Musings from Brian J. Noggle
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
 
Book Review: Journey into Fear edited by Richard Peyton (1990)

I bought this hardback book from Hooked on Books in Springfield (Missouri) for 33 cents (part of 3 for $1). Hey, it was worth it.

I don't read a lot of horror because it really doesn't scare me, but I bought this book because I figured it was worth the price. It was. It's a collection of short stories dealing with ghosts and whatnot around trains. The fiction within the book splits its time between the United States and England, with most of the pieces appropriately enough set in the late part of the ninteenth century or the early twentieth. In between the stories, the editor recounts several real alleged hauntings near rails that might have inspired the stories.

A fairly even collection, with some highs and some lows (Algernon Blackwood, unfortunately). Stories by Charles Dickens, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and others.

Worth a look if you're into that sort of thing.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:57 PM   0 comments
 
Pot to Kettle: Does This Hypocrisy Make My Butt Look Big?

In the December issue of Playboy in the Republibashing Forum section immediately following advice on how to get your wife to agree to a threesome, Patricia Schroder writes:
    The Patriot Act was rammed through Congress six weeks after the 9/11 attacks. In the three years since, we have learned that before the vote few members of Congress had read the bill, much less given thought to its provisions and implications.
Obviously, much like adults put away the silly habits of childhood, Ms. Schroeder has learned that a little legislation is a dangerous thing. Of course, one must believe that Ms. Schroeder read every single omnibus spending bill thoroughly during her six terms as member of the House of Representatives, or one would have to think that Ms. Schroeder not only deplores the Patriot Act but the way our elected officials rush to ill-advised action on many, of not most, bills that they pass without reading, deliberating, or comprehending.

Or one might read the whole thing (not available online, but guys, tell your wives you wanted the article by Pat Schroeder and not the Denise Richards pix) and understand the context of the Playboy Forum and conclude that Patricia Schroeder wants to cudgel the Bush administration.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:34 PM   0 comments
 
Packer Flag Protocol Exception

As you all know, the Packer Flag Protocol is as follows:
  • Upon a day in which the Packers play, the flag shall be raised at sunrise;

  • If the Packers should lose the game, the flag will be lowered to half staff and shall be lowered, sadly, at sunset unless the game ends after sunset, in which case the flag shall be lowered immediately following the loss;

  • But when the Packers win the game, the flag shall fly through the night and shall be lowered at sunset of the following day.*

    * Unless the Packers defeat the hated mercenary Rams, in which case the flag shall for a week until the result of the next Packer game becomes known.

- posted by Brian J. @ 11:12 AM   0 comments
Monday, November 29, 2004
 
Twice Read

Hugh Hewitt started it when he said:
    A modern novel worth reading twice is very hard to come by, at least for a reader like me, pressed for time and inclined to history and current events. I have been through Joseph Epstein's two volumes of short stories twice --Golden Boys and Fabulous Small Jews-- but that's the limit on my short story rereading as well. (All of the collections of Epstein's familiar essays are read and reread and reread by me and thousands of others.)

    ...


    James Webb's new book, Born Fighting, Elizabeth Kauffman Bush's The First Frogman and The Lileks' Interior Desecrations are my trio of recommendations from among the "just published," but I hope to get some guidance from the blogosphere on modern novels worth reading twice that I haven't yet even read once.
Well, I can enumerate several novels I've read more than once, but I'm not sure how modern or applicable they are to what Hugh had in mind. Here are some:
  • The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Three times? Four times? I forget. It's back on my to-read shelf, though, since it's been five years.

  • Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Once or twice fewer than The Fountainhead, but still two or three times.

  • Anthem by Ayn Rand. Twice, which is odd since it's the shortest.

  • The Spenser novels, including The Godwulf Manuscript, by Robert B. Parker. Many times each (except for the latest, of course).

  • The Philip Marlowe novels, including The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler. At least twice, once in high school and once when I got the complete collection in 1997.

  • The Travis McGee novels, including The Empty Copper Sea, by John D. MacDonald. Most, if not all, at least twice: once in high school, and once when I acquired them.

  • The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything by John D. MacDonald. A cool fantasy that I own and read in paperback and that I own and read as part of a collection. Remember that this became a TV movie with Robert Hays? I remember it running several times in the 1980s, but I never saw it; just the promos for it.

  • The Lew Archer novels, including The Zebra-Striped Hearse, by Ross MacDonald. Same as John D. MacDonald, I read these in high school and reread them as I acquired them.

  • The 87th Precinct novels, including Kiss, by Ed McBain. I've read a number of these books twice and will continue to do so as I acquire them.

Wow, I guess that says a lot about what I like. Modern? Hmm, probably not, and certainly not high literary in the most self-important sense of the word.

Here's what Powerline's Deacon has read twice.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:35 PM   0 comments
 
Unfair Treatment

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch expresses its continuing sympathy for illegal aliens with this story: Latvian family faces deportation threat:
    Ofelia Boudaguian says she hoped for fair treatment when she and her family came to the United States in 1995, after years of suffering discrimination and violence in Latvia.

