Musings from Brian J. Noggle: July 2007

Musings from Brian J. Noggle

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Lock Up Your Surviving Women and Children

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:42 PM 0 comments

Ask Dr. Creepy

Dear Doctor Creepy,
I've always enjoyed the privilege of being the creepy guy at work, which has meant fewer interruptions of a personal nature and less interaction with my annoying co-workers. However, the company has recently hired another fellow whose creepiness apparently is novel enough that I'm more normal by comparison. This means people are starting to stop by my desk to chat and are starting to invite me to lunches and happy hours. How can I regain my creepiness crown and enjoy merciful ostracization?

Signed,
Not Creepiest

Dear Not Creepiest,
As you well know, creepiness can come in a potion form, so look around the new creepiest person's desk to see if it's in a phial on the desk or in the drawers. If not, check the person's lunch in the refrigerator; if it has mayonnaise upon it, know that this often masks a creepiness potion, and you should lick the mayonnaise off of the target's sandwich (reassembling it afterwards, of course, to cover your tracks). This will give you the benefit of the elixir and deprive the target of its power.

Additionally, to improve your creepiness, remember the power of the mystical chant; this focuses your energy and chree, the mystical power of discordance that manifests itself as creepiness. I cannot tell you what mystical phrase works for you, but I'd recommend some simple, rhyming chant, perhaps even a nursery rhyme. You should chant this phrase to yourself whenever you're alone at your desk, in an elevator, or in the men's room (this works especially well for women). Remember, you can generate some kinetic motion from your chakras by rocking slightly as you chant. Try it now!

Finally, remember eye contact is key in communications. That is, you should never make it. Or you should stare. Don't do what the straights do, which is break eye contact every once in a while for comfort and then look into someone's eyes. Overdo it or don't do it, that's my motto.

But if you're going to chant a nursery rhyme, do make the eye contact.

Sincerely,
Dr. Creepy

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:34 AM 1 comments

Monday, July 30, 2007

Robin Carnahan: Ghostwriter

In 2006, Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan's office rejected two conservative-minded state ballot initiatives, but put four liberal-minded initiatives on the ballot.

In 2007, Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan's office might be rewriting a conservative-minded ballot initiative to hinder its passage.

Joseph Stalin allegedly said, "It's not who votes that counts. It's who counts the votes." However, what counts more is who determines what is voted on, and Robin Carnahan is casting enough doubt on the process to merit her removal next election.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:33 AM 0 comments

More Taxes Never Enough

Missouri Department of Transportation, November 10, 2004, after a Missouri Constitutional amendment throws hundreds of millions of dollars into the Missouri Department of Transportation budget:

Funding from passage of Amendment 3 will provide thousands of miles of smooth roads on Missouri's most heavily traveled highways, officials with the Missouri Department of Transportation announced today.

MoDOT unveiled the Smooth Roads Initiative, a plan to provide 2,200 miles of smoother pavement, brighter road markings and other safety improvements in three years. The initiative is the first part of a three-part plan to use Amendment 3 funds to improve the state's highway system. A map specifying the selected roads was included in the announcement.

"Missourians spoke loud and clear when they voted for Amendment 3," said MoDOT Director Pete Rahn. "By an almost four-to-one margin, they said they're not happy with current road conditions, and they want them fixed. Starting today, that's just what we're going to do."

Fast forward (or travel one day at a time like the rest of us) to August, 2007, not even three years later, and learn that despite the best efforts of the government, that new money ain't enough:

Missouri's top transportation official is canvassing the state talking about a "perfect storm" forming over his department.

Road construction costs are spiking, debt payments are ballooning, and at the same time, fuel taxes are generating slightly less cash and the federal highway trust fund is speeding toward a multibillion-dollar deficit.

Wow, who could have seen that coming?

The more you feed the government, the bigger it gets; the bigger it gets, the more it needs to eat. Ah, who cares about economics and an understanding of a bureaucratic nature. THE BEAST IS HUNGRY!

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:03 AM 1 comments

Sunday, July 29, 2007

What He Says

Mark Steyn enumerates flaws in the justice system. I agree with everything he says.

But I don't expect that there will be a groundswell to fix these issues since it's not everyone's grandmother getting railroaded like everyone's grandmother is starving and destitute. At least, that's how Congress characterizes them.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:13 PM 0 comments

Another One Where I Read Them All

RPG Motivational Posters.

It took me two days to review all 414. But I did.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:57 AM 0 comments

Saturday, July 28, 2007

When Buzzwords Collide, Study Firms and Consultants Thrive

Study: Companies apply ROI to Web 2.0, despite softer benefits:

Companies are aiming to apply traditional ROI and business benefit measures to Web 2.0 tools despite the difficulties in measuring the "softer" returns, such as the improved productivity and communication that wikis, blogs and RSS bring to a company, a new survey has found.

There are tangible business benefits, such as a drop in support center calls because of rich Internet applications or a database system replaced by a corporate wiki, according to the Forrester Research Inc. study released this week, but they remain elusive for most IT decision-makers. Instead, most companies point to softer benefits, such as business efficiency and competitive advantage as the true value from Web 2.0 technology, according to the report.

That is, it's hard to use one buzzword metric to justify a buzzword technology/architecture/whatever-the-hell-Web-2.0-is. However, if you're going to define the terms and the very principles of accounting, no wonder you're going to come up with the solution you want (which is: Web 2.0 is worth spending money on, particularly if you're going to spend it on us/the people who commissioned the study).

Hey, I won't knock it; I am in a profession whose benefits are hidden but whose lack is obvious. But I have a hard time selling on benefit/analysis kinds of things MBAs like. I have to try to sell it on do it right, and the customers will come.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:04 AM 0 comments

Book Report: Sweet and Sour by Andrew A. Rooney (1992)

This book collects a number of Andy Rooney's newspaper work from the late 1980s and early 1990s. As they're not based on current events, they're aging well, although a couple of his cast-off ideas have come to pass (a news scanner? Hello, RSS). As you know, I am a fan of the author (see also Years of Minutes and Word for Word).

So I like the author, I read his books, and I get, more and more as I age, where he's coming from.

Unfortunately, the book finishes with a couple of eulogies that Rooney wrote for some long time friends and co-workers, which is a real downer of a way to end a book; coupled with the fact that Tangled Vines ended with eulogies, and suddenly old Brian is feeling a bit of end-of-life melancholy.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:04 AM 0 comments

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Book Report: Tangled Vines edited by Lyn Lifshin (1992)

This book is a collection of poems about the mother/daughter relationship. So I read it at my son.

