Sunday, December 12, 2004
 
Alternate Theory

You know, much has been made about the discovery that Viktor Yushchenko, Ukrainian politician and soon-to-be president elect, has been disfigured by a large amount of dioxin introduced to his body. Most people suspect the Russians or political rivals, but I've used Occam's Cosmetological Scalpel to come to a different conclusion.

You know, perhaps he's studied American politics and has learned that certain American politicians have injected deadly poisons used as devices in 1970s and 1980s suspense novels and movies, such as botulism toxin, directly into their bodies in vain and, well, vain efforts to make themselves more appealing to the public.

Unfortunately, because the Ukraine is not Massachusetts or Beverly Hills, Yushchenko got the dioxin and not the botulism.

It's just a crackpot theory, so it might be wrong. But that's what they want you to think.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:16 PM
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To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."