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Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
Atari Apostasy at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Heresy!
With the Atari attached to our TV, my then-preschool kids and I could shoot at each other from very crude depictions of jet fighters, or shoot at each other from very crude depictions of tanks, or go bowling with an imaginary ball which seemed indistinguishable from the missiles of jet fighters or the shells of tanks. I bored of it in about an hour. The kids, I think, gave up about 30 minutes after that. Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Feds Get Their Man Kirkwood man charged with impersonating a Marine:
Michael Gerald Weilbacher, 48, of the 200 block of Horseshoe Drive was arrested by FBI agents last night, the U.S. Attorney's office said today. Pardon me for being a chickenhawk child of two Marines, brother to only one, but damn, doesn't our federal law enforcement force (and its enabling Congress) have better priorities than to chase down false braggarts? Well, our society has functionally eliminated shame as a deterrent/retributive factor (Michael Gerald Weilbacher, you're a lying sissy), so some groups think its necessary to protect the sensitive feelings our former soldiers by incarcerating some nitwit. Pardon me if I suspect that perhaps this stems from some symbolic gesture sop thrown to our veterans in place of actual, you know, respect for those who served. Everyone Knows Fred Was The Poet Google search of the day: tiger tiger burning bring in the middle of the night robert blakeYou can take that to the bank Where Love lay sleeping; I heard among the rushes dank Weeping, weeping. Trade Deficit The number one grossing Australian entertainment act from last year? It wasn't Beccy Cole. It wasn't Nicole Kidman. It wasn't even AC/DC. Not even close:
Always the Last Place You Look Bodies of 3 family members found in Lemay home:
UPDATE: This keeps getting more embarrassing for county cops; apparently, it was a family member who found the bodies. Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Book Report: Emma by Jane Austen (1996) I picked up this book off of the discount rack at a regular book store. I probably paid a couple dollars for it and I am sure I wanted to impress Heather by looking smart and reading it. Some years later, I picked it up. The edition, the Everyman Library paperback, is not the best edition aesthetically, which figures since it was on the cheap shelf. It's a paperback with lightweight paper and, most appallingly, rife with typographical errors. Unlike when I read Kafka, I did not read the supporting introductory essay before I delved into the book. I did glance at the timeline of Jane Austen's life, though, to clarify the time period in which she was writing. I also admit that I read the back, which reveals the entirety of the plot as well as any Cliff Notes. It's just as well, though, since I could focus on the characterization and catch hints that I knew would indicate the conclusion. The book centers on Emma Woodhouse, a 20-year-old daughter of gentry who has recently lost her nanny/confidante to marriage and who decides to help elevate a young lady of unknown origins. Miss Woodhouse decides to make a match (as one would expect in an Austen novel) for Miss Smith. Emma tries to set her up with the vicar, then the local gentleman farmer, and finally the son of her nanny's husband. Emma, the novel lets us know, is not as insightful into the human condition and heart as she thinks she is. She misinterprets signs, feelings, and motivations of almost everyone around her and eventually ends up attached to the local gentleman farmer. This summary is slightly more obscure than the back cover for your non-spoiler pleasure. When reading historic novels, I often wander into thoughts of who the target audiences for these books would have been in the early 1800s when the book was out initially. Surely, it speaks of the upper class without disdain which is so fashionable in serious fiction now. It focuses on young (late teens or early 20s) people making matches and courting. I guess it was targeted to those markets, or merely whatever literates wandered England at the time. So it meant something different to them 200 years ago than it does now, but I read it just the same. Well, that's all I got for now. I never really did go back to read the introduction nor the end material, but I have the luxury of reading this because I wanted to (and it was on my To Read shelves). I don't have to put together some sort of coherent paper (obviously) and defend arguments against the patriarchy vigorously enough to pass a class. Which is nice, in a way. In all ways, actually. Book Report: Sons of Sam Spade: The Private Eye Novel in the 70s by David Geherin (1980) In February, I read Geherin's The American Private Eye: The Image in Fiction, and I mentioned having read Sons of Sam Spade in college. Sometime this summer, I found an ex-library copy at a bok fair, so I picked it up for a re-read. In the intervening fifteen years