Honestly, I bought this book at the tail end of our trip to the St. Charles Book Fair this year, when the box of books I was buying grew heavy and from some rows over the lad grew ill-tempered. So I saw a book I thought was by Lyn Lifshin and threw it in the box because my beautiful wife likes her. Heather later pointed out that Lifshin only edited it, but I had it anyway.

So I read it.

After reading a pile of McKuen and the Sonnets of Eve, an anthology was nice. You know that if you don't like a poem, you won't have to suffer through another fifty or so just like it.

And I have to say, you chicks have some odd relationships with your mothers/daughters. The early poems are fraught with envy of the youth of the daughters, some serious dwellings on the pending sexuality, discord, and eventual understanding in the eulogy. I'm glad we males have simpler competitive relationships with only the desire to supplant/prevent supplantation on the throne of Olympus.

A quick enough collection, with enough good pieces, to be worth the time. It's got its share of fluff, though, and some outright poor pieces with too much "I" in them to be good poems.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 4:02 PM 0 comments

Hollywood Moviemakers Lack Business Sense; Instead, They Have "Conscience"

According to the Washington Post, numerous filmmakers are going ahead with anti-war films:

On Sept. 14, Warner Independent Pictures expects to release "In the Valley of Elah," a drama inspired by the Davis murder, written and directed by Paul Haggis, whose "Crash" won the Academy Award for best picture in 2006. The film stars Tommy Lee Jones as a retired veteran who defies Army bureaucrats and local officials in a search for his son’s killers. In one of the movie's defining images, the American flag is flown upside down in the heartland, the signal of extreme distress.

Other coming films also use the damaged Iraq veteran to raise questions about a continuing war. In "Grace Is Gone," directed by James C. Strouse and due in October from the Weinstein Company, John Cusack and two daughters struggle with the loss of a wife and mother who is killed on duty. Kimberly Peirce's "Stop-Loss," set for release in March by Paramount, meanwhile, casts Ryan Phillippe as a veteran who defies an order that would send him back to Iraq.

So Hollywood is going to try to educate us how to think, again. I have a bit of advice, Hollywood: If you're interested in how the heartland (read: your customers) thinks about their country and its military, perhaps some comparisons are in order.

Title	Budget	Box Office	Difference
300	65,000,000	210,614,939	145,614,939
Jarhead	72,000,000	62,658,220	9,341,780

Rambo: First Blood Part II	n/a	150,415,432	n/a
First Blood	15,000,000	47,212,904	32,212,904
Born on the Fourth of July	n/a	70,001,698	n/a

Courage Under Fire	n/a	59,031,057	n/a
Three Kings	75,000,000	60,652,036	14,347,964

I realize this is not a comprehensive survey of box office and really reflects my own taste as much as anything else, but the more, erm, message-driven reeducational sorts of films don't seem to do so well as the patriotic or less nuance-principled films, at least domestically.

But maybe Hollywood isn't making films for us any more; perhaps they're focusing on the foreign markets or on impressing themselves and the Academy.

However, allow me to predict that this story will participate in next year's "Box Office Revenue/Ticket Sales Continue to Decline" story. Followed, no doubt, with industry claims that piracy is causing it instead of disconnect between the moviemakers and movienotgoers.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:51 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

That Must Be Where The Swear Words Are

Dictionary.com has a premium section.

Good luck with that.

- posted by Brian J. @ 2:51 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Complete Misunderstanding of Concept of Failure

Perhaps the complete misunderstanding of the concept of failure is a precursor to actual success. For example, Kelly Clarkson speaks about the new sound on her new album, and the potential consequences of changing her sound on her new album:

It's my favorite thing I've done. It could sell two million or 12 million. I don't care. I just want people to hear it, instead of 100-year-old executives making decisions on what's good for pop radio.

Well, there are other possibilities. But if the floor of your expectations is 2,000,000 records sold, you're more likely to cut an album than someone who realizes you could sell none.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:39 AM 0 comments

Monday, July 23, 2007

Mission: Accomplished

James Joyner looks at a Congressional Budget Office report requested by Congressman John Murtha, D-PA about the feasibility and impact of bringing back the draft, and Joyner wonders:

One wonders, then, what he hoped the CBO study would accomplish.

Well, here it is in Time magazine.

Reports indicate that the government is studying the feasibility of reinstituting the draft. Never mind that, once again, these initiatives/studies/legislative proposals come from Democrats who really only want the word "draft" in the news. The important thing is that the public, helped along by the message-managers in the media, will think this is a George W. Bush / Republican thing.

Behold the beauty of the rhetoric:

So then what about the third, most controversial option — is it time to reinstitute the draft? That option has a certain appeal as the Army fell short of its active-duty recruiting goal for June by about 15%. It is the second consecutive month the service's enlistment effort has slipped as public discontent grows over the war in Iraq.

Bringing back mandatory service has been the refrain of many who want to put the brakes on the Iraq war; if every young man is suddenly a potential grunt on his way to Baghdad, the thinking goes, the war would end rather quickly. It's also an argument made by those who are uneasy that the burden of this war is being unfairly shouldered by the 1.4-million-strong U.S. military and no one else.

The war unfairly shouldered by an all-volunteer military. An option put up by the journalist for a problem that he has inflated (military recruiting not meeting its goals).

I don't think a draft is going to happen; however, what's important to certain elements within our nation is that grandmothers, mothers, and the young fear it enough to elect the "protectors" of youth. Even those same "protectors" are the ones studying and trying to reinstitute the very bogeyman they slay.

- posted by Brian J. @ 5:27 AM 0 comments

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Book Report: The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas (1844, 1999?)

I got this book as a selection in the Readers' Digest World's Best Reading (remember them?) back when I thought having a number of books in handsome hardback editions was a good way to expend that gratuitous money I was making. As I got random books from old college syllabi, I eventually determined that book fairs would provide easier access to the great literature I wanted. Still, I'd seen the movies (The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers), so I thought I'd give the book a try.

It's a pretty good book; I read it faster than Anna Karenina, and I liked it better. It's a swashbuckler; instead of The Russian Question, we get court intrigue. Oddly, both books started out as serials, but The Three Musketeers strikes me as more engaging and entertaining.

I guess watching the films first helped me to get context, much like reading a Cliff Notes will give you an idea of how things will go so you're engaged in getting there.

So I liked the book enough that I'm more impressed with the form, that is, serialized novels that have made their way into our literary canon. Which is a good thing since I have so many Charles Dickens books lying about.

In a stunning turn of events, this book marks the fourth and final book from this list that I had on my to-read shelf that I hadn't yet read. I've read them all this year.

Maybe I need another hobby. Nah.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 11:00 PM 2 comments

Admission

You know, I'm already starting to confuse Destiny's Child with En Vogue.

