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Musings from Brian J. Noggle
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Saturday, April 30, 2005
In the Wild, He'd Be Dinner When the frightening roofing salesman comes, Tristan hides under the bed: ![]() Badly. When You Don't Post Right Away When the missing Georgia woman appeared in New Mexico with a tale of abduction, I scented some fully-processed bovine food. But I didn't post fast enough, since she's admitted she was not abducted after all.
But Wilbanks soon recanted, according to police. Ray Schultz, chief of police in Albuquerque, said Wilbanks "had become scared and concerned about her impending marriage and decided she needed some time alone." He said she traveled to Las Vegas by bus before going to Albuquerque. But I'm just the suspicious type. That's why I have tapped my own phone to see what my beautiful wife is plotting. Friday, April 29, 2005
Headline: Heh What are the odds of that?
Of course, I oppose the legislation. It's arbitrary and capricious whimsy on the part of the government. 13, not 14. Why 13? Because that's how many boats currently exist or are pending. As a good libert Double Jeopardy and Three Strikes I don't favor recreational arson and illegal gun possession, but I'm happy with this ruling:
This ruling would indicate that pissed-off prosecutors won't get automatic life sentences for the criminal whom they convict if only the prosecutors can find or stretch three felony counts to blanket a single crime. Because you never know when blogging against law enforcement to incite changes in criminal laws , blogging across interstate lines, and excessive use of italics in blog posts might criminalized, and by a single act that doesn't neccesarily involve violence or wrongdoing, you might be eligible for life in prison. (Submitted as an entry to Outside the Beltway's Beltway Traffic Jam, if only the trackback thing would work.) Infighting Apparently, certain segments of organized labor oppose environmentalism:
The local began the picket about 7 p.m. and will continue its protest at the contaminated site until cleanup work is completed. That could take about three months. The cleanup is being done by Bodine Environmental of Decatur. Thursday, April 28, 2005
Spot the False Dilemma Perhaps following the lead of Washington University protesting students, high school students staged a protriot when the school district superintendent fired their best friend, the principal:
No, gentle reader, I just wanted to demonstrate my superior logic skills, gleaned from the several sessions of Philosophy 001 - Logic classes at Marquette University through which I did not sleep. Ergo, gaze upon the following passage and note the false dilemma:
Short Memory Some dude in the LA Times thinks Google should buy a newspaper:
I have one word for them: AOLTimeWarner Too Quick a Judgment The "authorities" say it was an accident:
What had the horse seen that would drive it to suicide? Book Report: The Weather of the Heart by Madeleine L'Engle (1978) I bought this book from the local library's discard pile for a quarter because I recognized the name and because I recognize that I don't get enough poetry in my reading diet. Reading this book didn't really change that anemia. The first poems in the book, including "Within This Quickened Dust", "To a Long Loved Love" (1-7), and "Lovers Apart", dealt with concrete images dealing with common themes in poetry. Their language was descriptive and evocative. Unfortunately, she too soon declines to abstractions meant to evoke abstractions, particularly her love of God. She even evokes Emily Dickinson about three poems after I unfavorably compared the two. L'Engle's poems deal with similar subjects and have similar layers of abstractions twisting upon themselves, but when the poems start out bad, they end bad; with Emily Dickinson, they might be unfathomable, but sometimes a turn of phrase embedded within the poem can redeem the poems. Not so with L'Engle. Which made them easier to read, or more to the point, easier to scan and forget. Senator Bond-and-Spend Looks like "Republican" Senator Bond wants to spend lots of money, and those lots aren't enough:
"This bill is long overdue," Sen. Christopher "Kit" Bond, R-Mo., a lead sponsor the legislation, said as lawmakers began debate on Tuesday. "Our roads are deteriorating, (highway) safety is deteriorating." But even as he championed the legislation, Bond and other lawmakers said the $284 billion price tag was not enough to meet the nation's needs. And they vowed to include more money in the bill, even though the White House has signaled that $284 billion is the maximum the president would accept. Probably only as shortsighted as we actually are. We Got Your Orwellian Right Here Over at Q and O, McQ invokes Orwell describing Zimbabwe's plan to slaughter animals in national parks to feed the peasants. McQ says:
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
It's Humor, but It's Truth Teachers' Union Suit Sparks 'No Bureaucrat Left Behind':
"When I read the NEA lawsuit," said Mr. Bush, "I realized that as long as we funnel education money through Washington D.C., we provide teachers' unions with an excuse for their poor performance. Blame Bush. Blame Congress. Blame the Department of Education. But if all the money is raised and spent at the local level, then taxpayers can hold the unions accountable." My Hero Security for the Paranoid:
I don't just throw out shredded documents; I spread the shredded bits into my garden to use as mulch. I don't do it because I think someone is going to go through my trash to reassemble bits of my research notes. I do it because it's good security. I try to run my own network the same way I tell my clients to. Public Benefits Trump Private Rights At least California's Attorney General is not hiding his totalitarian instincts:
California lawmakers are doing something!!!1!, which should get them in the paper and, occasionally, on the blogs. That's an Interesting Way To Characterize His Fumbling Pro Bowler Green arrested in domestic violence incident Me, I hope this turns out to be nothing. So far, none of the stories give evidence that he did anything other than possibly hanging up a 911 call. Oddly Reasonable I don't normally read left-of-center blogs, but I find Blame Bush! oddly compelling.... Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Waukesha County Board Repeals Law of Supply and Demand Laws of economics are more malleable than those of physics as far as Waukesha County, Wisconsin, are concerned, and municipal government bodies can repeal them at will:
