Sunday, September 12, 2004
 
Tales from Pseudo-Bachelorhood Tape Delayed Live Blogging

As my beautiful wife has been riding the MS 150 this week, that's left me alone in the house with beer and DVDs. Allow me, then, to dramatically recreate the situation.




Friday night, 8:15 pm.
DVD: Master and Commander: Far Side of the World


Hey! That doctor guy kinda looks like Paul Bettany.




Friday night, 8:35 pm.
DVD: Master and Commander: Far Side of the World


Hey, that doctor guy is Paul Bettany.


Friday night, 11:12 pm.
DVD: North by Northwest


Title credits open on New York City, 1949. That's 55 years ago. Drop someone in modern business dress in it and they wouldn't look too out of place and could get along fairly well, no matter what lessons Pleasantville might have you believe.


Friday night, 11:23 pm.
DVD: North by Northwest


Hey, check out the Thornhill library; see those Classics Club volumes on the wall to the right, shoulder height? I collect those now, and I've got more than Thornhill does.


Friday night, 11:26 pm.
DVD: North by Northwest


Hmm, if I'm barely conscious and find myself behind the wheel of a speeding car, I think I could still find the brakes. Unless, of course, is was like a Model A with a hand brake or something.


Friday night, 11:32 pm.
DVD: North by Northwest


I still prefer Gary Cooper over Cary Grant. But that's probably because I saw him in The Fountainhead first, and I'm a hopelessly philosopharian idealogue whose ongoign experience is filtered through the paper of Ayn Rand.


Friday night, 12:40 am.
DVD: North by Northwest


Man, it's a business casual world; Cary Grant's in the hospital, and The Professor brings him slacks, a dress shirt, and dress shoes. Cary Grant goes housebreaking and rock climbing in those shoes. Crikey, my feet hurt just watching it.


Friday night, 12:59 am.
DVD: Lethal Weapon IV


Second tanker truck exploding tonight. First one hit by biplane. Second one by flying man. Funny, the bad guy in the beginning has a full automatic, but the group uses the words "Assault Weapon."




Friday night, 1:10 am.
DVD: Lethal Weapon IV


The four Lethal Weapon movies, completed over eleven years, have a remarkable internal structure; they retain much of the same cast throughout for even the bit parts, such as the police psychologist and Captain Murphy, not to mention the Murtaugh kids. They user similar jokes and everyone ages. I like it.




Friday night, 1:13 am.
DVD: Lethal Weapon IV


Hey, that's the dude from Office Space as the INS agent. Can he ever play a straight role again?


Friday night, 1:15 am.
DVD: Lethal Weapon IV


Let's not forget that Jet Li plays a bad guy in this one. Like Chuck Norris, I'm glad he's been a good guy in his later films.




Friday night, 3:05 am.
DVD: UHF


True story: in 1989, I did some manual labor for a bar owner in Milwaukee, and for 3 days of work, I got $60. That's three whole twenties, brother, and considering I was subsisting throughout high school on what I could earn by my wits and the dollar a day in lunch money I saved by not eating lunch, $60 was a bunch. So I had the opportunity to pick up a forty-five rpm single of M/A/R/R/S's "Pump Up The Volume" or seeing UHF in the theater with my last $10 of the wad. I took the record because I figured UHF would be in the theaters for a while. I was wrong.

UHF was also the first, and as far as I can remember, only movie I purchased on Pay-Per-View.

It was also one of the first DVDs we bought, and it's sat in the queue for a couple of years, but I cracked it open.

It featured Victoria Jackson at the height of her fame and Fran Drescher and Michael Richards before they were famous (which seems to have ended now), andGeneral Hospital's Luke.

And is it me, or does Weird Al just look wrong without the glasses nowadays?


Friday night, 5:05 am.

Cripes, I've got to get to bed.


Saturday, 12:00 pm.

I wish I could set the alarm for later, but I've got a family reunion.




Saturday, 8:04 pm.

Go, Canada! If the United States can't win the World Cup, at least it can be our plucky mascot country.

They used to be sidekicks, but they've stopped kicking.




Well, that's what I did this weekend. I'd enumerate what I ate, but it wasn't enough and it wasn't healthy. I'd enumerate what I drank, but this post is long and boring enough as it is, and I've got to whirl dervishly to clean this joint up before the hot woman arrives because chicks dig clean domiciles. Especially their own.


 
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."