Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
Just Like an Old Friend, Kick Him When He's Down Mark Steyn writes in the Chicago Sun-Times:
Really? John F. Kerry's bicycle cost $8,000. Why doesn't he sell his for democracy? If you throw in the designer French T-shirt and buttock-hugging lemon-hued lycra shorts, you'd probably be up around an even ten grand. When Howard Dean and John Kerry and John Edwards talk about "change," what they mean is you send these bazillionaire grandees the hundred-dollar bill and they'll keep the change. What did that co-ed cutie get for her hundred bucks? Presumably she sent it to Governor Dean because he was anti-war. He lost to Senator Kerry, who at that time was for-and-against the war, in the same way that he's for-and-against abortion and for-and-against gay marriage. But he seems to have come down, Iraq-wise, on the "for" side of the ledger. He'll be spending a little more time ineffectually chit-chatting with Kofi and Jacques and Gerhard, but other than that his Iraq policy is sounding more like Bush's every day. That college kid ponied up her $100 and isn't getting a lot of "change." I wonder if she's missing her bicycle this summer. How Did She Get So Lucky? The St. Louis Post-Dispatch humps the leg of a local entrepreneur:
The Blessing Basket Project grew out of a need that former television news producer Theresa Wilson had to lift women around the world out of poverty. Wilson, 36, originally wanted to work with poor women in the United States. But when she put her idea on an Internet bulletin board, she was deluged with e-mail from around the world from aid workers.
Of course, I'm not against capitalist imperialist dogism, but I do think that the Post-Dispatch likes to assail corporations who would do this, particularly those that use third world labor to do things formerly done by unionized US workers. I guess the difference is that software and automobiles aren't sold at Whole Foods Market. Friday, July 30, 2004
Oven Baked Just Tastes Better First, Subway eliminated its frequent customer reward program. Now, according to Michelle at A Small Victory, its European outlets are promoting the "documentary" Super Size Me. Crass. Very crass, Subway. Sorry, Pejman Over at Pejman's blog, he comments on a post by Virginia Postrel that describes the qualities of a successful presidential candidate. Pejman Yousefzadeh overlooks the fact that most Presidents have had easily-pronounced last names. Odd, when you think about how we come from a number of European and non-European backgrounds, that we've never had a -ski president or anything really beyond three syllables except for that one popular former general. Here's how the names stack up:
If you look to the last names of the last challengers, they fall to the two syllables or less category (even including the Libertarians and United We Stand guys). Okay, Badnarik is an exception, but he's so a footnote that he won't even be a trivia question. My point? I guess that I could write a paper on this, or that we don't elect Presidents whose names cannot be pronounced easily in most parts of the country. So add a fourth qualification, and Pejman doesn't qualify. Heck, I don't qualify (it's NAH-gul, not NO-gull. I am from up north, for crying out loud--is some nasalation of the oh sound too much to ask?) Lessons from The Last Samurai Heather and I just watched The Last Samurai, which many have taken at its face value as an anti-Western message. Well, if you want to look at it that way, take whatever lesson you want from it. I, on the other hand, prefer to take these messages away from it:
The Heart and Soul of America Not Found in Fox Transcription Department From the Fox News Transcript of Bush's remarks at SMS in Springfield, Missouri:
Because someone from Springfield (or someone married to a smoking-hottie from Springfield) knows Tracker Boats is based in Springfield. I'm Offended, I Want a Fine Hey, FCC, I am offended this got broadcast:
'No confetti. All right, go balloons, go balloons. We need more balloons. All balloons! All balloons! Keep going! Come on, guys, lets move it. Jesus! We need more balloons. I want all balloons to go, goddammit. Go confetti. Go confetti. More confetti. I want more balloons. What's happening to the balloons? We need more balloons. 'We need all of them coming down. Go balloons- balloons? What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down! All balloons, what the hell! There's nothing falling! What the are you guys doing up there? We want more balloons coming down, more balloons. More balloons. More balloons'... Book Review: Michael Moore is a Big Fat Stupid White Man by David T. Hardy and Jason Clarke (2004) I bought two copies of this book: one for a friend who needs intervention because he believes that Michael Moore has some good points, and one for me. Now that I have read the one for me, I'm almost sorry I bought one for him. Because it's not going to change his mind any more than reading blogs will. I'd hoped for a reasoned listing of the inaccuracies in the equivalent of a handy table, but although this book offers a couple of chapters with that sort of thing, for the most part, it's a blog in binding. Andrew Sullivan and Tim Blair have essays in the book, and the other chapters contain a high snark content that one finds in political tract books and on blogs. For example, the authors spend a chapter psychoanalyzing Michael Moore and examining how he meets the traditional definition of narcissist. As much ad homenim as enumeration of fallacies and inaccuracies, this book disappointed me; I'd hoped for more of the latter and less of the former. At least they successfully avoided the word "asshat." Perhaps I was hoping for too much from a book entitled Michael Moore is a Big Fat Stupid White Man. The Meatriarchy Guy Meets His Match The Meatriarchy Guy, the anti-vegetarian icon, has ponders his match: a six pound burger. Thursday, July 29, 2004
