Emancipations from Proclamations

Thanks to a pinko reader for sending us an enlightening e-mail:

You sure you wanna have a religous nut in the white house?

http://www.snopes.com/religion/jesusday.htm

Follow the link to the Snopes page, and you'll find that George W. Bush, as governor of the state of Texas, issued a proclamation that made June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas. This, I guess, is supposed to illustrate that George W. Bush is a religious zealot, and that by electing a person who sincerely espouses a religion to elective office, we can expect to get someone who acts according to higher ideals. You know, convictions. So be it.

But tying Bush to this single proclamation is a red herring and not really an argument in that favor. George W. Bush issued numerous proclamations when he was governor; that's what governors do, at least it's the least harmful thing governors do. Personally, I'd rather they issue useless proclamations every day instead of politicking and spending tax money. But what do I know? I am just a voter in the minority.

Here's a running tally of other groups to whom George Bush is beholden, as illuminated by the proclamations he issued:

The Scottish Clans: Bush declared November 30 the Day of the Scots in 1997, 1998, 1999, and 2000. That's four proclamations. It's not a cabal of Jews running the world. It's a clan of Scotsmen! (Source: Texas Scottish Heritage Society.)
The Geologists: Bush declared October 8-14, 2000, as Earth Science Week. Richard Clarke couldn't know, but even before Bush became president, he drew up papers and contingency plans about a rock. (Source: Texas Earth Science Week Website.)
Detroit Automakers: Bush declared December 7, 1941, to be Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day in an attempt to remind Americans that those people who build reliable cars once attacked our country. Buy American! (Source: Pearl Harbor Survivors Association Rio Grande Valley of Texas Chapter 11.)
His Loyal Armed Forces: Bush proclaimed November 5-11. 2000, as Veterans Week to ensure that the only leg of the techno-military-industrial complex that would survive his ~~internal purges~~ outsourcing would remain loyal to him. (Source: The Welcome Home Day Foundation.)
Most insidiously, The French (Teachers): Apparently, George W. Bush signed a proclamation or two as governor of Texas and has delivered at least two messages in support of National French Week. (Source: American Association of Teachers of French.)

So you can see that the Governor's mansion, and probably the White House, have a whole wing of highly-paid professionals who do nothing for 30 hours a week but to turn out these proclamations for someone to stamp the executive's signature on. To call Bush a religious nut or to think that the proclamation for Jesus Day is out of the ordinary, establishing a state church which will begin pogroms against other faiths or to even indicate that there's a morality above the Government is Good creed is asininine. (Sorry, that particular word is a little like banana to me.)

If you want to elevate one of these trivialities as a wedge issue, why not start printing the bumper stickers that say:

President Bush:
Weak on French Week, Weak on Terror

To be honest, there's only one trivial ceremonial issue that could make me vote for someone other than Bush this election. As a meat eater and a proponent of capital punishment, I am greatly bothered that this president, like his predecessors, pardons the damn turkey every Thanksgiving. It sends a bad message to America, that it's bad to kill something to eat, and that you can pardon animals like you pardon criminals. You want to know who I will vote for instead of Bush?

I will vote for the candidate who promises to whack the turkey, particularly if he (or she) will do it himself (herself) with a hatchet and a tree stump. I will even send money to a candidate who plucks the turkey and eats it himself. That's an American president. Also, I like turkey.

- posted by Brian J. @ 5:41 PM

President Bush: Weak on French Week, Weak on Terror

President Bush:
Weak on French Week, Weak on Terror