Somewhere, Beyonce Knowles feels that trembling in her celebrity.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:14 PM 0 comments

Friday, July 20, 2007

Geek Cred- -

Oh, man, I only got 7 of 10 in CNet's Classic Games Quiz.

It's a wonder you're still reading this pathetic blog.

On the other hand, one and a quarter years later, I've finally gotten my lab hooked up and I am posting this from my old Windows 2000 box, the last machine I built by hand. Does that redeem me any? Bueller? Bueller?

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:37 PM 0 comments

Yeah, Well I Want A Giant Killer Armored Battle Suit, Too

At least this fellow is taking steps:

Mech wanted

Advertising for one.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:52 AM 1 comments

Rock Lives On

The backlist sales of music from the 1980s and 1990s trend towards hard rock:

AC/DC's "Back in Black" (1980) last year sold 440,000 copies and has thus far sold 156,000 this year, according to the Nielsen SoundScan catalog charts, which measure how well physical albums older than two years old are selling. (All figures for this article were provided by Nielsen SoundScan.)

Those "Back in Black" numbers would make most contemporary CDs a success. Metallica's self-titled 1991 album is altogether the second-biggest selling album of the Nielsen SoundScan era, which began in 1991. "Metallica" sold 275,000 copies last year.

Bon Jovi's greatest-hits collection "Cross Road" last year sold 324,000 copies, while Guns N' Roses "Appetite for Destruction" (1987) sold 113,000.

Well, yeah.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:46 AM 0 comments

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Yeah. My Other Blog

I haven't made an announcement yet, but you can learn how I feel about software developers at QAHatesYou.com.

- posted by Brian J. @ 3:17 PM 0 comments

City of Milwaukee Moves to Dave & Busters Approach

Columnist Eugene Kane draws our attention to the fact that parking meters in the city of Milwaukee are moving to a credit card based approach:

Instead of a row of mechanical meters, there's one automated machine on each side of the block. You have to note your parking space number - the old meters are replaced by numbered signs - and punch it into the machine.

It's still the same $2 for two hours, but you can pay with either coins or a credit card. In the first few weeks, Floyd said, 40% of parkers have paid by credit card.

For those - like me - who worried that paying by credit card might be more expensive due to transaction fees, Floyd said the City of Milwaukee agreed to pay any additional credit card fees connected with the new meters to promote their use. Floyd said the limit on a two-hour spot remains the same.

Why would the city of Milwaukee go through all of that trouble and pay the credit card companies for the privilege of not having to deal with coins?

Because once you get used to just swiping your card, you'll be less likely to notice or care that suddenly that $2 for 2 hours is $2.50, then $3.25 for two hours because you're not counting physical coins for it.

- posted by Brian J. @ 3:12 PM 1 comments

Outlook Good for US Tourism, Exports

Dollar Falls Against Major Currencies:

The dollar fell to new lows against the euro Wednesday, while the pound soared above $2.05 for the first time in more than a quarter of a century as housing and economic worries battered the U.S. currency.

Well, it's good news for tourism and manufacturing, as US destinations and products are more affordable on the world stage.

Well, unless you're as fickle as the media. In which case, it's all bad, regardless. Dollar goes up, it's bad; dollar goes down, it's bad; dollar stays the same, it's bad.

- posted by Brian J. @ 11:15 AM 1 comments

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Ignore the Lesson, Citizen, and Turn in Your Firearm

911 call failed to stop attack that killed man:

Sheriff's deputies were warned about an increasingly angry confrontation between two groups that led to the death of a 26-year-old Fijian immigrant, but the officers could not find the site, a sheriff's spokesman said Wednesday.

Wolfgang Chargin of Folsom called 911 on July 1 to report that trouble was brewing between a group of Russian-speaking people and a group of Fijian and East Indian immigrants in a picnic area at Lake Natoma near Folsom.

The call came in to the California Highway Patrol and was transferred to the Sacramento County Sheriff's dispatcher about three hours before the fatal confrontation. Satender Singh was punched and hit his head when he fell. He died a few days later after being taken off life support.

We're not talking about a thirty second just out of the nick of time thing here. Three hours after the call the violence occurred.

Now, think about those response times when you're in an emergency. Who's going to respond faster, an emergency call switched between different law enforcement agencies, or your twitchy finger?

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:04 PM 3 comments

LOLCat All the Way to the Bank

I've linked to it before and I read it a couple times a week, but now it's a bona fide Web phenomenon: I Can Has Cheezburger? appears in Business Week:

He saw traffic on the blog, I Can Has Cheezburger, which he runs with his partner, "Tofuburger" (she refuses to disclose her real name) double each month: 375,000 hits in March, 750,000 in April, 1.5 million in May. Cheezburger now gets 500,000 page views a day from between 100,000 and 200,000 unique visitors, according to Nakagawa. The cheapest ad costs $500 for a week. The most expensive goes for nearly $4,000. Nakagawa, an accidental entrepreneur who saw his successful business materialize out of the ether, quit his programming job at the end of May: "It made more sense to do this and see how big it could get."

Yeah, I know the feeling. I've been blogging here for over 4 years, and I've seen my daily traffic go from 10 to 120 visitors a day, and I've made (theoretically) $.08 in money from the Amazon Associates program.

Unfortunately, the proprietor of I Can Has Cheezburger has already found out about how big it's going to get. I hope he's not planning to retire on it, because Internet phenomena come and go.

But still, it's a cool site and it's neat that the fellow can make some scratch from it.

(Link seen on Ann Althouse.)

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:34 PM 2 comments

Yeah, Of Course, I Knew That

In this article, an attorney for Trader Joe's doesn't want to be insulting as he defends the chain's obvious trademark infringement on Papa Pallermo's well-known (to people who listen to Milwaukee Admirals broadcasts or Internetcasts) brand:

As you are aware, Palermo is a prominent city in Sicily, Italy, having a style of pepperoni pizza distinctive to the region.

Erm, yes, of course I knew that. Where's Wikipedia when I need it?

Of course, this settlement will only last until the EU gets its way and prominent European locations are treated as trademarks when it comes to foodstuffs, but hey, you win the ones you can.

- posted by Brian J. @ 3:21 PM 2 comments

Missouri Pours Feed into the Trough for St. Louis Cardinals Owners

Ballpark Village moves closer to scoring state cash:

The Missouri Department of Economic Development recommended Tuesday that the state pitch in about $26.8 million for the development of Ballpark Village, fortifying hopes that the project adjacent to Busch Stadium can be finished by the time St. Louis hosts the Major League All-Star game in 2009.

Always glad to help the millionaires out with my tax dollars.

