Thursday, February 12, 2004
 
A Voice of Authority

The Meatriarchy Guy, who's Canadian (not that there's anything wrong with that), has some ideas about how to improve hockey:
    1 Eliminate the two line pass offside. This really is the only change you have to make.
    2 On a penalty kill the short-handed team can no longer ice the puck.
    3 A player has to serve the full two minute penalty even if his team is scored upon.
    4 Move the nets back to their original location (they are talking about doing this)
    5 Impose a weight tax on teams so that they pay extra if they draft big dumb slow players - the Leafs gave up a perfectly good defensemen Jason Smith and tried to turn oversized Chris McAllister into an NHL player. The only thing he had going for him was size - a trait that NHL GM's are over enamored with and in the end he failed miserably. Bring in a weight tax.
Some good ideas, but let's not forget the prospect of enlarging the ice surface.

Fast skaters and skill players can go around the hookers, and hockey team owners get to hold up their cities for even newer arenas. Win-win! Unless you're a Canadian city and the Americans are about to get serious about the dollar's exchange rate again, bit who cares about the Canadians, eh? What do they know about NHL hockey?

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:43 PM
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