Musings from Brian J. Noggle: Word Problem

Word Problem

If John is as dumb as a sack of hammers, and if Mary is as dumb as a three-quarters-full sack of hammers, who is smarter?

Arithematically, we might express it this way:

JohnIQ = 1s(h)
MaryIQ = .75s(h)

So on the surface, it would look obvious that John is smarter than Mary, but this assumes that the intelligence factor of multiple hammers is measurable in a number greater than 1. However, if each individual hammer actually reduces intelligence, that is, each individual hammer's contribution to overall intelligence actually detracts from overall intelligence, in which case Mary, by having her intelligence diminished by a smaller number of hammers in the sack, would have the higher intelligence.

Man, I should have taken more, that is to say "any," mathematics in college. However, as I do hold a degree in English, I can identify quickly within the word problem the patriarchy's obvious oppression of Mary, wherein she's only worth three quarters of the hammers of an equivalent male. This realization provides me with enough indignation to determine that to answer this word problem is to support the capitalists that hold Mary down. Also, I need to determine whether the hammers within the sack represent the proletariat and whether, by keeping them in the sack, both John and Mary (Biblical names--ergo Christians) are actually oppressors, but that's another word problem of its own....

UPDATE: For my gentle European and Canadian readers working on this problem, I'd like to point out that 1 sack of hammers (SoH) is equal to 2.54 boxes of rocks (BoR), the metric measurement.

- posted by Brian J. @ 1:48 PM