Too bad it wasn't a sports facility of some sort instead of a health care provider, undoubtedly the government of Waukesha County would not only have approved the building, but would have made the citizens pay for it. An English Treat Concern over rise of 'happy slapping' craze:
In a third, Bank Job, a teenager is seen assaulting a hole-in-the-wall customer while another youth grabs the money he has just withdrawn from the cash machine. Welcome to the disturbing world of the "happy slappers" - a youth craze in which groups of teenagers armed with camera phones slap or mug unsuspecting children or passersby while capturing the attacks on 3g technology. According to police and anti-bullying organisations, the fad, which began as a craze on the UK garage music scene before catching on in school playgrounds across the capital last autumn, is now a nationwide phenomenon. Rationalization But, honey, look! ![]() It's a vitamin-fortified danish! It's good for me! I think I'll have two. Book Review: The Official Rules at Work by Paul Dickson (1996) I bought this book for $5.98 at Barnes and Noble because it looked interesting and because I had a gift card to blow. It's a collection of aphorisms and "laws" coined by columnist, commentators, and humorists covering the workplace, and to be honest, covering working for the government in a lot of cases. It's a quick read, and a lot of the axioms and maxims provide crystallizations of core truths in a handy fashion that allow you to quip them. For example, I'm going to use It's easier to defend consistency than correctness as soon as possible. Also, it was a quick read while I work on the longer fiction books that I'm reading. And to let you, gentle readers, that I am still literate. Roeper on Tattoos Roeper on tattoos:
Still, one day it will ebb. Today's 10-year-old will become tomorrow's 20-year-old, who doesn't want to have anything to do with what mom and dad think is cool. I can see a college kid in 2015 saying, "My mother has my name tattooed on her neck. I mean, is she old-fashioned or what?" Inadvertent Movement Member Apparently, there's an insurgency of fiscal apathy in the Republican Party: the Not One Dime movement, wherein Republican contributors withhold contributions. According to the MAWB Squad (and Captain Ed), this movement captures the frustration many feel with the Republicans in the Senate regarding judicial nominees. Sandy of the MAWB Squad says:
Monday, April 25, 2005
Governments Muscle Out Private Swimming Pools Sink or swim: Neighborhood pools struggle to compete with public facilities:
Those facilities are among the factors swamping some neighborhood and subdivision swimming pools, once the staple of the suburbs but now finding it tough to compete with the publicly funded pools. All this to duplicate services offered by these private groups, local gyms, and the YMCAs. When did the equation building waterparks = governance enter our civics textbooks? Probably when the governments found that they could just write it in. Two Words that Don't Belong Together Corset piercing. Ew. Although I don't mind corset Peircing, wherein a woman in lingerie extols Pragmatism. Philosophy majors have the strangest kinks, ainna? Sunday, April 24, 2005
Time to Upgrade My PDA Friends, Romans, and gentle readers who might or might not be men, the time has come for me to buy a new Personal Data Assistant (PDA). I bought my current PDA two years ago to support a trip to Milwaukee. I was taking a number of photographs and wanted a handy mechanism to capture details about each as well as blog entries that struck me while I was on the road. I'd once bought a miniature cassette recorder for the same purpose, but I realized soon that they would require transcription, a skill I lack. So I bought this PDA to help capture those thoughts and to provide me with instant access to the phone numbers and other data I might need while away from my desk, my computer, and my address book.
I expect, then, I'll select another similar PDA when I actually retire this one (in about 40 pages, give or take). Because although I dabble every day in the binary dits and dahs of digital communication, I still value the scratchings in the Noggle TTF that relate my current, older self to the thoughts I had last decade, last year, or only yesterday. Winning Repeat Business Nugget from this story: Skydiver Dies After Striking Plane in Fla.:
Saturday, April 23, 2005
A Fool and His IT Budget Firewall to zap XML viruses:
The 5-year-old company is one of several companies that make software or devices for securing applications that use XML to format data or XML-based communications protocols, called Web services.
But now they've expanded the service to include software that scans for XML Viruses, which are pretty common, hey?
But never mind that; spend the $40,000 and feel good about yourself.
But, hey, if corporations want it, let them have it. Meanwhile, I am hard at work here in the lab to protect corporations from insidious ASCII text file viruses. Did you know that your company uses hundreds or thousands of these potentially hazardous files every day and that they can be transmitted through e-mail attachments or automatically copied from the Internet or across networks. And unlike XML files, ASCII flat files, particularly those with file extensions of .java, .cpp, or .vb, can contain malicious code that can take control of your desktop when executed. Watch soon for the money-sucking Jeracor ASCII Virus Firewall, coming soon. Friday, April 22, 2005
My Office, the Cat Product Advertisement Photo Shoot Set Jeez, how can a man work with all this disruption? ![]() Click for full size I guess that's why I wasn't working when this photo was taken at 6:30 pm one night this week. Unpopular Canaries Ladies and gentlemen, watch what the authorities do to child molestors, because they will eventually take those same measures with other offenders.
