Musings from Brian J. Noggle

Democrat Lawmakers Underestimate Consequences of Music Swapping

Drudge links to a story about the new bill in Congress that will hang music swappers with a jail term for swapping tunes online.

It's hard to argue with their math:

The Conyers-Berman bill would operate under the assumption that each copyrighted work made available through a computer network was copied by others at least 10 times for a total retail value of $2,500. That would bump the activity from a misdemeanor to a felony, carrying a sentence of up to five years in jail. Because songs are obviously worth $250 each.

And our lawmakers have uncovered, in a series of hearings, the real consequences of file swapping:

spread computer viruses, create government security risks and allow children access to pornography

Good going, fellows, you have determined some of the contemporary bugaboos you can arbitrarily associate with with an issue to score extra Politicopoints. But I fear you've missed other grim consequences of file swapping:

Peer-to-peer file swapping has been proven to cause cancer in laboratory animals.
Peer-to-peer music swapping leads to increased manufacture and use of methamphetamine.
Peer-to-peer music swapping causes obesity because users no longer have to walk around a music store.
Peer-to-peer music swapping uses negative campaign ads against earnest incumbents.
Peer-to-peer music swapping contributes to global warming and depletes the ozone layer.
Software like Kazaa and Napster contributes to traffic accidents and SUV rollovers.

So undoubtedly, it is important to make this behavior a Federal felony so states cannot show some restraint in prosectution. It's very important to take away music swappers' rights to own firearms and vote, because when they come out five years of hard time for the eleventh download of Metallica's "St. Anger", they're going to be upset, and we don't want them to have any recourse against their legislator.

So it is important to obscure the true impact of music swapping, which is it has limited economic impact on a small industry with these "reasons."

If this bill fails on its own, remember you can attach it as an amendment to the next Congress Supports Mothers bill. Because what fool congressperson would vote against Mom?

- posted by Brian J. @ 5:50 AM