Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
 
Book Report: The World's Best Dirty Jokes by Mr. "J" (1976, 1979)
If future archeologists unearth a copy of this tome, they will undoubtedly think that the 1970s were a repressed period. I mean, this book collects some jokes that might have been considered dirty circa 1948, but in the 1970s, mildly off color words weren't shocking enough to cause startled laughter in joke listeners, much less joke readers.

This book was originally published in 1976, but I purchased a special 1979 printing at the YMCA for a buck. Let that be your guide. I bought it at a fundraiser at the Young Man's Christian Association in 2005. Jeez, I knew better dirty jokes in 1979, and I was in elementary school.

It's hard to belive that only a couple of years later, local radio personality Frank O. Pinion released the definitive dirty joke book--which I read surrepitiously during my middle school years. The book featured the famous Willy Nelson joke, which I remember and can recite to this day. But the contents of this book--The World's Best Dirty Jokes, I remind you, gentle reader--I have already forgotten.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:26 PM   0 comments
 
Irishman Known For Playing British Man Says Something Disparaging About US in France
So what?

Is it any coincidence he's not a member of our national security or foreign policy team? No, I think it's the lack of credentials.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:56 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
 
The Certainty of Leadership
Nothing is as comforting as the certainty of leaders. For example, we can cull the following list from the story entitled Roundabouts are coming - and traffic flow may never be the same:
  • city officials say

  • officials believe

  • traffic engineers say

  • "They are definitely gaining in popularity," said Larry Hagen of the Center for Urban Transportation Research at the University of South Florida.

  • The proliferation of roundabouts could do more than ease traffic congestion, some hope.

  • proponents say

  • some roundabout advocates hope

  • "I'd like to see us go like France," Russell said. "They've got about 25,000 now."
But perhaps I too-easily mock leadership. After all, there's some definitive certainty in the article:
    Columbus Circle, built in New York City in 1904, is considered the country's first traffic circle, and was followed by hundreds more, mostly in the northeast, Russell said. Now, in some parts of the northeast, transportation officials are working to get rid of the circles and replace them with signalized intersections or updated roundabouts.

    "We're currently initiating a program where we're attempting to eliminate as many as possible," said Brendan Gill, a spokesman for the New Jersey Department of Transportation. "Essentially, they're antiquated. They're not built to handle the volume of traffic we're currently handling."
But it's hard to blur and soften the edges of those sentiments, wot?


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:00 PM   0 comments
Monday, September 05, 2005
 
Book Report: The Power of Judyism by Judy Tenuta (1991)
I bought this book at the Carondolet YMCA book fair. I spent a $1.00 on it, but I justified it on these factors:
  • It's a stated first edition.

  • It's a signed stated first edition, with the inscription "To Stevie - My favorite stud-puppy--bend over! Love, Judy Tenuta".

  • In the late 1980s, I thought Judy Tenuta was kinda hot.
So I picked this book as my most recent nonfiction reading material. It's 212 pages, but those pages make judicious use of white space, drawings, and photography that proved that Judy Tenuta was kinda hot in 1991, in a disturbed sort of way. Hey, I was in my late teens. Disturbed but hot would continue to feed my tastes for another half decade yet. She's also got another luminary of the era, Emo Phillips, in some of the photos. Hey, where did he go? You know, I thought he had a cult following when I was clicking through Hot or Not profiles and saw a lot of chicks born in 1985 continued to appreciate emo. But I digress.

The book, coupled with the last book by a comedienne I thought was hot in 1990 (Rita Rudner, Naked Beneath My Clothes), defines the difference between humor and shtick. Judy Tenuta, with her Love Goddess persona and accordion, represent one, and Rita Rudner, with her musings on life and pointed pauses with lips pursed, represents the other. One translates well to books, and the other doesn't. One ages well, and one does not--I cannot imagine Judy Tenuta running around with the same observations and act now that she's about to trip 50; however, Ms. Rudner can continue with her observations and pursed lips without missing a beat.

I also thought Judy Tenuta was kinda amusing ca. 1990, too, but come to think of it, I don't know I ever saw any extended performance. I think I saw some promos for MTV or VH1 featuring her, but no specials. Otherwise I might have skipped this particular purchase, which depicts how one should worship her and participate in her religion, Judyism. She inserts observations and jokes about commoners and celebrities as they relate to her, but ultimately, it's only one note played on a variety of instruments and called a symponme.

Not to say that the book was totally meritless, as its value as an artifact of history and my personal life (remember 1991 B.C.--before Clinton?). Still, nothing in the book made me laugh out loud or really chuckle. I didn't rush to my beautiful wife to tell her what Tenuta said. Nor, probably, will I ever. But she was kinda hot in 1990. For someone almost my mother's age.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:34 PM   0 comments
 
Geekstacy
A comparison of sizes of science fiction ships and stations.

Ahhh....

(Link seen on Ace of Spades.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:04 PM   0 comments
 
In A Slightly Related Note
'Transporter' carries holiday weekend.