since I first read this book, Robert B. Parker has put out a number of books, including non-series novels and two new non-Spenser series, that really don't live up to the promise of his beginning four. I've also read several of the Roger L. Simon Moses Wine novels (The Lost Coast, California Roll, The Big Fix, and Peking Duck) and they probably live up to my preconception of them. I haven't read anything by the third author covered, Andrew Bergman, but his work sounds interesting enough to look for when book fair season begins next summer. The content of Sons of Sam Spade, like The American Private Eye, offer a nice summary of some of the late entrants (at the time) into the genre and makes a good, short respite from actually reading the genre. It's literary criticism, sort of, and I can enjoy it. Monday, November 27, 2006
A New Nightmare for Noggle Bookcase 'trap' killed US woman:
Mariesa Weber, 38, is believed to have fallen over and become trapped as she tried to reach behind the bookcase to adjust the plug for a TV set. The Cure for the Monday Blues Johnny Cash singing "Hurt": Remembering that all of your efforts, your failures, and your successes matter the same in the end really puts your simple little "I Squandered A Four Day Weekend and Am Back At Work" churlishness into perspective, ainna? Saturday, November 25, 2006
AP Headline Misses Critical Word Headline: Honduras fines U.S. subsidiary over alleged mercenary training. That's odd, I didn't realize that the United States of America had subsidiaries. Oh, wait:
Reading the story, apparently the company was training people to work as security guards in Iraq, which means that I'll have to start calling Rose, the desk guard at the building in which I work, a mercenary since that's what the Honduran government would call her. But hey, free $25,000! Just Helping Out I have no idea what ex-girlfriend on Bothwell Glasgow means, but if there's one source for it in the world, it should be Boondoggled. Backers and Leaders Want Gravy Train In Milwaukee, another unelected authority has revived another way to spend the public's money: commuter rail:
Kudos, though, to the plan's originators. With full knowledge that there's no funding in place, they've come up with a plan that's even more expensive than the last one:
UPDATE: Owen of Boots and Sabers, more proximate to the impending fiscal train wreck than I am, weighs in. Britain To Reward Silent Killers 'Big Brother' cameras listen for fights:
"Ninety percent of violent cases start with verbal aggression," Van der Vorst said. "With our system, the police can respond a lot quicker to a violent situation." I Call It My Personal Safety Zone Recliner Saves Man Who Was Shot in Head:
Friday, November 24, 2006
Pleasant Dreams Yeah, I've had a lot of nothing to say lately. How could I, knowing that the killer bees coming is nothing compared to the unchecked northward march of the giant carnivorous centipedes? Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Not What I Bargained For CNN Headline: Seeing love in green and gold Is it some article about new women's lingerie with the Packers logo, like these H-O-T-T! Packer panties? No, it's some dumb writer or something. Man, my heart started racing for a moment there. Advocacy Group Releases Poll Results Which Reinforce Group's Position Poll results that promote the point-of-view of the commissioning group as news? Sure, if the poll knocks America:
To drive home the point, the Discover America Partnership released the result of a global survey on Monday which showed that international travelers see the United States as the world's worst country in terms of getting a visa and, once you have it, making your way past rude immigration officials. UPDATE: Once again, someone else discovers that I am dumb as a stump:
But let's look at the study's other details (summary PDF) which can be spun otherwise than "U.S. is most unfriendly country to visitors." For example, once you get past the unfriendly, apparently they're not afraid of the things that frighten Americans:
Meanwhile, since I am feeling minimalistly glib, allow me to mock some of the survey itself (survey results PDF). For starters, 100% of the survey respondents had travelled off of their continent in the preceding year and a half, so we're not talking about first time travellers. 65% are college graduates, compared to a thumbnail where college graduation rates by country top out at 40% (gathered here). The survey was taken on the Internet (or so I assume based on this question: "What regions have you traveled to? Just click on a region to indicate you have traveled there in the past 18 months." So the survey looks at well-travelled, well-educated, well-connected people. The sort who might easily look down on stupid foreign government officials, maybe. But that's only what I assume based on my firsthand knowledge with frequent travellers abroad. Maybe I need to hang out with more down-to-earth jetsetters. Now, here is our respondents' breakdown by country: What is your country of citizenship—that is, what country are you a citizen of?