Sure, Westchester County only wants sex offenders to wear a bracelet; but sex offenders can take those off. Countdown to mandatory microchipping has begun. The Other Creationism vs. Evolution O'Connor Dismisses Ado Over Int'l Law:
Any other evolution, a la reading the penumbras, emanations, and secret codes inherent in interpreting the rights derived from reading the third letter after every punctuation mark isn't constitutional evolution. It's judicial creationism. (Link seen on Althouse.) Thursday, April 21, 2005
Now That's Offshoring! 600 foreign software developers on a former cruise ship in international waters outside of Los Angeles. It's Sea Code. Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Safer T&A Through Security Cameras More women's bodies protected by security cameras:
Rossi allegedly spent a total of three hours manipulating six of the cameras. He ignored coworkers' warnings that he should not be using the cameras, saying "he did not care since he was not assigned to the substation he would not get in trouble,'' according to the charging documents. Relativism Ben Affleck demonstrates the relative worth of Jennifer Garner vs Jennifer Lopez:
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Implication: You Need a Shredder If You Recycle Here's a feel-good story with a happy ending:
But it wasn't a joke. While sorting paper, a worker at the recycling center spotted the check Monday and saved it from destruction. This message brought to you by someone too paranoid for a shredder. That's Not Junk Data When you're testing and you see a dog breed called Dogo Argentino, you might think that you're seeing junk data since the Spanish word for Dog is perro. But it's not; there really is a breed called Dogo Argentino. Probably junk data that became institutionalized through repetition. Another Right that Compels Someone Senator Barbara Boxer of California has found another right which compels someone to act according to another person's will:
Boxer's proposal would require all pharmacies to fill all prescriptions or refer customers to someone who will, despite pharmacists' religious or ethical objections to the nature of the prescription. Hey, Babbles, I got some other ideas for your brand of Federalism which is far too crashing, snorting, and bellowing to call "creeping Federalism":
Monday, April 18, 2005
Book Report: It by Stephen King (1986) I inherited this book from my aunt, whose legacy filled my to-read shelves with horror and mystery novels. I'm growing to enjoy Stephen King and Dean Koontz, so their presence in my library is welcome. Stephen King is an American master, truly, whose books will be read hundreds of years in the future assuming 1) people still read books, and 2) all American texts have not been burned. First of all, this book is a book without antecedent. Not precedent, but antecedent. When I tried talking about it with my beautiful wife during our evening rambles around the subdivisions in our neighborhood, she couldn't always understand what I was talking about when I referred to It. So I had to say Stephen King's It, like I was titling the miniseries and hoping the name Stephen King would draw viewers which the title alone would not. The book is not without its flaws. This comes from King's Epic period, which spawned The Stand and the beginning of the mercifully-split Dark Tower series. This book weighs in at over 1100 pages, and I hit the AKM (Anna Karenina Moment, wherein the reader realizes he's read enough to have completed one long novel and realizes that he's got the equivalent of one or more novels to go--and is tempted to read one or more complete novels instead). The quality of the writing doesn't suffer, really, but the quantity tends to overwhelm it. The book deals with seven youths who confront an eldritch, foetid horror in Derry, Maine, in 1958, and when the eldritch, foetid, other-worldly horror resurfaces in 1985, the middle-aged children of Derry return to confront it again without the imagination of youth to protect them from unreality. I survived the AKM and pressed on. King weaves a lot of detail into the setting, and even the minor characters take on three and sometimes three-and-a-half dimensions. Still, this adds bulk that wouldn't be afforded to a first-time novelist; agents and editors would bounce this proposal back from anyone but Stephen King. The main characters get their own sections and chapters and great detail. However, I'm not a first time King reader, so I was reading along trying to guess who wouldn't make it. Life, and King, are cruel that way; just when you get to liking someone, a monster rises from the depths and rips off his or her head. Still, somewhere after page five hundred pages, the pace picks up and rushes toward a hundred page climax and forty page dénouement. Overall, I'm pleased with the book and even have the strange desire to see the 1990 television movie equivalent which features Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown--that man has actorial chutzpah. Still, one has to wonder what Stephen King was thinking when he concocted the plot. Did he say to himself, what this book really needs to drive its theme home is group sex in the sewers among eleven and twelve year olds? Because I could have entirely left that little bit out without really corrupting the story. Mad Libs Feature Writing FanC a d8? Never fear, text messaging is here:
"It's such an easy way to break the ice," Holstack said. "Approaching girls in a bar can be so intimidating and this takes the approach part out of the equation. The worst reaction I could have gotten was her not replying and I'll take that over her laughing in my face any day." Holstack, it seems, is not alone. With more than 30 million registered (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) users sending more than 30 billion (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) each month, it's clear that romance seekers like (INSERT TECHNOLOGY USER) will not be without a date for long. More than 50,000 people are registered for (INSERT TECHNOLOGY) in Missouri, with 8,800 in the St. Louis area alone, suggesting that many people are beginning to realize that their (INSERT DEVICE) can also be the key to a successful dating life.
