Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Brian Doesn't Cry Like a Baby

A reminiscience spurred by Richard Roeper's column today:
    Funny you should mention that, John. I, too, have noticed these bullet hole stickers. They're not nearly as widespread as "Support Our Troops" ribbons, but they're definitely gaining in popularity. You can buy stickers that will make it look like your fender, trunk or even your windows have been pierced with single bullet holes or multiple bullet holes. I've also seen the stickers on motorcycle helmets, as if the wearer is saying, "I've been shot!"

    From one Web site hawking the stickers: "Imagine your friend spotting a few bullet holes on his new car after a long day at work; he may just cry like a baby."
Hell, I've lived in the city. I don't need simulation. On February 20, 1994, I came out from eight hours of slinging produce to find a couple of nice pass throughs between the driver side window and rear passenger window of my father's car where a couple of small caliber rounds had passed through the car. I drove home with a cold bracing wind blowing through the pebbled windows and got the dual pleasure of dealing with my stepmother's misplaced wrath and filing a police report. On my twenty-second birthday. Not the height of hillarity, but I didn't cry like a baby.

To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."