I mean, heck's pecs, I think Illinois is a heckuva bargain for the travel dollar and is very convenient for travelling to. Because I can freaking walk there. But I am belaboring my point when I could berecreate some other point which probably won't be blogged. So let me make sure I am missing the point completely, because I rather hate to nick the point, or rather to merely backboard-rim the point instead of a complete air ball:
Regardless of whether the travel procedures are onerous, which I have no doubt they are, the proper way to encourage a meaningful reflection on the process is not to shout from the rooftops FOREIGNERS SAY AMERICA IS UNFRIENDLY, but particularly if you're trying to sell a solution to Americans. Instead, perhaps an appeal to the generosity of Americans who want to share the experience of this beautiful nation and its myriad landscapes and culturescapes with other people who obviously view America favorably. Oh, but no, I miss the point of a public policy initiative coming from a trade group based in Washington, D.C., who thinks the best mechanism to initiate American public policy reflection is the reproach of foreign opinion. Because I am a dumb, ugly, and unfriendly American, no doubt. Sunday, November 19, 2006
The Press Pounces You know why the Bush administration has chosen to provide a ludicrously self-confident front on its approach to the war on terror, when any reasonable person recognizes mistakes and setbacks that the president and his team seem loath to admit? Because any crack in the unity plays like this: White House scrambles for exit strategy:
After three years of repeated insistences by President George W. Bush that he would accept nothing short of victory in Iraq and that the proper policy was in place to achieve that end, everything appears up in the air amid an intense flurry of new studies and proposals about the war. Which of the recommendations the White House will adopt is unclear, but rising public anger over the war reflected in the congressional elections has most observers believing the administration has little choice but to shift gears. "They're looking for a way out," Rep. Ike Skelton, D-Mo., said of the administration. Were this a less-than-family blog, I would express through creative invective my immediate, visceral reactions to this article, laden with a vocabulary designed to present through a funhouse mirror any thought of change into a desire to cut-and-run, hypocritically, from a fight we can win. Personally, I regret that I have but one subscription to cancel to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and that I did that long ago. Book Report: The Mystery Reader's Quiz Book by Aneta Corsaut, Muff Singer, and Robert Wagner (1981) Well. I bought this book cheaply at a book fair because I was already buying dozens of other books, so what could this one hurt? My pride, my friends, my pride. For this book offers a hundred some pages of quizzes that cover the field of crime fiction mostly of the twentieth century, and as a trivia-lover, I fell very, very short. I thought I was doing all right on the authors I know well. A couple of questions touched on the 87th Precinct series by Ed McBain. A couple on the Lew Archer books by Ross MacDonald. I even answered correctly a number of questions about Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe series, some of which I read in high school. But there's a great number of books, authors, and series in classical and frankly just 20th century fiction that I didn't get around to reading yet, although there's plenty of it to be read in the Noggle Library. My final humbling came at the hands of a simple quiz that just wanted me to get the colors right in the titles of John D. MacDonald's Travis McGee series. It's been a year since I last touched one of these books, and some many more for most. I got a couple right--I can even see the cover for Free Fall in Crimson in my mind's eye since I just organized some of the read shelves this year, but ultimately, I fell very short. For an author whose books I really enjoyed and have, in several instances, read more than once. Forget it, the Northside Mind Flayers trivia night team is no more, for I cannot even respect myself for my performance with this book. But it was a quick browse, like a phone book. Only occasionally did my eyes fall upon a familiar name. The rest of the time I was turning pages without comprehension. Book Report: Nice Girls Do - And Now You Can Too! by Dr. Irene Kassorla (1980) When you've got a self-help sex book with the dedication TO MY FATHER - Who taught me the meaning of tenderness with his soft cheeks and gentle hands, you know you're getting into some downright creepy psychoanalysis territory. To help women of the baby boom generation cope with their sexual hang-ups, Dr. Irene Kassorla has devised the PLEASURE PROCESS, a set of steps not actually recognized by ANSI or ISO. This process involves the usual good advice about sex:
I mean, ew. Please. No. That's not a test of whether your partner loves you, ladies; that's a test of whether your partner is listening to you. For his sake and for the sake of your relationship, I hope he's not. Frankly, Irene Kassorla is no Marabel Morgan, and I'm glad Ruth Westheimer had Dr. Kassorla "disappeared" in the great sex therapist turf battles of the end of the disco era. Because frankly, I'm more hung up than when I started the book. Microsoft Helps Out Error message from Hotmail: ![]() Please note the steps to remedy the situation:
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Another Vulnerability Revealed to Al-Qaeda Schools look for ways to dispose of radioactive materials:
But as teachers retire and containers get shoved aside to make way for new samples, it's easy for schools to lose track of what they've got, or to store them incorrectly, said Dr. Sandra West, an associate biology professor at Southwest Texas State University in San Marcos. Friday, November 17, 2006
Finally, The Feds Are Involved Google hit of the day: dangerous emus.From the U.S. Department of Justice, no less. Finally, the feds are wising up to the emu threat. Illinois Legislature: We Control The Horizontal, We Control The Vertical State Senate passes $7.50 hourly rate:
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Financial Advice from MfBJN Remember, if your employer offers free coffee, you should drink as much as possible. Otherwise, you're just leaving money on the table. Fortunately, Missouri Dogs Will Have Access To These Cures Stem cell injections fight muscular dystrophy in dogs:
But note:
Sporting Community Up In Arms Over Personal Seat Licenses (PSLs) Sportswriters around the country have discovered their disdain for having to prepay merely for the right to pay for something. Oh, wait, it's not PSLs; it's paying for the privilege of negotiating with a player:
I do see the subtle differences that make the moral equation opposite. Tuesday, November 14, 2006
New Arms Race Maybe I am reading too much into unrelated events, but these two things could indicate the beginning of an escalating arms race and tensions between two non-governmental entities. 1: Dam plans jeopardize Amazon, experts say. 2: Private Texas spaceport launches test rocket:
Monday, November 13, 2006
Undeterred By Will of Citizens, Industry Group Vows To Seek Taxpayer Featherbedding Again Tobacco tax defeat smacks hospitals:
Voters rejected a proposed constitutional amendment that would have increased cigarette taxes by 80 cents a pack. Most of the money raised — about $289 million of the forecast $350 million — would have gone to Missouri's hospitals to help pay for the care of the state's lowest-income patients. The Missouri Hospital Association, the major supporter of the failed amendment, says it's not giving up. Oh, I know, you're saying, "There goes MfBJN, attacking the poor again," but note, fellows, that any wide-ranging industry serves the poor. Just because it's health care doesn't mean it's exempt from my free market-loving scorn. I mean, how many poor people could be served with the money spent in the Missouri Hospital Association's budget? Plenty, I would guess, but no doubt that capital is doing more good paying salaries and expenses for lobbyists who are self-selected to do the work for the poor. City of St. Louis to Deploy Red Tape To Deter Thieves As the price of scrap metal has risen, bad men have begun stealing or destroying working and expensive equipment to get at the copper or aluminum within. The City of St. Louis will do something to help deter the thieves. No, not rigorous enforcement of existing laws nor increased patrols and police presence on the street. Perish the thought. The city will introduce new regulations that deputize (and burden) private industry and inconvenience law-abiding citizens:
Police say the paper trail would help stop the scourge of thefts from businesses and homes that has risen with the price of recycled metals. Red tape: It's like duct tape for the government. Sunday, November 12, 2006
All Veterans The Same to St. Louis Post-Dispatch The St. Louis Post-Dispatch profiles a veteran for Veterans' Day. Lest we think the paper might lavish some attention on an American veteran or, hell, even an ally who fought with the Americans in some war or another, don't worry: the Post-Dispatch sepia-tones an opposing soldier from World War I:
First, he’s 105 years old and a World War I veteran. Second, in WWI, he wore the field-gray uniform of the German army. Saturday, November 11, 2006
