Monday, April 11, 2005
 
Spot the Absurdity

No, I don't mean the obvious absurdity of Illinois distributing scratch 'n' sniff cards so authoritarian figures can reference the scent of methamphetamine ingredients. No, look beyond it and find more subtle absurdity in the following:
    The cards, when scratched, would emit the odor of anhydrous ammonia, an ingredient used in the methamphetamine production process that smells distinctively like cat urine. They would be distributed, by the Illinois State Police and the Board of Education, to teachers, school employees and day-care center employees to help them identify children who have been exposed to meth, the bill says.

    "Most people haven't smelled meth," said state Rep. Michael P. McAuliffe, R-Chicago, who introduced the bill in late February, adding, "Not too many people know about this drug, and it's everywhere."

    McAuliffe said last week that despite the rapid growth in meth use and production in Illinois, few people can detect the signs of addiction or exposure, particularly exposure to children. Many children, McAuliffe explained, live in homes where meth is produced or smoked and absorb the smell in their hair, skin and clothes.

    "The teacher might say, 'How many cats do you have at home?'" McAuliffe demonstrated. "The student could say, 'We don't have any cats.'"
Which is more patently nuts?
  • The paradox of this statement: "Not too many people know about this drug, and it's everywhere."

  • The thought of a child's teacher sniffing the child's hair and, if the teacher thinks the hair smells like this card, the authorities launch a full drug enforcement investigation, possibly culminating in no-knock raids with weapons out.

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:43 AM
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