Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
 
Weber and Dolan Are My True Masters
Woohoo! My first Saw Doctors CD arrived in the mail today.

I know, after listening for six years, you would think I would have one by now; however, every time I looked for them in the local music shops, they weren't in stock. I am always so very slow to Amazon one.

Feel free to use that new verb in your sentences from now on: To Amazon (v tr). I Amazon it, you Amazon it, he she or it Amazons it, we Amazon it. Remember, to keep the short o sound, when you add a suffix, it's Amazonned, Amazonning, Amazonner.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:44 PM   0 comments
 
Book Report: Felton & Fowler's Best, Worse, and Most Unusual by Bruce Felton and Mark Fowler (1975)
I probably inherited this book from my aunt, and I selected it because I'm a sucker for book of list sorts of things and other capsulated books where I can browse and pick up trivial knowledge. Like who Beethoven thought was the best composer ever, and so on. Of course, I'm not going to tell you the answer. If you want to know, you'll just have to wait for the question to come my way in competition, and hope you're snacking on pretzel rods at my table in trivia night and not sitting across the table from me, rubbing your unused pie pieces like Captain Queeg.

The book crosses into some gauche territory, with its descriptions of how to best butcher and prepare human flesh for consumption, and into some unintentionally tragic territory, such as awarding Worst Office Building Honors to the World Trade Center. But it's a good bit of reading, amusing, and unfortunately not something to take as gospel. For its text describes the worst sport, which the Aztecs of Peru..... Well, never you mind, it still provides authoritative answers to unasked trivia questions which might prove true.

But not the Aztecs of Peru.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:56 PM   0 comments
 
Scientists Discover Paradox in Pop Song; Universe Collapses Upon Itself
Vanessa Carlton, "A Thousand Miles":
    Making my way downtown
    Walking fast
    Faces pass
    And I'm homebound
How can she be walking fast downtown if she's homebound? This paradox clearly threatens the universe as we know it, and we can all blame our impending annihilation upon Vanessa Carlton.

UPDATE: A respected correspondent writes and offers proof that this does not mean that the true and the impossible have not collided in the universe due to this song, as the narrator of the song might use the mechanism of astral projection to walk, using a spirit body, downtown. We thank the correspondent for his insight and credit him with the continued presence of existence as we know it.

UPDATE: Another correspondent, albeit one of somewhat less savory character, points out that homebound is actually two words in the text: home bound. This means that she is actually, at the time, tied to a chair in her kitchen/dining room and is still not capable of being home, bound, and walking downtown; however, the astral projection postulate holds, and this second correspondent will be disappointed to learn that he cannot upset the balance of the universe that easily.


- posted by Brian J. @ 2:10 PM   2 comments
 
Too Little, Too Late
Wait, I have a great nickname idea for Marquette University:

The Marquette Interchange.

Because I think it would be an apt metaphor for a bloated, overpriced re-evaluation and update.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:03 AM   1 comments
Sunday, June 05, 2005
 
Admission of Problem the First Step to Recovery
On the day of Atari Party 5.2, I convinced my beautiful wife to come to a couple garage sales. I don't know why she agreed, as we were holding a large party that evening and anyone who cares about others' impressions of her domicile would have been stressed about the "presentation layer" of the home, and she doesn't even like yard sales.

But came she did, and it was wise that she carried the bankroll. Because I encountered a deal. A Commodore 64 C in a refurbisher's box with the Commodore 1541-II disk drive for $25. I looked it over; no software, even though GEOS was supposedly included (for you damn kids, Graphical Environment Operating System was a graphical operating system, a la Mac or Windows, for the C64). At $20, I would have snapped it up, but since it broke the double-sawbuck territory, I couldn't do it.

As we were in somewhat of a hurry (the Atari Party had a scheduled start time, and we did have some interface tweaks to perform on Honormoor, the Noggle estate, before the party), I didn't even pause to offer a single sawbuck. Besides, I already own an original C64 with a working 1541 drive. So I couldn't justify the expense to my wife, although perhaps if I had the cash in my wallet, I could have.

