Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Make Mine a Double

Jed at Boots and Sabers helps me with my reluctance to fly.

Make mine a double.

Aaron Defends Arnold

Aaron of Free Will Blog defends Arnold Schwarzeneggar's RNC speech.

Remember my comments?

Of course you do. You're not the one who's been tippling on Dutch beer all evening.

Stop Semicolon Abuse!

Headline of the day: Sunset Hills man shoots; kills alleged burglar

As one of the last regular users of the precious semicolon, I must protest whenever someone uses it incorrectly. It's easier than protesting apostrophe abuse, and it doesn't make on as hoarse.

Book Review: Cancel All Our Vows by John D. McDonald (1953)

Well, I bought a used library paperback copy of this book from the St. Louis County Library as a discard, so I only paid a quarter for it. On the other hand, it is a used library copy of a paperback, so I am making no great investment in my personal collection. Still, I had not seen the book before, and I love John D. McDonald's Travis McGee books and most of his other books (if you're currently holed up in Florida, I heartily recommend you ride out the storm with Condominium).

This book precedes the heyday of John D. MacDonald's writing career. The earliest McGee novel hits the scene in 1964, and McGee will lament about the migration to Florida that takes place when air conditioners become prevalent. Cancel All Our Vows precedes that era; the main male character is an executive, and the storyline takes place in a heat wave from which the characters retreat.

Unlike most of MacDonald's other novels, this book is not crime fiction--a distinction blurred purposefully by the paperback publisher, who puts a gun on the cover even though one does not discharge anywhere in the book (what would Checkov say? Not, "Pardon me, we're looking for the nuclear wessels--that's another Checkov, you damn kids).

This book reminds me more of Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann. Both deal with attitudes about adultery and marriage, and both are set in the decade after World War II--although Cancel All Our Vows was written 13 years before Valley of the Dolls.

This book deals with said executive, having a midlife crisis (both he and his wife are getting old--they're in their thirties! Undertakers are standing by!). When he meets the wife of a man he's just hired, he starts thinking that cheating might be the answer to his emotional doldrums. He's got a good house, a good wife, good job, good kids, the good life, but he's missing something. Something illicit sex might provide. His wife notices and thinks about a fling of her own. Unfortunately, at the last minute she decides she doesn't want to fling, but the college boy forces his attention on her, and they're all flung. So she's an adultress in her mind and in her husband's, and then he goes with the little twitcher who drew his attention in the first chapter, and they drop peyote or something after she talks all crazy about opening the doors to the darkness of their souls, and woo doggy.

At times I felt bad for the main characters, and at other times I wished that maybe some deserved violence would come. But it didn't, and the book ends on a more hopeful note than Valley of the Dolls.

These books are most interesting to me for the insights they offer into the mindsets of the past. These sort of conundrums continue to occur--Heather and I watched Lost in Translation last night, and some of the themes are similar--but the characters react so differently based on society's expectations at the time. Interesting.

Which is about the most resounding endorsement I can give this book. Don't pick it up expecting a crime book, no matter what Fawcett wants you to think. The ploy must have worked, for this paperback I have is dated 1987, some 43 years after its first printing, and it's because John D. MacDonald wrote the book, not because the book grips readers that much.

The end.

Hope Is

The campaign worker, whose name badge indicated she was Ms. Kerry Edwards, walking up the driveway, past the pick-up truck with the American Flag, Green Bay Packers, and two George W. Bush stickers on it to rap on the door politely and ask Ms. Heather was home.

No, I told her, the Bush Cheney volunteer of the house was not home.

Loneliness Is

Why was I the only one at the recycling facility with a W sticker on his vehicle?

Filling the Litany

This morning, as I was taking my empties to the recycling facility so that they could hold beer again, I heard John F. Kerry's response to the presidential radio address, where in Senator Marrybucks said:
    Parents are sitting at kitchen tables and wondering how they’re going to make ends meet: How they’re going to buy back-to-school clothes this week, and still pay last week’s doctor bill. How they’re going to make this months [sic] mortgage payment, and still cover next semester’s tuition. And whether they’re going to be able to save for retirement or just have enough left over for a night at the movies.
Undoubtedly, some people will rejoice that John Kerry can get down rhetorically with the commen proletariat and empathize with their psychological discomfort. Unfortunately, John Kerry, in the interest of time, cut some of the best parts of his litany.

We here at mFBJN have done some crack investigative journalism, and by that I mean our staff did a little dumpster diving outside of JFK2HQ in our constant effort to find discarded 3/4 full bottles of Pierre Ferrand Ancestrale Cognac, Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve Bourbon, or Jameson 15 Year Pot Still Irish Whiskey (discarded because the freshly-opened bottle "just tastes better") or unshredded credit card slips (which you think this crack investigative staff would prefer to find is for you to judge, gentle reader). In addition to a cool pair of cuff links, our staff found a list of the dilemmas that John Kerry cut to make his speech fit.

These dilemmas that John Kerry cut from his empathy for the hoi polloi include:
  • A $6000 road bike to ride during a single photo op, or a good used car to drive for four years or until it stops running.

    That six thousand dollars can only be spent one way, friends. You want to know the strata of used cars? $6000 and up, or anything you buy from a new car dealer is a good used car; anything $1000 and up that you can buy from a used car lot is a questionable used car, anything over $200 that you get from the classifieds which runs for a year or maybe two if you're not afraid of brakeless driving is a fair used car, and anything you buy for $49 as salvage with the promise you'll fix it up is a poor used car.

  • A properly-tailored two piece suit, or an entire wardrobe for the children this year.

  • A flattering haircut by a trendy stylist-to-the-stars-and-politicos, or two vacations with the family outside the state, both of which do not involve camping.

  • Spending $300,000 to fly to the other coast in a luxury 747, or paying off the mortgage over 30 years, with full interest, for a single home in an inner suburb to a city in the middle of the country.

  • The Swiss chalet, or everything your poor little heads can dream.

Face it, Johnnie Rich (1 of 2), I cannot personally abide by empathy coming from someone so far out of my social strata, particularly when its condescenion comes with a slate of government spending to salve the ills you imagine we have.

Now pardon me while I pick up the chip and reset it for the next guy.

When Damn Kids Become Program Directors

YGDY, your favorite hits of the 1980s, with none of the hard rock or rap. This next song was the only hit from California-based Faith No More, it's "Epic"....

Friday, September 03, 2004
Other Things Bush Did Not Talk About

Via Spoons, we have this story: Bush Glosses Over Complex Facts in Speech:
    President Bush glossed over some complicating realities in Iraq, Afghanistan and the home front in arguing the case Americans are safer and his opponent cannot deliver.

    On Iraq, Bush talked of a 30-member alliance standing shoulder to shoulder with the United States, masking the fact that U.S. troops are pulling by far most of the weight. On Afghanistan and its neighbors, he gave an accounting of captured or killed terrorists, but did not address the replenishment of their ranks — or the still-missing Osama bin Laden.
In the interest of elaborating on CALVIN WOODWARD's points, I thought I would list some other things Bush did not address last night:
  • Insecurity in Microsoft products, or the purported superiority of Linux.