Did you know that the Transporter drives an Audi? I do, and I've never seen either movie; I did, however, see the trailer for Transporter 2 and noted that the Audi logo on the grill of the car was visible no fewer than 9 times in the two minute trailer.


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:48 PM   2 comments
 
He Had Five Years To Prepare
Hillary Clinton: "This time, you won't get away with only having been in office for eight months, Mr. President."
    With many blaming the growing scope of Katrina's devastation on the Bush administration, Sen. Hillary Clinton called yesterday for a 9/11-style probe into how the federal government responded to the crisis.

    "It has become increasingly evident that our nation was not prepared," Clinton (D-N.Y.) said in a letter to Bush asking him to set up a "Katrina Commission."

    "The slow pace of relief efforts in the face of a mounting death toll ... seems to confirm that our ability to respond to cataclysmic disasters has not been adequately addressed," she said.
On the other hand, if she does become president, imagine the fun her opponents will have when conducting "non-partisan" commission-based and tax-wasting inquiries like the one she proposes here.


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:35 PM   0 comments
 
Book Report: The Devil's Code by John Sandford (2000)
Since I didn't group it with the Prey novels I inherited from my aunt (Easy Prey, Chosen Prey, and Naked Prey), I overlooked this book until now, and it worked its way to the back of my "to read" bookshelves.

The book centers upon a series character named Kidd who's a computer hacker. The book is five years old, but it's weathered fairly well; Sandford keeps the specifics of the technology to a minimum. Ergo, he's not made laughable mistakes in the world of 2000 which computer people would spot and it prevents early obsolescence of the book. Also, Kidd gets out of the basement and doesn't spend a whole lot of the book hacking. Instead, he's social engineering, reconnoitering, and breaking and entering. So it's more gripping, less dated.

The plot: a former associate of Kidd's has gotten killed after inadvertantly poking into some conspiracy among NSA or near-NSA types, and he left a message for Kidd just in case something were to happen to him. That something does happen, and Kidd's skeptical. However, Kidd finds himself listed as the member of a non-existent hacker group identified as a high priority target for law enforcement, they force Kidd to investigate and retaliate--not so much out of his sense of vengeance, but his instinct for survival.

It's a serviceable book, better than the Prey series where the main character, Lucas Davenport, field marshals a team as they deal with political pressures and solve high-profile cases. Still, Kidd depends upon a support network, so he doesn't fit the lone wolf archetype in suspense novels. He's also a Democrat, like Davenport, whose political asides tend to run to the sniggering at the Republicans. The asides don't detract from my enjoyment of the book, but I am aware of them.

So it's worth a buck or two in the used book store, certainly. Perhaps even five on the remainder table, and perhaps I'll explore the other books in the series once I get through the hundreds of volumes remaining on the "to read" shelves.


- posted by Brian J. @ 2:03 PM   0 comments
Sunday, September 04, 2005
 
Paranoia Shidoshi Bows In Respect to Mayor Nagin
Brother Paranoia Shidoshi Ray Nagin saith:
    "Today was a turning point, I think," he said. "My philosophy is never get too high, never get too low. ... I always try to keep my emotions in check and yesterday I kind of went off a little bit. I was worried about that, but it maybe worked out. I don't know. If the CIA slips me something and next week you don't see me, you'll all know what happened."
A marvel of paranoid thought which I admire.

Speaking of which, I haven't posted much about Katrina, neither denigrating foolish government idiocy on one hand or grasping, needling mewling from dependent citizenry on the other hand. And if the CIA slips me something and next week you don't see me you will all know what happened.

I will have gotten too busy doing my freaking job to find a blog entry form or a television camera.

(Although I'd seen this story all day, it was Baldilocks's entry that I saw last before I couldn't take it any more and had to post.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:09 PM   0 comments
 
Lessons from Katrina
Friends and family plan on the cellular phone? Hell, no.

If you and your spouse or you and your friends have contracts with different companies, you'll also be on different networks. Ergo, you'll have redundancy so that if one cellular network goes down, you're not dependent upon it and can call for help if the second cellular network remains operational.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:17 PM   0 comments
Saturday, September 03, 2005
 
What Didn't Need To Be Said
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch points out the obvious: Katrina dwarfs our Flood of '93:
    Water was the enemy in both disasters, but observers say the Midwest's Great Flood of 1993 pales in comparison to what is unfolding now along the Gulf Coast.
It also pales in comparison to the disappointment I experienced when my lunch at the downtown Thai place was listed as two iconic flames' worth of hot on the menu, but wasn't very hot at all.

But I see how some local observers could mistake the scale of some upper middle class West County St. Louis being forced from their homes with the destruction of an entire city and devestation of parts of three states. Still, I'm sure the end result will be the same: hubristic and federally-funded reconstruction and further overdevelopment in disaster-susceptible areas.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:17 PM   0 comments
 
Now That's Thorough
Relatives file wrongful death suits:
    Relatives of five people killed July 28 in a fiery wreck on Interstate 44 in Eureka, near the Six Flags St. Louis amusement park, have filed wrongful death suits in St. Louis County Circuit Court.

