Wednesday, November 26, 2003
 
Richard Roeper Pushes My Buttons

Richard Roeper, accused of living in the Midwest by one of his coastal friends, invents the Middle Coast to refute that fatal accusation:
    Not long ago, I was at dinner with a group of entertainment industry professionals, including a Los Angeles native and resident. Nice woman. After talking movies, we got into the "Where do you live?" and "Where did you grow up?" stuff -- and when she learned I had spent practically my whole life in the Chicago area, she talked about how much she loves our great city. We have the Cubs (does anyone from out of town ever say the White Sox?), the architecture, the food, the lake, the blues, the shopping, the Oprah, etc., etc.

    Not to mention the wonderful people of Chicago -- the "down-to-earth" types with "good solid values," as we're often labeled.

    And then this nice woman used the term that almost always makes me cringe. The label is favored by East and West Coast types who use it like a pat on the head to tell us how quaint we are, how charming we are -- and what rubes we are.

    "I just love that whole Midwestern thing," she said.

    I can't precisely recall the specific wording of what she said next, but there were a few more "down-to-earth" references, and something about how we're so much more "real" than Los Angelenos and New Yorkers, and how it's so refreshing that we're not embarrassed about our love for Wal-Mart and Celine Dion and Krispy Kreme.

    Then, she mentioned that her husband attended school in the Midwest, and he has family in the Midwest, and she knows a lot of other people from the Midwest, including her college roommate who was from the Midwest -- and at that point I had to cut her off and explain something.

    Chicago ain't the Midwest.
He pushes one of my buttons and then keeps pushing it to make the elevator come faster.

Dude, just move to LA so you can hang out with your movie sophisticates or move to New York so you can hang out with your Esquire cosmopolitans.

Is it Friday yet? When's the next Neil Steinberg column due?

 
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."