    After nearly a decade in the St. Louis area, though, Boudaguian says she feels let down by the American legal system, which has denied the family political asylum and now threatens them with deportation at any moment.

    "We live now day by day. It's so scary," she said. A knock on the door might mean that she and her husband, Vitalik Boudaguian, and their two children must gather their belongings, submit to arrest and go to a detention facility to await deportation.

    Their one-year tourist visas expired May 18, 1996.
Because starting deportation precedings after these people overstayed their visa by nine years and exhausted all recourse through the system is just unfair!

The system is only fair when it does what I want it to do, regardless of the existing rules. Natch.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:28 AM   0 comments
 
Not Just For Nutjobs Any More

Headline on St. Louis Post-Dispatch story: Home schooling is attracting mainstream families.

No comment.

- posted by Brian J. @ 6:47 AM   0 comments
 
Remiss



Belatedly, I have to admit that the Manitoba Moose beat the Milwaukee Admirals on Saturday, right after I talked smack. Here's the story: Manitoba’s Kesler beats the clock, Admirals.

The Admirals got revenge on Sunday, though: Admirals hold off Moose.


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:30 AM   0 comments
Saturday, November 27, 2004
 
Well, It's Not Passive Voice

Check out the cover of today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

St. Louis Post Dispatch Cover November 27 2004


Note the headline: GIRL DIES AFTER FINDING GUN LEFT AT HOME. Although on the surface, it sounds like the headline's telling the story, but it's offering enough editorial comment about how the St. Louis Post-Dispatch feels about guns in the home, especially homes with children.

Drill down into the story, which is entitled Girl, 5, is shot to death at home online:
    A 5-year-old East St. Louis girl died from a gunshot wound to her face Friday afternoon after she or her 9-year-old brother found a gun that belonged to their mother's boyfriend, police said.

    It is not yet known whether the girl shot herself or if her brother shot her.

    Police said the children's mother had left the girl and her brother with the mother's boyfriend at the family's townhouse in the 1800 block of North 43rd Street while she went to a grocery Friday afternoon.

    The boyfriend, who police said had left his .40-caliber handgun loaded in the house, was on the second floor of the townhouse at the time of the shooting. Downstairs, police said, one of the children found the handgun. The girl was shot in the living room.

    "He said he didn't hear a shot," Deputy Police Chief Rudy McIntosh said. "He didn't even know what happened until the boy went upstairs and told him."
Okay, let's run down the list of details:
  • East St. Louis, a city whose best neighborhood is merely a bad neighborhood.

  • Mother's boyfriend is watching the kids from upstairs, where he doesn't hear a forty caliber pistol discharge.

  • This particular handgun was in Illinois, where it's not the easiest thing to have or hold a handgun.

  • The gun was not stored upstairs, but downstairs, and was apparently not secured in any case.
Perhaps I'm overly suspicious, but before Illinois legislators propose outlawing guns in homes with or near homes with children, perhaps we better wait for more details. Of course, if this turns out to be a drug house or something, we won't get further details. Just a poorly written headline intended to add to the torrent of anti-gun messages designed to further limit law-abiding gun owners without doing anything to prevent tragedies that occur with gun owners who are irresponsible or unlawful.

Bonus Snark:

Here's how I immediately reacted to the headline:
  • She just found it and had a heart attack!

  • Look, honey, the Post-Dispatch is now in favor of concealed carry so you can take your gun with you!
Both make light of the headline, but ultimately, it's not funny because some kid is still dead.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:05 AM   0 comments
Friday, November 26, 2004
 
Book Review: A Key to the Suite by John D. MacDonald (1962)

I piad $1.95 for this book at Downtown Books in Milwaukee last month. As some of you will recall, I read Judge Me Not and On the Run in the last month. My affinity for John D. MacDonald and my respect for his talent and his range continue to grow.

A Key to the Suite represents less of a crime novel than a fictional anthropological study of a lifestyle in which a crime happens to occur--much like One More Sunday or Condominium, where a hurricane plays the part of the crime. MacDonald examines corporate politics and dirty dealings that happen as part of a convention in a Florida hotel. Floyd Hubbard, a hatchet man, has come to the convention to put together a confidential report on an executive about to get fired. However, the executive fires back with a scheme involving a prostitute whose affection will impugn Hubbard's reputation and report.

The book's fairly brutal and bleak in its resolution, but MacDonald really creates a sense of place. I can almost imagine the scene in the burgeoning Florida resort scene as a post World War II company man would have seen it.

I got to be more like this guy.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:45 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
 
Non Sequitur of the Day

From an entertainment story at CNN entitled Lisa Kudrow set for 'Comeback'. Lead paragraphs:
    Lisa Kudrow isn't waiting for "Friends" to become a distant memory -- she's already signed on for a new sitcom that sounds tailor made for her.

    Kudrow will star in and executive produce "The Comeback," which has received a 14-episode order from HBO, the premium cable channel said Tuesday.