  • The ability of movie companies and comic book companies to maintain a profitable, lasting set of fan-appealing franchises when faced with misguided efforts, like The Hulk, and underappreciated-but-expensive films like Daredevil.

  • Lara Croft or BloodRayne: Which video game babe is hotter?

  • Cats who insist upon sticking their tails in my schooner of beer.

  • Those burps where Blogger (or other blogging software) makes you think you will, or you actually lose a post. What's up with that? Did Carnivore eat it?

  • The mere annoyances that are Spam, Adware, telemarketing phone calls, junk mail, and print or broadcast advertising of things I don't like--annoyances that demand FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ATTENTION NOW!

  • Scofflaws who don't buckle their safety belts. Why is this not a Federal crime yet, punishable with jail time?

  • Women bloggers who ficklely start and stop their blogs, over and over again, challenging other bloggers who want to keep their blogrolls fresh (This means you, Lucas, du Toit, VKate, et al.)

  • Those damn Chinese butterflies who keep beating their wings and starting hurricanes.

  • A federal study to determine how many types of information wild moonbats can communicate through their barks and grunts.

  • Introduction of federal tax assistance and incentives to bloggers unafraid of the beautiful blink tag.
Actually, history will show that Bush left more out of his speech than he included. Perhaps this was because it was a speech designed to come in under an hour with planned interruptions for applause, chants, and inevitable protestors.

Or maybe Bush is really trying to hide everything else from the world, which receives its information only when the Master pours his words into our ears.

More Piling On Schwarzeneggar

The San Francisco Chronicle runs a story wherein Austrian historians question the memories Schwarzeneggar used in his speech at the RNC, including Soviet troops and socialism:
    Austrian historians are ridiculing California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for telling the Republican National Convention that he saw Soviet tanks in his homeland as a child and left a "Socialist" country when he moved away in 1968.

    Recalling that the Soviets once occupied part of Austria in the aftermath of World War II, Schwarzenegger told the convention on Tuesday: "I saw tanks in the streets. I saw communism with my own eyes."

    No way, historians say, challenging Schwarzenegger's knowledge of postwar history -- if not his enduring popularity among Austrians who admire him for rising from a penniless immigrant to the highest official in America's most populous state.
Yeah, a bunch of historians are going to directly challenge Arnold's popularity by quibbling over rhetorical flourishes (socialism as an adjective versus a formal Socialist party) and whatnot. Here's the challenge to Arnold's memory:
    "It's a fact -- as a child he could not have seen a Soviet tank in Styria," the southeastern province where Schwarzenegger was born and raised, historian Stefan Karner told the Vienna newspaper Kurier.

    Schwarzenegger, now a naturalized U.S. citizen, was born on July 30, 1947, when Styria and the neighboring province of Carinthia belonged to the British zone. At the time, postwar Austria was occupied by the four wartime allies, which also included the United States, the Soviet Union and France.

    The Soviets already had left Styria in July 1945, less than three months after the end of the war, Karner noted.
I don't remember Arnold saying, "In Styria," but then again, I am not going out of my way to challenge a popular leader.

James Joyner had the first rebuttal here.

Retouching Last Nights Posts

I've corrected a couple minor grammar and punctuation mistakes, but I have not redone the Roman numerals because I repeated a number early, and didn't want to spend the morning editing the numbers on the posts. Perhaps next time I'll wisen up and use Arabic numerals.

But that's so un-pretensious.

Poor Form, Steinberg

Neil Steinberg, of the Chicago Sun-Times, today:
    The spirit of Wendell Willkie doesn't get invoked much by Republicans for one big reason: He lost. But there was Dick Cheney at the convention Wednesday night, harkening back to Franklin D. Roosevelt's opponent in the 1940 election, and how Willkie, though running against him, nevertheless supported FDR's foreign policy. Cheney did leave out one small detail: Willkie supported FDR's stance toward the war in Europe because he agreed with it.
In Al Franken's book, this makes Neil Steinberg a LYING LIAR who tells LIES!!!!

To some of us, though, it looks like a big journalism mistake wherein a professional either mistakes Dick Cheney for Zell Miller because they look so alike, or because he didn't watch the speeches or attentively read transcripts thereof and whose editors down the line made the same mistake.

So be it. I don't question Steinberg's core integrity; I do shake my head over his errors in thought and word.

Zell Miller's speech here.
Dick Cheney's speech here.

Press ALT+F and type WILKIE into the Find What edit box. Cripes, do I have to explain everything?

Thursday, September 02, 2004
Post Live Blogging Smack Talk

Stephen Green, the so-called "VodkaPundit," claims:
    Before we get to the (ha!) insightful stuff, let me note something:

    1 hour, 45 minutes.

    46 posts.

    Who's got the hardest-working blog in the business?
Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you, over the course of the last few days here at MfBJN, we had over 10 hours of live blogging with , hrm, C, carry the XVII, well, a lot of posts and a lot of booze.

Who's the hardest drinking blogger in blog business?

I meant working.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LX

So it ends.

This is the first convention I've watched. I am sorry I didn't see the Democrat convention this year so I could have more personal compare-and-contrast details, but perhaps in four years I'll remember to pay more attention. If I can remember this resolution tomorrow, when I have pulled the shades and crawl into this office to complete a work day.

I endorse George W. Bush for president, for what it's worth; I don't know whom I might convince to vote for him. The best I can hope, I suspect, is to inspire someone who would lean in that direction but who would normally be to lazy to vote.

Perhaps one day, I can attend a national convention, not as a blogger, but as a delegate from my home state. Some of this will depend on the loosening of the social conservatism of the Republican Party, and some will depend upon whether they have an open bar.

Thanks for stopping by. God bless you, and may God bless America.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog inanity, already in progress.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LIX

Dammit, I said Lee Greenwood, not Lee Ann Womack.

Freaking cellular phones.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LVIII

George W. Bush: Summation.

Was it the speech of his life? I don't know. I haven't seen them all.

He covered all the bases: foreign policy, domestic policy, past, present, future; himself, with perspective and humor, and his office. He knows the Republicans in the hall and in the nation don't agree with everything he says and does, but he hopes you respect him for his principles and for his ability to stick to them.

I do, Mr. President, I do.

I would say "O Captain, my Captain," but:
  • I'm not a Whitman fan.

  • I'm afraid a lot of people would think it was an allusion to Dead Poets' Society.

  • This is no occasion for an elegy; I hope our journey has only reached the midway point.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LVII

George W. Bush.

Damn kids, unfortunately many who will vote unwisely, would think "There is a time..." alludes to the Byrds.

It's the Bible, dudes.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LVI

George W. Bush.

"Here buildings fell; here, a nation rose."

That's a line worthy of a framing poem, so it can resound in anthologies for the ages. The Kipling who put it in a speech deserves reknown.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LV

George W. Bush.

The self-deprecating humor, regarding Arnold correcting his English and his Texas "walk" humanizes him greatly.

Unlike certain other elements of American political society, George W. Bush and others I admire recognize their foibles and can occasionally laugh about them.

Does Franken mock himself? I'm not asking rhetorically; I don't know. I don't listen to him.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LIV

George W. Bush.

We hold these truths to be self-evident....

The address reaches beyond petty contemporary concerns well.

We're with you, Georgie the Kid!

