Thursday, November 02, 2006
Freelancing for John Kerry
William Squire posted some ghostwritten jokes for John Kerry, who recently bombed with a "botched joke":
    You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.
Whereas I do not think Mr. Squire was entirely ingenuous (or whatever the opposite of disingenuous is), I wholly sincerely offer up my own services as a humorist for Mr. Kerry. Here, then, are my sample jokes:
    Why did the uneducated soldier fiddle with his car radio's FM dial?
    Because it was stuck on 96.7 Z-Rock, and he was looking for some of that hillbilly music they listen to in the Midwest.

    Why did the firemen need the jaws of life for the uneducated soldier who was fiddling with his car radio's FM dial?
    Because he lost control of his vehicle, rolled it down an enbankment, and was stuck in his IROC.

    Why didn't the uneducated, not trying to be smart soldier give Senator Kerry the ascot the Massachussetan asked for?
    The uneducated soldier didn't know it was stuck on the tie rack!
See, I'm marginally more amusing than the senator's current writers.

I'm available for low, low rates!

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."