Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Saturday, April 23, 2005
A Fool and His IT Budget Firewall to zap XML viruses:
The 5-year-old company is one of several companies that make software or devices for securing applications that use XML to format data or XML-based communications protocols, called Web services.
But now they've expanded the service to include software that scans for XML Viruses, which are pretty common, hey?
But never mind that; spend the $40,000 and feel good about yourself.
But, hey, if corporations want it, let them have it. Meanwhile, I am hard at work here in the lab to protect corporations from insidious ASCII text file viruses. Did you know that your company uses hundreds or thousands of these potentially hazardous files every day and that they can be transmitted through e-mail attachments or automatically copied from the Internet or across networks. And unlike XML files, ASCII flat files, particularly those with file extensions of .java, .cpp, or .vb, can contain malicious code that can take control of your desktop when executed. Watch soon for the money-sucking Jeracor ASCII Virus Firewall, coming soon. Friday, April 22, 2005
My Office, the Cat Product Advertisement Photo Shoot Set Jeez, how can a man work with all this disruption? Click for full size I guess that's why I wasn't working when this photo was taken at 6:30 pm one night this week. Unpopular Canaries Ladies and gentlemen, watch what the authorities do to child molestors, because they will eventually take those same measures with other offenders.
Sure, Westchester County only wants sex offenders to wear a bracelet; but sex offenders can take those off. Countdown to mandatory microchipping has begun. The Other Creationism vs. Evolution O'Connor Dismisses Ado Over Int'l Law:
Any other evolution, a la reading the penumbras, emanations, and secret codes inherent in interpreting the rights derived from reading the third letter after every punctuation mark isn't constitutional evolution. It's judicial creationism. (Link seen on Althouse.) Thursday, April 21, 2005
Now That's Offshoring! 600 foreign software developers on a former cruise ship in international waters outside of Los Angeles. It's Sea Code. Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Safer T&A Through Security Cameras More women's bodies protected by security cameras:
Rossi allegedly spent a total of three hours manipulating six of the cameras. He ignored coworkers' warnings that he should not be using the cameras, saying "he did not care since he was not assigned to the substation he would not get in trouble,'' according to the charging documents. Relativism Ben Affleck demonstrates the relative worth of Jennifer Garner vs Jennifer Lopez:
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Implication: You Need a Shredder If You Recycle Here's a feel-good story with a happy ending:
But it wasn't a joke. While sorting paper, a worker at the recycling center spotted the check Monday and saved it from destruction. This message brought to you by someone too paranoid for a shredder. That's Not Junk Data When you're testing and you see a dog breed called Dogo Argentino, you might think that you're seeing junk data since the Spanish word for Dog is perro. But it's not; there really is a breed called Dogo Argentino. Probably junk data that became institutionalized through repetition. Another Right that Compels Someone Senator Barbara Boxer of California has found another right which compels someone to act according to another person's will:
Boxer's proposal would require all pharmacies to fill all prescriptions or refer customers to someone who will, despite pharmacists' religious or ethical objections to the nature of the prescription. Hey, Babbles, I got some other ideas for your brand of Federalism which is far too crashing, snorting, and bellowing to call "creeping Federalism":
Monday, April 18, 2005
Book Report: It by Stephen King (1986) I inherited this book from my aunt, whose legacy filled my to-read shelves with horror and mystery novels. I'm growing to enjoy Stephen King and Dean Koontz, so their presence in my library is welcome. Stephen King is an American master, truly, whose books will be read hundreds of years in the future assuming 1) people still read books, and 2) all American texts have not been burned. First of all, this book is a book without antecedent. Not precedent, but antecedent. When I tried talking about it with my beautiful wife during our evening rambles around the subdivisions in our neighborhood, she couldn't always understand what I was talking about when I referred to It. So I had to say Stephen King's It, like I was titling the miniseries and hoping the name Stephen King would draw viewers which the title alone would not. The book is not without its flaws. This comes from King's Epic period, which spawned The Stand and the beginning of the mercifully-split Dark Tower series. This book weighs in at over 1100 pages, and I hit the AKM (Anna Karenina Moment, wherein the reader realizes he's read enough to have completed one long novel and realizes that he's got the equivalent of one or more novels to go--and is tempted to read one or more complete novels instead). The quality of the writing doesn't suffer, really, but the quantity tends to overwhelm it. The book deals with seven youths who confront an eldritch, foetid horror in Derry, Maine, in 1958, and when the eldritch, foetid, other-worldly horror resurfaces in 1985, the middle-aged children of Derry return to confront it again without the imagination of youth to protect them from unreality. I survived the AKM and pressed on. King weaves a lot of detail into the setting, and even the minor characters take on three and sometimes three-and-a-half dimensions. Still, this adds bulk that wouldn't be afforded to a first-time novelist; agents and editors would bounce this proposal back from anyone but Stephen King. The main characters get their own sections and chapters and great detail. However, I'm not a first time King reader, so I was reading along trying to guess who wouldn't make it. Life, and King, are cruel that way; just when you get to liking someone, a monster rises from the depths and rips off his or her head. Still, somewhere after page five hundred pages, the pace picks up and rushes toward a hundred page climax and forty page dénouement. Overall, I'm pleased with the book and even have the strange desire to see the 1990 television movie equivalent which features Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown--that man has actorial chutzpah. Still, one has to wonder what Stephen King was thinking when he concocted the plot. Did he say to himself, what this book really needs to drive its theme home is group sex in the sewers among eleven and twelve year olds? Because I could have entirely left that little bit out without really corrupting the story. Mad Libs Feature Writing FanC a d8? Never fear, text messaging is here:
"It's such an easy way to break the ice," Holstack said. "Approaching girls in a bar can be so intimidating and this takes the approach part out of the equation. The worst reaction I could have gotten was her not replying and I'll take that over her laughing in my face any day." Holstack, it seems, is not alone. With more than 30 million registered (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) users sending more than 30 billion (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) each month, it's clear that romance seekers like (INSERT TECHNOLOGY USER) will not be without a date for long. More than 50,000 people are registered for (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) in Missouri, with 8,800 in the St. Louis area alone, suggesting that many people are beginning to realize that their (INSERT DEVICE) can also be the key to a successful dating life.
"It's such an easy way to break the ice," Holstack said. "Approaching girls in a bar can be so intimidating and this takes the approach part out of the equation. The worst reaction I could have gotten was her not replying and I'll take that over her laughing in my face any day." Holstack, it seems, is not alone. With more than 350 million registered government-mandated implantees sending more than 30 billion Bluetooth thought transmissions each month, it's clear that romance seekers like 19897267 will not be without a date for long. More than 350,000,000 people are registered for tracking in the United States, with 800 remaining residents in the St. Louis area alone, suggesting that many people are beginning to realize that their proper thoughts can also be the key to a successful dating life. Introducing PETBA Ladies and gentlemen, I want a new organization. I want People for Ethical Treatment By Animals. Because I don't think it's right that people are treated this way by animals:
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Bush's Plan To Turn Europeans into Biogenetic Mutants Thwarted US sent banned corn to Europe for four years:
That's why the United States, as a nation and a single entity, shipped genetically modified corn to Europe. Those who think it might have been a single company's error swallowed in the bureacracy are simplistic and lack the imagination for proper conspiracy-mongering. |
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
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