Wednesday, July 30, 2003
 
Phrase Those Questions Carefully

The illuminated state of Illinois has clarified, according to a story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, that:
    "No" always means no, even when someone says it during the middle of consensual sex, according to a new state law.

    The law clarifies the issue of consent by spelling out that people can change their mind even while having sex. If someone says "no," the other person must stop or it becomes rape.
So during those coital communications, take care in choosing your words for communication with your partner. Such inappropriate questions as "Did you hear the doorbell?", "Is that your husband's car pulling into the driveway?", or simply "Do you like that, baby?" might lead to you committing rape.

Remember to phrase the questions as true/false ("True or false: You like that, baby."), short answer ("What did you hear just then that sounded like 'ding-dong'?"), or multiple choice ("The crunch of wheels on gravel was caused by, a) your husband returning home, b) your husband's assistant, Johnny 'Cheeks' Moreso, arriving to pick you up for your shopping trip, c) my frightened-but-strangely-excited imagination, or d) both a and b?").

Note: Some might say I am misinterpreting the written communication this article poses. An article written by a journalist I assume to be calm and rational, an article covering a law composed by reflective and deliberate legislators, an article I read while sober and reasonable. If I can misinterpret this written communication in the best of circumstances, how absurd is it then to criminalize a potential misinterpretation of a spoken communication composed and delivered while in the throes of hormones, passion, and/or quite frankly oftentimes a bunch of booze?

Also, does the application of the term "bad boy" or "bad girl" assign criminality?

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:04 PM
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To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."