Friday, October 10, 2003
 
Why Stop There?

A grieving family has taken time from their grieving to sue not the drunk driver who paralyzed their daughter, but also the following parties:
    Besides the NFL [and its commissioner Paul Tagliabue], defendants include Lanzaro, the Giants, the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority, Giants Stadium and Aramark, a company that sells concessions at the stadium.
Seems they missed a few people. I'd like to point out they should also include:
  • Jim Fassel, head coach of the New York Giants, whose inspired leadership that day lead to a Giants' victory that lead to the drunken driver's celebration / lead to a Giants' loss that lead to the drunken driver easing the immortal pain of being a Giants fan with alcohol.

  • The manufacturer of the drunken driver's truck, which did not conduct a sobriety test before allowing him to start the vehicle.

  • The state of New Jersey, for laying a strip of asphalt upon which the drunken driver could drive drunkenly.

  • The Catholic Church, for canonizing Augustine of Hippo, Nicholas of Myra, Saint Luke, Saint Barbara, Saint Medard of Noyon, Saint Adrian, and assorted others who were considered patron saints of beer and legitimized brewed grain consumption.

  • Budweiser, the King of Beers, for not keeping its subjects in line.
(Link seen on Drudge.)

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:02 PM
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