    She plays a former sitcom star trying to revive her career. Kudrow co-wrote the pilot episode with Michael Patrick King, who also is serving as an executive producer. An air date was not announced.
The pretty non sequitur comes at the end:
    Kudrow played ditsy Phoebe Buffay in NBC's hit sitcom "Friends," which ended in May after 10 years. Her film roles include "Analyze This," its sequel "Analyze That" and "The Opposite of Sex."

    Former stars of "Seinfeld" have mostly found that success hard to top. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards and Jason Alexander each had a flop after the show ended. Alexander is trying again with the freshman series "Listen Up" on CBS.
No idea why Seinfeld was important to note, since Kudrow didn't star in it, nor did the article mention anything about Seinfeld cast members before that. Perhaps it's a product tie-in with the new Seinfeld DVDs. Who knows? Who cares? I have four and a half discs of Buck Rogers to go.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:39 PM   0 comments
 
Stand By, Forward Moonbattery

Search visit of the day: chai vang conspiracy.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:29 AM   0 comments
 
Top Mispronunciations of Milla Jovavich's Name

Since Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom is in Utah, I am cutting into his turf with a short humor post like what he does. So I hereby present, sympathetically, the ways that people have certainly mangled poor Milla Jovavich's name to her face, probably when she was arguing with the maitre'd at a second tier restaurant in L.A.:
  • Milla Javovavich.

  • Milla Brace Jovanovich.

  • Mylil Jehovahwitness.

  • Mille Bornes.

  • Thoroughly Modern Milla.

  • Miles Jovavich.

  • Milla Jovavavoom.

  • Milla Javovavovich.

Dang, that list of humorous items is harder than it looks.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:25 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
 
Okauchee Light

Wandering into the dark kitchen, I saw that a neighbor had left its back porch light on, and it reminded me of a poem I had written when I was younger:
    Okauchee Light

    Across the dark Okauchee lake, a light,
    the marker for the end of someone's dock,
    is strangely lit at nearly twelve o'clock
    and breaks the solid black that is the night.
    From here, across the chilling April lake,
    through busy bar room glass I see that glow,
    but life or rooms beyond I'll never know.
    One light does not a utopia make.
    Quite like your smile, that single man-made star:
    Up there, on stage, you flash a smile at me,
    and crinkle eyes to give the gesture weight,
    but like the dock-end light, you are too far;
    your glow is there for someone else to see,
    and now, for me at least, it is too late.
I wrote about the keyboardist in the band my friends and I followed around Milwaukee as they played the fairs and bars. Acourse, as an English major, I felt damn proud to mirror The Great Gatsby with the whole bit. Man, I was the little sonnet slut then, casting off fourteen liners at the slightest provocation.

Remember, friends, this piece is copyright 1991(?) Brian J. Noggle, and you've got to click that little Contact link below and beg offer me scads of money ask for permission to repost.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:43 PM   0 comments
 
Demographically, It Makes Sense

The headline, Report: Birth Rates for Older Women Rising, really just makes sense, especially when you consider the gist of the story:
    U.S. women in their 30s and early 40s had higher birth rates in 2003, while births among teenagers fell for the 12th straight year, federal health officials said on Tuesday.
Well, of course they're having higher birthrates. Come on, hasn't anyone else noticed that women in their 30s and 40s have become smoking hotter in the last ten or fifteen years? I mean, when I was a young man, they looked okay, but now, dayumm. They look mighty appetizing for procreative activities and all drills thereof.

The fact that I am in my 30s or 40s is merely coincidental.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:45 PM   0 comments
 
More Useless Than an English Degree

Important quote from this article about the author of Fast Food Nation's week performance at University of Wisconsin:
    "I was looking for more of a venue for action," said Kirsten Jordan, a UW-Madison student majoring in geography.
A major in geography? Ha-ha! That will prepare you for anything for any number of years until the Bush administration rewrites world maps and alters world climate. Also, clear-cuts and strip mines to alter topography. So in the next four years, about the time this kid is graduating, all that book-learning will be useless.

Hope she's smart, like me, and picked up a useful second major like philosophy.

(Link seen on Ann Althouse. Well, not on Ann Althouse, but on her blog.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:16 AM   0 comments
Monday, November 22, 2004
 
Open Sourcers Hate Technical Writers

There, I've said it: those whack job developers in the open source movement absolutely hate technical writers and seek, in their passive aggressive ways, to make communications professionals look stupid. My proof? Recursive abbreviations.

Look, when a technical writer puts an abbreviation into a document, he or she should spell it out the first time, like this: Java Server Pages (JSP).

But these damn silly recursive abbreviations look really silly when presented this way: PHP Hypertext Protocol (PHP) or GNUs Not UNIX (GNU).

It's designed so that technical writers cannot sound intelligent while trying to explain the esoteric and eldritch secrets of the divine open-source technology technotheocracy and so that the rabble--that is, the users, cannot fathom the depths of their geniuses.

Pathetic, that's what it is. And I call it.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:03 PM   0 comments
 
Non-Iraqis Voting Against Election

In a move that reminds me of extranationals talking about the American election this month, apparently ministers from other Arabic states are squawking about the Iraqi elections due this January:
    Violence and boycotts could yet stop promised Iraqi elections going ahead on time, Arab ministers said, despite Baghdad's confident assertion the landmark vote would be held on January 30.