So we got home, and I wanted to hook up a Commodore 64 for party decoration. Sadly, that's all it's become; the party goers don't tolerate the load time on the 1541, we discovered in Atari Party IV, when we connected a Commodore 64 and preloaded Castle Wolfenstein; after the first death and reload, the party members wandered off while the old machine spinned. But I wanted one hooked up for Atari Party 5.2, since we had space for it and we have a monochrome monitor for it. When I opened the cabinet where we keep the Commodore 64, but never the Commodore 64 C we passed up, I realized I might have a problem:

The Commodore 64 hoard

I already own five Commodore 64s, including the one I took to college as my primary computer (a gift from my mother), and three in their original boxes.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am an old computer hoarder.

Whenever I find an old computer at a garage sale or an estate sale at a reasonable (or irrational) price, I must buy it. I'm not talking old IBM clones whose processors I've made into geek-amusement magnets, I mean old 1980s computers.

I own:
  • 5 Commodore 64s, including 3 1541 drives.

  • 2 TI 99/4as. I don't have the Dataset, but I do have the Speech Synthesizer module, which I haven't actually tested yet. I don't have a working set of joysticks, yet, which sucks since most of my dozen cartridges are games. Also, note that the two TIs I have now are the latest in my possession; I've owned 4 in my life; the preceding two also came in the 1990s, after the TI was way obsolete.

  • 1 Laser 200, a computer I never heard of until I bought the one which languishes on my closet shelf. It booted, though, and I paid a couple bucks for it.
Most of these machines, not to mention my 4 Nintendo Entertainment Systems and 5 or so Atari 2600s and 2 Sega Geneses, languish on my closet shelves for 364 days a year or, in some cases, for 729 days every two years. I want to own these machines because I don't want other people to throw them away.

I am an old computer hoarder.
Admitting this is the first step in receiving help. I know that now.

So if you know of a Commodore 64 C with 1541-II or Commodore 128 with 1571 that I can buy for under $20, please pass along the information.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:37 PM   6 comments
 
Another Entrepreneur Outsources Smart Business to the State
Within a story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch entitled "Zippy craft, young riders are making waves" (subtitle: "Missouri has joined Illinois in focusing on boating education certificates for younger boaters."), we find an entrepreneur abdictating his responsibility to the state government, and to the taxpayers.

The business problem:
    Another pair of wrecked Wave Runners. Just the latest.

    One of them - a $3,500 machine that can hit 70 mph - sat with its front end sheared off outside Mike Lynn's rental shop. The two watercraft had crashed in a game of "cat and mouse," although both riders escaped injury.

    Nine of 10 watercraft at Lynn's Bikini Pier Rental, a shop in the shadows of the Grand Glaize Bridge, come back damaged.
Lynn lauds the solution:
    But a new Missouri law effective Jan. 1 is aimed at curbing these accidents, especially among younger drivers, who need to be only 14 to pilot such a craft alone. State residents younger than 21 are now required get a boating safety identification card by passing a boater education course.

    The new card is required to operate all motorized vessels on Missouri lakes, even when renting one. A card costs $15.

    "It's going to help. It's got to help," Lynn said. "I'm all for it."     [Emphasis added.]
Mr. Lynn favors state registration of young Seadoo riders because he is unwilling to forego renting to riders under 21 because that would cost him revenue. Instead, he wants to spend my money and add layers of government bureaucracy to license young people, which will result in a piece of paper they need to carry, and might reduce the 90% damage to his business's property that is rented to these underage riders. Pardon me while I do the math:
    .9 * (percentage of underage rentals * safer riding because of certification)
So if certification makes underage riders 25% safer, and if Lynn rents 25% of his business to people under 21 with the certification.... Crikey, man, I have a philosophy/English degree, not a degree in something useful like figurin'. Still, it seems like a small impact on Lynn's bottom line.

