Wednesday, April 06, 2005
 
You Might Be a Felon If....

(Inspired by this book and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy....)

  • If you have ever poured a cleaning agent or solvent down your drain without first consulting the Material Safety Data Sheet and EPA regulations....you might be a felon.

  • If you have ever told a law enforcement official that you have committed a crime, even if you were joking or being a smart ass.....you might be a felon.

  • If you have ever put a sack of potting soil in a flowerbed before checking with the Army Corps of Engineers to find out if you're on an officially-designated wetland.....you might be a felon.

  • If you have ever had trouble with a Federal form so you call their helpline and they tell you which box to check and you turn it in, but the helpline people were wrong....you might be a felon.

  • If you are a doctor and your receptionist's 1s look too much like 7s to a Medicare data entry clerk.....you might be a felon.

  • If you have ever displayed a pellet or BB gun in such a fashion that someone can see it.....you might be a felon.
If only it were a comedy routine and not the law of the land.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:36 PM
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