    Iraq had somewhat upstaged a major international conference in Egypt on its future by announcing the date for the first post-Saddam Hussein elections a day before the meeting opened.

    But not everyone was impressed by its confidence.
So let's run down the list. Doubters include:
  • Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Abul Gheit
  • Jordanian Foreign Minister Hani Mulki
  • an Arab delegate to the conference, speaking on condition of anonymity
  • Jordanian government spokeswoman Asma Khodr
Hey, here's a hearty cup of butt the hell out for those representatives of undemocratic societies who have sound bites about sacred democracy. You know what happens if the Sunnis boycott? They don't vote. Choosing not to participate does not render the decision of the participants invalid. It just means you have to wait until the next election to choose again whether or not to participate.


- posted by Brian J. @ 3:21 PM   0 comments
 
James Lileks Goes Too Far!!!!

In today's Bleat, he begins:
    I watched the first episode of Battlestar Galactica’s new season. Not something I ever thought I would look forward to, given how much I loathed the original.
And then follows up a few paragraphs later with:
    I can only hope that the people behind the 80s version of “Buck Rogers” watch it and soil themselves in shame. If Twiki ever went up against Jar-Jar I’d root for the Binks. Which says a lot. To be exact, it says “bidi bidi bidi.” Meesa hate that.
The man knows no shame and his little "We in the Blue States are soooo much more sophisticated than those silly red staters" division schtick makes me want to cede Minnesota to Canada to spite him.

Also, the Vikings in the CFL would be good for the Packers. But I digress.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:49 AM   0 comments
 
Everybody Needs A

Crikey, one femibar, and suddenly I'm drinking coffee from a Holly Hobbie mug:

Everyone needs a Holly Hobbie
(Click for full size)


Thank goodness for that one remaining Buck Rogers costume, or I could have had to have been Holly Hobbie.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:31 AM   0 comments
 
Emasculation

I suffered a mid-morning hunger pang, so I grabbed one of Heather's femibars. You know, a Luna bar, the Whole Nutrition Bar for Women, strong enough for a man, Ph balanced to empower a woman, blah blah blah.

So I opened the package and started on it before I noticed the flavor. Toasted Nuts and Berries.

Has a food item ever given you a stern sense of You don't belong?


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:46 AM   0 comments
 
No Pit Bull Xs for Us

As some of you know, we have several rules in our house when it comes to selecting a dog:
  1. No Pit Bull mixes.
  2. No Rottweiler mixes.
  3. No Chow mixes.
  4. Should leave most of our cat corps intact.
This story in Slate examines how the animal rights movement and extreme rescue measures are causing an increase in dog attacksDog Bites Man: Not a story—a national crisis.

(Link seen on Professor Bainbridge.)

If only people would adhere to my arbitrary rules.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:36 AM   0 comments
 
Thank Goodness, a Mass Shooting

In Wisconsin, a nutbar in the woods, instead of hunting deer, shot five other hunters in whose tree stand he was trespassing. Story.

Uh oh, and wouldn't you know it, he had an assault rifle:
    Five deer hunters were shot to death and three were wounded Sunday by a man who was hunting from someone else's tree stand in northern Wisconsin, authorities said.

    Chai Soua Vang, 36, of St. Paul, Minn., was arrested by a Department of Natural Resources warden just before dark.

    The bizarre attack happened on private land in this Sawyer County town about noon on the second day of the gun deer season, a time when hundreds of thousands of deer hunters are in the woods throughout Wisconsin.

    Sawyer County Chief Deputy Tim Zeigle said Chai Soua Vang, 36, of St. Paul, Minn., was arrested by a Department of Natural Resources warden just before dark about 4 p.m. on a road about one mile from the scene, just across the Sawyer County border in Rusk County.

    Vang was armed with an SKS semiautomatic assault rifle, a weapon that's similar to a 30.06 but seldom used by deer hunters, Zeigle said.
Let the call for a renewed ban begin! Oh, wait, somewhere out there it already has.

Personally, I think there's more to the story--like the relationship between the shooter and the dead and wounded--that will not be included in follow-up stories after the nationwide gun banning crowd crows about the dangers of guns.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:05 AM   0 comments
Saturday, November 20, 2004
 
I Am Buck Rogers

A small anecdote, to celebrate the release of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - The Complete Epic Series on DVD and this household's purchase thereof:

Halloween 1984

We, being my mother, brother, and I, lived with my aunt and uncle in St. Charles, Missouri; I don't know if my mother was working her job at the onion ring factory where she separated onion rings amid the immigrants or whether she had started in government service in the clerical pool at $12,000 a year, but she didn't have a pile of money to spend on Halloween costumes, nor did she have the time to whip up some of the cardboard costumes for which she had become legend in the housing projects of Milwaukee. So when she got a couple of extra bucks, it was immediately before Halloween, and we hit the Walgreens off of Fifth Street on what must have been October 30.

