Tuesday, January 13, 2004
 
Gun Bans Aren't Enough

Let's see. New York's banned guns. They've tried to ban toy guns. And it's still not enough to stop criminals:
    Dan Looney, a chief prosecutor with Nassau County, said that each time Trantel pulled off a heist, he handed the tellers a note saying he had a gun.

    "He produced a robbery demand note detailing the threat of using a firearm and thereby placing the tellers in fear of injury from the use of the weapon," Looney said.

    Authorities do not know "whether, in fact, he had a loaded gun," and no weapon was recovered, Looney said. The prosecutor declined to comment on a motive in the case.
Criminals are committing crimes and frightening innocent people with just the word gun. Therefore, in the interest of public safety, we should strike it from our language and make it a felony to use or write the word gun.

Of course, since criminals can convey the meaning with synonyms, such as pistol, rifle, niner, firearm, and so on, so of course, they'll have to go, too.

And since they can, at least some of them can, convey the proper image through metaphors, such as hand-held volcano that erupts leaden lava, we'll have to banish the entire concept of personal projectile weapons. Maybe taking it back to slingshots and atl-atls is a little much, but it's for The Children somehow, so we must!

Report to public reeducation camps immediately.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:31 PM
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To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."