Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
 
Heh

Frank J. (no relation) says:
    Iraq now has a constitution. All they need now is strength, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma and they'll be ready to go.
Geek!

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:28 PM
 
A Whole New Level to Covet

So I used to go to Realtor.com to look for the million-dollar homes for sale in the St. Louis and Milwaukee areas, preferably with some land to go with them. However, Ravenwood has shown me I am a piker, for I had not until now thought about buying my own island.

If only I were an entrepreneur, founding my own company that would lead me to wealth through hard work and a bit of self-made luck.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:26 PM
 
I Am Impure

My Machiavellian foreign policy and grasp of reality have doomed me to only a 66 on the Libertarian Purity Test.

I recognize the difference between libertarian and anarchist, thanks.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:19 PM
 
These Cats Are So pwn3d

In a piece on Slate, the appropriately-named Jon Katz muses on the difference between calling people "pet owners" instead of "companion animal guardians." The cookie quote:
    My IDA packet contained a testimonial from a Michael Mountain of the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary. "People of other genders, races and even age groups were once treated as property in this country," Mountain wrote. "Now, it is time for 'people' of other species to be accorded the same simple dignity of being recognized, not as someone else's property but as beings in their own right."

    Mountain couldn't have made the point more dramatically—or offensively. I don't care to jump in with a moral value system that equates my beloved border collies with human slaves. Nothing about this comparison helps animals. It distorts their true natures and diminishes ours.
I will be "guardian" to the fourteen four cats that live here when they start paying the guardian rate. Freeloading entitles you to possession status. Keep that in mind, brother, if you ever find yourself down on your luck and needing a place to crash.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:05 AM
Sunday, March 07, 2004
 
A Lemay Accent at the Wrong Time

St. Louis denizens will tell you about the peculiar South St. Louis (County) accent that adds terminal Rs to non-terminal syllables, which turn wash into warsh and toilet into torlet.

So as I was in Lemay this morning, speaking with an aunt, she mentioned coming out of retirement to earn a few extra dollars. "But I don't want another orffice job," she said.

We in your family salute your decision, dear. Be forewarned we shall remind you of this decision into the unforeseeable future to make sure your commitment remains.

Thank you, that is all.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:48 PM
 
Quoteable

Government succors the stupid and suckers the rest.

I made that all up by myself.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:27 PM
 
Incoming Clue! Everybody Down!

Special message to Roger K. Miller, a newspaperman for many years and a freelance writer who penned this book review in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch for The Explainer, a collection from Slate.com. Mr. Miller, you finish your review with the following throw-away line:
  • Finally, the answer to one entry - "What Health Benefits Do Congressman Receive?" - raises another question that is, unfortunately, beyond the purview of the Explainer. Which is: Why don't the rest of us have that?

Here's your FREE CLUE!


The rest of us don't get job benefits for jobs we don't have. For instance, you don't get my salary, my health and dental plan, my free, confidential counseling, my 401k match, nor my opportunity to participate in the employee stock purchase plan (ESPP). Hey, you don't get invited to the Christmas party, either. You know why? Because you don't work there!

I get your ill-placed point, though. The government should provide all benefits to all people, regardless of their employment situation, personal ability, or drive to succeed. That's a nice story, Brody I notice you've stopped stuttering.

- posted by Brian J. @ 4:46 PM
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."