"It's such an easy way to break the ice," Holstack said. "Approaching girls in a bar can be so intimidating and this takes the approach part out of the equation. The worst reaction I could have gotten was her not replying and I'll take that over her laughing in my face any day." Holstack, it seems, is not alone. With more than 350 million registered government-mandated implantees sending more than 30 billion Bluetooth thought transmissions each month, it's clear that romance seekers like 19897267 will not be without a date for long. More than 350,000,000 people are registered for tracking in the United States, with 800 remaining residents in the St. Louis area alone, suggesting that many people are beginning to realize that their proper thoughts can also be the key to a successful dating life. Introducing PETBA Ladies and gentlemen, I want a new organization. I want People for Ethical Treatment By Animals. Because I don't think it's right that people are treated this way by animals:
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Bush's Plan To Turn Europeans into Biogenetic Mutants Thwarted US sent banned corn to Europe for four years:
That's why the United States, as a nation and a single entity, shipped genetically modified corn to Europe. Those who think it might have been a single company's error swallowed in the bureacracy are simplistic and lack the imagination for proper conspiracy-mongering. Saturday, April 16, 2005
Who Are You Going to Believe, My PR or Your Damn Lying Eyes? Spokesperson spokes:
But, he said: "When the political posturing is over, rational people will see that American screeners today are the best we have ever had and that they are limited only by current technology and security procedures that are significantly influenced by privacy demands." "We need more money and less oversight to increase our productivity." When Did Alternative Weeklies Go Nuts? Three quick hitz from the last week's Shepherd Express, which we picked up in Milwaukee but didn't actually use to find activities downtown:
Funny how these sorts of publication laud more Friday, April 15, 2005
Summer of the Bird Attacks Here in Missouri, we're not blessed with sharks, so the media needs to latch onto slightly more, um, mundane trends to carry it through the summer. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch has seized upon just such a pattern of natural disaster with its second story in two days about marauding birds. Today's entry: Boy feels the effect of goose nesting season:
As he set foot on tiny Jolie Isle in Lake Saint Louis on Sunday afternoon with his stepfather, Robert Price, a nesting goose attacked the boy, causing a small but deep gash on his scalp. (First story about bird attacks here.) AOL Is Funny AOL is a funny animal. Hey, I'll admit I first got onto the Internet using AOL and that I still use AOL (I'm a Web application tester, gentle reader, so I use more browsers and operatings systems on any given day than you'll probably use in a year). But come on, some of their things are just funny. Let's start with this scenario. You know how AOL always warns you that no one from AOL will ever ask for your credit card information, your password, and so on? Well, if your credit card information changes (such as a new expiration date), what does AOL do? Of course! It throws up a prompt for you to enter credit card information: ![]() Why, oh why, would AOL expect its users to type their information into a prompt like this? Because they're AOL customers, that's why! Back in the dial-up days of the mid nineteen nineties, AOL had trouble getting enough lines at its access numbers to accommodate the surging demand. Some people were leaving their computers connected when they weren't at the computer, tying up those precious lines. So AOL deployed the Idle Message, a message that popped up for every user fifty minutes after the user logged in; if the user didn't click OK to indicate they were still using the computer, AOL booted them. Many times, it kicked me off in the middle of a download. Handy. Apparently, AOL's gotten more sophisticated and has set the message to determine when the user is not doing something. I assume such because it's called the Idle Message. I've never seen it, but I have seen this: ![]() That's right, since I have apparently turned off the Idle Message in my AOL for Broadband connection, AOL still pops up a message box to indicate I have been idle. The titlebar? Idle Message Off. I think that AOL is trying to use paradoxes and irony to cause a rift in the space-time continuum so it can reach through to an alternate universe where its merger with Time-Warner was a good idea. It's only a working theory, though, and I might be wrong. Thursday, April 14, 2005
Hewitt Sees Republican Coalition Crackup! As he explains:
The result is that the GOP is in real danger of alienating a significant slice of its activist base --a base that has gladly contributed to the campaigns of new senators John Thune, Saxby Chambliss, Jim Talent, John Cornyn, John Sununu, Norm Coleman, Lindsey Graham, Jim DeMint, Mel Martinez, Richard Burr, David Vitter, and Tom Coburn because it understood the need to add Republicans if the body was going to work. They gave to the individual campaigns and to the Senate Republican National Committee, and thousands volunteered long hours throughout the last two cycles. No, in Hewitt's view, what is leading to this crackup is essentially a procedural matter in government. Whereas the non-rank-and-files Hewitt wouldn't be sad to see leave the Republicans worried about the content of the party's convenant with the country, Hewitt's worried about a particular comma in the fourth paragraph. Government-Mandated Monopoly Hurts Consumers Note the slant of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch headline: "Lifting of limits in Dallas could cost AA"':
Make Yourself a Punchline Today's lesson in how to make yourself a punchline in one lawsuit or fewer: "Woman sues store, claims she was attacked by bird":
Rhonda Nichols, 40, alleges in the suit that a bird flew into the back of her head while she was at the outside gardening area of the Lowe's Home Center, 1619 Homer Adams Parkway. Nichols is seeking damages against the store in excess of $50,000. Cause and Effect, and Ne'er the Twain Shall Meet Shocking new AARP study: Harder to swallow: Prices for seniors' brand-name drugs rising fast, study finds