    The suits were among 1,400 filed in the county last week, before a new law capping damage awards in civil cases took effect.
The situation:
    A dump truck loaded with rock and driven by Thomas Miskel, of Imperial, smashed into the back of Huckaba's 2000 Dodge Caravan, shoving the minivan into four vehicles and across a frontage road before the wreckage erupted in flames.
How many suits? Five: one for each victim of the single accident.

The plaintiffs?
  • The driver of the truck, natch.

  • Bourbeuse River Hauling, the company that owns the truck.

  • H & H Freight Services, which provided the contract driver for Bourbeuse.

  • Millstone Bangert Inc., the company that hired the truck to deliver the rock to its construction site.

  • Kenworth of St. Louis, the mechanics who worked on the truck and should have known it wouldn't stop in time.

  • Six Flags, for apparently building a theme park nearby which people would look at or attend.

  • The state of Missouri for its poor design of the highway.

  • The city of Eureka, for not stopping traffic backup at the highway exit where the accident occurred.
Why not sue Dodge, for not making fourth, fifth, and sixth brake lights? The parents of the driver, for bringing a child capable of such evil into the world? The painting contractor who puts the lines on the highways and the makers of the asphalt for not providing enough traction for stopping?

Perhaps those are defendants for another day.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:48 PM   1 comments
 
Book Report: Hark! by Ed McBain (2004)
I bought this book at the Carondolet YMCA for $4.00, but it's in almost new condition, and I hadn't read this book, and Ed McBain died this summer. So again I set aside my normal reluctance to spend that much money on a book.

Hark! is a Deaf Man book. There's no other way to put it. Normal crime goes out the window in this book, as the Deaf Man again taunts the boys (and girl) of the 87th Precinct with a set of clues about what he plans to do, knowing that they won't be able to stop him. Or so he thinks.

As always, these books include a lot of details in the lives of the characters. McBain kept up a tight schedule on publishing these novels, particularly in the last couple of years, so we can forgive him for what might have been an increased serialization of the private lives--although the books always had some of that. Something else striking about this book is that it refers to actual contemporary political figures--Bush and Blair--, contemporary musicians--the John Pizarelli trio--, and contemporary events--the war in Iraq. His earlier books used common nouns or made-up details, which has preserved their longevity and readability into the present. For example, a veteran returning from "the war" proved a relatively malleable archetype: it could have been Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf War, or the current wars depending upon the decade in which the reader encounters the book. By naming specifics, McBain has limited the future reach of these books.

But one can become as morose as Travis McGee lamenting that not only is the concept of reading books becoming meaningless in man's blithe march into media-mandated illiteracy and technologically-enabled idiocy, but with Ed McBain's death, the potential number of 87th Precinct novels (or at least those for which Evan Hunter is responsible) has become finite and the actual number of books I have not read will now slowly tick down to zero, much like life itself.

Man, that's depressing. I think I'll while some of that time away mindlessly by playing Civilization.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:31 AM   0 comments
 
Book Report: The Empty Copper Sea by John D. MacDonald (1978)
I paid a whole $3.00 for this book at the Carondolet YMCA Book Fair last weekend. It's a lot for me to pay for a book, I know, but this one is a stated first edition. So I threw it in my box. As you know, gentle reader, John D. MacDonald is one of my favorite authors, and to get one of his first editions for only three dollars, well, I'd make that purchase any day of the week. Because of my love for JDM, I didn't evaluate the book coldly, rationally, like a true book collector, otherwise I would have noted the pen scribbling--hopefully by a child--inside the front and back cover and perhaps the slight molding on the spine. But since I'm thrilled to have this first edition for my collection and not for investment purposes, it will do.

An old seafaring acquaintance of Travis McGee commissions the salvage expert to find and return his good name. Captain Van Harder was found passed out aboard the ship he was piloting after its owner fell overboard. Although he battled and conquered drinking demons in his youth, no one believes him that he only had one drink on the job, and his license and livelihood are revoked. McGee travels to the gulf coast of Florida with his friend Meyer to investigate the disappearance of the owner. As his business was on the rocks, could the owner have slipped a mickey to his captain and friend to stage a disappearance to Mexico? It certainly looks that way.

I cannot really say anything bad about this novel without trying very hard, so I won't bother. I paid $3.00 for a book I'd already ready and might already own and I read it the same week I bought it. Let that guide your thinking about my opinion of the book.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:49 AM   0 comments
Thursday, September 01, 2005
 
Inappropriate Metaphor of the Day
From a fundraising plea junk mail from the Alzheimer's Disease Research Program of the American Health Assistance Foundation, of whom I've never heard before and to whom I will never send any money whatsoever:
Major news in the research on Alzheimer's:
Researchers funded by Alzheimer's Disease Research including TWO Nobel prize winners--have made breakthrough discoveries that may signla the end of Alzheimer's reign of terror!


Alzheimer's reign of terror? Lord, love a duck, poorly written, poorly metaphored... I say we make it a trifecta by making it poorly funded, too.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:32 PM   0 comments
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."