The costume section had been picked over to the extent that only two costumes for young boys remained, so we got them. The next night, my brother and I tossed coins, drew lots, or perhaps did the traditional simple fight for who would wear which costume. Now, I don't know if you damn kids even know what passed for costumes in 1984, particularly costumes you could buy at Walgreens. They consisted of a thin plastic mask which covered only your face, secured to the back of your head with a rubber band, and a trashbag-like smock depicting a motif to augment what you were. Not an authentic costume by any means. My brother, the little punk, got Spiderman, so he got red and blue trashbag and a Spiderman-mask red-colored plastic face piece with two dots for the eyes, a slit for the mouth, and two nostril holes located nowhere near his nose.

"Oooh," said the people who answered the door when trick-or-treating, "It's Spiderman. And...."

For there I was wearing a trash bag with a guy with a laser pistol and a mask depicting the front 20% of a white helmet with orange bolts and a generic pink male face over my generic pink male face. "I'm Buck Rogers," I said.

Because, friends, bloggers, and countrymen, it was 1984 and the television show ran in 1979.

It would be the equivalent of dressing like Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds from television's Firefly--in 2007. Sure, one sci-fi junkie at one house recognized the outfit--out of an entire subdivision--but that's before these things were available on DVD and even before the Sci-Fi channel.

I think I was traumatized from the experience, and I can only talk about it now. And now that I have the DVD, I've had to relive the experience.

But my kind and beautiful wife, who has agreed to watch the series on DVD with me, is offering her support, and together we will overcome my childhood pain which still haunts my intrapersonal relationships.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:56 PM   0 comments
 
Heather's Low Geek Threshold

On the other hand, my beautiful wife has a low geek threshold.

Although she's a software developer who has affinities for gaming systems, Samus Aran, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Lord of the Rings, does reach her geek threshold early.

For example, although "Hey, let's watch all 32 episodes of Buck Rogers starting right now and not stopping until we're finished tomorrow" sounds like a good geek idea, she doesn't think so!

Sorry, honey, I had to warn the other geeks in the audience. I hope we can still have the next Atari Party, though and please don't throw my full size arcade games out now....


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:51 PM   0 comments
 
Book Review: The Balcony by Jean Genet (1958)

I bought a copy of this book at a yard sale a year or so back because I thought I didn't read enough serious drama. Do you know how much serious drama is enough serious drama? Enough to remember that any serious drama is too much serious drama.

This play takes place in a brothel, where people dress as authority figures such as The Bishop, The Judge, and The General to get their rocks off on the trappings of power. When the revolution comes, the madame of the brothel must act as the Queen and these people must impersonate the actual offices they impersonate--and they like it. Those wacky post-WWII French.

Unfortunately, when drama's built too heavily on Concept, with bunches of archetypes crowding a sparse stage and spitting out philosophy, I find myself lamenting the hard seat I'm in, and I'm in a recliner. That's something my old drama professor taught me--that your play has to drag the audience along, and if the audience starts noticing the theatre and its accommodations, you've written a bad play. Unfortunately, most modernist and intellectual drama suffers from this when the playwright focuses too much on communicating his ideas and not enough on creating drama.

Give me an Ibsen, a Jonson, or a Shakespeare; a play where something happens to people, and later on, if you want to think about it, you can find some comment on the human condition. Reading this piece by Genet, on the other hand, is like reading an Existentialist op-ed on authority. Sure, I can see the message, but not the entertainment.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:29 PM   0 comments
Friday, November 19, 2004
 
The Fark Headline That Wasn't

Disabled dolphin jumping again with world's first artificial fin, seeking Sarah Connor.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:19 PM   0 comments
 
Benefits of Increased Incarceration

CNN reports Library offenders could go to jail:
    Keeping library books too long could soon land some readers in jail.

    Frustrated librarians want the worst offenders to face criminal charges and up to 90 days behind bars.

    "We want to go after some of the people who owe us a lot of money," said Frederick J. Paffhausen, the library's system director. "We want to set an example."

    Paffhausen, who took over as director in October, is asking the Bay County Library Board for permission to seek arrest warrants for offenders who ignore repeated notices.
Now, I know that some of you would expect that I would think this sort of thing is overkill, and that it's foolish to criminalize more behavior and to make more things punishable by actualy time in jail. Au contraire, but I understand the nuance of the situation. This benefits society by:
  • Making some mousy librarian types feel like Johnny Law, with the power to put those who offend them in the big house.

  • Punishing those who don't add to the library's coffers through overdue fines with hard time.

  • Frightening people from actually borrowing books from libraries and perhaps reading them, however slowly; this will free up library resources to do the library's primary function in the 21st century: to be a publicly-funded Internet cafe that not many people use.

  • Helps balance the incarcerated population, as it's not going to be 18-24 year old black males that this law throws in the slam.

  • Freeing library resources from fiscal collections, allowing them to focus more on their primary activities: protesting the overweaning government when it makes requests on libraries or on funds it allocates to libraries.
This, of course, these only represent the beginning of the bonanza! There will undoubtedly be conferences and communiques that emphasize the efficacy of this solution which many librarian and library administration will have to attend on the taxpayer dime to wine, dine, and discuss the pogroms.