Keep up the good work, fellows, and perhaps soon you'll have Mayor Slay washing your car for you.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:59 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Commodore 128 as Nature Intended It

Fellow Milwaukeean (and the only current Milwaukeean between the two of us) Triticale knows I collect old computers, and when he recently changed abodes, he told me I could have his old Commodore 128 that had been in his garage forever. Well, I talked to my brother in Milwaukee about picking it up for me, and he did, and on my most recent trip to Wisconsin I retrieved said machine.

When I first tried to boot it, it failed. So I planned to make it a teach-yourself-electronics project to resuscitate it, but all it took was a new fuse in the power supply. So I didn't really learn much at all, but it works beautifully.

And darn the luck, the only television with an RF switch attached to it was in the living room. So behold:

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Oh, my. I was so excited, I hooked the Commodore 1571 disk drive up and I'll be durned if it didn't work right out of the box. So I dug through my archives of my old disks and found some of the programs I had written in the first Bush presidency. As you might know, the Commodore 128 was my first computer, so Basic 7.0 was my first language. And I wrote a number of programs.

Including Adventurers' Guild, a program designed to keep track of my D&D group's equipment and character list. It wasn't truly data-driven, but it did use the Commodore 128's graphics to their ability. I mean, high res graphics, brother:

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The main program was just a routing piece that called a subprogram allowing the user to look at the various and sundry keeps, characters, or stockpiled equipment:

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For example, if you wanted to see the roster, it would go into a subprogram for the roster and you could see all characters past and present that played in the campaign:

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For example, here's my brother's favorite character as seen when the user has chosen to view all:

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And even when I was a junior in high school, I was building help into my applications. Here's one of my first help files:

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When the user logged out, the Commodore went into hi-res graphics for a moment, painting an exit door:

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Then it ended turning the screen to default colors and with a final message from the dungeonmaster:

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Hmm, lightning is misspelled. I'll log a defect on that right away.

I wrote a couple of other things, too, including a DMV quiz program after watching the movie License to Drive over and over as only a kid in the boondocks with only Showtime could.

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The instructions included my address back in the day and welcomed correspondence. Back in those days, that's how you did it without the Internet and e-mail addresses that worked wherever you connected:

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And the Weird Al Wannabe Quiz:

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Of course, after I released them to the wild of the Commodore CG BBSes, I'd expect they were never downloaded. I know no one ever came across with a shareware donation. I did, however, make some money programming, as the high school baseball team's manager wanted a program to keep track of stats. At Stellar Soft, we were happy to gather his requirements, deliver a quality program, and support it with new features as requested for the princely sum of like $50:

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I see that in the instructions, I listed it as a division of Triple N Enterprises:

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Considering that Noggle, Noggle, and Neiderriter was our lawnmowing business, I guess I did that for taxing purposes.

Well, that's my walk down memory lane. What's my point? I don't know; I have 20 years of software development experience? Or perhaps to boast once again that I have more Commodores than Michele?

Aw, who cares, I got to post some pictures of an old computer.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:08 PM 7 comments

To Coin a Phrase Or Not To Coin a Phrase

Crikey, I thought I was going to coin the word hipnoxious, but someone has beat me to it.

Well, there goes my fame and fortune.

- posted by Brian J. @ 12:53 PM 0 comments

Monday, July 16, 2007

TradeWars 2007

China wants to play:

Chinese food inspectors have banned meat products from seven U.S. companies from being imported into their country after finding a range of contamination issues in shipments checked on Saturday, according to China's official news agency Xinhua.

The suspension of meat imports from the American companies -- including Tyson Foods -- comes just weeks after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced it would hold all farm-raised catfish, basa, shrimp, dace and eel shipments arriving from China until they are tested for residues from drugs not approved by the U.S. for use in farm-raised fish.

People are dying from certain Chinese products, but to China, it's a game of oneupmanship.

The title, of course, refers to an ancient BBS game which I had the pleasure of playing in the late 1980s. The game was called TradeWars 2002, and I played it on WWIV Bulletin Board Systems, you damn kids!

- posted by Brian J. @ 12:20 PM 1 comments

Sunday, July 15, 2007

He Retired Too Soon

There were rumors a couple years ago that the Cardinals were going to sign Rickey Henderson to a small contract at the very end of his Major League Baseball career. I wish they had because unlike some of the loudmouths in sports, I get the sense that Rickey Henderson doesn't take himself as seriously as he makes out.

But here are the 25 greatest Rickey Henderson stories.

- posted by Brian J. @ 4:32 PM 0 comments

A Short List

A Brief History of Babes in Jerseys.

- posted by Brian J. @ 4:26 PM 1 comments

Marquette University President Recommends Standing Behind The Fat Guy

After enough time has passed that the Virginia Tech shooting is fading from collective memory, Marquette University President Robert J. Wild, S.J., pens a column for Marquette magazine just in time to frighten the incoming freshmen (except the psycho ones packing heat, of course). In it, he details Marquette's ineffective plan to handle a similar situation, broken down (literally) into phases.

When pandemonium erupts, Marquette will respond thusly:

Phase 1: Meetings:

Well, I guess he only enumerates the highest level of response, which is meetings and communication. But don't worry. Marquette offers other nuggets of safety. I'll tick off a few for you here:

Friendly Public Safety staff:
Electronic surveillance equipment:
Good old fashioned Kumbaya:

Nothing about arming up or allowing legal weapons on campus.

So I guess the hide behind the fat guy is just implied, because once you start inserting the phrase "a suicidal man with a gun" into many of the sentences in his letter to the Marquette community, you realize how silly and, ultimately, ineffective the measures will prove if a Virginia Tech sort of incident erupts in Cudahy Hall.

But the survivors will have access to a crack team of grief counselors, no doubt. Try to live through any rampage if only for that.

- posted by Brian J. @ 3:54 PM 3 comments

Saturday, July 14, 2007

40+ Years Later, It's News?

Apartment fire fatally injures man in 60s

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:24 AM 0 comments

Friday, July 13, 2007

Book Report: Sleeping Beauty by Ross MacDonald (1973)

Ross MacDonald was writing Raymond Chandler novels into my lifetime. How odd.

This book tracks Lew Archer as he looks for a missing woman whom he'd given a ride. He finds a twisted set of intertwined well-to-do families still living under the shadow of crimes committed during the World War II years.

So the reader comes along, sometimes picking up insights because it's a twisted hard-boiled detective mystery that put him ahead of Archer, but the book and the crimes are labyrinth enough that you still won't figure it completely out until the end.

I enjoyed it. I've probably read it before, and might read it again if it's in one of the Archer omnibuses still on my to-read shelves. Hopefully, though, I'll wise up and not buy another copy, but when I'm in a book fair berserker frenzy, I cannot be sure.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:48 AM 0 comments

Thursday, July 12, 2007

This Just In

Israeli security firm reports huge spike in PDF spam:

Israeli security firm Commtouch Software Ltd. is warning of a massive surge in Portable Document Format spam over the past 24 hours.