Crap, random Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure allusion. Sorry. Won't happen again.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LIII

George W. Bush.

He's adding historical context, comparing Germany 1946 with Iraq.

"Maybe that person is still around, writing editorials." Sweet.

Comparing himself (indirectly) to Truman (or perhaps contrasting Kerry with Truman) works. Come to think of it, couldn't both John Kerry and John Edwards run and succeed in Wisconsin?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LII

George W. Bush.

Some would say he's stepping on applause lines, but somehow it strikes me as though he's got more important things to do and to say and he cannot pause for adulation.

Just my impression.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LI

George W. Bush.

Not a roll call of states who helped (like Pataki), but countries. Presidential.

Who deserve the respect of Americans, not the scorn of a politician. That's got to leave a mark.

He respects and remembers even foreign troops.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part LI

George W. Bush.

He's dodged the "nuc-u-lar" bullet so far, but he hit "vee-hick-ulls".

PachyBlogging Day4, Part L

George W. Bush.

Hey, this dude has gravitas.

You'd expect the major media would comment on this.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part IXL(?)

George W. Bush.

A test of will. He's calling out the American street for its fickle nature.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLVIII

George W. Bush.

10,000,000 voters in Afghanistan. Good to mention this in prime time, although many network anchors are undoubtedly adding footnotes and "context."

America must keep its word. And when we say, "You're with us, or you're with the terrorists," we better smite those not with us.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLVII

George W. Bush.

Oh, it's Four More Years. Cripes, people, let him speak.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLVII

George W. Bush.

Defend America every time. That's your job, and that's the President's job, contrary to what some might think.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLVI

George W. Bush.

What's the chant? A disturbance on the floor? Protestors? Curse this blocky Internet feed!

Bush recovered well.

The Internet feed did, too; better than ever. Must have been some anti-Real player Microsoftians.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLV

George W. Bush.

Back up a minute: Bush said he'd appoint judges who could distinguish between the law and their personal opinions. This does fly in the face of certain opponents, who have espoused "The political is the personal," and it hearkens back to the Stoic(?) concept of understanding the difference between Public and Private man.

Of course, I never read a stoic, but I do have a degree in social philosophy.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLIV

George W. Bush.

Dinging a claim I had not heard by Kerry wherein the Democrat nominee said he was a candidate of conservative values.

Hollywood ding? Check. Works.

Defense of marriage act? Not so good.

Impugning Reagan? Check.

Meatloaf said it first: Two out of three ain't bad.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLIII

George W. Bush.

Welfare reform requiring work, and protecting the post-coital American citizens. Meat for the conservatives.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLII

George W. Bush.

He's calling Kerry out. I didn't expect that.

A politician who promises to raise taxes keeps that promise. Echoes of Tommy Thompson's first run against Tony Earl for Governor of Wisconsin, if I recall.

How did I forget Tony Earl in my list of Wisconsin politicians?

Roman Numeral Corrections to Follow

Okay, I am now out of my depth on Roman Numerals. I'll correct them later if I have messed them up. Apologies to my loyal reader who is keeping up with the live blogging.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XLI

George W. Bush.

I got that Spanish before he translated it. Leave no child behind. When do we get to hear some Mandarin, or some Hindi?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XL

George W. Bush.

He's going to do what to schools? Make them the path to the future? A bridge to the 21st-and-a-half century?

Aren't we going to eliminate the Department of Education any more?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXIX

George W. Bush.

New goals: 7 million more affordable homes? Cripes, leave that to developers and Habitat for Humanity, ainna?

Social Security reform? Bring it on!

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXVIII

George W. Bush.

Ensuring health centers for low population density areas? Guaranteed? Bad promise to make. Might be a worse one to keep.

And decisions won't be made by bureacrats in Washington? I guess he's proposing regional bureaucrat centers.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXVII

George W. Bush.

Don't know how I feel about the small business health gig. Ask me when I have to start funding employees.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXVI

George W. Bush.

Spend money on community colleges and job training? Do we have to?

American opportunity zones? Incentives? The Federal Government in charge of, what? Zoning? Local tax breaks? Ew.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXV

George W. Bush.

Reform the tax code....simplify it?

Oh, baby!

I supported Steve Forbes in 1996 before I voted for Dole. What do you think I want?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXIV

George W. Bush.

Making America a good place in which to do business? Good. Meat for we libertarian carnivores.

Level the playing field to sell American goods and services across the globe? Eliminate the minimum wage! Yeah!

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXIII

George W. Bush.

Government must take my side? Dammit, the government must only take my side against the foreigners and criminals who would harm me. Not against my fellow Americans or American governments.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXII

George W. Bush.

Liberty constantly expanding? Great shot kid, don't get cocky.

Am I the first with a Star Wars allusion? Does it matter?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXII

George W. Bush.

The drifting toward tragedy if America's uncertain line: very good. He said it would not happen on his watch, but not that his watch is the only answer. Good perspective.

Government improving lives but not running lives? Hmm. Trying to improve lives involves a certain amount of power that's on the road to running lives. Government should impact peoples' lives minimally.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXXI

George W. Bush.

Education spending and socialist senior support is good. Sigh.

Tax relief. Wooo!

You're expecting more insight from me at this pace?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXX

George W. Bush.

Now a role-call of the family, and the supporters/predecessors (Cheney and Reagan).

Already structured like an epic poem.


PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXIX

George W. Bush.

We can already see the valley? A little early to hang that banner on the aircraft carrier.

Especially since it's too close to an allusion to that whole 23rd Psalms thing.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXVIII

There his is. The nominee, George W. Bush.

Anyone who bet against him accepting the nomination, you have now lost.

Must have been mighty long odds and almost worth a $2.00 bet to win a million.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXVII

I think I just recognized the mating call of the wild big jawed Nevada woo woo woo woman.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXVI

Fred Thompson.

The president threw the first pitch from the rubber in Yankee Stadium while wearing body armor.

That's more manly than wind-surfing, bungee-jumping, playing hockey like a thug, and falling down on snow slopes, werd, because he did it and didn't make a show of it.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXV

Fred Thompson.

He's got a good voice, and he's played respected authority figures (See Die Hard II: Die Harder).

Also, I liked his commercial message in support of the Bush Doctrine (What warning did the terrorists give before 9/11?)

Changing the Rules

I should have told Stephen Green that the first person to a Ghostbusters II allusion wins.

I guess it's too late now.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXIV

George Pataki.

Final allusion to the Statue of Liberty as a uniting symbol that can make all of us feel good: reminiscient of Ghostbusters II.

I almost expect a cut to Yohanna de la Torres to in the observation deck of lady Liberty with a healthy dose of mood slime.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXIII

George Pataki.

A dilemma for the maestros: Previous nights have had the barn-burner speaker preceding the cool resolve speaker. I guess Pataki's supposed to be that crowd-riler, but the organizers couldn't pick someone who would overshadow the nominee.

Man, picking speaker slots must have been like organizing the line-up card for the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXII

George Pataki.

In the hands of a monster, a box cutter is a weapon of mass destruction. Good line, and good point for further reflection in which this blog cannot engage while its author hen-pecks words with one hand while trying to drink with the other.

"We've already been attacked." Cheney said that last night, didn't he? Or was it Miller?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XXI

George Pataki.

