Tuesday, March 15, 2005
More Separate But Equal To Destroy

Now that a judge in San Francisco has ruled that banning gay marriage invokes the magickal separate but unequal curse, I humbly suggest some other institutions which could use a judicial takedown for promoting separateness but equalness:
  • Juvenile courts, which provide separate justice for youths which should have equal weight to adult punishment somehow.

  • The Chinese New Year, which presents a separate numbering system and celebration that's almost like the Gregorian celebration.

  • State governments, which present different laws based on geographic location. All laws should be standard across the Fatherland.

  • Gender-restricted bathrooms, which although numerous laws have mandated that facilities offer equal numbers of pots to piss in for men and women, women's bathrooms often have lines out the door. Certainly, separate but unequal; oyez, oyez, all bathrooms shalt be unisex or boththesexes from this day forward throughout the land!

  • Salary caps in professional sports, which enforce parity on sports teams, but a parity of pay, not of skill or performance.

  • Political news coverage, which has proven to be three times friendlier to Kerry than George W. Bush. So it must be eliminated as it's separate and unequal. Or made separate and equal under the divine guidance of the judiciary.

Unleash your inner Diana Moon Glampers!

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."