Brian Takes the Retrosexual Code Quiz Back at Jen Martinez's Collection of Thoughts, Jen describes The Retrosexual Code, a retaliation against metrosexualism and girliemanism. She's got quite the list, and I know my gentle readers want to know how I stack up. Well, here you go:
The whole quiz reminds me of my grandmother's wedding. Some years after my grandfather died, she married the her second husband and honored me by selecting me to participate as an usher. Wedding colors were black and pink, but I preferred to wear a white shirt instead. I was a college student paying my way through college by working a job that required white shirts; ergo, I had white shirts in abundance, but nary a pink shirt nor money to buy a nice pink shirt I wouldn't wear again, and let's be honest, I don't like pink. My step mother, God rest her soul and hurry about it, said, "Real men aren't afraid to wear pink." "Real men don't fall prey to manipulation about what 'real men' do," I replied, and I wore a white shirt. Probably with a thin black tie that I had which was a couple years out of fashion even in 1991. That's my response to anyone who would try to create an artificial code for what a real man would do. Real men know it without being guided by those who would manipulate them artificially. (Link seen on Michelle Malkin.) Good Night, Boy-John Okay, J. Eddie, we know what you mean you say:
This is why children should be seen and not heard. Now you go wash behind your ears, and make sure to dry them. You look a little damp there. This Land Is Our Land, This Land Is Our Land It has come to this: in Waukesha County, Wisconsin, Aurora Health Care wants to build a hospital, but some residents oppose it because a hospital won't generate as much taxes as a business park in the same spot:
"I want every possible dollar that land could give for our town; I don't think that it should be negotiated," said Mark Lathers, adding that he cannot negotiate his tax bill.
Meanwhile, some critics (and the parrots who report uncritically their assertions) explain how supply and demand works: More hospitals means higher costs!
In an age where cataclysmic attacks can yield thousands of casualties, I have nothing to offer to anti-competitive health care providers and those who love them, including residents who would rather have tax dollars for amenities like water parks or whatever the hell tchotchkes municipalities in Wisconsin waste taxdollars on than hospitals. Nothing but a hearty unwritten mandate and appropriate hand gestures. More to the Story? The Smoking Gun has the police report about the police pepperspray incident about which I wrote yesterday. As always, remember to be snarky with an open mind. Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Easy Distinction to Remember As Den Beste says:
For the Republicans, when you vote, "Do it... to the Europeans." More Fun With Nonlethal Force Meanwhile, back in Florida, an officer pepper sprays a college student and her boyfriend for taking a call in a movie theater. A witness recounts:
Lileks Embraces Noggle Apocalypse Investment Strategy James Lileks, in a Back Fence column, embraces the Noggle Apocalypse Investment Strategy when describing what's in his bug-out box:
"Halt! To pass you must pay the toll. What have you to offer, stranger?" "Well, I have, uh, a pelt -" "Where? I see no pelt." "Well, the dog's wearing it right now, but - hey, I have these little bottles of hooch. And I'll toss in some waterproof matches, only used once."
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Summing Up Wretchard at Belmont Club sums up the choice in worldviews offered this November:
Is Bush the perfect choice? No, of course not. But he's the better choice. Because I don't think that a return to Clinton-era is what we need, and that's the best for which we could hope with a Kerry presidency. The worst doesn't seem all that bad, either; a Congress which hogties the lame president, opposing his crazy domestic policies and "overseeing" feckless foreign policy. We would all enjoy a period of merry fiddling while Dark Ages II continues to cloud over, and most of us, or at least the important Baby Boomers, would be dead and lost to history before the Western books were burned and the Chinese ended Islam. The United States of America, the West? A footnote that might someday describe a failed experiment in human potential. Maybe They Can't Afford the FCC Fines Networks Pull Plug on Teresa [Heinz-Kerry]'s Speech. (Link seen on Roger L. Simon's and Little Green Footballs, in that order because that's the way the blogroll's ordered.) Maybe They Can't Afford the FCC Fines Networks Pull Plug on Teresa [Heinz-Kerry]'s Speech. (Link seen on Roger L. Simon's and Little Green Footballs, in that order because that's the way the blogroll's ordered.) So-Called Watch Author Roger L. Simon commits the sin:
Note to readers: In an attempt to sound less French, we're officially pronouncing it clitches. Not only does it sound more manly, but I don't have to look up the character code for the e with the accent on it. Thank you. Steinberg Gets It, Except When He Doesn't So Neil Steinberg, of the Chicago Sun-Times, is probably going to vote for John Kerry, but he sometimes indicates that he understands foreign policy:
We need to reach out to the Arab world, its argument goes, and make them understand what really good guys we are at heart. This is a spin on the old "What did we do wrong?/Maybe if we were nicer to them" view that surfaced immediately after Sept. 11, and is complete nonsense. Islamic radicals hate America because: a) we aren't Muslim; b) we support the country in their midst that isn't Muslim, Israel; c) we are purveyors of a non-Muslim, flashy, sexualized culture where women aren't dressed head to toe in black; and d) their governments encourage it. They hate us because of who we are, and nothing short of an embrace of Wahhabism would make them happy (and even then it might be the wrong kind. Iran and Iraq, remember, lost a million soldiers fighting each other). Digging wells and sending fruitcakes labeled "GIFT OF USA" is not going to do it. The United States gives more foreign aid to Egypt than any other country except Israel. And a recent poll found that 98 percent of Egyptians disapprove of the United States. The other 2 percent, presumably, haven't heard of us. No goodwill gesture, no slick Voice of America broadcast is going to change that. Rather than worry about radical Islam understanding our ideas, we need to master their central concept, which is this: Kill your enemies. Radical Islam understands killing and being killed. That's why, at the end of the day, taking out Saddam Hussein was a good thing, even with no weapons of mass destruction found, even if the place is in turmoil for a decade. It was worth it as a cautionary tale to future enemies, and on the odd chance the United States makes it past the November election without suffering a big Madrid-style terrorist attack, it won't be because we've charmed those who might feel inclined to do it. It'll be because we've either eliminated them or because we've so scared their state sponsors that they've stopped supporting them. Or it could be that he's got a depth and breadth of convictions too simple to describe in a single snarky paragraph. But hey, snark is what the chicks dig, and one never chortles when one writes a well-reasoned argument, but snark? Oh, yeah, chortlechortlechortle. Monday, July 26, 2004
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Scaping the Goat Here's a neat bit in the Washington Post: Taxes Cut, Not Saved: Assessments, Gas, Lost Profits Leave Some Gasping:
But after three tax cuts in three years, the part-owner of Loudoun County's Old Dominion Brewing Co. is not exactly celebrating his gains. Sure, his federal tax bill was trimmed, by a healthy $5,600, according to a rough calculation by Clint Stretch, director of tax policy at the accounting firm Deloitte & Touche LLP. But other factors having nothing to do with federal taxes have clouded Bailey's situation. This year, the property tax bill on his Bethesda home will reach $6,725, a $950 increase over his payment four years ago. The annual cost of his 56-mile-a-day commute has jumped more than $300 since 2001, and the long, slow decline of business profits these past four years has left Bailey far behind, no matter what his federal tax payment may be. "I'm not paying any taxes at all because we're not making any money," Bailey said with a sigh. "I loved paying taxes. It meant we were doing all right." As the Democrats converge on Boston this week to nominate their presidential candidate, the rhetoric around the economic policies of the past 42 months will doubtless be shrill. At first blush, the Democrats' case may seem like a hard sell. Economic growth has returned. Job growth, while slow, has perked up over the past 12 months. Most of all, Republicans may expect some gratitude for cutting taxes by more than $1.7 trillion over the next 10 years. But many Americans feel they have lost ground since 2001, and a solid 71 percent are convinced they have received no tax cuts at all. A poll by CBS News and the New York Times in March found that only 22 percent believe the policies of the Bush administration made their taxes go down; 25 percent said their taxes actually went up. Please, blow more money on Public Schooling which fails to edumicate the children on the three branches of government and the role of this little bicameral legislature thing, particularly the House of Representatives, on taxes so that the newspapers may continue to blame whomever they feel appropriate, or whomever they want to see lose an election. Book Review: Non Campus Mentis by Anders Henriksson (2001) This book represents another piece of Internet reading published in book form. The author, a professor, has collected and condensed numerous blue book blatherings from students into a one hundred plus summary of history. As a two page e-mail forward, these incidents are funny. A book-sized collection, though, goes on too long. The joke's going to be on us someday, though. The mirth comes from we, the reader, recognizing the students' errata, but the in twenty years, only the home schooled will be in on the humor. Of course, they'll be running the world, so books like this might still get published. News Flash! Hold the Front Page Below the fold, at least, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch offers this portrait of John Kerry: Vietnam etched Kerry's outlook: War record points to leadership and strength; critics question his recollections, motives and decision making. Let's sum up Kerry's Vietnam experience. In country for a couple of months, wounded three times and leaves. The dude is a walking, and unfortunately talking, shrapnel cushion, where Charlie put sharp edges to keep them safe. I mean, sometime in every episode, one of his crewmen would shout, "Oh my god, they've wounded Kerry!" Leadership? You're stepping in it. |
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
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