Book Report: Assassin of Gor by John Norman (1970,1973) Now I remember where I got these books; I bought them at Patten Books for a couple dollars each after I discovered how well they sold on eBay. Unfortunately, I would also later discover that the books available in bookstores tended toward the later, less salable editions. In a final stroke of ill luck, I started reading the ones I couldn't sell and found they were okay. So now I go into bookstores looking to buy them and might, someday, float ludicrous sums of money to buy back the very books I once bought for fifty cents and sold at great profit. But I digress. This, the fifth book in the series, finds Tarl Cabot disguised as an assassin hunting someone who wanted to kill him in his rebuilding home city of Ko-Ro-Ba. He travels to Ar and enters the employ of a slaver to find out what he can about his adversaries. In the course of having his vengeance, he aids a plot to overthrow the leaders of that city. Again, the main character is strong, assertive, and still a pawn of things he only half-understands. The book continues some of the serial story alluding to a bigger payoff and bigger plots to come in the series. I remembered where I got these books because I returned to Patten Books to fill in the gaps in my set. I picked up 1, 2, 6, 7, and 10, which means I now only lack 9 of the first 10. Although Patten had a number of the later books, I held off on spending the sums to which I alluded (over $20 for at least one of the paperbacks) until I get a better sense of whether I'll enjoy the books that late in the series. The earlier books remained in print for a long time, making them cheap and plentiful, whereas the later books are expensive because they had fewer printings. Whether this is due to quality drop-off or the backlash against the books that arose in the 1980s, I'm unsure, but I'm certainly not spending good liquor money on those books yet. But all signs indicate that I'll buy 11 sometime in the next year or so. Book Report: The Spy Who Never Was & Other True Spy Stories by David C. Knight (1978) I bought this book this year at the Carondolet Y Book Fair, I think. It's back when I thought I might write for Damn Interesting, so I purposefully sought out compendia like this that would give me inspiration for stories I could write. I never got the gig, but I do have a number of interesting books to read. It's only after I cracked this book open that the brevity coupled with the large print size indicated that this might be a juvenile book. That's okay, though, as I am often juvenile. The book contains a number of short chapters on famous spies through history, including Mata Hari, Nathaniel Hale, Gary Powers, and Rudolf Abel. Aside from these well-known figures, the book also covers Major William Martin (see, it is Damn Interesting sort of material); Velvalee Dickinson, spy for Japan in World War II; Peter Ortiz, Marine reserve and leader of the French resistance in WWII; and others. The brief chapters and simple language make it a very quick read and serves as trivia fodder or a source for further investigation. So it was worth my time, even if I'm three times the age of its target audience. Plus, it's the 76th book I read this year. So there. Hollywood Salutes Veterans Hey, it's opening weekend for Harsh Times, a movie about a violent ex-Army Ranger shooting the hell out of Los Angeles because he likes killing. Thank you for your disservice, Hollywood. Friday, November 10, 2006
Worst Storm Season Ever Thanks To Man-Made Global Warming Well, why aren't the climate experts making that claim? Because the bad storms are happening on Saturn:
"It looks like a hurricane, but it doesn't behave like a hurricane," said Andrew Ingersoll, a member of Cassini's imaging team at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, Calif. "Whatever it is, we're going to focus on the eye of this storm and find out why it's there." A Startling Turn of Events In a startling turn of events, when the price of something goes up, consumers buy less of it. This holds true of labor, where the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has performed some hard-hitting post-election journalism to discover that businesses will hire fewer employees at minimum wage now that the state's citizens have ordered businesses to do so:
Meanwhile, in Illinois, the re-elected Governor Rod Blagojevich cannot wait to impose an additional hiring freeze in his state:
Such a campaign pledge had helped Blagojevich win his first term in 2002 and it became a pledge he made good on when he signed a $1.35-an-hour hike above the federal level in the summer of 2003. On Thursday, he called his proposed $1 hike, which would raise the minimum wage to $7.50 an hour, his "first order of business" as the legislature returns for its fall session next week. Thursday, November 09, 2006
