Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Saturday, September 29, 2007
One of These Things Is Not Like The Others
One of these things is not like the others.

Friday, September 28, 2007
Critical Mass To Celebrate Anniversary, Beat Helpless Drivers
Here's a nice, friendly fluff piece on tonight's Critical Mass bike ride in San Francisco: Critical Mass celebrating 15 years of free-form bicycle advocacy:
    Tonight's Critical Mass in San Francisco marks the 15th anniversary of the rebellious rolling ride that locally has propelled the bicycle movement into the political mainstream and globally has been copied by hundreds of cities.
I guess that means the regularly-scheduled automobile driver story will be tomorrow, then.

And "free-form" activism means "violence," kinda like "activism" does nowadays. Check.

Headline Presents Passive Voice That Frees Authorities from Responsibility
Notice the difference between the headline and the actual story: Last of roaming bulls found dead:
    The bull was initially spotted in the 3800 block of Gasconade Street in St. Louis. People who spotted the bull called 911 and dispatchers alerted animal rescue workers.

    The bull nearly ran onto busy Interstate 55, but crews were able to coax it away from the highway. The bull then took off and ran for about two miles south along railroad tracks. Crews pursued but the bull eventually stumbled down the steep embankment.

    Crews tried to free the bull which had its legs twisted and wedged between boulders but the animal quickly went into shock and died.

    "It's very disappointing," said Roger Vincent of the Missouri Emergency Response Service. "We were hoping to save him and send him on his happy way."
Oh, you sent him to a better place all right. These Animal Welfare Experts chased this livestock down a hill to its death.

If they were not Animal Welfare Expert Crews and were just normal people, do you think they'd be charged with animal cruelty?

I'm not saying they should be; I'm just saying that they probably could, unfortunately for those of us who are not experts.

From Downtown, It's All High Ridge
Aged woman pulled from High Ridge fire:
    An elderly woman who could be heard screaming Friday from inside her burning mobile home moments before firefighters arrived, has died.

    High Ridge Fire District Chief Mike Arnhart said a neighbor called 911 and said she could hear the woman, who was in her 80s, screaming from inside the structure in the Brookside Estates trailer park in Fenton. Firefighters arrived around 2:21 a.m. and found the woman near a side door, Arnhart said.
Word to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Brookside Estates is not in either High Ridge nor Fenton. The region between Valley Dell Road or perhaps even Sugar Creek Road to the west and the St. Louis County Line is Murphy, or as my mother got into her head sometime Murphy Flats, although the area is not very flat at all.

The town of High Ridge is several miles to the west, although the border was generally considered Little Brennan or Sugar Creek Roads. Fenton, on the other hand, is a town inside St. Louis County and not in Jefferson County. It is, however, just over the hills from Brookside Estates.

And how do I know these things? Because for a number of years, I lived in Siesta Manor Mobile Home Park across Delores Drive from where this woman died, and in those years, that little mobile home park was my whole world.

Thursday, September 27, 2007
Lost/Stolen Computer Tapes Only An Issue If Thief Wanted To Steal Computer Tapes
In the worst calming commentary I've ever seen, some computer person comments that the theft of computer backup tapes is really only an issue when the person who steals the tapes knows how to get the information from the tapes.

Which means you're okay if the thief mistakenly thought the backup tapes were DVD players or something else you can sell for easy cash to any fence in the city.

Okay, then.

The danger in stolen computer tapes only happens when the burglar knowingly steals computer tapes.

All clear.

And I feel better.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Coming Soon: Municipal Fines for Zoning Violations
Vick Indicted on Dogfighting Charges:
    Michael Vick and three co-defendants were indicted by a grand jury Tuesday on state charges related to a dogfighting ring operated on Vick's Virginia property.

    The grand jury passed on indicting the Atlanta Falcons quarterback and two of co-defendants on eight counts of animal cruelty, which would have exposed them to as many as 40 years in prison if convicted.

    Vick, who already pleaded guilty in federal court to a dogfighting conspiracy charge and is awaiting sentencing on Dec. 10, was indicted for beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and engaging in or promoting dogfighting.
Double jeopardy? No, ha ha! It's different jurisdictions! So he's being prosecuted for the same action, with the same crime name, but it's not unconstitutional!

Ah, the innovations in the legal systems since our founding fathers put quill to paper. Not for our betterment, but it does wonders for prosecutors' conviction rates.

Because It Doesn't Have An Annoying Dog Laughing At You
That's not a duck hunt. This is a duck hunt.

Monday, September 24, 2007
Zombie Accelerator
You know the phrase "wouldn't be caught dead in"? Doesn't that phrase really identify the garment in question as some sort of zombie accelerator? I mean, seriously, if you're planning your life-after-death, I guess it's worthwhile to think what sort of outfit will make you faster and all, but I have better ways to spend my time.

Like making long almost-puns that amuse no one but myself.

(This musing based upon this post.)

Surveillance Cameras Add To Security....Of Police
In Britain, the land of the night of 1000 eyes, 80% of crime goes unsolved. Apparently, the police over there don't use them to dispatch actual officers to dangerous situations, either:
    A SCHOOLBOY has been caught on CCTV brandishing what appears to be an AK47 machine gun on a railway station platform.

    The youngster, aged about 15, and a friend got the gun out of a bag and then allegedly aimed the weapon at a terrified crane driver working on the opposite side of the tracks at Newton Station in Hyde, Greater Manchester.

    Driver David Wood rang his boss who filmed the incident on CCTV cameras and called police.

    But after officers failed to turn up promptly, the youngsters disappeared.
So what are the cameras there for, if not to help solve crimes or to allow the police to dispatch officers to trouble spots immediately?

It's all about budgets and shiny things for government bureaucracies.

(Link seen on The Other Side of Kim.)

Sunday, September 23, 2007
The Skrulls Attack!
Alien foe imperils KC conventions:
    When the mayor named a 73-year-old grandmother to the city's park board -- which considers issues like off-leash dog areas and outdoor party permits -- the move might have gone largely unnoticed.

    But Frances B. Semler's appointment could now cost the city millions of dollars because she is a member of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, a group that advocates vigilante patrolling of the Mexican border and reports illegal immigrants to authorities.

    Her membership has drawn sharp criticism from the National Council of La Raza, the nation's largest Hispanic advocacy group, and the NAACP. Both groups are threatening to show their displeasure by canceling conventions scheduled to be held in Kansas City.
Well, that's disappointing; instead of a real alien foe, we've got the normal victim groups threatening Armageddon over a secure borders advocate, both of which call her a racist no doubt with no self-consciousness that their very groups work to isolate and elevate particular races by name (Colored People and The Race).

I almost wish it were the Skrulls, because at least they shape shift instead of forcing everything else to change shape to accommodate them.

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."