According to estimates by the company, about 10% to 15% of all spam over the past day or so has been in the form of PDF messages. "Given the fact that these messages are nearly four times bigger than standard spam messages, this increases overall global spam traffic by 30% to 40%," said Rebecca Herson, senior director of marketing at the Israel-based company.

So far, the outbreak has involved 14 billion to 21 billion PDF unsolicited messages and shows no signs of slowing, Herson said.

Lucky me, I must have been on the beta test list, since I've been getting this crap for over a week.

On the other hand, if I am on the spammers' friendlies list, maybe there's time for me to make a killing in Vision Airships before it goes from 1.9 cents a share to 2.8 cents a share.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:36 AM 2 comments

Dual Book Report: All I Need to Know I Learned From My Cat by Suzy Becker (1990) / 101 Uses For A Dead Cat by Simon Bond (1981)

Ladies and gentlemen, I guess I have become a cat person after all.

It didn't start to be this way. In the old days, I was a normal guy, favoring dogs over cats as pets. Of course, for a very long time, we didn't have pets except for Oscar, the snake my mother wussified by watching soap operas while petting it on her lap, and a stream of soon to be dead goldfish. But I related more to my aunt's dogs than her cats in her menagerie. Then, when we ended up outside of an apartment in the projects (Berryland, in Milwaukee, thank you), we got a dog. And then a couple more.

At that time, I appreciated some anti-cat humor.

But then, I moved into my own apartment and got one of those maintenance-free pets (the cat), and she grew on me. Suddenly, we had many in our house by the time we had a house. And the transitory dog, but we got him from the recycling facility unhealthy, and he didn't make it long.

So I seem to have run out of poetry books of short works to read at the boy, so I picked up All I Need To Know I Learned From My Cat since its little bon chats would be easy to put down and pick back up when the boy wandered into and out of the room (or vice versa; when chasing him, I don't know whether I'm coming or going). Well, its simple prose took about 10 minutes to read, and then I was done. I own a cat, so I sympathize with the sentiments. Since I ran out of things to read aloud, I grabbed 101 Uses for a Dead Cat on the next pass of the to-read shelves.

I bought it at the St. Charles Book Fair this year towards the end of the trip, as I wearied from carrying my books and as the boy began to fuss. I grabbed it because I thought it was an early, cheap paperback edition. I later realized its actual paperback cover was missing. How disappointing.

I remember the hubbub in the early 1980s about this book. Animal lovers' organizations (this was before animal rights organizations supplanted them) thought it cruel. I remember my mother owned a yellow shirt no doubt depicting one of the uses from the book or its successors, so Simon Bond had quite a cottage industry going for a time.

However, I didn't find the book funny. I didn't read it at my son, so don't worry about its warping him. It only depicts in cartoons, wordlessly, cat corpses used in a variety of ways. Cruel? I don't know, the books does not indicate how the cats died. So it might just represent judicious uses of an available resource--cats who died naturally. However, the book isn't, you know, funny. It must have been a dark time for humor, coming out of the 1970s.

So I related to the first book and didn't care much for the second book. But I think it took me about 20 minutes total to clear two books from my to-read shelves, so it was time well spent.

But I'll pass on the other books in the Uses for a Dead Cat series, including the Complete and the Omnibus editions which came out in this century.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:18 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Book Report: Listen to the Warm by Rod McKuen (1967)

This was the second collection of poetry from Rod McKuen. It's better than Suspension Bridge, too, but right now I am hard pressed to think of what wouldn't be.

The book comes in three parts; "Listen to the Warm" collects numerous poems relating to the fear of losing one's love and then the actual loss of one's love, so its narrative made the total fair enough even though many of the individual poems don't stand alone well. The second part lapses into what would later delegate McKuen to his low position in my esteem--that is, obscurity, reliance upon locations and "you had to be there" to make sense, and dedication to people I don't know. The third section, a collection of song lyrics, actually holds up very well, as McKuen demonstrates a sense of rhythm and some rhyming that elevate the simple images.

Still, he's no Carl Sandburg or Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:05 PM 0 comments

I'm Not Paying For Waukesha Libraries

But thanks to a creative "funding proposal," some people in communities not served by libraries will get the chance to do so:

A politically charged proposal to create a new funding source for public libraries in Waukesha County is coming back for a new debate.

Aimed at capital costs in the countywide network of 16 libraries, the proposal would raise property taxes in non-library communities to provide tax relief in communities with libraries.

While the county already collects taxes to offset each municipality's cost to operate a library, no such funding mechanism exists to alleviate the costs of building and maintaining the facilities.

Advocates of the new arrangement contend that residents of non-library communities are not paying their fair share for having unrestricted access to any library in the county.

But opponents say the new proposal represents taxation without representation because it would affect people who have no influence over how a municipality spends its capital funding.

Those Wisconsin politicos are awfully clever at creating unaccountable authorities for extracting money from their ~~marks~~ citizens, aren't they?

I was home in Wisconsin this month, and I remembered why I love the state; it's cooler, it's greener, and the air is cleaner.

But any news from Wisconsin government reminds me why I'm not moving back any time soon.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:49 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Bad Idea

This month's Business 2.0 (read it here if you have Adobe Flash Player) has a big story about Burning Man, the annual Woodstock for Generation X-Y. Page 16 has The Big Idea, a quote from Tom Price, the environmental manager for Burning Man, on why companies are eager to promote their wares at Burning Man:

Here's the value proposition: 40,000 of the smartest most socially networked content-generationg people on the planet, whose tolerance for B.S. is negative point-five, all checking out your product.

Yeah, hyping your "hype-free" consumers, among whom the rest of us expect to already find the most smarmy and self-absorbed of the sweet demographic. However, I don't have to mock it. Actual attendees and devotees of the highly-hyped festival are on it:

I for one am still in shock. To say I feel betrayed would be more accurate. The one thing that's drilled into your head from day one is that there is no branding, no marketing, no commercialism, no money at Burning Man. The image of the Man with a suit on is in poor taste, in my opinion. I can't believe the writer (rightly so) describes us as a "tangible business asset." I guess I have until now, refused to admit that the CEO of Burning Man would ever think of me as just a consumer worth only $250. I attend Burning Man for the people, the creativity and the fact that the life on the playa, for me, is far divorced from my daily routine. When I'm there, I feel like I am part of something big. The people I meet and the enthusiasm I throw into the event is what brings me back year after year. But to hear that my efforts, opinions, and education simply makes me a member of some marketing department's dream demographic is disappointing. This new development saddens me.