Not A Lot Of Snark To Be Found The return of the Electric Venom Snark Hunt (now called the "Carnival of Snark") looks to be a little light. No doubt next week will be more chock full of pith once everyone sees she really means it. Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Election Results! Preposition 1: Will Brian go to work today?In other words, more of the same. Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Election Update! I voted. Now, I am going to drink a little wine and read a bit of classical literature. Because, gentle reader, this Republic will go on beyond tonight, beyond the tallies, beyond tomorrow. Regardless of what the panting pamphleteers of pixels say tonight. Greenland Tourist, Agriculture Industries Salivate Greenland ice sheet shrinking fast: NASA:
Greenland's low coastal regions lost 155 gigatons (41 cubic miles) of ice each year between 2003 and 2005 from excess melting and icebergs, the scientists said in a statement. Long live the Greenland banana plantations! AP Disses Columbia, Missouri Town cracks down on rowdy Mizzou parties:
The ordinances were approved Monday. They include tougher punishments for loud or rowdy social gatherings of 10 or more people and define 16 different nuisance activities, from drug dealing and prostitution to littering and blocking traffic. Violations can result in fines ranging from $500 to $4,000. In the case of repeated nuisance parties, the city could close the property for up to one year, the Columbia Missourian reported today. Natural Gas Prices Fall; Will Anyone Blame Bush? Laclede asks to reduce rate:
Laclede Gas Co., which serves St. Louis and surrounding Missouri counties, has filed for a 13 percent reduction in fuel costs, reflecting lower wholesale prices for natural gas, which is used to heat most homes. Gas rates for Ameren Corp. customers in Missouri and Illinois already have been cut. Also, it's funny to note the following misprinting that's probably due to a failure in the filling in of the Mad Libs template for utility stories:
Chuck Norris In Iraq I bet this made some troops' days:
Gen. Robert Magnus, Assistant Commandant of the Marine Corps, along with action stars Marshall Teague and Chuck Norris, joined a military formation of 20 service members to promote the three Marines. (Link seen on Ace of Spades HQ.) The City Is Back....In The Stone Age When we looked for a new home last winter, our real estate agent mentioned that there were some really nice houses in the city of St. Louis. No thanks, I said; I already have to pay a city income tax for the luxury of getting to work there. I don't need to suffer through what I pay for. Unfortunately, this fellow cannot say the same:
However, the City of St. Louis itself is dying, thanks primarily to decades of liberal/Democrat control, which has done everything possible to drive out the upper and middle class citizens and ruined many blessings with which this once great city had been endowed. St. Louis is a classic example of what happens when Democrats and Liberals hold dominion unopposed over a community for a long period of time. It is a Democrat utopia. Monday, November 06, 2006
Altria Takes Note Back when I was a kid, these were called "candy cigarettes": ![]() Which is why we'll buy dried tobacco in the produce section someday soon. Because dried tobacco isn't cigarettes, you see. Neither are "candy sticks", but it's good to see that all the candy cigarette machinery didn't get rusty. Another True Internet Fact from MfBJN Originally, Sudoku was named Countdoku, but then the Lucasfilm attorneys sent a letter. The rest, they say, is numerology. Or history. Or what have you. No Relation (I Hope) Not that you were asking, but this is no relation of mine:
Power to the Prosecutors! Well, not exactly, but "backers" want to give police more excuses to stop people in cars: Missouri wants what Illinois has: a tougher seat belt law:
Police in Missouri can write a ticket for not wearing a seat belt only if the motorist was pulled over for another violation. A primary seat belt law, which has failed in the legislature every year since 2000, gives police authority to pull people over solely for not buckling up. To save a projected 90 lives a year. But that's projected, whereas the loss of freedom and the loss of citizens' money, will be real. From the Continent That Invented Totalitarianism A centralized power grid with a single failure that affects numerous cities in numerous countries shows itself as an example of a needed solution. That solution, of course: more centralization.