But it's a free impact since we the Missouri taxpayers are paying for it. Were I a strict entrepreneur, with nothing but the betterment of my business as my highest principle, goal, and directive, I would be all for it, too.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:59 PM   1 comments
 
Wrong Theorem
Within the tale of passive/aggressive neighbor conflict entitled "Feud escalates between neighbors in Eureka", the St. Louis Post-Dispatch captures this fallacious theorem:
    According to Virginia-based Community Associations Institute, one in six Americans live in communities governed by indentures, in part because the added layer of governance can assure harmony and stable property values. [Emphasis added.]
Each additional layer of governance provides an extra set of cudgels with which people can bash each other and new arbitrary rules with which to punish the undesirable guilty. But those who trade liberty for property-price security deserve neither, and really deserve a couple of correctional knocks to the side of the head like an old television slightly resistant to an Atari 2600 signal. The same amount of cursing, too.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:49 PM   0 comments
 
What, No Schedules?
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch runs this story in the Sunday paper: Radioactive waste will roll through area. They include a map with the exact route the trucks carrying radioactive waste will use when driving through the St. Louis metropolitan area.

The free press, to gin up outrage, provides almost all the details the terrorists would need to implement the worst case scenario about which the free press foments its outrage.

I am not advocating censorship, but perhaps a sense of our free press that perhaps it's unseemly to shout "There could be a fire!" in a crowded theater.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:35 PM   0 comments
 
Working It Into the Budget
Hopefully, the boss won't catch this line item on the budget and question why QA needs an imposing, slightly sinister Imperial TIE Fighter workstation.

Although perhaps I should hold out for the fully-functional Death Star model.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:59 PM   0 comments
 
Professor Bainbridge Presents the False Dilemma
Sharp logicians like your humble blogger here understand this is the false dilemma fallacy.

Dean might be both an idiot and a liar.


- posted by Brian J. @ 12:06 PM   1 comments
Saturday, June 04, 2005
 
Apoplexy Rose Now
Scene from my cassette rack:

Apoplexy Rose Now
Click for full size

Axl Rose had nightmares like this.


- posted by Brian J. @ 12:49 PM   0 comments
Friday, June 03, 2005
 
Two Things That Do Not Belong Together
A Dalek's voice saying "Ex-fol-i-ate! Ex-fol-i-ate!"

Old school geeks are now cursing me because that's going to stick in their heads.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:03 PM   1 comments
 
Only So Many Picket Signs to Go Around
That must be the reason that supporters of Michael Jackson had a number of anti-Bush signs outside the courtroom in California where Michael Jackson's trial is occurring.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:09 PM   0 comments
 
The Littlest State
Wow, this makes West Virginia sound small:
    An RMS Strategies Poll released today reports that 46 percent of 401 registered voters in West Virginia would vote for Byrd if the election were held now.
Or apathetic. But I guess they mean a sample of registered voters, not that there are only 401 actual registered voters in the entire state.

(Link seen on Captain's Quarters.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 2:29 PM   0 comments
 
Conundrum for the Left
Hero or villain? A gun enthusiast who was jailed for performing abortions when they were illegal.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:56 AM   0 comments
Thursday, June 02, 2005
 
Night Vision Goggles An Investment
Seat Belt Violators Caught By Cops Wearing Night Vision Goggles:
    Maryland State Police say they issued 111 tickets last night in a seat belt enforcement operation in Rockville.
111 x
    The fine for not wearing a seat belt in Maryland is 25 dollars.
111 x 25 = 2775!

Three thousand bucks per night in a small enforcement operation in a single town. Those night vision goggles not only pay for themselves, but they pay for the cops who wear them, and probably a couple days of meals on wheels to boot.

Thank you for making seatbelt offenses a primary offense, giving incentive to law enforcement to pull over people who aren't wearing their seatbelts after dark instead of chasing hardened criminals who might shoot back.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:06 PM   1 comments
 
Journalistic Forgery?
Unfortunate headline, or passive-aggressive editor knocking new ownership of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch?

Lee forges name for autonomy at papers


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:37 AM   0 comments
 
Government Driving Private Businesses Out of Business
Now that Wisconsin taxpayers, through a special "district," have built a new theatre, an existing theatre group is closing up shop:
    A representative of New Riverside said last month that the arrival of the new Milwaukee Theatre, the taxpayer-supported venue under the control of the Wisconsin Center District, was "driving us out of business." The Milwaukee Theatre opened in November 2003.