Sometimes you just have to throw a little water on effigies when they turn into pinatas. Or something.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:05 PM 0 comments

Credit Where Credit's Due

Missouri has a budget surplus:

Missouri could be sitting on a $320 million budget surplus because of higher-than-expected tax revenues and lower-than-expected spending during the recently concluded fiscal year.

Lawmakers had intended to leave about $200 million unspent when passing the state's $21.5 billion operating budget for the 2008 fiscal year, which started July 1.

Funny, it's the heartless Matt Blunt and the Republicans in the legislature that cut the budget, but it's Missouri that has the surplus.

Never fear, though, our elected troughhogs are working to change that:

Unless lawmakers take additional action, that money will remain unspent. But politicians already are proposing ways to use part of that surplus.

I call racism. What do lawmakers have against being in the black?

- posted by Brian J. @ 2:35 PM 0 comments

In a Stunning Turn of Events, Actress Sexes It Up

Helena Bonham Carter shows her range and sexes up a role as a witch:

Bonham Carter says she had a big say in creating her character's voluptuous-but-disheveled look.

"At first they thought, 'Oh, we'll just put her in a sack,'" Bonham Carter said. "But I said, 'There's no way I'm going to wear a sack. I've got to be a sexy witch.'"

Well, color me shocked. After all, she did the same thing to a monkey, for crying out loud. If you're looking for a non-sexy sort of character, you probably don't select Helena Bonham Carter for the role.

- posted by Brian J. @ 2:21 PM 0 comments

Going All Althouse

Worked all night, but it won't last:

Spider web

Hey, buddy? You missed a spot.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:48 AM 1 comments

Monday, July 09, 2007

Sylvester Brown Sees World In Black and White, Again

St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Sylvester Brown weighs in on the Scooter Libby thing by finding a racial angle:

I wonder how Kimberly Denise Jones reacted when she heard about President George W. Bush's recent decision to wipe away the prison sentence of I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

Jones, better known as the diminutive rapper "Lil' Kim," and Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, have something in common. The 4-foot-11 rap star was convicted in 2005 on three counts of perjury and one count of conspiracy. In March, Libby was convicted of four felony counts — perjury, obstruction of justice and making false statements to FBI agents.

Let's compare the whiteys to oranges. Scooter Libby was convicted of perjury for remembering a conversation differently than someone else did, and the testimony was in an investigation that revealed no crime occurred. Li'l Kim, on the other hand:

Lil' Kim was convicted of lying about a shootout between her entourage and a rival rap group outside a Manhattan radio station. Security photos and witnesses contradicted Lil' Kim's claim that she saw nothing.

So the color of the convicted is the only difference in the cases?

I lack nuance, I guess.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:46 PM 0 comments

Because Tourism Is Congress's Problem, Too

Congress looks to boost US tourism:

The United States has lost billions of dollars and an immeasurable amount of good will since Sept. 11, 2001, terrorism attacks nearly six years ago because of a decline in foreign tourists. Several senators are now trying to get the government involved in bringing those visitors back.

The solution: DisneyNation!

Prepare yourselves for SB 555, which mandates that all attractive women wear short skirts and wings and carry fairy wands and all other women wear villainous stepmother/stepsister/witch apparel. All attractive men must wear pirate garbs (open vests only; no shirts allowed!) All other men will be issued Goofy, Mickey, Minnie, or other character costumes. It will be the happiest place on Earth; violation subject to up to fifteen years in prison and/or $250,000 fines.

Doubt it, gentle reader? I have three words for you: interstate commerce clause. There's nothing that Congress cannot do once it sets its mindlessness to it.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:40 PM 2 comments

Book Report: Kill City: The Enforcer #3 by Andrew Sugar (1973)

Wow, you know, I never thought to myself, "Why isn't there any Objectivist pulp fiction?" Even if I had asked that or thought perhaps maybe I should write some, I probably would not equal the achievement of Andrew Sugar's THE ENFORCER series.

I mean, imagine Atlas Shrugged if, instead of a cipher for Ayn Rand's fantasies of the perfect man, John Galt was an author who died somehow and was now living in a series of cloned bodies that deteriorate in 90 days while he works for the John Anryn Institute using his wits, his special power over his own life force (ki), and judo to take on all the Tooheys of the world (sorry, wrong book). But it's pulp fiction with a definite Objectivist theme.

In between bursts of violent action, we have Penthouse letters sex scenes, the most graphic I've seen depicted in any paperbacks I assume were sold at drug stores. I mean, in some pulp, you get the "they're going to have sex" paragraph, "they're having sex" paragraph, and then the "it was good" paragraph. In this book, you get the he did that and she did this to his that and it was good thing. It starts graphic to the N-degree and then goes into the metaphorical several paragraphs later. Conforming with Ayn Rand's theory of sex, I reckon.

Also, we get the speechifying, but in small doses, where the protagonist and his Institute compatriots go on about the power mongers who would rule over men. Nothing comparable to Galt's Speech, though, so the narrative is not impaired too badly.

It's cheap, it's tawdry, and it's definitely a suspense/science fiction pot boiler worthy of its tawdry cover. However, the Objectivist slant adds a touch of camp to it. Maybe real Objectivists wouldn't think so, but they have no sense of humor.

I might have to go find the rest of the series.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:07 AM 0 comments

A Sonnet Series: Wherein Brian Puts Up

In the book review for Sonnets of Eve, I mention being a fan of the sonnet series. Here's one I wrote in the early 1990s when I was a laddie who fancied himself a poet:

A Story

A Prelude

A Heartening

A Resolution

A Proposal

A Rejection

In my defense, I wrote that when I was 21 years old and was under the influence of Millay, Spenser, Shakespeare, and whatnot. I got better, but not much.

Also, note that the preceding is copyright 1993 Brian J. Noggle and cannot be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the author. This means you, Harvey.

I remember in like January 1994 performing the piece at MoKaBe's coffee house back when it was in Kirkwood, Missouri. I had spent the time before the poetry reading playing chess with Michael O'Brian, local poetry slam superstar, and he was falling prey to the Noggle blitz. That is, he thought perhaps there was method in my propensity for putting pieces in danger chasing his pieces; maybe that simple harvesting of my rooks and bishops was an intentional sacrifice in my long term plan. However, he became bored with the game when he probably suspected I didn't know what I was doing and wandered off. That's right, he RESIGNED in the face of the OVERWHELMING Noggle blitz.

At any rate, it was one of my first open mic nights, so I read the pieces from printed sheets of paper. I did, however, enlist a young lady named Amy to perform the final piece in response to the first five sonnets, and she probably did better than I did.

I would later write my first piece geared specifically for performance, "Visions and Revisions: A Prelude for Amy", for the young lady. I performed it for her while sitting in the lobby of the local theatre while we awaited Dancing at Lughnasa. She was so impressed she used me to get the attention of my best friend at the time. Ah, youth.