Also, libtarians, who represent the most impotent and looked-down upon of the academic mindset, will finally have a status-bearing power that professors don't. You can flunk or expel a student who cheats or plagiarizes, but you cannot sic the police on them with visions of the miscreants face down on cement and roughly cuffed, can you?

It's a win/win situation. If you're measuring by the librarian/statist standard.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:17 AM   0 comments
Thursday, November 18, 2004
 
The Macintosh Conspiracy

I prefer PCs to Macs because I've been weaned on them since I was a whelp, through which as a mangled metaphor you can understand I prefer going to the store for a steak to animal husbandry. So pardon me while I extrapolate on the little things that I've uncovered that are undoubtedly some part of an insidious plot to annoy people who try to use both Macintoshes and PCs on a daily basis.
  • In default message boxes, the OK and Cancel buttons are transposed.
    In Windows, the OK button is on the left; in Macintosh, it's on the right. Crikey, now I have to read the buttons before I just click.

  • The bottom row keys are different.
    On Windows keyboards, it's CTRL, Windows Key, ALT, Spacebar; on Macintosh, it's CTRL, ALT, Open Apple (oops, perhaps I have experience on older pre-Macs), Spacebar. It's just a simple transposition, but for those of us who like to do things like use keyboard shortcuts, it means we hit the wrong keys for the shortcuts 90% of the time on our non-dominant platform (Macintosh for me).
I would wager that someone on one side of the idealogical divide did this consciously. Also, I thank goodness the Linux set doesn't have its own keyboard yet.

Sure, they're small things, but when you're at the keys for ten or more hours a day, it's a little fleck of sand under your contact lens.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:25 PM   0 comments
 
Book Review: The Lost Coast by Roger L. Simon (1997)

Curses! Although I bought five of Roger L. Simon's Moses Wine novels in iBooks editions, the release order of the books got me. This book was released as a trade paperback by iBooks second after The Big Fix, so I picked it up second. Ha ha, you guys got me! This is actually a later book, 25 years after the first. Moses Wine is almost fifty, and one of those young children is in college and is accused of murder.

I guess that 25 years is the reason the author got a basic fact wrong regarding the plot of The Big Fix: that the politician was running for the Democrat nomination for President, not for re-election to the Senate. But I digress.

I like this Moses Wine better than his youthful counterpart. He's no longer smoking hashish every couple of pages. Instead, he starts bawling every couple of pages. Sorry, wailing or sobbing, but same thing. Once again, it's not someone I want to emulate, because I strive to remain emotionally stunted and repressed.

As I mentioned, the son has been accused of eco-terrorism which resulted in the death of a logger. Moses Wine goes to northern California and finds himself embroiled in a long running battle between eco-terrorists and eco-vigilantes, between Republicans in Congress and those who don't want to rape Mother Nature on a pool table.

It's a pretty good book, a quick and engaging read. In his introduction, Simon says he's going for a more novelistic approach instead of a mystery novel. Well, he's not as transcendent of genre as Chandler, but he's not Elizabeth Linington.


- posted by Brian J. @ 4:21 PM   0 comments
 
Book Review: The Probability Broach by L. Neil Smith (1980)

I bought this book for six bucks, new, during my recent Springfield binge. Its cover announced that it's the quintessential libertarian science fiction adventure. Hey, I'm a libertarian sort of fellow!

I fully expected this to be an Ayn Rand novel with some sci-fi verve, and that's what it was. Basically, a cop from the dystopian future of 1987 (this book was originally published in 1980, so it's an extrapolation of Jimmy Carter's America) breaks on through to the other side--where the other side is a Libertarian paradise where George Washington didn't put down the Whiskey Rebellion under his statist jackboot and the Hamiltonians were run out of the country. Unfortunately, the cop's statist pursuers, well, pursue him and join up with the Hamiltonians in America and bring gasp! nuclear weapons.

So we don't have the bounty of Galt's speech with its pages of long paragraphs, but we do get a lot of shorter lectures from the enlightened libertarians. At the beginning of the book, it's okay because the action isn't overwhelmed, but at the end, when the book should be reaching climax, it cuts right to the talking. So, ultimately the book drags, but it's another interesting dystopian future piece written twenty years ago (much like A Death of Honor).

Still, it was an enjoyable and easy read, fortunately for me; I also bought the sequel, The American Zone and would really hate to let it slip into the pile of books I've owned, but haven't read, for over a decade. Unfortunately, that segment of my library is growing every year. Honest, Dr. Block, on day I will read that textbook I was required for my Literary Criticism class.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:08 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
 
Toronto Star Misses Hockey

What the (obscenity deleted) is the Toronto Star thinking to entertain the question Should Canada indict Bush?
    When U.S. President George W. Bush arrives in Ottawa — probably later this year — should he be welcomed? Or should he be charged with war crimes?

    It's an interesting question. On the face of it, Bush seems a perfect candidate for prosecution under Canada's Crimes against Humanity and War Crimes Act.

    This act was passed in 2000 to bring Canada's ineffectual laws in line with the rules of the new International Criminal Court. While never tested, it lays out sweeping categories under which a foreign leader like Bush could face arrest.