The blackout, which originated in north-western Germany, also struck Paris and 15 French regions, and its effects were felt in Austria, Belgium, Italy and Spain. In Germany, around 100 trains were delayed, and in the French capital firemen responded to 40 calls from those trapped in lifts late on Saturday night. Sunday, November 05, 2006
Bill McClellan Opposes Medical Research As Its Discoveries Would Be Expensive At least, I think that's the point he meanders to in his column today:
So what would we do? If the insurance companies have to foot the bill for the new technology, rates would have to rise, and maybe rise steeply. This would compound the problem we already can barely ignore about health insurance. Millions of Americans don't have any. We're able to ignore this only because most middle-class people have at least some semblance of health insurance, but if rates go up, what then? Could we become a society in which some people — the most affluent — are able to get new organs while many go without even basic treatment? More likely, we will have to make some very difficult decisions. Who will get the cutting-edge treatment and be allowed to cheat death? I think about a spiritual man in his mid-60s, a man who used to dress as a horse for Shakespeare in the Park. Would he make the cut? Saturday, November 04, 2006
Razors, Meet Wrists Kate at Electric Venom needs your suggestions for the 50 Most Depressing Songs so she can build a playlist to help her in her NaNoMoWri or whatever that thing is efforts. Man, I just recollected the old mixed tapes and playlists I created for myself to serve as backdrop music when I bled my passions to the page, and just remembering those depressing songs has kinda bummed me out. Well-played, maestros. (Oh, yeah, I did list some in her comments, but I'm not going to recreate them for you here, gentle reader, because it would hurt just too much.) How Many Of These Things Are You Old Enough to Remember? In a sidebar to an article entitled "Whatever Happened To...." by Rose Madeline Mula, the Saturday Evening Post asks that question. Here's the list, with the ones I remember in bold:
Friday, November 03, 2006
Conspiracy Theory Du Jour The evidence is clear; the Dow Jones average, widely reported in the media as a snapshot financial harbinger or at least simple box score of the nation, is trending downward the week before the election, from a high of almost 12,150 on Monday to about 12,020 at the close of business yesterday. This can mean only one thing: Billionaire George Soros is manipulating the stock market to affect the election!Because I understand that these days all portents and augury has something to do with stolen or rigged elections. I thought I would read some guts, too.Thursday, November 02, 2006
An Easy Solution Presents Itself The problem: Overfishing and pollution are going to end seafood as we know it:
Now, to get a government grant to turn this pithy blog post into a couple years' worth of easy living and a couple hundred pages of obscure, hesitant prose. Freelancing for John Kerry William Squire posted some ghostwritten jokes for John Kerry, who recently bombed with a "botched joke":
Because it was stuck on 96.7 Z-Rock, and he was looking for some of that hillbilly music they listen to in the Midwest. Why did the firemen need the jaws of life for the uneducated soldier who was fiddling with his car radio's FM dial? Because he lost control of his vehicle, rolled it down an enbankment, and was stuck in his IROC. Why didn't the uneducated, not trying to be smart soldier give Senator Kerry the ascot the Massachussetan asked for? The uneducated soldier didn't know it was stuck on the tie rack! I'm available for low, low rates! Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Book Report: Whodunits by Pocket Puzzlers (2000?) I know, what's next, book reports on Dell mini mags? But I read this book and it's 96 pages, so it's thicker than some of the tracts I've covered here. It's a tiny little octo or whatever you would call it with a number of crime-related puzzles. You're supposed to figure them out and look up the answer in the back to see if you're right. The book's stories are split between logic puzzles, the kind you're supposed to draw grids for and mark off the inferences from a finite number of statements of fact such as "One of the suspects is a liar," and the more Encyclopedia Brownish spot-the-inconsistencies. I prefered the latter, mainly because I read this in bed often and didn't have pen and paper to do the logic puzzles. I paid a quarter for it at a book fair (Carondolet 2006? Oh, it's so hard to tell). It's worth it if you can get a cheap copy if you remember Encyclopedia Brown fondly. A Little Inference Never Hurt Nobody When you're married, sometimes you let a little inference work for you. It's not deception, exactly. For example:
She inferred: To share with coworkers. I really meant: For lunch. UPDATE: Number of SweeTarts that it takes until you begin to hallucinate: 597. |
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."
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