But I digress. That's what I have to offer for a series of sonnets as a means of comparison to Flora May Johnson Pierce.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:40 AM 0 comments

Book Report: Sonnets of Eve by Flora May (Mae) Johnson Pierce (1973)

As you may recall, gentle reader, I bought this book earlier this year at the Friends of the Webster Groves Library book fair.

It's a collection of 82 sonnets that tell the arc of the Eve story. You know, Adam and Eve, but not limited to the Genesis account of it. Using that myth as a framework, the sonnets explore the archetypal experience of womanhood as each woman discovers good and evil, relates to her husband, and raises her children. All in the pursuit of knowledge and godliness after the fall.

It's definitely a labor of love; the book was probably a short run and misspells the author's name either on the dust jacket (Mae) or on the title page (May). Author has signed the book twice, once with an inscription, and has added some hand-written corrections to the credits on the dustjacket. A note tucked inside the book indicated that its going price on the Internet was $28.00, and that wasn't even signed. Since that book is apparently still on the Internet for the same price, it's probably best that the Friends of Webster Groves Library only priced it $5.00.

Now, what of the sonnets themselves? They were okay; author was certainly familiar with the form. However, I didn't think that most of them stood alone nor offered individual quality that impressed me. As a fan of the sonnet and the sonnet series myself, I appreciate the effort, but not everyone can do Fatal Interview like Millay.

But the book was better than Suspension Bridge.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:39 AM 0 comments

Sunday, July 08, 2007

She Shouldn't Have Mistaken Him For Justin

Aiken apparently questioned after airplane incident:

Former "American Idol" singer Clay Aiken was apparently involved in a disturbance with another passenger Saturday while on an airplane headed to Tulsa International Airport.

Congratulations to Aiken for fleshing out the "rock bottom" portion of his episode of Behind the Music.

- posted by Brian J. @ 2:48 PM 0 comments

I'm Steve Jobs, Bitch!

Apple issues battery program for iPhone: Replacements cost $79, $6.95 shipping, three business days:

The iPhone's battery is apparently soldered on inside the device and cannot be swapped out by the owner like most other cell phones.

Apple spokeswoman Jennifer Hakes said Thursday the company posted the battery replacement details on its Web site last Friday after the product went on sale.

Users would have to submit their iPhone to Apple for battery service. The service will cost users $79, plus $6.95 for shipping, and will take three business days.

That's rich. Kinda like their overlord, come to think of it.

Don't people gather with pitchforks and torches and DoJ attorneys outside the walls of Castle Redmond for this sort of thing?

(More on Kim du Toit and Tamara K.)

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:58 AM 0 comments

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Rhetorical Question

If pro-life advocates assert that life begins at conception, how come they never include that period when discussing someone's age?

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:58 PM 0 comments

Book Report: Armageddon 2419: The Seminal "Buck Rogers" Novel by Philip Francis Nowlan (1962, 1978)

In 2004, I read Buck Rogers: A Life in the Future, a Buck Rogers recasting that hyped TSR's new roleplaying game of that name. It reprinted the first part of the two short stories that led to the Buck Rogers comic strip, which led to the film serials, which led to the Gil Gerard television series, and so on, and so on.

This book collects the first two short stories that led to the whole shebang in their almost pure 1928/1929 glory (Spider Robinson "updated" this edition, which explains why characters written before the Great Depression talk directly about nuclear weapons and television). As such, World War I veteran Anthony (not William or "Buck" in the stories themselves) Rogers falls into a cavern with suspension gases in them, and he's awakened in 2419, when the wars involving Europe and America have left them spent and let the Asians, particularly the Mongolian Chinese known as the Han, take over the planet and send the natives running for cover. Five hundred years later, about the time Rogers wakes up, the Americans are rising up in clan-like units to stand up to the evil Hans, as they are known in this book.

Americans live in the woods, close to the land, and have communal property. The Hans rule the skies and use technologies to keep the natives scattered, but are decadent and cushy. So you could really read into it different sorts of characterizations and messages depending upon whether you think America works best when America says, "Communism, yes!" or whatnot.

Regardless, the book is a simple romp typical of magazine-based pulp fiction of the era and perhaps even of today. A quick read that was fun. Probably better than Buck Rogers: A Life in the Future.

Also, those Hans? Not really Chinese. Instead, an epilogue informs us that they were actually aliens who landed in China and adapted themselves to look like the Chinese. I have to wonder if this is more of Spider Robinson's "updating," since in 1928 it was still cool to publicly fear and malign the Other.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:20 AM 0 comments

No Stunning Revelations on Grocery Store Checkout Scales, Either

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel gets its outrage on when it finds that sometimes complex weighing mechanisms falter and don't weigh precisely, and when these fail between inspections, they deliver faulty measurements to the benefit or detriment of consumers. But the Journal-Sentinel goes nuts on it since it can get a WATCHDOG REPORT out of a hot-button contemporary issue like gas:

When it comes to buying gas in Wisconsin, you don't always get what you pay for.

A Journal Sentinel

analysis of nearly 60,000 gas pump inspections shows that more than 2,000 pumps delivered a different amount of fuel than the meter registered in the past two years.

Yeah, well. That's about a 3.3% failure rate. Thanks, Journal-Sentinel, for your analysis that probably meant you read a department of weights and measures report.

The Journal-Sentinel piece is long on its own flabbergasted outrage, but doesn't really have anything but that. What's the solution? Twice a year inspections by the official standards keepers? Mandating the gas stations and their evil overlords Big Oil invent failure-proof pumps? No answer needed--only interviews with outraged consumers.

A more compelling story would be an indictment of how differences in air pressure and temperature affect the actual gas in a gallon. However, understanding Boyle's Law and explaining it to daily newspaper readers is beyond the ken of contemporary journalists; reading summary tables in government reports and conducting man-on-the-street interviews, however, remains in the sweet spot of the modern journalist skill set.

No word yet on whether Journal-Sentinel WATCHDOGS will figure out that most times when you buy meat at the grocery store, you're paying for the tray and the cellophane wrap if the meat clerk forgets to or out of haste omits to use the pricing scale's tare feature. But that's not an attack on BIG OIL, and those grocery stores still advertise with the local daily.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:36 AM 2 comments

Deanna Vinson Rethinks Her Assertions

In their divorce proceedings, in which Deanna Vinson got custody of American Equity Mortgage and Ray Vinson retained rights to his, erm, unique radio voice ("Ninety-nine, ninety nine!"), the former Mrs. Vinson and her attorneys asserted that her stewardship of the company, not the, erm, uniqueness of the ubiquitous pitchman, were responsible for the company's success and millions of dollars in income.

