Friday, October 10, 2003
 
High Drinks Not Yet a Felony

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch (literally, after the train has left the station), we have this tale of intoxicated airline woe:
    Amelia Hernandez said she slipped some rum onto a New York-to-Dallas flight just to "calm her nerves." But by the Midwest, she was singing and swearing and scaring the flight crew into an unscheduled landing at St. Louis just to boot her off.

    She capped the day May 5 by thumping a Lambert Field police officer in the head and kicking a window out of a squad car.
Yes, well, that sounds pretty serious. Fortunately, someone in the government had a heart, and she got a plea bargain:
    Hernandez pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to a misdemeanor charge of drinking liquor in flight that was not served by a crew member, which many people might not realize is a crime.
With so many laws, it's so easy to miss a few, unless you're a prosecutor.

But to offer a some advice, I offer the following list of things which you might not realize are also against the law regarding air travel:
  • It is against the law to bring your own peanuts onto any domestic or international flight.
  • It is against the law to mentally undress your flight attendant.
  • It is against the law to cross the center white line; this is reckless flying.
  • It is against the law to request lots of money and parachutes and then jump out of the plane over the Pacific Northwest.
Cripes, I was going to try to be funny under the rubric of "If I weren't laughing, I would be crying," but I think I will just weep at the silly micromanaging laws passed by the picadores in the legislatures.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:39 PM
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