The association representing seniors found that the 2004 price hike marked the largest one-year increase relative to inflation in the five years that AARP has sponsored the study. The U.S. inflation rate, as measured by the consumer price index, was 2.7 percent last year. "I don't see how it can incite trust in drug companies when they're seeing the same drugs going up in prices, so much higher than inflation, year after year," said David Gross, senior policy adviser with AARP's Public Policy Institute and one of the study's authors. "It's not like these are different or better drugs. These are the same drugs." Painkiller Bextra pulled from shelves Chicago Law Firm Files Bextra Class Action Lawsuit Against Pfizer Merck Announces Voluntary Worldwide Withdrawal of VIOXX® Idaho lawsuit filed against Vioxx Schatz & Nobel, P.C. Announces Class Action Lawsuit Against GlaxoSmithKline plc Wyeth to Pay $5.5 Mln in Two More Fen-Phen Cases Indian passage of patent law slammed US' Largest AIDS Group Seeks Improved Access to Life-Saving AIDS Drugs in Mexico Beijing court hears wrangle on Viagra patent Connecticut mulls drug reimportation Pharmacists fault Maine drug reimportation plan The obvious answer, to fAARP, is greed on the part of the pharmaceutical companies, not the increased costs of business spurred by increased government scrutiny, media hysteria, and class action litigation. Instead of using its members contributions to agitate for nationalization of the drug industry--which is the pit at the end of the slope, gentle reader--perhaps the fAARP could buy drug patents or perhaps develop some pharmaceuticals on their own. Oh, but no. That would require actual work instead of commissioning studies, holding meetings, and having lunches. (Submitted to the Outside the Beltway Beltway Traffic Jam.) Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Real Men Aren't Afraid To Wear Pink Someone asserts: "Pretty (cool!) in pink", which not only offers a bright shirt with the caption Tough Guys Wear Pink, but also asserts:
Pink! In case you haven't left the house or turned on MTV in the past 12 months, pink is hot for guys. And girls are hot for guys in pink. "Real men aren't afraid to wear pink," my stepmother manipulated. You see, friends, real men (of whom tough guys are but a subset) don't follow the dictations of fashion magazines and newspaper columns. Why, every time I look at the style section of FHM or Playboy, I smirk. The guys down at Tap City would beat the cosmopolitan out of me if I tried to real the suggested clothing among them, and I wouldn't blame them; t-shirts should come free with proofs-of-purchase or should cost under $10 for a brand name advertisement or under $15 for saying something clever. They should not cost $30 to display a fashionplate of an upscale store and should never be worn under a sport coat unless you're Billy Joel or Billy Jack circa 1979. You want to know what real men do? They do whatever they want, in a burly fashion. If they want to wear pink, no one says a word. And if they think pink clothes are fru-fru, they don't wear them contrary to the prevailing winds of fashion. And they post blog entries about it. Other Students Strike for Higher Tuition Professor Bainbridge reports that, like Washington University students, some UCLA students are striking for higher tuition. Who else suspects those who strike like this are also the sorts who would never bring a child into this miserable world, so they won't have to pay ultimately for their own success? Another Camera Triumph! Another surveillance camera triumph, as reported in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and posted at Power Line:
He ran to a nearby convenience store and called 911. He suffered scrapes and bruises to his face, forehead, hands and back, the complaint said. Video surveillance from the bus shows the group dragging the victim onto the sidewalk, according to Metro Transit police. "It was outrageous," said Metro Transit police Capt. Dave Indrehus. "The victim in this case was totally innocent, had nothing to do with these parties." The video shows that other bus passengers did not try to intervene, Indrehus said. "Quite frankly, I don't know if I would blame them," he said. "You may end up becoming a victim yourself."
Also, special kudos to the police captain for praising the non-intervention of the citizens on the bus. Keep 'em docile. Washington University Socialdents Protest Low Tuition The absurd protest at Washington University continues with more threats from the administration and with displays of inanity by the students. In case you're not in St. Louis and haven't been following the story, the students are protesting the low tuition at Washington University, where a year of tuition for undergraduates will only be $31,100 next year. Well, not directly:
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Random Junk Mail Quote of the Day From an unsolicited packet, marked DELIVERY MONITORED! to appeal to paranoid occupants like me, advertising an air purifier:
So this thing wants to pump ozone into your house to make your household air pure; it calls ozone "activated oxygen" and pretty much implies they're throwing in an extra atom of oxygen into when you buy an atom of O2. What the hey, have another quote:
Perhaps I should read more junk mail. It's making my afternoon. Ding, Dong, Ditch, and Do Time Kids arrested in Port Washington, Wisconsin, for Ding Dong Ditch. So make sure you're always on the stoop after you ring the bell, or they'll get you for Attempted Ding Dong Ditch or Conspiracy to Commit Ding Dong Ditch. And if that's not enough, they'll make subsidiary charges like Wearing Sneakers During Commission of Ding Dong Ditch. Because everything changed on 9/11. Okay, I am done now. Contract and Constitutional Law Taught By Pacers Player Professor O'Neal explains:
"In the last two or three years, the rookie of the year has a been a high school player. There were seven high school players in the All-Star game, so why we even talking an age limit?" said O'Neal, who was drafted out of high school in 1996 by the Portland Trail Blazers. "As a black guy, you kind of think that's the reason why it's coming up. You don't hear about it in baseball or hockey. To say you have to be 20, 21 to get in the league, it's unconstitutional. If I can go to the U.S. army and fight the war at 18, why can't you play basketball for 48 minutes?" Monday, April 11, 2005
Spot the Absurdity No, I don't mean the obvious absurdity of Illinois distributing scratch 'n' sniff cards so authoritarian figures can reference the scent of methamphetamine ingredients. No, look beyond it and find more subtle absurdity in the following:
"Most people haven't smelled meth," said state Rep. Michael P. McAuliffe, R-Chicago, who introduced the bill in late February, adding, "Not too many people know about this drug, and it's everywhere." McAuliffe said last week that despite the rapid growth in meth use and production in Illinois, few people can detect the signs of addiction or exposure, particularly exposure to children. Many children, McAuliffe explained, live in homes where meth is produced or smoked and absorb the smell in their hair, skin and clothes. "The teacher might say, 'How many cats do you have at home?'" McAuliffe demonstrated. "The student could say, 'We don't have any cats.'"
