Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Friday, March 07, 2008
A Case for Gay Marriage If only gay marriage were legal, sadistic lesbians wouldn't have to kill to prove their love for one another. (Link seen on Ace of Spades HQ.) Limited By Typing Speed, Spelling You know who will do well here? My beautiful wife, who works in international shipping software and can type over 100 wpm. Tip: Just Say Hi has also recognized Kosovo. Also, some US possessions/protectorates (Guam) appear as separate countries. (Link seen on The Anchoress.) Faulty Random Number Generator Hidden in this story, which has a positive result of finding a fugitive murder, we have this disingenuous nugget:
Otherwise, it sounds a little totalitarian, does it not? Stay in Eureka, and the police will know who you are. Thursday, March 06, 2008
Making Britain Satire-Proof You know how some of us like to make a little ad absurdum fun about the nanny state bubble-wrapping everything for the safety of its Britain is removing satire from our repertoire:
Around one in ten careless Brits has suffered a "walk 'n text" street injury in the past year through collisions with lampposts, bins and other pedestrians. History repeats itself, the first time as satire, and the second time as just good sense according to British government officials. Coming soon: buddy bumpers to keep you out of the street. (Link seen on Outside the Beltway.) Wednesday, March 05, 2008
A Decade Later You can go to AltaVista.com and conduct a Web search? How quaint. Of course, 10 years ago, I used AltaVista and Dogpile. So it's not like I've never AltaVistaed or Dogpiled anyone. The Difference Between Brian J. and Good Parenting, Volume 19 Sure, most parents teach their toddlers to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". However, very few do so by making the toddlers watch Dirty Harry over and over again until they get the song right. Tuesday, March 04, 2008
America Works Best When We Say Unions, Make Our Military Decisions For Us Perhaps that wouldn't be such a winning slogan, but the Boeing machinist union wants to overturn the decision making apparatus of the United States Air Force:
Be hell of a thing if our Air Force planes couldn't reach their targets because the Air Force had tankers on back order because machinist strikes pushed their delivery dates, ainna? Guess that's not going to happen unless our elected betters in Congress will it. Sad Day for a Wisconsin Boy Brett Favre Set to Retire After 17 Years. Report: Gary Gygax, 'Father of D&D,' Dies at 69. Seriously. What's left for a Wisconsin boy? Governor Doyle and high tax rates? The Aaron "Mr. Glass" Rodgers era in Packers football? You know, I once met Gary Gygax when GenCon was still in Milwaukee, as nature intended it. It was after TSR sued Game Designers Workshop into oblivion for including trademarked properties like elves and hit rolls into the Dangerous Journeys system. Gygax looked like an old biker and regaled me and a couple of friends with some stories about another system he was developing and some weird role-playing anecdote about carnivorous trees. I never met Brett Favre, though, and I actually foolishly turned down a chance to see him play the last year. However, I think that the conversations would have been similar. Brian Needs Google Hits In case anyone wants to know, if you're about 5'11" and a size 5/6, your inseam could be about 33". Difference in your trunk vs. leg length could make for variation. Apparently, someone does want to know, so I asked my sainted mother, who has those dimensions. Also, please note that my sainted mother wouldn't mind a whole box of Ho-Hos, if you're sharing, but they nor the copious amounts of junk food she already consumes seem to alter her basic mathematics. Fortunately, I inherited something of that metabolism myself. Monday, March 03, 2008
Sunshine Go Away Today In a stunning turn of events, governments have thought to use the Kirkwood shooting as an excuse to cloak themselves in greater "security" by persecuting dissident citizens and offering a show of force to intimidate citizens. After Kirkwood shootings, gadlies [sic] under the microscope:
Often called gadflies, they see themselves as champions of freedom and watchdogs of local government. But post-Kirkwood, a conflict has arisen between security and First Amendment rights. Where these critics may once have been seen as annoying, if sometimes right, some are now being looked at as possible threats. Some cities have moved to install metal detectors and to have armed officers on hand. At least one, Pine Lawn, has voted to bar anyone it deems disruptive from public meetings. No, it's racial. Kumbaya, have some harmony-building meetings, and then take exactly the wrong steps. Because silencing the disenfranchised faster and moving into micro-sized totalitarian city states more quickly isn't going to ensure safety. Limiting the government's influence and not running cities like fuedal fiefdoms might. Once You Start Nannying Once an organization finds success in its push to rule citizens' lives (namely, through regulating corporations and the citizens they serve), that organization often likes to turn its prowess at ruling to other endeavors. Another case in point:
There's the minivan sporting a tattoo parlor bumper sticker and a miniature San Francisco football jersey suctioned to a window of a red Cougar with a scuffed-up driver's side. They all have one thing in common: Their owners didn't pay off a car title loan, and now they're getting ready for auction. For years payday lenders have been the bad guy in the predatory lending debate while their close cousin, car title lenders, have cruised along unnoticed - and perhaps more disturbing for some - unregulated in several states. Many efforts to regulate the industry have failed as the lenders pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into legislative campaigns. Sunday, March 02, 2008
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To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
"I will." Heather L. Igert, angelweave.mu.nu "Genuis." Neil Steinberg, Chicago Sun-Times "Some wanker." Kim du Toit, on the Noggle Library. "Brian J. Noggle apparently forgot that the proper design for a tin foil beanie calls for the shiny side out." Robb Allen, Sharp as a Marble. "I'm weeping openly right now. Thanks for hurting my feelings, pinhead." Bob Rybarcyzk, St. Louis Post-Dispatch Instapundit Protein Wisdom Ace of Spades HQ Wizbang! Outside the Beltway Robert B. 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