Talking about wanting a president who would ask the right question when attacked, "What do we do now?" when the wrong question is "Why did they do they hate us?"

A dig at the Clinton administration for not reacting strongly enough to earlier attacks, given in the form of "I wish they had acted more strongly."

Partisanship, or sincere hope? If you ask, you impugn Pataki, and Republicans, as Americans and as humans.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XX

George Pataki.

Google allusion, to John Kerry, when he says Kerry has to Google himself to know what his current position is.

Winning one for the Gipper? Good crowd response, but hmm.

Democrats losing one with the Flipper? Perhaps I should wait for the next note in the symphony before judgment.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XIX

George Pataki.

So he's the attack dog tonight, highlighting the contrasts between Bush and Kerry.

Do college professors call them Compare and Attack Dog papers now?

The new "And he did" refrain counterpoints the "But not John Kerry" bit from Steele two nights ago very, very well.

What orchestration!

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XVIII

George Pataki.

Bravo on recognizing contributions from other states after 9/11 and making those delegations stand. The United States of America.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XVII

George Pataki.

Am I the only one who thought his promise to be brief was an applause line?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XVI

Michael W. Smith is not Lee Greenwood.

And to clarify the rules, I said to Stephen Green about live blogging and drinking, "The first one to incoherence wins."

Note I am hand coding HTML here, so mistyped tags don't count.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XV

Mel Martinez.

Crap, there's the Spanish I couldn't follow completely. Got the "All is possible", though.

Also, the night's first allusion to John Winthrop's City on a Hill. Unfortunately, I suspect it's now an allusion to Reagan.

(John Winthrop's "A Modell of Christian Charity" here.)

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XIV

Mel Martinez.

Immigrants' messages strike me differently. They risk everything for an imagined ideal.

Of course, he escaped Cuba, and he's now espousing socialist benefits for seniors.

(Cut to LA FORGE, sweat beading on his forehead. "I am trying, captain, but these Rhetoricon Crystals vibrate to different harmonics!")

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XIII

Mel Martinez.

What, he's a candidate for Senator, and he gave up an existing government position to run? Well, Frank J. voted for him, so he's got to be....from Florida.

He's recounting a story like Arnold's about a youth in a totalitarian society.

His parents sent him to America? Lucky he's not some decades younger, or he would have been sent back.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XII

Geez, that dancing kid was a gomer, ainna?

Get the full video onto the Internet, and we've got a new phenomenon.

(Yes, I know, I am envious; I don't have those suhweet moves.)

Our Warm Cocoon

My beautiful wife just showed her wonderful mother the obvious photoshop of Jessica Cutler in a JC T-Shirt, and my wife had to explain to her mother who this Jessica Cutler is.

We bloggers live in such an warm, insulated cacoon. A cacoon almost as soft and protective as a fresh Visualize World Hegemony t-shirt.

Note to non-blogosphere readers: Want to know who Jessica Cutler is? No, you don't.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part XI

Brass metaphor competition now open.

Jay Tea: Geez, that's enough brass to equip a marching band.

Brian J.: Wow, there's more retired brass on that stage than on the floor of a firing range.

You call it, gentle reader.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part X

Hey, that's not Michael Williams.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part IX

Good twins video. Can I get that on DVD, perhaps a special edition where I can control the angle?

Although after their performance last night, it's not the people I would have picked to endorse the President's intelligence. And they made no literary allusions. And they called Bon Jovi old music.

But they're still all that and a bag of Cheetos.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part VIII

Why doesn't the "convention jockey" get her name spelled out? Is she junior to Yohanna de la Torres, or did one of the others....

Pardon me while I go radio silent--here's a Twins video.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part VII

Tommy Franks (cont'd).

Bush has remained loyal to those who served (unlike some who served and came home to testify in front of Congress against them....).

The "I Choose George W. Bush" refrain is an effective speaking device.

Next 200 years of history depend on choices we make today. I'd say its the weight of the trends of the decisions we make now and in the near future, but I'd inject too many nuances into his message.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part VI

Tommy Franks (cont'd).

He's not naming Kerry, but he's drawing subtle distinctions; Bush did everything to make sure that the commanders and troops had everything they needed (unlike some members of Congress)....

PachyBlogging Day4, Part V

Tommy Franks (cont'd).

Cool, methodical delivery. He's not doing a Zeller, but he knows that's not what his role is.

Hope is not a strategy. Very true.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part IV

Tommy Franks.

Choose, and choose wisely. Sounds like the last Crusader.

Remained loyal to their country and loyal to the troops....Unlike anyone in particular?

PachyBlogging Day4, Part III

Wow, there's more retired brass on that stage than on the floor of a firing range.

Introducing Tommy Franks now.

PachyBlogging Day4, Part II

On one hand, I don't dig infomercials aimed at groups singled out by ethnic heritage, but I guess it's important to extend a message of inclusiveness to some people who wouldn't generally hear it.

On the other hand, I feel smart for knowing just enough Spanish to comprehend all the commercial. Which means I can grasp slogans, but if he'd have gone into detailed policy, I would have been lost.

Off-Topic Congratulations

Hey, congrats to frequent reader and JC T-Shirts Darbo, who celebrated the Republican National Convention by shooting a bunch of doves yesterday. Woo!

(What do you mean "birds"?)

PachyBlogging Day4, Part I

Hello, chicks in tight things?

What convention have I turned on? Or what convention has turned me on?

Headline of the Day

March to protest Venice shootings set for Sunday.

The shootings set for Saturday, because they're not on the Sabbath, drew no objections.

Barack Obama: LIAR!!!

Listening to KMOX while I folded laundry, I caught a couple minutes of Charlie Brennan's talk with Barack Obama, candidate for senator in Illinois, and I have discovered he is a LIAR!!!

He offhandedly asserted the following:
  • That health care costs for average Ill-annoyans is rising every month.

  • That anyone in southern Ill-annoy can understand long term employment trends.
If you factor in that health care costs for a number of Ill-annoy voters are not increasing (because they're dead), and that insurance premiums for many employers' plans only increase annually, it's clear that he's a fearmonger. Also, if you find one person in southern Ill-annoy that doesn't interpret statistics, you've refuted his second point.

In the proud tradition of Al Franken, whose tome I am currently reading, this makes Barack Obama a LYING LIAR who tells LIES!!!

I think I am getting this professional partisan flack thing down. Hey, coaches from the bigs, contact me at and I will deploy the the shrill written equivalent of the blink tag for you.

Also, anyone can tell Barack Obama is not a politician from Wisconsin; he doesn't even have a first name for a first name.

Glenn Asks, Brian Answers

Instapundit asks:
    While I'm (sort of) on this topic, why doesn't the United States address the Afghan opium trade by just buying the stuff up? Presumably, farmers would be just as happy to sell their poppies to us, and that would keep them off the market, as well as depriving bad guys of a revenue source. Am I missing something here?
Just the law of supply and demand. Another purchaser on the market would only drive the price up, which would provide incentive for growers to grow more. Illicit purchasers would have to illicitly get more money, which means more crime eventually to support more expensive drug habits and more crime between the people in the industry.

Perhaps poppy farm subsidies are the answer, except poppy farmers would have incentive to take money for not growing poppies and to then grow poppies.