    In particular, it holds that anyone who commits a war crime, even outside Canada, may be prosecuted by our courts. What is a war crime? According to the statute, it is any conduct defined as such by "customary international law" or by conventions that Canada has adopted.
Holy faltering hockey league, but I'm volunteering for the invasion force to liberate Bush should some Canadian try to make a statement by doing this. Crikey on a cracker, but doesn't this Walkom fellow understand that the local bar's softball team in the J's summer social league could successfully trump the entire Canadian military? I mean, no matter how well the six Canadians remaining in the Canadian military can fight, they're still outnumbered because, remember, in softball there are ten players on the field. Even if the Canadian military calls up the reserves composed of out-of-work NHL players, we'll call up the gas station's softball team!

Canadian winter be damned! I'm from Wisconsin. Bring it.

It's amazing that anyone would take these sorts of sentiments seriously. I don't, otherwise I wouldn't be so glib.

But Thomas Hokkum is no Gordon Sinclair.

(Link seen on Little Green Footballs.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:27 PM   0 comments
 
Homophobia?

Britain to ban fags.


- posted by Brian J. @ 10:53 AM   0 comments
 
Now Maybe the Madness Will End

Chris Lawrence pointed out that the New York Giants will start Manning instead of Warner beginning this weekend.

Hopefully, now the local Fox affiliate will stop playing New York Giants games when they conflict with important Packer games.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:36 AM   0 comments
 
Perspective in the Geek World

Dale Franks at Q and O sees that Sun is just giving Solaris away these days, and he rightfully sneers:
    Solaris isn’t some mystically wonderful operating system chock full of Sun’s proprietary goodness. It’s just freakin’ UNIX for cripe’s sake. They’ve been giving away a free UNIX-based operating system for years, anyway. It’s called Linux, and despite all its hype, it’s still where it was five years ago: restricted to the hard-core, geek community. Ask 10 average computer users what Linux is, and 9 of ’em will tell you it’s the blanket-toting Great Pumpkin kid from Peanuts. In fact, if Sun is giving away Solaris, I suspect it’s far more likely that they’re doing so because Linux is eating into their user base, and there’s a whole UNIX-based open source community that’s starting to eat their lunch.

    Microsoft, on the other hand, owns the desktop. Look, the desktop OS is about as perfect an example of a natural monopoly that you can find. If you have a business--and this is more true the larger the business is--you can’t have twelve different operating systems running concurrently. If you do, your corporate IT division has to puff up like a tick just to support all the different configuration, software, and hardware tics that will result. So will your training section, because every time a typist/clerk has to move from the UNIX/StarOffice system to Windows/Office 200X system, you’ve gotta put them through a whole new training cycle to learn all the new stuff.
I've linked to Dale Franks' posts before because he's a geek with perspective. Software's but a tool, and its silly factions of technology partisans make as much sense as contractors continuing to argue Bosch versus Black and Decker. Who, outside of those partisans and some salespeople, cares?

Perhaps I've stumbled upon the secret of open-source addiction amongst the geek community--not only do the developers get to write it, but they get to sell it, too, but they're not very good salespeople.

Or maybe that's not an insight after all.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:11 AM   0 comments
Monday, November 15, 2004
 
I Want My ADA

No, please, it is a mental illness, making me a protected class completely unfireable in the workplace and able to seek special accommodation from the rest of you:
    Animal hoarders are not necessarily mentally ill, said Gail Steketee, a psychologist at Boston University. "The best bet is to call it a wellintentioned behavior gone awry."

    Steketee is one of dozens of scientists who volunteer with the Hoarding of Animals Research Consortium in Boston, a group formed in 1997 to study the problem. There is no known treatment, she said.

    Animal hoarding, a term coined five years ago, is defined as collecting more animals than can be cared for, combined with a failure to realize the squalid conditions are hurting both the homeowner and the animals.
Someone fund another study, and keep going until I get to collect Social Security for having large numbers of cats.


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:48 PM   0 comments
Sunday, November 14, 2004
 
Hockey Whoopass Jamboree Update

Well, I guess the Milwaukee Admirals, my hometown AHL hockey team, had to lose sometime. As required by the rules of the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, as this fellow feels that the Houston Aeros are a worthy team even though they come from a place where the snow doesn't shine and as the Milwaukee Admirals have lost to said Houston Aeros 5-2, I must post the team's logo here:



Story: Aeros shut down Admirals’ streak: Houston ends regulation run.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:06 PM   0 comments
 
What's In Your Bedroom?

If it's anything less than a Quantum Sleeper, the bed that folds into a safe room, you haven't been watching the news enough lately.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:23 PM   0 comments
 
I Still Won't Resubscribe

Even though someone's starting a campaign to unseat Lewis Lapham, the editor of Harper's, I don't think I'll resubscribe even if they do.

Remember, I just can't read Harper's.

(Link seen on Instapundit.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:15 PM   0 comments
 
Headline of the Day

Spice Girl stalker jailed.

