Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Friday, October 07, 2005
 
Conan the Barbarian Special Governor's Cut
Mongol General: "What is best in life?"

Conan: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, to hear the lamentations of their women, and to protect their children from video games that depict serious injury to human beings in a manner that is especially heinous, atrocious, or cruel."


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:38 PM   0 comments
Thursday, October 06, 2005
 
Sure, Tell Me I Am The Only One
Look me in the eye when you say that you have never taken a hazardous chemical cleaning or lubricating agent that you cannot pour down the drain and have to pay for disposal to an acquaintance's house and tucked it under their sink or set it on a shelf in his garage when he wasn't looking.

I guess El Guapo knows where he got that orange juice bottle full of olive-colored automotive coolant now.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:57 PM   0 comments
 
Book Report: All These Condemned by John D. MacDonald (1954)
All These Condemned is very similar to A Man of Affairs; both deal with business affairs and backstabbing that go on in luxurious locations and someone ends up dead. In this case, it's a wealthy cosmetic company diva who enjoys toying with and manipulating her friends and employees.

MacDonald did something a little different with this book, wherein each chapter comprises the action leading up to or following the murder as seen through the eyes of one of the people at the lake resort of Wilma Ferris. With no single voice and the recursive nature of the storytelling--as each person retells a portion of it--the book becomes a cipher, hard to get into and almost plodding in its slow build-up to the climax.

Still, it's interesting to see MacDonald riffing with characters, timeline, and whatnot. But I don't recommend the book highly.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:56 PM   0 comments
 
ESPN Columnist Does Not See Shadow, Predicts Early Spring
At least for me:
    9. The 0-4 Green Bay Packers will win the NFC North.

    OK, the division might be the worst in the history of the league, but I envision the Packers going 8-4 or 9-3 the rest of the season. The Packers are not as bad as their winless record.

    Had the Packers huddled and taken their time before their final fourth-down play against the Carolina Panthers, Brett Favre and the Packers would've finished off their rally and upset the Panthers on Monday night.

    The Packers will win their next three -- vs. Saints, at Vikings, at Bengals -- and finish the season on a five-game winning streak -- at Bears, vs. Lions, at Ravens, vs. Bears and vs. Seahawks. In between those strings of victories, they'll grab a win on "MNF" against the Vikings.

    Will the Packers still fire Mike Sherman after he leads them to a division crown? Probably.
Me, I will be happy if they just beat the Bears and will fall into ecstatic shock if they beat the Vikings. Anything else is gravy.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:52 PM   0 comments
 
Long Winter Redux
According to the bylaws of the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, I have to put up the logo of the Detroit Red Wings because Quality Weenie has that team in the Jamboree, and the St. Louis Who?s lost this evening, 3-4, at The Arena Whose Corporate Sponsor Bailed, So It Has No Name Like Its Hockey Team Has No Ownership And Little Talent.

I really wanted to pick the Milwaukee Admirals of the AHL again, but none of the other hockey jamboree participants picked AHL teams, and I wanted to fit in. This is the price I pay.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:42 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
 
World Trade Center Graffiti
Remember, Jesus loves the people you hate


Good to see the people behind the International Freedom Center had alternate plans.

You can find this particular gem of wisdom on a dark Post No Bills temporary construction wall just north of the former site of the World Trade Center. In case the author of this simplistic moralism--a member of the reality hemp-based community--should find through Googlism his or her words immortalized here, allow me to point out some finer flaws with the point he or she is trying to make:
  • It's Jesus's job to love everyone, not mine.

  • I don't hate the people of the individuals who destroyed the World Trade Center, et al. However:

  • If someone wants to kill me or my people for some abstract reason, or even for an acute reason, I'd prefer that person be incapacitated or killed. No hatred involved.
But nice try. Now go back to work; I don't want my tax-funded State Department employees slacking off.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:17 PM   3 comments
 
It's Going To Be A Long Winter
According to the bylaws of the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, I have to put up the logo of the Detroit Red Wings because Quality Weenie has that team in the Jamboree, and the St. Louis Who?s lost this evening, 1-5, at Joe Louis Arena.

There you go. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:02 PM   0 comments
 
Development Will Occur Whether Unelected Officials Want It Or Not
Manchester mayor expects retail center will happen:
    In a tie vote, the Manchester Tax Increment Financing Commission declined Tuesday to recommend that the city approve the Manchester Highlands shopping center project - and the tax increment financing plan that would go with it.

    The six members of the commission appointed by city officials favored the Pace Properties Inc. project. The six members appointed by other jurisdictions, mainly St. Louis County and the Parkway School District, opposed the proposal.