We'd have to chose a better solution from one of the following:
  • Drug legalization. I bet there are a number of New York tourists right now who would like an over-the-counter opiate to help them over their hangovers. Some of us in the heartland, too.

  • Increased demand for intact poppies. The VFW could switch from paper forget-me-nots to real ones. The United States could use poppies in the official currency paper, although this might lead to more people licking their dollar bills (although it's common practice in the Noggle household to lick money for the trace amounts of cocaine rumored to be in the bills). People could say I love you with dozens of poppies. However, until drugs are legalized, the government will strictly hamstring your FTD florist.
I did mention I am on the libertarian fringe of the Republican party did I not?

Wednesday, September 01, 2004
PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXXIV

Brooks and Dunn rock as well.

Let's end this before I run out of Roman numerals I know.

Return here tomorrow, friends, and we'll have a grand old party.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXXIII

Cheney did well.

Some posit a lot of evil in Dick Cheney. An amount of evil I cannot find in Al Gore, Joe Liebermann, or John Edwards, or another mere political opponent.

I've always thought of Cheney as competence. Quiet competence in the background.

That's what I'd like in a vice-president. Just in case.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXXII

Cheney's delivering a calm, focused speech.

Like last night, we get the firebrand speaker, and then the resolved speaker.


PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXXI

Our icons, if not only our leaders, can come from humble beginnings to inspire.

Dick Cheney's grandparents lived in a railcar. Michael Steele's mom worked in a laundromat.

Yo, Joe Suburb. Don't count yourself out of our party if your old man was a director at a pharma company.

Fortunately, though, I get to be one who reaches out from the humble end of the spectrum.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXX

XXX. And I am going to talk about Dick.

Those who bet on the long odds against Dick Cheney for VP, lose.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXIX

Lynne Cheney knew Dick Cheney in high school.

We in the heartland can understand marrying for life, whereas some of our coastal "betters" (including those who were from the heartland and who found themselves as our coastal betters do not--hear me, unca Newt?) don't bother.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XVIII

Zell Miller really dealt the thunder. 'Nuff said.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXVII

Enumerating weapons systems. Does he read Mark Steyn?

"Armed with what, spitballs?"

Holy, cow. Schwarzenneggar made me want to volunteer for campaign duty.

Zell Miller is speed-dialing my Marine recruiter for me.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXVI

Oh, my. Liberators, not occupiers.

Miller's delivering like an evangelist preacher in an awakening tent, and he's doing a bang up job.

He understands peace through strength.

He's not calling Kerry by name (yet), but he's close.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXV

Where are such statesmen today? Zell, you have to know we're going to say at that podium right now.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXIV

Zell's on it. It's for the children's security, which is our security too.

Unfortunately, he just said "draft."

Live Blogging Smack Talk

Ann Althouse: 9 updates, no liquor I can tell.

Me: 23 posts, a bottle of Greg Norman Cabernet-Shiraz.

Who's your blogger? Say it!

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXIII

They're piping "Soul Man" into Madison Square Garden.

Am I the only one to remember that Sam and Dave wouldn't let Bob Dole use that song in 1996?

Sam and Dave "Soul Man" lyrics

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXII

Sara Evans rocks.

Thank goodness that they didn't summon forth the "popular" Gretchen Wilson, no matter how immigrant her name sounds.

Come to think of it, where's Montgomery Gentry? They did a song called "Scarecrow" sort of like this.

Sara Evans' "Born To Fly" lyrics
Montgomery Gentry's "Scarecrow" lyrics

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XXI

The Step Forward refrain is good.

Marriage is between a man and a woman. Meat for the red crowd, but Romney's not convincing Andrew Sullivan (no link on purpose).

He's right about the national anthem reprise; our national anthem is quite the song of standing when assailed by enemies. (Okay, it was the British then, but the sentiment stands.)

Is God Bless You instead of God Bless America more personal? Call in the scholars!

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XX

Romney called our Iraq War a Just War.

Has he read St. Augustine?

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XIX

He knocked outsourcing. Poor form, Peter.

If we're so strong, our workers will provide more value than outsourced labor.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XVIII


"Sue me." First belly laugh of the night.

Send in John Kerry...send in the clowns? I think I get it.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XVII

Kerry Healey. From Massachussetts. Is she related to Lt. Healy, with the State Police?

She's enjoying her spot, which is better to watch than previous speakers who didn't seem to enjoy what they were saying quite as much.

Building up Mitt Romney....for a run? What?

Oh, an introduction. Heh. Where's my syllabus?

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XVI

Which reminds me, where is Lee Greenwood?

I guess that's for tomorrow night.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XV

Okay, I said I would not comment on the Reagan video, but I will.

This video was "Taps."

Ronald Reagan was "America the Beautiful."

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XIV

Michael Reagan is a professional, and he's a Reagan. Finally, some life in the crowd.

Pro-Life. I guess there's no more hiding the babykillers' choice-killing ways.

An adoptee? Damn, the Republicans will take anyone. Immigrants, unwanted children..... Heartless fascists.

Another Winthrop allusion. Criminey, how come the Shining City on the Hill gets more play than the Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God phrase?

I will not comment on the video.

Also Live Blogging

Homie Ann Althouse, who after twenty years doesn't understand it's "Wi - SCAHN - sin".

Also, she's using TiVo to cheat, but check it out anyway.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XIII

This Pennsylvania small business owner Blue Bell keeps calling herself black, which indicates she's insensitive to minorities.

If she sees her skin color as nothing more than a physical characteristic like height or eye color, she could be a Republican because the Democrats would not have had her.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XII

Yohanna de la Torres made it to New Mexico in like ten minutes?

Cripes, the moonbats are going to have a tizzy about that.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part XI

Homie alert! A rep from Wisconsin. With cattle on the backdrop. If only they could pipe some of that wonderful dairy-air into the Madison Square Garden.

He's got a bit more energy.

Why do all the Wisconsin politicians have first names for first names and last names?
  • Gary George
  • Tommy Thompson
  • Tony Earl
  • Herb Kohl (Cole, okay, a stretch)
  • Paul Ryan
  • Michael Ellis
  • Gerald Kleczka
He's trying to recapture a bit of Steele's "But not John Kerry" mojo from last night.

He's an earnest anti-Kerry bludgeon.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part X

Fifth generation family farmer? Sure, the repeal of the death tax is good.

Now, about those subsidies.

At least she spared us the "they'd have to sell the farm when we bought the farm" joke that I could not.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part IX

Jeez, talk about some delegate hangovers.

That's gotta be it.

I hope that's it. For their sakes.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part VIII

Small business people. I checked that box on my GOP volunteer form.

Unbundled contracts? Good move.

On the other hand, we have someone with a Spanish accent talking about the Alamo. History suggests that we white Americans have a grievance about that. I am offended. Well, no, perhaps not.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part VII

Why is Rob Portman getting more response than Elaine Chao? Are the delegates hoping to impress Natalie?

He's a little more fluid of a speaker than Chao; he's not pausing for applause that's not forthcoming. You don't wait for the response and hope your pause will spur it.

Unfortunately, Portman seems confounded by the role of the executive branch and the legislative branch, which is I guess to be expected when one's dealing with the nomination of the executive branch.