Police Call 9/11 A Best Buy customer is handcuffed and taken to jail for paying with $2 bills, and the police call 9/11:
(Link seen on Instapundit.) UPDATE: John Cole had the same thought. Sunday, April 10, 2005
Book Report: Needlepoint on Plastic Canvas by Elisabeth Brenner De Nitto (1978) All right, so I read this book; I even bought it, although I couldn't tell you if I bought it at a garage sale or very cheaply at a used bookstore. I bought it, though, because I've done needlepoint on plastic mesh before and will do so again before they stop me. Besides, once purchased, it was on my to-read shelves and represented an easy browse to removal. So I flipped through it enough to satisfy my interia criteria for having read a book, and now I'm reporting on it. The book includes a number of projects one can do with needlepoint taking advantage of the new plastic mesh canvas which apparently came on the marketplace at about that time; the book lists several suppliers and brand names. Now, I walk into Walmart and just buy whatever cheap sheets my Walton cousins stock. But back in the day, undoubtedly this was the hot new technology, like .NET for crafters. The introduction chapter talks about the transition from fabric canvas, and I laughed out loud when I realized that I took for granted a two-step stitch--once down through the canvas and once up--to which fabric crafters, who were used to folding the canvas for a single-step stitch, would have to adjust. Undoubtedly, Lileks could do a number on the patterns in this book, but I won't; I will, however, comment that my mother was a Creative Circle representative, and she used to hold Tupperware-style parties to sell patterns, yarns, kits, and whatnot to housewives. This was almost thirty years ago, in the early 1980s, and I remember a certain number of craftesque gifts exchanged and some crafty things around the house and the houses of people whom I visited. Is it just me, or is the number of home-crafted things in decline? I don't know many of my generation/peerage who sew or do crafts. Acourse, we're all geeks who spin yarns called computer programs and the assorted effluvia of the IT industry, so perhaps my perspective is skewed. So what did this book gain me? I have a listing of other stitches I can use on plastic canvases. I don't think I'll use the patterns within it, nor did they particularly fire my imagination for projects. I did, however, finish book #31 for the year, and I still have the collection of Dick Tracy cartoons in reserve for if I fall behind my desired pace. Step 3: (Government) Profit! So we're driving north on Interstate 39 in the middle of Illinois when there arises from the plain an almost unearthly sight. Dozens of towers break the horizon, each with spinning blades: ![]() I don't remember those spires from my frequent trips up the highway, and sure enough, they're new:
Illinois' First Wind Farm Opens! Wind Farm near Mendota IL (photo gallery) Step 2: ... Step 3: (Government) Profit!:
So in an effort to plan ahead and gather more revenue, county development committee officials Friday agreed to add a $25-per-foot inspection fee for all towers built in the county into its proposed commercial, industrial and multifamily building code ordinance. “We need to do something quick-like because they’ll be here before we know it,” said committee member Richard Foltynewicz (D-Ottawa). Oh, sorry, it's a $25-per-foot inspection fee. An arbitrary number that doesn't account for the amount of time an inspector would have to spend on the site nor on the actual productivity of the wind farm or profitability of the company collecting the energy. No, it's on the height of the windmill, which makes about as much sense as taxing a company based on the number of letters in its name. So keep that in mind, gentle reader, whereas your elected officials want you to think they share your goals for cheap, renewable energy and less dependence on foreign oil, they really do, but they have their priorities. And the top of the list is getting more of that sweet, sweet tax money that will hinder progress and which will eventually come from your pockets. Thursday, April 07, 2005
Calling All Fashionistas We're waiting to know what to think: Where the current and former presidents dressed appropriately for being indoors while attending a solemn occasion such as viewing the corpse of a pope? Wednesday, April 06, 2005
You Might Be a Felon If.... (Inspired by this book and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy....)