Maybe hindsight is 20/20:

American Equity Mortgage is closing its offices in seven markets due to a slowing in the home mortgage business, President Deanna Daughhetee confirmed Friday.

Meanwhile ex-husband Ray has set up shop with his own mortgage group and his curtain-of-fire radio commercials with a similar phone number that ends in 9999.

Maybe Ms. Daughhetee can halt the decline by snapping up Granny from Homestead Financial when she becomes an unrestricted free agent and putting her onto the air on American Equity Mortgage's behalf. If Garth Snow doesn't snap her up to shore up the Islanders' blueline first.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:28 AM 0 comments

Developers Lose Some, Lose Some

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is beside itself as land developers lose some in Centene's giving up its attempt to build a new company headquarters by condemning properties in that slum of Clayton. In this case, the Post-Dispatch quotes those who worry about the impact the rule of law and right to private property will have on the region:

Jim Koman, president of Koman Properties, a Clayton-based development company, said developers are watching the situation closely "to figure out if Centene was still interested in Clayton or would pursue other markets.

"My personal hope and wish is that Centene stays within the metro area so at least the region will retain the jobs," Koman said. "All businesses and developers look towards pro-development communities and municipalities, no matter where they are located."

That implies that the region might lose jobs because the government wouldn't let the company strongarm other property owners out of their rightful property at Centene's behest.

On the other hand, the Post-Dispatch highlights a development setback for a property owner that acquired properties by buying them from their owners:

Only one developer would have qualified for the tax credit: Paul McKee, who has amassed large parcels of vacant property in north St. Louis.

Remember McKee? The Post-Dispatch apparently decided it couldn't abide this Republican land accumulator in the city. Hey, I think Blunt did the right thing in vetoing tax credits for developers who probably have good enough cash flow and credit to start with (or they should be in another business).

But the St. Louis Post-Dispatch doesn't have a consistent opinion on land development companies in their quest for government handouts; it seems as though it prefers those developers who forcibly seize lands through eminent domain "for the public good" over those developers who buy lands secretively for their own profit.

And that makes me see red, if you know what I'm saying.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:17 AM 0 comments

Friday, July 06, 2007

Bringing Back Memories, Therapy Sessions

A short video from Summerfest shows people dancing; my goodness, I remember cutting a picnic table or two in my time. My friend Doug and I were unabashed in our appreciation of the music, much to the amusement of passersby and chagrin of those with whom we came. It probably also explains why we were unable to impress women we saw at Summerfest.

Why, I once went to Summerfest alone and danced on a table by myself. That shows the depths of....well, something.

I haven't been to Summerfest in a decade, but watching the video takes me there again.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:22 PM 0 comments

Prosecutors Decide Alleged Murdered Didn't Kill Victims Twice

Good news of a sort for this fellow; prosecutors are dropping half of the charges:

Prosecutors on Thursday dropped four of eight first-degree murder counts against a suburban Chicago man accused of killing his wife and three children, saying they were focusing their case.

So now the first degree murder counts line up with the actual number of victims. Some common sense prevails at the D.A.'s office.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:15 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Mention Pretention

You know, I don't call it Fourth of July; I call it Independence Day as diligently as I call Autumn what others term Fall.

In my own mind, it makes me sound more formal.

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:44 PM 0 comments

Those In The Software Quality Industry Snicker At Headline

Disapppointing quality results can spur real change:

Yes, do tell us about quality.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:38 AM 0 comments

Monday, July 02, 2007

Book Report: Candyland by Evan Hunter/Ed McBain (2001)

Okay, it's a gimmick book; the first half is written by Evan Hunter in a more literary, explore the character style, and the second half is a police procedural in the Ed McBain style. That's the most notable thing about this book's universe; the second most notable thing is that the book is set in New York in late July, 1999 (the death of John F. Kennedy, Jr., places the dates exactly), so the book makes no reference to the events of two years later (and books set since make reference surely). Thirdly, the book is told in the present tense, a bit of a departure. There, the gimmicks and unusual things are noted duly early.

Of course, I don't have to explain the first gimmick to you, gentle reader, because you know that Evan Hunter and Ed McBain are the same fellow. Regardless of the authors' photograph on the back that depicts the two fellows standing side by side.

The first half of the book depicts a rather randy architect in New York who's scheduled to return to a drab, sexless life with his long-term wife in Los Angeles in the morning. On his last night in New York, the, hem, gentleman tries to call an architecture student with whom he's dallied and has had phone sex, tries to pick up a woman (an attempted recovering rape victim) in the hotel bar, tries to call a phone sex line, and then tries to achieve satisfaction at a "massage parlor" to ill results. Brothers and sisters, although certain people (my mother-in-law particularly, whom I impressed upon first meeting by reciting Eliot and not McBain) have called this author "smutty," but I've disagreed--but after reading the Evan Hunter part of the book, I felt like I needed a shower. The only other Evan Hunter book I've read is Last Summer, which had me feeling for the protagonist until such time as I said, "Ew."

But then the second half of the book starts with detectives in NYC investigating the homicide of a hooker, and I hoped it wouldn't be the sad sack from the first half of the book. The second half follows a trio of detectives from Homicide, Vice, and the Special Victims unit looking into the murder. The main character is a woman on the Special Victims unit (the Rape squad), and the section follows her one day crusade to find this perp while she handles her divorce and relates to her co-workers. McBain takes a leap in using a female point-of-view, but he does well as far as I can tell (after all, I'm a male).

An interesting exercise; of course, we all bought it because it's McBain. And not a bad departure from his norm (like Another Part of the City). McBain is like John D. MacDonald on my pantheon of writers; regardless of what they wrote, I will read it, for I expect it to be good.

Books mentioned in this review:

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:52 PM 3 comments

If I'd Known the Lieutenant Governor Was Coming, I Would Have Straightened Up

MfBJN is on the blogroll at Team Kinder, named for the Missouri Lieutenant Governor.

To be frank, I've never heard of him, which I assume means he's a more efficient version of Dick Cheney, the older statesman who controls the diminutive, younger figurehead in the executive office.

Because modern commentary would have me know that government works in the hands of Republicans.

- posted by Brian J. @ 2:22 PM 0 comments

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."

Endorsements
"I will."
          Heather L. Igert,
          angelweave.mu.nu

"Genuis."
          Neil Steinberg,
          Chicago Sun-Times

"Some wanker."
           Kim du Toit,
          on the Noggle Library.

"Brian J. Noggle apparently forgot that the proper design for a tin foil beanie calls for the shiny side out."
          Robb Allen,
           Sharp as a Marble.

"I'm weeping openly right now. Thanks for hurting my feelings, pinhead."
          Bob Rybarcyzk,
          St. Louis Post-Dispatch