America cannot win in the global business environment; it can only compete effectively, perpetually. Or not. The only way to win would be to amass all the world's land and resources....


PachyBlogging, Day3, Part VI

Elaine Chao is pausing for applause that's not coming. How sad. The delegates should drink more.

She's doing okay, but her personal anecdotes aren't connecting.

When mentioning the divesity in Bush's cabinet and government, she gets a bit.

Unfortunately, she's the Secretary of Labor, and she's talking about education.

Poor woman, trapped in one of the more obviously superfluous departments and blending its mission with another superfluous department's.

Bush not resting until everyone who wants a job has one? He's going to look mighty haggard by election day.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part V

The untold story from the remote from Queens: the fellow that Bush put his arm around? The imperial food taster.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part IV

Warning: If you're watching on Tivo and are a little behind live time, don't bet against Dick Cheney for the VP nomination. Those mean other bloggers are trying to mislead you and take your money.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part III

I tried to turn Owen of Boots and Sabers onto the CSPAN live Internet feed because it has no commentators.

Unfortunately, that means that all we get during the musical numbers is shots of people on the floor dancing. But that's refill the booze time.

Now get off my Real feed, Owen; when I was the only one on't, it was pretty smooth. Now that two of us are using Realplayer, it's getting a little blocky.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part II

I would like to have seen at least 1 vote for Other just to remind George W. Bush that we would hold him accountable.

But undoubtedly, certain quarters would spin that as the beginning of the fracturing of the Republican party.

PachyBlogging, Day3, Part I

I wish Nevada would have passed one more time just so I could see that woo woo wooooo woman with the vast lower lip one more time.

As a wise man once ended a book, And I never saw her again.

No, it wasn't Roger L. Simon.

See What You Made Me Do?

So I get 1000 hitz and 1 t-shirt order? You're making me do naughty things, including dramatic recreations of hypothetical situations wherein Jessica Cutler's twin sister Monica were to model JC T-Shirt's Visualize World Hegemony t-shirt:

Note that this is only a dramatic recreation, and no Visualize World Hegemony t-shirts were harmed in the creation of this dramatic recreation.

Mail Call

Received an envelope with a touching flier featuring underfed, ill-clad waifs, and I was ready to write a check to whoever was going to feed those poor children.

Until I realized Sports Illustrated was offering me an opportunity to purchase their endless line of 2005 swimsuit calendar products.

What kind of sports do these foals participate in? Wearing a flag on their heads and marking golf holes?

That Makes Me a Baby Genuis

Neil Steinberg writes the following about the RNC convention in his column today in the Chicago Sun-Times:
    One reason I could never be a Republican is their squeamish view of the world. Everything is dirty, or evil, or forbidden. I tried to watch the start of the convention with an open mind, and wasn't even irked by the lone theme of the first night -- Sept. 11 -- as if the American people are too dumb to absorb two ideas in an evening.

    During the montage of recruiting-ad-style tributes to the military, I tried not to be bothered by a guns-and-glory view of war that went out of style after Vietnam.

    Then they sang the Air Force Fight Song. I've always loved that song, with its thrilling opening line, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder/Climbing high into the sun. . . . '' Then they got to the verse, "Down we dive, spouting our flame from under/Off with one helluva roar!"

    Only they didn't sing "helluva roar." They sang "terrible roar.'' My guess is, a little bowdlerization for the Right Wing, with its horror of profanity, Harry Potter, gay marriage and all matters Satanic and things hellish, or even helluvaish. It's a philosophy for babies.
With that broad brush, Steinberg demonstrates the "live and dictate condescension" philosophy espoused by...well, not all Democrats because I realize some are not like that. Perhaps we could narrow the focus to Chicago tabloid columnists secretly ashamed of their suburban homes. Or Neil Steinberg, anyway.

He gets paid to write a column knocking the Republican convention. I get to write all I want lauding it, for free, and I can drink all I want on the job. Advantage: me!

Someone who makes it to the end of his column, let me know if he:
  1. Kicks Bob Greene while Greene's starting to get up from being down.

  2. Deploys the rhetorical flourish of so-called to earn his pay as a wordsmith.

MOR of the Same

Of course, I hear the Bowling for Soup song quoted below on 93X, which is Adult Alternative Music.

Which is one step from Easy-Listening Alternative Hits of Yesterday and Today.

Maybe less. Perhaps 7/10 of a step.

Good Morning, Middle Age

Yea, verily, I quote from the book of Bowling for Soup, and the prophets saith:
    Debbie just hit the wall
    she never had it all
    one Prozac a day
    husband's a CPA
    her dreams went out the door
    when she turned twenty-four
    only been with one man
    what happen to her plan?

    She was gonna be an actress
    she was gonna be a star
    she was gonna shake her ass
    on the hood of Whitesnake’s car
    her yellow SUV is now the enemy
    looks at her average life
    and nothing has been alright

    Bruce Springstein, Madonna
    way before Nirvana
    there was U2 and Blondie
    and music still on MTV
    her two kids in high school
    they tell her that she’s uncool
    but she still preoccupies
    with 19, 19, 1985
Of course, for we in Generation X, riding in the slipstream of the sonic Boomers, 40 is only the end of adolescence these days. Thanks, sixties generation. Now grow up so we can.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Pachy Blogging, Day II, Summation

Not bad. Schwarzenneggar/Bush was a different point/counterpoint approach to the evening, which differed from yesterday's McCain/Giuliani blend. Arnold's got the immigrant cred, and his speech made me want to do more for my country and for what's becoming my party.

I almost was ready to volunteer for phone duty at the local Bush Cheney HQ.

Let me sleep on it, though. I did a couple weeks of phone duty as a telemarketing fundraiser (also when I was 22, concurrent to but not lasting as long as my grocery store job), so I have had my fill of people hanging up on me rudely.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Join me here for PachyBlogging3. Same time, same snark, different booze.

Tonight's was Fat Bastard Shiraz, by the way. RNC blogging demands something more than beer, even Guinness.

Speaking of Whores

Don't forget to visit JC T-Shirts for the best in casual wear, including the world famous Visualize World Hegemony t-shirt:

(Hi, Instapundit readers! Thanks for stopping by! Forget hitting my archives, hit my t-shirt shop instead.)


"Did you hear that Washingtonienne is going to be in Playboy?" my beautiful wife asked.

"So I heard," I said.

Cutler Come-On

Pachy Blogging, Day II, XIV

Laura Bush complements Schwarzenneggar's speech well. She's defining the country, and the leadership of the last four years, as she defines her husband. A soft-spoken performance to reinforce the rousing we received earlier.

Also, she's not a bad looking woman.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, XIII

Heather says if I mention the twins, she mentions George P. Fair enough.

I prefer Barbara.

They didn't do too well, but they're just 22. What was I doing at 22? Stocking the dairy section at a grocery store. However, I was doing open mikes, so I would have had better timing behind the mike.

So, honey, how about George "Perfect Teeth" Bush?

Pachy Blogging, Day II, XII

Undoubtedly, some critics would say that the cameras are finding each and every minority delegate in the arena, to which I have to point out that it's still more integrated than a New York Rangers game.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, Part XI

Schwarzenneggar has the cred. He's an immigrant, he's self-made, and he's a Republican. Anything he says, I can agree with.