Heather's Wish List Heather has a birthday coming up this summer. Want to know what not to get her? Approximately 730 bales of styrofoam. Don't say I didn't warn you if she unwraps that gift with your name on it. Carter Not Going to Pope's Funeral So Jimmy Carter isn't going to the Pope's funeral. Doesn't surprise me, actually, considering this story: Secret Papal Election Set for April 18. A secret election + Jimmy Carter in the area? Perhaps the Vatican fears Carter calling the election invalid and demanding international monitors and a straightforward crooked election of a tyrant. Tuesday, April 05, 2005
The Bray Dissent Missouri State Senator Joan Bray (D-University City) also dissents from Go Directly to Jail by wanting to make a felony crime in the state of Missouri to not disclose a criminal record when getting a mail order bride:
A bill before the Legislature would require the full and accurate disclosure of such information. The measure would apply equally to a woman who sought a husband from another country. A violation would be a felony. The bill, sponsored by Sen. Joan Bray, D-University City, is an attempt to stop the abuse of foreign women who suddenly find themselves in a strange country married to violent men. The Sensenbrenner Dissent Apparently, congressman F'n Jim Sensenbrenner (R-WI) dissents with the themes in Go Directly to Jail as he wants to pass a law that mandates show a boob on television, go to Federal prison:
"I'd prefer using the criminal process rather than the regulatory process," Sensenbrenner told the executives. Also, perhaps this explains Sensenbrenner's strong anti-immigration stance. He wants to save them from indecency on American television. Book Report: Go Directly to Jail: The Criminalization of Almost Everything edited by Gene Healy (2004) As some of you know, I recently bought this book on Amazon for like full price because its description indicated the book echoed themes I've raised before on this blog. And so it does. Some people get a chill from horror novels. I'm working on Stephen King's It, and a killer clown in the sewers bothers me less than The Three Billy Goats Gruff did back in the day. When I want to self-impose fear, I pick up a book like this. The book runs 150 pages, which includes extensive end notes. It comprises an introduction and six essays. The essays do tend to focus on crimes that companies or more powerful people could commit--environmental crimes, medical crimes, violations of business laws. Of course, these sorts of crimes would certainly interest the contributors to the CATO Institute, who put this book together. Although I'm not planning to do any industrial dumping, the implications of these new classes of crimes frightened me enough when I realized that charges for these crimes can apply to the individual as well as the corporation if a prosecutor or law enforcement official wants them to do so. Black magick. Two other essays in the book deal with:
Tone of the book is reasoned essay, unlike stream-of-consciousness screeds you get out of popular broadcast journalists who write political books. These essays build cases and take their time to get to the conclusion. Many of them are actually condensed from longer pieces. So it's not a quick read, but it's a thoughtful book, and since it's only 150 pages, it's a good week of reading. Now I've read the book, I just need to be an influential about the ideas presented. Monday, April 04, 2005
Cross Checking the Cross Section Support grows for beefing up U.S. forces: Some see situations where volunteers may not be enough The lead:
While just about all the proponents maintain they want to achieve the increase by offering recruits bigger financial incentives or through appeals to patriotism, lurking in the background is a possibility that for now remains anathema to all but a few. The military draft, which coughed up its last conscript in 1973, could make a comeback if recruiting doesn't pick up and if America's commitments in Iraq and Afghanistan turn into long-term occupations or if the Bush administration's tough-minded foreign policy means military action in places like Iran or North Korea. So while Edward Epstein, Chronicle Washington Bureau, tries to confuse his readers by lumping those who want a bigger military in with those who want a draft, let me help by breaking them out: Wants a Draft/Thinks Draft Might Be Necessary:
Edward Epstein, Chronicle Washington Bureau. Who's Counting? Tomorrow will mark the beginning of my third year with this blog. Here's the first post as proof. Two years of thoughtful commentary, witty insight, and modesty, and still the same eight readers. Thanks, guys. Lead Recall Effort for Alderman, Get Sued A controversial St. Louis Alderman, facing a recall, sues the leaders of the recall effort for defamation:
"There are some people who have a personal agenda - they want to prevent good things from happening in Dogtown," Bauer said. I fully expect this lawsuit to be dismissed (SLAPPed down, as it were), but I imagine its headlines will have a chilling effect on some opposition as the lawsuit gets big fonts but the dismissal does not. Sunday, April 03, 2005
Steyn: On Hewitt's Side! As if there were any doubt, Mark Steyn is firmly on Hugh Hewitt's side and doesn't recognize the danger in which the Republican party finds itself:
No, I would have preferred to see Schiavo's husband turn her care over to her parents (hey, and I wouldn't have even condemned him for taking a million bucks for it). I'd rather Terry Schiavo continue her hopeless existence unheralded in a Florida hospice into perpetuity, in the obscurity in which most people with functioning brains toil. But if her guardian felt she would not have wanted to wither and die over the course of decades she would never know passed, then so be it; he could end the extraordinary measures continuing her life (a feeding tube is an extraordinary measure; if you doubt it, count the number you see on an ordinary day). But you know what? I and many like me recognized it's not our business. It's not clearly, obviously murder nor is it "forced starvation" it's not forced feeding. But the party for whom I vote most of the time on a Federal level has determined that Terri Schiavo's life and death are its business. Therein lies the disparity, the cleft which shall yield a schism in the bloc that re-elected George W. Bush and has continued to send a Republican majority to Congress. It's not a culture of life versus a culture of choice, it's the culture of my business versuse the culture of "Hey, we're in power now, so maybe it is the Federal government's business since the Federal government is ours." Call them the pro-Federal-Business wing of the Republican party. I won't call them theocrats because that's not the issue; from whatever source they derive their beliefs, I care not. I do care that they're using the mechanisms of federal government to impose them on everyone. Supporters of the Republican Federal Steamroller (RFS, blogosphere, if you want a nifty abbreviation) chortle and ask me if I'm going to vote for John Kerry or Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2008. No, I won't. I will vote for the stronger foreign policy candidate for president in 2008. That's the proper role of the president; to handle foreign policy. The real danger to your Republican hegemony comes in 2006 and 2008 for the legislative branch of government. Because quite frankly, I am so disappointed with what the Republicans are doing in Congress that I will probably