    Aldermen are expected to consider the commission's action at a meeting Nov. 7. Mayor Larry Miles said he expected the project to move forward anyway.
This isn't taxation without representation at all. It's reduction of taxation without representation, and although it does place a larger tax burden on the non-Elect amongst us who don't have the juice to impress municipal officials, it completely adheres to the founding philosophy of our nation. Also:
    Some city-appointed commission members urged Pace to avoid using eminent domain to get land for Manchester Highlands. Doug Huff, vice president of Pace, said his company generally avoided its use.
As a mere citizen of a former representative democracy, where governments exercised emininent domain and other rights ceded to governments by its citizens, I supplicantly plead that Pace also not raise an army and compel me to shop at its little principalities scattered among the formerly free city-states that comprise what was the United States of America.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:14 PM   0 comments
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
 
Stopping Bob Greene Cheap Shots the Hard Way
Columnist charged with domestic battery:
    Chicago Sun-Times columnist and editorial board member Neil Steinberg was arrested at his home late Wednesday and charged with striking his wife during an argument.

    Steinberg was charged with domestic battery and interfering with the reporting of domestic battery, both misdemeanors, Northbrook Police Sgt. Tony Matheny said.
I've enjoyed Steinberg's column for years, but one thing I've disliked is when he's made cheap shots on Bob Greene, former columnist for the Chicago Tribune for a slightly sordid but legal adulterous dalliance with a teenager. Now he's got his own troubles and material for cheap shots from people who disagree with him.

There's a lesson to be learned from this, gentle reader. Unfortunately, it kinda eludes me, and I expect I, too, will continue to be snarky until my own wife beating comes to light.

Please, gentle reader, send me flowers when my beautiful wife puts me in the hospital.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:30 PM   0 comments
 
Democrat Two Step
  1. Declare something a fundamental right:

      San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, who became internationally known for his campaign a year ago to legalize gay marriage, said on Monday he considered wireless Internet access a fundamental right of all citizens.

      Newsom told a news conference that he was bracing for a battle with telephone and cable interests, along with state and U.S. regulators, whom he said were looking to derail a campaign by cities to offer free or low-cost municipal Wi-Fi services.

      Wi-Fi is a short-range wireless technology that is now built into most laptop computers and is increasingly offered on handheld computers and certain mobile phones. Local officials are mulling plans to blanket every nook and cranny of this hilly city of 750,000 residents with Wi-Fi access.

      "This is inevitable -- Wi-Fi. It is long overdue," Newsom told a news conference at San Francisco's City Hall. "It is to me a fundamental right to have access universally to information," he said.

  2. Fund it with tax dollars--or do you want to roll back all civil rights and repeal the right to vote for blacks???!

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:26 PM   1 comments
 
Up Hill Both Ways
Back when I was a young man, we didn't have CDs or the Internet. If we wanted to play video games, we spent all night typing the programs in from magazines.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:24 PM   1 comments
 
Book Report: The Night Spider by John Lutz (2003)


I inherited this book from my aunt; she paid fifty cents for it at a yard sale, probably to resell on eBay. She would have gotten a pretty good deal on a common thriller had she been inclined to read it. Hey, I liked it well enough. As some of you know, John Lutz is a St. Louis writer who sets his Thomas Horn novels in New York City. I thought it would be a fitting read for a St. Louis writer visiting New York City.

Thomas Horn has to come back to the force to investigate a serial killer who kills young, attractive, single women in high rise apartments by coming in through their windows. That's the plot, and it's a serviceable book. But I not only read this book for the enjoyment, but also the do nots I can apply to my own writing, and I picked up a big set from this book:
  • Do not spend a lot of time, or start the book, with an intimate profile of victims. Their problems and frustrations will ultimately prove meaningless as they're killed imaginatively. Now, I have a lot of problems and frustrations, and I don't need the perspective that they're all meaningless because I might be killed imaginatively. Also, I think the trick wastes space and the reader's time.

  • Avoid describing characters by saying they look like celebrities. That's a cheap shortcut. Who cares if the problematic and frustrated by (allegedly) attractive young woman looks like Helen Hunt? In a couple of pages she'll be deader than Helen Hunt's career.

  • The psycho super Special Forces/black ops antagonist. Come on, that's been low-hanging fruit since World War I or World War II and accelerated by Viet Nam. How about a couple psycho super special vegans for once?

  • Grafting on a Part II as an afterthought so to involve the rest of a special forces team who murder to cover for the psycho? Don't do it.
Even with those lessons, it's a decent enough book. If you're into suspense or St. Louis authors, you could do worse.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:14 PM   0 comments
Monday, October 03, 2005
 
My First Trip to New York, Short Version, Chapter 2
Wherein Heather channels Homer:
mmm, De Beers

Mmm, De Beers


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:00 PM   0 comments
Sunday, October 02, 2005
 
My First Trip to New York, Short Version.
It's all fun until your hotel catches fire.

Hilton New York's Rooms Advertised Incorrectly As Non-Smoking



- posted by Brian J. @ 4:55 PM   1 comments
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."