Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Saturday, July 26, 2008
One Cup Of Earl Grey, Hot, Away From Jean-Luc Picard
Godwin's law states that As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.. A lesser known corollary, or maybe something I just made up, states that most disputes can be clarified by using a Picard versus Kirk clarifying analogy.

Therefore, I would posit for your reflection, that Obama is Picard and McCain is Kirk.

Obama lives in a moneyless world where the Federation rules all aspects of its citizens lives, and the military vessel he runs would only use its weapons to make pretty lights as it ferried ambassadors and vaccines all over the galaxy.

McCain, on the other hand, lives in a world where the Federation is an outpost of decency barely clinging on in a galaxy where others would conquer it and it wants to have adventures, dammit. McCain also sings "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran," and he might be bluffing....but maybe not. You can see Kirk doing that, but not Picard. That's my point.

So, friends and three of my four regular readers (excepting my sainted mother, who isn't geek enough for this post), please, let me know in the comments whether the analogy holds up.

Also, please no obvious Obama is Sisko bits. One, I don't know if I've ever watched a complete episode of Deep Space Nine in my life, and two, any Star Trek series with a number in its acronym is a sissy series (and I include ST:V in this assessment even though V is only a Roman number--however, Obama is Janeway comments might be acceptable.)

Get your geek on!

When You Read The Spam Subject Lines Wrong
Let's just say that it probably didn't actually say:

Hot sex with Adobe products

But since I deleted them whole stack very quickly, I cannot say for sure, and it's not actually impossible.

Thursday, July 24, 2008
That's Just Sad
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch uses the AB-InBev merger as a springboard to launch a series of "damaging" fatuous questions at John McCain, whose wife owns an AB distributorship.

The head of the Washington Bureau "asks":
    John McCain's Straight Talk Express is far less talkative when it comes to beer.

    McCain's campaign is unwilling to directly address questions flowing from InBev's purchase of Anheuser-Busch Cos. in light of his wife, Cindy's, ownership of a large Anheuser-Busch distributorship in Arizona, Hensley and Co.

    — For more than 20 years as a legislator, McCain has abstained from taking positions or voting on measures related to alcohol. As president, would he act on beer-related legislation — or continue to abstain, in effect casting a veto?

    — InBev does business in Cuba, designated by the United States as a state sponsor of terrorism. As a candidate, McCain has been tough on the Cuban government. Will his wife now sell the products of a company that does business in Cuba — or even expand her business to include InBev's other products?

    McCain's campaign is unusually tight-lipped on those questions, and wouldn't say whether the candidate's wife plans to separate herself from Hensley.
The paper's really making an effort here to springboard from a rather touchstone local issue into casting aspersions onto McCain's ethics. Particularly creative is trying to cast his recusing himself from voting on things that would benefit him through his wife's company and complaining about how a parent company would do business in Cuba. We're really stretching here.

I mean, for crying out loud, Barack Obama drives a Chrysler 300, and DaimlerChrysler does business in Cuba. Shouldn't Barack have rented a Ford? And what about his publisher's parent company, guilty of using Nazi slave labor at one point? Will Barack abstain from signing legislation in favor of slavery or Nazis?

I mean, I'm just a crackpot backwater blog making sarcastic remarks about Obama here, but the story and the leading questions in the paper is from a "credible" periodical with a (declining) metropolitan audience.

Forget this story, Post-Dispatch. If you need to try to gig McCain based on a narrative of local concern, investigate why he's tight-lipped about trading for a good middle reliever for the Cardinals. Sure, it's not his job, but you can still blame him for with a couple of bullet points.

(Full disclosure: I am actually a citizen columnist for a sort of sister publication of the Post-Dispatch.)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008
When Is A Lobbyist Not A Lobbyist?
When he agrees with the journalist's point of view:
    A rising number of uninsured patients are going without necessary care and are raising medical costs for those who have insurance coverage, according to a report released Tuesday by the Missouri Foundation for Health.

    The report, "The Significance of Missouri's Uninsured," took several recent studies from health care think tanks and federal agencies, located data relevant to Missouri and added analysis. The report was prepared by the foundation's Cover Missouri project, which began earlier this year.

    "I think there is an increasing understanding among Missourians that we're reaching crisis," said Ryan Barker, a health policy analyst for the nonprofit foundation, which conducts health research and advocacy. "This is a problem not just of a few people but of almost 800,000 Missourians.
Spending money on health care for the poor? Not when there's a study to conduct to bolster allocating tax money to a cause!

When it's a special interest group that the paper likes, it's not lobbying, it's advocating, and the special interest group-funded study isn't suspect, it's news.

I know, it goes without saying. But I'll say it anyway because it's as important to make a mystical chant out of the truth as it is the less-than-true that you want to stick in people's heads.

Wig Sharing Illegal
A photograph accompanying this story in Popular Mechanics about Area 51 illustrates how federal laws will eventually encompass every behavior on the planet (and, given the subject matter of the story, maybe the universe):

Tress passing is illegal

Where is it in the Constitution that Congress can prohibit passing your tresses to someone else? Eh, probably the Interstate Commerce Clause.

(Link seen on Instapundit.)

Monday, July 21, 2008
Williams Goes For Steelman
Michael Williams endorses Steelman.

No doubt he's getting a flurry of hits from the House of Representatives since he quotes the magic Google term "Kenny Hulshof" in his post. I hope you fellows there in Kenny's office are doing official government work on those computers and not campaign work because I'm under the impression that's naughty.

But Washington naughty doesn't count, right?

Sunday, July 20, 2008
Words That Do Not Belong In Country Songs Twofer
Badonkadonk, Donkey Kong, as in Trace Adkins "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk":
    That honkey tonk badonkadonk
    Keepin' perfect rhythm
    Make ya wanna swing along
    Got it goin' on
    Like Donkey Kong
Word to the wise: do not refer to an attractive woman as a large gorilla who kidnaps girls and throws barrels, or any other video game character for that matter. Let's just say that calling a certain beautiful wife "Lara" sort of spoiled the moment, okay?

You can see the video for the Trace Adkins song, along with attendant badonkadonk, here.

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."