I do not, however, want to amend the Constitution for him.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, X

Michael Steele could be the first black president. Where can I send my donation for 2012/2016?

Pachy Blogging, Day II, IX

Rod Paige gave a fair speech with, um, vanilla platitudes, and then we cut to a video set in St. Louis.

Although I'm not a fan of federal education spending or St. Louis City schools, the video piqued my attention.

Some of those condemned buildings looked neat, and I'll bet they are inexpensive.

I bet William Lacy Clay, Jr., would like suburban investors coming into his secure district. I was going to call myself a "whitebread" investor, but I am above using racial epithets, even on myself.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, VIII

Wow, Hasselbeck fumbled a couple times, huh? She looked a little dazed in the pocket and couldn't read the field. She certainly didn't elevate the play of her receivers.

Man, I can't wait for football season.

I'm sorry. Like most of Madison Square Garden, my attention wandered there for a moment.

Who Won The Olympics?

Who got the most medals at the Olympics? Why, the European Union, of course:
    EURO chief Romano Prodi last night hailed Britain’s haul of Olympic gold as a triumph — for the European Union.

    And he warned our athletes will have to fly the EU flag as well as the Union Jack at Beijing in 2008.

    That would mean 800m and 1500m champion Kelly Holmes and boxing sensation Amir Khan would be battling for Brussels as much as Britain.

    Mr Prodi turned the Athens games into a political football, boasting that our bag of 30 medals helped the EU trounce America and China.
Why stop there? Why not go all out and say:

The West defeated the East, the Islamic Crescent, and Africa!

It's true. Check out these medal totals, which I gleaned from the official Olympic site:
Culture Country Gold Silver Bronze Country
The West United States 35 39 29 103
  Russia 27 27 38 92
  Australia 17 16 16 49
  Germany 14 16 18 48
  France 11 9 13 33
  Italy 10 11 11 32
  Great Britain 9 9 12 30
  Cuba 9 7 11 27
  Ukraine 9 5 9 23
  Hungary 8 6 3 17
  Romania 8 5 6 19
  Greece 6 6 4 16
  Norway 5 0 1 6
  Netherlands 4 9 9 22
  Brazil 4 3 3 10
  Sweden 4 1 2 7
  Spain 3 11 5 19
  Canada 3 6 3 12
  Turkey 3 3 4 10
  Poland 3 2 5 10
  New Zealand 3 2 0 5
  Belarus 2 6 7 15
  Austria 2 4 1 7
  Slovakia 2 2 2 6
  Georgia 2 2 0 4
  Bulgaria 2 1 9 12
  Jamaica 2 1 2 5
  Denmark 2 0 6 8
  Argentina 2 0 4 6
  Chile 2 0 1 3
  Czech Republic 1 3 4 8
  South Africa 1 3 2 6
  Croatia 1 2 2 5
  Lithuania 1 2 0 3
  Switzerland 1 1 3 5
  Belgium 1 0 2 3
  Bahamas 1 0 1 2
  Israel 1 0 1 2
  Dominican Rep 1 0 0 1
  Ireland 1 0 0 1
  Latvia 0 4 0 4
  Mexico 0 3 1 4
  Portugal 0 2 1 3
  Finland 0 2 0 2
  Serbia/Montenegro 0 2 0 2
  Slovenia 0 1 3 4
  Estonia 0 1 2 3
  Paraguay 0 1 0 1
  Venezuela 0 0 2 2
  Colombia 0 0 1 1
  Trinidad/Tobago 0 0 1 1
  Totals 223 236 260 719
The East China 32 17 14 63
  Japan 16 9 12 37
  Korea 9 12 9 30
  Chinese Taipei 2 2 1 5
  DPR Korea 0 4 1 5
  Hong Kong 0 1 0 1
  India 0 1 0 1
  Mongolia 0 0 1 1
  Thailand 3 1 4 8
  Totals 62 47 42 151
Islam Kazakhstan 1 4 3 8
  Egypt 1 1 3 5
  Azerbaijan 1 0 4 5
  U Arab Emirates 1 0 0 1
  Indonesia 1 1 2 4
  I. R. Iran 2 2 2 6
  Syrian Arab Rep 0 0 1 1
  Uzbekistan 2 1 2 5
  Totals 9 9 17 35
Africa Eritrea 0 0 1 1
  Cameroon 1 0 0 1
  Zimbabwe 1 1 1 3
  Kenya 1 4 2 7
  Ethiopia 2 3 2 7
  Morocco 2 1 0 3
  Nigeria 0 0 2 2
  Totals 7 9 8 24
Oh, yeah, we trounced those other cultures, ainna? The West! Birthplace of democracy, Enlightenment (nirvana notwithstanding), capitalism, and sports which require expensive equipment and training to excel.

What, Mr Prodi, you think it's unsophisticated to extrapolate that far? Then shut your soon-to-be even-more-irrelevant yap and allow your Worthless Pact satellite countries to enjoy a bit of harmless nationalism on the fields of sport and recognize the Olympics for what they are: games.

Of course, as such, I suppose it's only natural that a EUcrat would see the Olympics as nothing but a continuation of EU diplomacy by other means.

(Link seen originally on blogoSFERICS.)

Pachy Blogging, Day II, VII

Bill Frist brags about the new Medicare drug benefit, throwing red meat to his tribe, the Socialist Seniors of America, and then says the Republicans are a party for smaller government.

I keep expecting a cut to a concerned Geordi La Forge in engineering, brainstorming to how he can refactor the Rhetoricon Crystals to prevent the impending space-time rip caused by the paradox.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, VI

VodkaPundit can only liquor himself up enough to live blog a single speech? Pah.

I am the hardest drinking man in blogbusiness!

Pachy Blogging, Day II, V

The blogger pin-up Erika Herald talks about faith-based initiatives.

I am all in favor of them. Instead of government-funded programs, not as government-funded programs. They're effective because they have extensive contact with the people they serve, and because people serve to salve their souls, not to maintain six figure salaries and to keep themselves in conference-in-exotic-locale tans.

Detective McDonald is warming to his speech and is doing well, too.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, IV

Who the heck is Dana Glover?

What, was Danny busy?

Pachy Blogging, Day II, III

George P. Bush, one of the little brown ones, does well enough. Diversity in the GOP? Hell, there's diversity in the Bush family, for crying out loud.

When he cuts to Spanish at the end, it reminds me of watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture dubbed in Spanish during a high school Spanish class. A stream of Spanish dialog until someone refers to a character by name, when the original actor's voice breaks in with the very American pronunciation, "Spock."

Pachy Blogging, Day II, II

Cut away to the Bush twins, facing each other, leaning closer....

Oh, yes.

Now, if their grandmother would get out from between them. She's ruining the effect.

Pachy Blogging, Day II, I

Elizabeth Dole goes into the wilderness and returns with some meat for her tribe.

How family values is Liddy? Her husband was senator from Kansas, and now she's senator from North Carolina. Ladies and gentlemen, the Doles slept in separate beds in separate states. Either that, or Liddy is a carpetbagger.

But she's our carpetbagger, so that makes it all right?

