in the last decade that has captured that wide of an appeal? I couldn't. I guess it's the same thing television suffers; the fragmentation of the audience. Or perhaps it's the decline of the newspaper. Or maybe they just don't make them like they used to. So what about Calvin and Hobbes made it successful? I reckon the use of an imaginative six-year-old gave Watterson the opportunity to take on very adult themes and to make them simple. When cutting through the normal nuance and adult-thinking, Calvin could mutter a throw-away punchline that would clarify an issue the way no six hundred word editorial column or two hundred page political book could. Watterson also built in great latitude when he made Calvin an imaginitive six-year-old; his incarnations as Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Calvinosaurus keep the material fresh and interesting for the reader, and they probably kept the cartoon fresh for the artist. By all means, enjoy the book if you're a Calvin and Hobbes fan. If you've never read them, you damn kid, check it out. The material's not dated and will last a couple of decades. By 2060, though, it will be as accessible as Andy Capp or Snuffy Smith. Guest Blogger Introduction To keep up with all the cool blogs, I am going to have a guest blogger fill in for those days when I can't think of anything snarky-but-ultimately-forgettable to say. I mean, when I am too busy with a real life to blog. Ladies, well, okay, Heather and her mom, and gentlemen, which is to say El Guapo, Cagey, Darbo, and that one dude from BellSouth.net, here is your new guest blogger, Ajax: Click for super size Expect a lot of hard-hitting posts regarding the infrequency of Fancy Feast, the immaturity of those mean birds who tauntingly flit around outside the window but don't dare come in the house, and the inadequacies of the other cats. Saturday Morning Musings As it's the beginning of the first weekend of a vacation, and a warm, clear summer day, a young man's thoughts and stirrings within his heart naturally awaken his yearning to embrace his most sacred love: beer. Cripes, I am sleeping on the couch tonight for that intro, I know. So think upon these things, friends:
Lose/Lose Hey, everyone's a loser in this story:
Nixon said the two supermarket chains had agreed to stop the practice and pay $110,000 each in penalties to the state.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Where Was I? Who Was I? Via A Small Victory, we have this interesting little meandering down memory lane. Where where you when:
Based on a True Story I told my beautiful wife that The Terminal was based on a true story. Here's the Snopes account of Merhan Karimi Nasseri, resident of France's Charles de Gaulle airport. Marquette Doesn't Try to Panhandle From Me It's true, but I don't get pleas for money from the university from which I graduated. Why is that? Because I think stories like this represent the mindset of most universities, whose staffs only want development (more money) at the expense of tradition and respect?
Max and Jackie Kennedy had front row seats in Allen Fieldhouse from the day it opened in 1955. Jackie kept the tickets even after Max died last year. "The hardest thing I had to do was walk in that field house without him," she said. But the school told Jackie, 74, that if she doesn't donate $58,500, the seats will be sold to someone else. Kansas isn't entirely heartless. They offered her another set of seats. Near the top row. "But it's not like we're tossing her out of the place," said an associate athletic director, Jim Marchiony. Kennedy is outraged. "I'm not sitting anywhere else," she said. "I think it's blackmail. It's just unbelievable to me that this is happening." Of course, fans who have to sit in bad seats have a different take. "We have probably some of the worst seats in the house," said Janis Holiwell, of Topeka. "We've been making donations every year, and they're not small donations. ... I know they've sat there a long time. But we pay the same amount of money and we sit in very poor seats." Mizzou wouldn't treat such loyal fans so shabbily. Why, all Mizzou is charging is a one-time donation of $25,000 for up to eight seats and an annual donation of $5,000 a seat. Oh, you also have to buy a season ticket. That's about $816. Hockey Nugget Just say no Hasek:
Not that the NHL matters. Talking hockey is as meaningful as talking about the weather until the lockout ends, or St. Louis gets a WHA team. Whichever comes first. Thursday, June 17, 2004
Tis the Season for Polling I just spent fifteen minutes answering my first political telephone poll of the season. I explained that I didn't have any bad things to say about Jay Nixon, the Missouri Attorney General, but I would probably vote for the other guy anyway. When asked the best thing I could say about him, I said He's not Eliot Spitzer. Second nicest thing would have been He's not Peggy Lotsalager of Wisconsin. What, with that ringing endorsementand the realization that B. Holden is no Rod Bladjavovich or Jim Doyle, I've got a new slogan for the state of Missouri: Our elected officials don't suck as bad as yours. BraveNet World Funny, Frank Herbert, J.R.R. Tolkien, and R.A. Salvatore don't suffer from the literary persecution John Norman does. Here's section 8d of BraveNet's terms of service:
of any sort. This includes, but is not limited to, such things as nudity, any site, page, image or service requiring any adult verification service, anything that users to be 18 or older to view or join or access, and any text, image or likeness suggesting sexual and/or inappropriate and/or illegal acts of any sort. Without limiting the foregoing, you may not use the Products and Services to store, use, contain or display pornography, adult novelties, adult toys, XXX material, escort services, Gorean, bondage, BDSM, bigotry, racism, hatred, profanity, or any material which may be insulting to another person(s) or entity; Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Veteran's Day in June If you can have Christmas in July, you can damn sure have Veteran's Day in June. Since Cori Dauber has commented on the fact that many journalists do not know anyone in the military, I want to specifically thank those close to me who have served, including:
Gentlemen (and Mom), thank you. You've proven your commitment to this country in a way I have not, you have protected my freedom to be a chickenhawk today. Yeah, I am bragging about knowing them and bask in their reflected glory, but you would, too. Transitional Equivalence Hooray for this bit of moral equivalence:
The man, a naturalized citizen from Pakistan, was secretly taken into custody in April. He is being held at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Lower Manhattan and is said to be cooperating offering investigators significant information about Al Qaeda's plans. He is being held as a material witness and his family is now under federal protection. The man has told investigators that Al Qaeda is planning more attacks in the United States. He has also revealed a scheme to smuggle terrorists across the Mexican border. The suspect's assertions were part of the intelligence that led to recent warnings about a summer threat from Al Qaeda. Another man being held today is kidnapped American Paul Johnson. Rage, rage against the dying of the schnucking moral insight that would tell ABC News or its affiliate's writers that these things are not the same, and Paul Johnson is not another man being held in the same way as a material witness. Link seen on Hugh Hewitt, who doesn't comment on this blatant idiocy.) Meanwhile, Somewhere Else, Police Join Firefight and Firemen Watch Conflagration What should we make of this headline from CNN? Jenna Bush Agents Join Fistfight. Pic: (Click for full size.) Article text:
That's some damn deep, invasive bias that prevents a journalist from writing facts and where every single news story predigested interpretation. Just open up your maws, little cheepies, and mama CNN will regurgitate its truth down your gullet for your own good. Social Engineering Sampler
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Yea, Verily, Open Another Seal For Brian J. Noggle agrees with Eugene Kane of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, who saith:
I don't have any solutions to stop cruising, but there are plenty of answers for what to do about young people vandalizing homes, assaulting gas station employees and stealing merchandise. Arrest them and charge them accordingly. Because that kind of behavior is a crime; it's not cruising. Even though we all want to get more sleep and less nuisance, it's important to remember there's a difference. Of course, that's easy for me to say now because advocating changing this particular law is not yet a crime--although the concept is not inconceivable. Book Review: Double Play by Robert B. Parker (2004) My beautiful wife bought this book for me because she knows that I am a high acolyte of Parker. It's definitely a Parker book, even if the main character morphs into a Jesse Stone knock off. Set in the 1940s, it tells the story of a survivor from Guadalcanal who comes home to a wife who's left him and a life that's left him behind. He doesn't care about anyone or anything, which makes him a good enforcer for the mob and later, a bodyguard. He gets a new lease on life when he's hired to protect Jackie Robinson in his first season of play for the Brooklyn Dodgers. So you've got the standard elements of Parker: Tough guy former military/boxer. Love interest who's bad for him. Mob gunsels who adhere to The Code. Tough black guy with whom one can explore race relationships. The book blends elements of Love and Glory, the Jesse Stone novels, and Ray Chandler's Philip Marlowe novels (not so much Poodle Springs or Perchance to Dream). It's interesting to enjoy a little of the color of the 1940s, and it's a heck of a lot better than the last baseball-themed crime fiction story I read. As a matter of fact, I was rather enjoying it in the beginning, when the main character was becoming a throwback to the old school hard-boiled characters, but like I said, it veers too easily into regular, comfortable Parker territory at the end. Still, I shall buy the last of the three new Parker books this year and the three next year because Robert B. Parker and his Spenser novels raised me, and I am indentured to him. I accept the service, gladly. Other views: Boston Globe, whose link I found courtesy of Bullets and Beer. You Want a Metaphor? You Can't Handle a Metaphor! In her defense, the former commanding officer at Abu Ghraib says:
Mounting Evidence for Scott Peterson's Guilt In the trial yesterday, officers presented testimony to how they knew Scott Peterson was the one. According to ABCNews.com, the evidence is pretty conclusive:
Each tidbit is irrefutable, and when combined into a compelling narrative, we can see that Scott Peterson is guilty. Who needs evidence? Let's burn him! Monday, June 14, 2004
Book Review: Codgerspace by Alan Dean Foster (1992) This novel certainly doesn't represent the best of Alan Dean Foster's work, but it's an amusing book that hearkens back to the earlier days of science fiction, back when quick, short adventures in Del Ray editions shared a wild story. When an automated plant that produces AI components becomes accidentally interested in finding higher intelligence than man, it begins building its quest into toasters, lawn care equipment, and other common tools it provides. Meanwhile, on Earth, which has become a park retirement community for residents of the outer worlds, five codgers of the title find an ancient ship of vast proportions which proves that a higher power exists. But what kind of higher power, and what should the oldsters do now that they're in orbit with the armadas of the different human confederations showing up? Like the last Foster novel I read, this one represents a short story run long. That's part of the charm of this type of book, but unfortunately, Foster doesn't weave the disparate plotlines together well, and some portions of the book run on too long to make the necessary word count for a novel. I think Foster might have found himself bogged down in the writing of the novel; I can even see the point where he followed Raymond Chandler's advice and had a man walk through the door with a gun. Still, you have to admire a novel that combines a universe-altering cheese sandwich, writing advice from Raymond Chandler, and a hint at the Lovecraft mythos? The book was worth the price, $2.95 at Downtown Books in Milwaukee. Confession: Gentle readers, given the range and the depth of the titles published with the Alan Dean Foster, particularly his penchant for novelizing movies (hey, I liked Outland!), I had the subtle doubt creep into my mind that Alan Dean Foster might actually be a name owned by a publishing house under which numerous people wrote over the period of the last three decades. Apparently, that is not so. In-Utero-Americans I thought I had mocked this story already, but I have not. What's to mock? What's not to mock about it? A fetus is an American citizen simply for gestating in this country:
Senior U.S. District Judge Scott O. Wright ordered that Myrna Dick, 29, of Raymore, Mo., who is accused of falsely claiming American citizenship, be allowed to remain in the United States for now and told prosecutors and the defense to prepare for a possible trial. "Isn't that child an American citizen?" he asked, according to the Kansas City Star. "If this child is an American citizen, we can't send his mother back until he is born." Moorematician Truly, he has a dizzying intellect. Michael Moore's complaining about a possible R rating for his latest mockumentary. You know, no one under 17 admitted without a guardian.
"If they are old enough to be recruited and capable of being in combat and risking their lives, they certainly deserve the right to see what is going on in Iraq." More Good Will from September 11 Squandered International Red Cross bleats:
Kim du Toit Fails Test to Ascend to 9th Dan In a post, we see how Kim du Toit fails his test to attain the 9th Dan of Paranoia:
Doubt even this post, my students. Sunday, June 13, 2004
Galls as Big As Church Bells Ladies and gentlemen, our first-ever female recipient of the Galls as Big as Church Bells award goes to Suburban Blight's Kelley, who broke an arm while on vacation in Hawaii and flew home to Atlanta, Georgia, untreated because she did not want to miss her flight. She's more man than I am. I hope there was plenty of liquor available on those flights. |
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
"I will." Heather L. Igert, angelweave.mu.nu "Genuis." Neil Steinberg, Chicago Sun-Times "Some wanker." Kim du Toit, on the Noggle Library. "Brian J. Noggle apparently forgot that the proper design for a tin foil beanie calls for the shiny side out." Robb Allen, Sharp as a Marble. "I'm weeping openly right now. Thanks for hurting my feelings, pinhead." Bob Rybarcyzk, St. Louis Post-Dispatch Instapundit Protein Wisdom Ace of Spades HQ Wizbang! Outside the Beltway Robert B. Parker Dustbury Damn Interesting Michelle Malkin Radley Balko's The Agitator Exultate Justi Yippie-Ky-Yay! 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