vote for the Libertarian candidate, however nutso and unqualified. And if the loss of my vote leads to a Democratic Congress, perhaps the Republicans can relearn their lesson and return to small government, Contract With Americaesque stylings. At least a Republican president won't give the Democrat congress everything their socialist heart desires, so we won't be much worse off than we are now. If the worst case scenario occurs, and I help elect a Democrat congress and the Republicans cheese off voters who don't recognize the proper role of the president to elect Clinton II (The Restoration), undoubtedly Hewitt, Steyn, et al., will blame me and my None-Of-My-Business-and-Especially-None-of-the-Federal-Government's-Business brethen for the potential disasters ahead--National Health Care, National This, National That, International Law, Loss of Sovereignity, and so forth--without recognizing the role they played as cheerleaders to the Absolutely-Corrupted-By-Absolute-Power bunch we sent to Washington in 2004. No, all damnation will be reserved for the libertarian conservatives who just wanted the Federal government to handle national things. That the Federal government wanted to dictate what a single individual would eat--PVS or not--won't cross the minds of the small-government-conservatives-until-in-power legislators and their cheerleaders. So be it. I cannot wait until 2006 so I can cast my vote. Unspoken Footnote Here's a piece of on-product advertising from Frito-Lay: ![]() The text:
Taste for Yourself! ** Among those with a preference In a related note, America prefers Musings from Brian J. Noggle to Pop-Up Mocker** ** Among those with a preference and who know what a "blog" is and who have heard of either of the aforementioned bottom-feeding blogs. Saturday, April 02, 2005
Call Europe the Amusement Park Socialismland Pensioner ordered to cut the grass
Paul Mueller, 72, argued he was too old to cut the lawn at the house he shared with daughter Karin and her husband Peter Hoffer. He went to court to get them to take on the job at the house in Bonn, Germany. But the plan backfired when the court ruled that the pensioner should be responsible for cutting the grass. If he fails to do the job, his daughter, 43, is allowed to hire a professional gardener and make the old man pay the bill. An Anatomy of Bad Lawmaking From a story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch entitled "Chain reaction", we have this illuminating look at poor lawmaking:
The more laws you make, the more lawbreakers, particularly when the laws target trivial misdeeds that many people do without mens rea or particular ill effect. I wonder what our society will be like in twenty years or thirty years when everyone knows that they're already breaking laws....what could one more crime mean? Brief Movie Review: Hostage Starring Bruce Willis Like Die Hard with a kid. If you can watch a child in a Bruce Willis movie crawling through HVAC ducts without saying, "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs," well, you're a more polite movie goer than I. It's different from the book by Robert Crais, but just as good. For what that's worth. A Record To Stand The Ages According to a nugget in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols did not strike out in spring training. An almost unheard of occurrence:
If local sportswriters could have it, we know which Cardinal they would elevate to the papacy. I Won't Win The Lottery, Either New pope will hail from cardinals So that puts those of us who are not Catholic and advanced members of the clergy out of the running. I was hoping to be a Cinderella story myself, a dark horse candidate who would bring a sort of everyman's perspective to the papacy. Ah, well, at least I can console myself with my acelibacy. I don't know what's more frightening; that reporters need to write entire eighth-grade-report style stories on succession in the Catholic church, or the idea that some people impacted by this knowledge might not have it. Micromanagement Blagojevich orders pharmacies to sell contraceptives promptly. The Illinois governor also told fast food fry clerks to clean the frier, grocery store utility clerks to restock the bags at the end of the registers, and for the sales clerk at the department store to stop standing around and to straighten her area, for crying out loud she's lucky she has this job with her being late three times this year and calling in once every three weeks. UPDATE: Furthermore, Blagojevich ordered pharmacies to bundle unused flu vaccination doses with every purchase of a contraceptive. Senator Jim Talent's Solution to Crime: Federalize It After all, he's federal legislator, so he cannot be seen by the public as Doing Something!!!! on local law enforcement problems. So he gathered up a news conference with local law enforcement and spake:
Speaking at a news conference at the St. Louis County Police headquarters in Clayton, Talent called the Combat Meth Act the most comprehensive anti-meth legislation ever proposed. The bill - sponsored by Talent, R-Mo., and Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. - would direct $20 million to train police, hire prosecutors and fund programs that help children injured in drug labs. But the bill's focus is restricting the sale of pseudoephedrine, the active ingredient in scores of cold remedies. My senator co-sponsored this bill with Dianne Feinstein. That says it all. They're doing something to make America better and stronger by setting up a vigorish that will fund administration of the tax money redistribution and by making more innocuous behavior (buying too much cough medicine) criminal. The America they're strengthening is the federal government. That America and the amalgamated citizens and states of America are often not the same thing. But He Still Killed Susan Gutweiler From the sound of it, the case against Leonard Little was a little weak:
Stork had testified that Little was windmilling his arms and unable to stand on one foot. Andreski said he didn't recall seeing Little swinging his arms or holding them outward like airplane wings to keep his balance. Andreski said he didn't recall seeing Little swaying or using the Mercedes for support, as Stork had told the jury. Also testifying Friday was Sgt. Darin McClure. Under questioning by prosecutor Mark Bishop, McClure said he administered a breath test at the arrest scene on a portable machine and it showed that Little had been drinking. McClure said also he smelled alcohol on Little's breath. Under Rosenblum's questioning, McClure said Little wasn't stumbling, swaying, losing his balance or smelling of alcohol at the Ladue police station, where he was taken 18 minutes after the traffic stop. "Nothing in this case is consistent with intoxication," Rosenblum said. Were I To Vote, I Would Vote for Frost Cardinals Differ on Who Will Succeed Pope Pujols is said to favor Matthew Arnold, whereas Matt Morris and some of the relief pitchers back Percy Bysshe Shelley. Jim Edmonds publicly espoused Anonymous, which proves he was either joking, is daft, or has some weird Californiaesque buddhist leanings. Girding Up Clinton Supporters Gear Up Against 'Swift Boat' Tactics Fortunately, this still leaves her exposed to deep water navy tactics, including submarine warfare. Friday, April 01, 2005
Unintended Consequences, Again Biometric security at work:
The car, a Mercedes S-class, was protected by a fingerprint recognition system. |
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