Memo to the DNC

Next time you send me a complimentary, personalized photo of the Johnsey twins, please remember to include the supplemental dartboard.


So-Called Watch

An attorney has sued over use of so-called as an adjective modifying his profession and his practice thereof:
    Elderly Schenectady (NY) lawyer Romolo Versaci has filed a $100,000 defamation suit against Diane C. Richie, an unemployed social worker and widow with two children. Versaci claims -- and Richie admits -- that she called him a "so-called attorney" on a message board. ...
I wonder if I can get in on some of the action.

The New T-Shirt

Order yours now

So-Called Watch

Where did these guys learn how to write?
    "America today has used all its force, as well as the help of others, to fight Islam under the so-called war on terror, which is nothing but a vicious crusade against Muslims," the statement said.
Oh, we can guess.

Althouse Doesn't Care for Rubes in Paradise Either

Ann Althouse doesn't care for the Rubes in Paradise theme I touched on I mentioned last night--except she's talking about the extra condescending, non-Republican sponsored asides provided by media commentators.

Monday, August 30, 2004
Pachyblogging X

McCain rocks. My wife is done with her Dance Dance Revolution on the den television for the night. I am watching Giuliani on cable. T1 passes in a pinch, but it's not cable television yet.

Good night.

Pachyderm Blogging IX

The mission was necessary, achieveable, and noble.


Pachyderm Blogging VIII

Boo to you, Michael Moore.

I would like to point out that I personally supported McCain before Bush in 2000. I think he's crazy enough to carried the war to the terrorists in 2001 and beyond. Also, McCain as president, there would have been no McCain-Feingold. There, I said it.

Pachyderm Blogging VII

John McCain, who cannot comb his own hair from hanging and torture in POW camps in North Vietnam, says this is the challenge of our generation.

His, and ours. It's the continuing challenge of all American generations.

Pachyderm Blogging VI

Lindsey Graham? I never would have guessed from his vocals on "Big Love" that he had a southern accent.

United America? I daresay not. We are the United States of America, you politico. We shall not dissolve the electoral college, nor will we let the majority of Americans rule this country.

I thought they said you were from North Carolina. Sounds like a Washingtonian sentiment to me.

Pachyderm Blogging V

Spare me the Rubes in Paradise interviews with people from the rest of the country who're in NYC for the first time.

I've never been to NYC, and I'm no worse for wear. No less sophisticated, no less educated, and Hillary Clinton is not one of my senators.

Pachyderm Blogging IV

Sometimes a Cocoon allusion just feels right.

Pachyderm Blogging III

This is opening night of the festival? Kerik, police officers, fire department union members in Milwaukee, Zainab Al-Suwaij, and then the crescendo of McCain and Giuliani?

Who said the GOP had no star power? If this is foreplay, I am a dead man!

I Got Your Live Blogging Right Here

Sitting in the den with a laptop as you curse your wireless connection? Pah! You're a piker.

Me, I'm sitting in my office. I've deployed the T1 for its ultimate purpose: streaming media. I've got the eMac fired up and running the CSPAN live feed while I sit here and blog on my primary Windows machine.

Face it. You are a poor geek. Bow to me!

Pachyblogging II

I like
Coverage on CSPAN
Texas hard rock bands
Devious Karl Rove plans
And twins.

Leaders who are Dicks
Hot conservative chicks
Moving Reagan pics
And those twins.

(I think I shall have to learn to appreciate the comfort of the sofa this evening with my less-than-latent fixation.)


That giant blue elephant on the video screen behind the podium would be a whole lot better in 3D, ainna?

Whoa! Look out for that trunk!

Pay The Surcharge, Chicken

The corporate world proves B.F Skinner right once again. Our local Pizza Hut charges seventy-five cents for deliveries now, a cost it just appends to the top of your coupon and the tax. It doesn't break out the cost nor publicize it anywhere, but you're probably paying it.

Thanks to the phone companies, wireless companies, and all other companies who have accustomed consumers to surcharges, bogus taxes, and costs of businesses so that the advertised price represents purely the profit, and everything else is extra.

Mail Call

  • Another Monday, another 5 unsolicited credit card offers, including 3 separate campaigns from Citibank. Gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to return your business reply envelopes with the terms of your offer, but not application. I consider it my small part to keep first class postal rates down and to raise your cost per customer acquisition for these campaigns.

  • A plea for money from George Bush. Look, George, I've given money, we're probably going to give up time and lawnspace for the campaign, but if you want more cash, you're going to have to send a picture of your daughters.

    For this gambit to be effective, make sure that's addressed to Mr. Brian and not Mrs. Heather (or, as she might be again known shortly after reading this post, Miss HLI, in which case I won't have any money to give anyway).

  • An offer for AOL 9.0 Optimized, which proclaims right on the box, Block Spam and Web Pop-Ups. As someone who's logged into AOL 9.0 on a dial-up recently, I certainly notice the oversight that new customers won't: Web Pop-Ups doesn't say a damn thing about the six or ten AOL offers that display whenever you try to log in or log out. Those? Still in there.

    An overly expensive dial-up ISP that delivers its own ads to enhance my (slow) browsing experience? Throwing this out unopened is too good for this small box.

Sunday, August 29, 2004
Cheer Up, You're Still Going to Die

A man, diagnosed with HIV in 1996, discovers it was an error. Relieved? Happy? Thrilled with his reprieve? What are you thinking?
    Earlier this month, Malone, 59, was summoned to his doctor's office. He listened as the doctor delivered the stunning news: He is HIV negative. The doctor acknowledged the error, writing in a letter dated Aug. 4: "As his primary care provider, I take full responsibility."

    "He told me, 'We made a very big mistake. We did not do our job,' " said Malone, who is gay and has lost friends to AIDS. "I said, 'You mean to tell me that all you have to say is you are sorry? Sorry that I lived for all this time believing I was going to die?' "
How about "Sorry" and "You can keep the free parting gifts" which included:
    His rent was paid in part by a county health program. Project Open Hand delivered free meals. A nurse visited him at home every two weeks.
Undoubtedly, he's more relieved than the story presents, but then the article goes into a riff about:
    His misdiagnosis is rare but undisputed and shows the far-reaching damage wrought by medical mistakes and the potential for flaws in burdened health care systems.
Who's responsible? Well, since Malone's a vet, it's an example of government efficiency in health care:
    Officials at the Oakland Department of Veterans Affairs' outpatient clinic where he was treated admit the mistake and have launched an investigation into what went wrong and how the error was perpetuated year after year. VA officials were taken by surprise by the Aug. 4 letter in which the doctor accepted blame and admitted the error. Malone's physician, Dr. Richard Karp, was not available to comment as the case is under investigation.

    Karen Pridmore, a spokeswoman for VA's Northern California Health Care System, which has eight clinics and a medical center and serves more than 65, 000 patients, said Malone had arrived at the clinic in 1996 with lab results from an outside testing firm in Southern California. Those results showed he was HIV positive. The VA did its own confirmatory HIV test on Malone and found he was negative.
Will this albeit anecdotal evidence silence calls for socialized medicine, which I don't doubt the San Francisco Chronicle supports?

Of course not. Undoubtedly, they would have the rest of the government do it better, by....Well....Erm....

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."