    The managers of both venues generally compete for the same artists. In one case, comedian Jerry Seinfeld opted to go with the new Milwaukee Theatre instead of the Riverside. New Riverside officials said last month that Seinfeld rejected the Riverside even though the rental fee was waived.
I hate to see government-benefitted enterprises drive out private enterprises, as they will eventually lead to dependence on the government to provide those services.

Yes, this is contrary to what I wrote in November 2003, when I mocked the Riverside for predicting its own demise because of the competition. But you, gentle reader, understand that I am a finger-in-the-wind sort of guy and not the sort who can find fault in government funding of this sort and in entrepreneurs who claim that competition (government funded or not) will drive them out of business.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:14 AM   0 comments
 
The Shape of Things to Come
Microsoft Will Drop 'My' Prefix for Longhorn:
    If you are a Microsoft user, there's a big change coming in Longhorn -- the code name for the next MS operating system: the "My" prefix is disappearing.

    Microsoft users have become used to the "My Music," "My Pictures," and other "My" folders, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, reported. Those Windows folders will still be yours -- but they won't keep hitting you over the head with that terminology.

    Ending a longstanding tradition, Microsoft says, starting in the next Windows version due out next year, folders will be known simply as "Documents," "Music," and so on.
It's a precursor to renaming all folders and whatnot as Our Computer, Our Music, Our Documents, and so on.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:04 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
 
Today at Draft Matt Blunt....
William Squire (not to be confused with Billy Squier) opines about those who think all charity starts at the state capital:
    Bible teachings, much like the lessons from any religion, are designed as a guide for your personal life. The Bible is not a behavioral guide for state and federal governments. Governments have limited jurisdictions and powers. By reducing state overhead, and avoiding tax increases, Matt Blunt leaves money in your pocket to contribute to charity in any way you, or your religion deem appropriate.
Preach on, brother. But would it kill you to throw in a guitar solo?


- posted by Brian J. @ 2:52 PM   0 comments
 
Advance in Robotic Upskirt Photography Technology
Oh, sure, the Roborior is designed to be a home security device, but listen to what it does:
    The $2,600 (280,000 yen) contraption by Japanese robot maker Tmsuk Co. and electronics company Sanyo Electric Co. (SANYY) can connect with the owner's mobile phone to relay streaming video taken on the robot's digital camera.

    It can be remote-controlled with a handset to go forward, backward, left or right. The buttons also adjust the angle of the digital camera to look up or down.
Were I to submit this to Fark, I'd use the headline New home security robot will protect your home, shoot Sarah Connor.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:37 AM   0 comments
 
BOHICA, St. Louis: The New Forest Park Tax is Coming
I spent a half hour on the phone with a research firm last night, hopefully helping to squelch a bad idea. The research firm wanted to gauge my support for a tax increase in St. Louis City and St. Louis County to fund Forest Park.

Hey, the questions really offered me all the options: A sales tax increase or a property tax increase; controlled by St. Louis City, one of the existing tax-spending unelected district bodies, or a new independent body designed to suck tax money; used specifically to improve Forest Park, used for Forest Park and St. Louis City parks, or used for Forest Park and parks in your neighborhood.

Of course, I said I would not approve any increase in taxes. I recognize that any increase in taxes earmarked for some specific project means that the government will spend the savings on other continuing, expanding programs that could, sometime in the future, exceed current revenue, requiring the government to float the idea of a targeted tax that sits atop all other general taxes.

Plus, it gives visionary leaders like Rod Blagojevich funds to raid for ongoing expenses. (h/t Free Will.)

The very nature of the questioning on the survey indicates that the very best bureaucratic minds are working and spending money they cannot allocate to actually improving Forest Park on getting some sort of tax increase on the ballot. Hey, it's only one fifth of one percent, is that too much?

It's not a lot in its own, but each ballot initiative accumulates, and each one represents a double tax increase: not only are we paying for whatever the tax targets, but the money left over in the general funds will instead purchase a new program with ongoing and growing expenses.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:23 AM   0 comments
 
Call Arnold Schwarzeneggar!
It sounds like another sequel is needed:
    More than a fifth of the planet's bird species face extinction as humans venture further into their habitats and introduce alien predators, an environmental group said on Wednesday. [Emphasis added]
Slather on some mud, Mr. Governor. Aliens threaten our birds.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:34 AM   0 comments
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."