Wednesday, June 04, 2003
 
Hijinks Not Yet A Felony

Here in Casinoport, four high school students are getting the pamphlet thrown at them for a senior prank. Ill-advised youngsters ran into their high school cafeteria while wearing masks and carrying boxes with chickens in them to release said chickens. They're getting misdemeanor disturbing the peace (or maybe "Disturbing the 10-Piece Bucket") charges. What an outrage!

You mean it's not yet a felony to wear masks in public or carry chickens in boxes? Legislators, take note! We need to make an example of these young men, assuring that they're stigmatized for life and that they forever have to tell this particular story when checking that little "Yes, I have been convicted" box on job applications. And if they're convicted felons, they can't vote against you! Win/win!

Remember, when have senses of humor are outlawed, only outlaws will have a sense of humor. And in case it's a law exempt from ex post facto, allow me to assert "I am serious."

 
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."