Come on, regardless of what you think of their music or eating disorders, it would be kind of cool to have a Spice Girl stalking you. Even Scary Spice. If it were me, I wouldn't throw her in jail; I'd brag to all my friends (but probably not my wife): "Yeah, that Emma Bunton has been sending me flowers, love notes, and graphic pictures of herself again."


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:32 PM   0 comments
Saturday, November 13, 2004
 
Fortunately for Law and Order, It's Soon To Be a Federal Offense

Voters in Columbia, Missouri have apparently passed referenda decriminalizing the possession of small amounts of marijuana: Voters cut marijuana penalties:
    Decriminalization means if you're caught in the city with a small amount of marijuana, "you don't get arrested, you don't go to jail, and you don't get a record," according to Dan Viets, a Columbia defense attorney who helped spearhead the effort to pass the propositions. He's also defended clients against marijuana charges here for 18 years.
Fortunately, though, the United States Congress will undoubtedly move quickly to make it a Federal crime to possess a joint to cover situations such as this where residents of a particular area try to determine their own standards of behavior.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:27 PM   0 comments
 
New Government Seizure

Here's an interesting story: U.S. orders airlines to turn over passenger data:
    The government on Friday ordered airlines to submit personal information about all passengers who flew within the United States during June so it can test a new system designed to identify potential terrorists.

    The records sought include the names, addresses and itineraries of passengers who traveled on 72 carriers, including AMR Corp.'s American Airlines and UAL Corp.'s United Airlines, the Transportation Security Administration said.
You know, about 500 people complained during open comment period about how this invades their privacy, or how it invades the privacy of people who flew during this period, but it also violates the property rights of the airlines that collected that data. Instead of being compensated for the information they've collected, the TSA (hereafter to be known by the acronym TAY-za) just says, "Stand and Deliver!" without subpoena or judicial process.

It's a continuation of a dangerous precedent that starts with eminent domain and what's next? Source code for applications so that Homeland Security can audit it? The contents of an author's first draft manuscript to ensure it's not incitement of some sort? Your grandmother's brownie recipe to make sure it lacks hashish?

But the government continues to find new and innovative ways to get private property from us, ainna?


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:14 PM   0 comments
Friday, November 12, 2004
 
The Safety of More Cameras

Here's a heartening story for those who like security cameras: Apparent kidnapping videotaped by California mall camera; woman put in trunk of car:
    Two men were caught on a mall's security camera as they chased a woman through a parking lot, then grabbed and stuffed her into the trunk of a car, authorities said.

    Shoppers nearby seemed to notice the incident Sunday night, but none attemped to stop it.

    Police on Thursday were still trying to determine the identities of the woman, who appeared to be in her 20s, and two men seen on the tape made at Corona Discount Mall about 40 miles southeast of Los Angeles.
Remember, the camera doesn't make the victim less dead or less in-the-trunk-of-the-car; it gives the authorities, safely seated at a desk before a monitor, clues to who did it.

Now, class, how would this scenario played out differently if the woman had been carrying a gun?

To add fun to the story:
    "It's very discouraging right now and it's really difficult for us, because we don't know who the victim is," he told KCAL-TV. "And it's obvious that some kind of crime occurred."

    The department had received several calls from witnesses and others in recent days, but had no solid leads, Officer Jesse Jurado said. He said investigators had not yet ruled out the possibility that the incident was a hoax.
Because the camera caught it so clearly, the authorities think it might have been a hoax. So instead of using the camera to determine if the shooting were justified as self defense or not, the discouraged authorities are confused. Was it the crime of kidnapping, or the crime of confusing the authorities and making fun of their cameras?

I guess they'll know when they find the body.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:17 PM   0 comments
 
Wisconsin Expats March on Local Fox Affiliate

That's what the headline will be on Monday if this story is any indicator: 'Warner Factor' influences KTVI:
    KTVI now is dedicated to Kurt Warner.

    Channel 2, the local Fox network affiliate, was hit with a barrage of complaints and significantly lower ratings two weekends ago when it switched from the lopsided New York Giants-Minnesota NFL game to the much closer Detroit-Dallas contest.

    "It's the Warner factor," KTVI general manager Spencer Koch said, referring to the presence of former Rams standout and fan favorite Kurt Warner as the Giants' starting quarterback. "We learned our lesson. We're now a 'dedicated market' for the Giants."
They're planning to pre-empt the Packers/Vikings game this weekend for the Arizona/NY Giants game. Don't they know this means open rebellion? And we'll have an open Sunday to plan it!


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:09 PM   0 comments
 
Choosy Beggars

Here's what you should put in a "perfect" Scouting for Food bag this year:
    • 2 cans of hearty soup, stew or chili supply many nutrients;
    • 2 cans of tuna, chicken, salmon or luncheon meat contain protein and iron, and canned salmon is a source of calcium and omega-3 fatty acids;
    • 1 can of fruit supplies vitamins A and C, folate, potassium, fiber and other healthy substances;
    • 1 can of 100 percent pure fruit juice contains vitamin C and often beta carotene;
    • 1 can of vegetables supplies beta carotene, vitamin C, folate, complex carbohydrates, fiber and potassium;
    • 1 can of tomato or pasta sauce contains lycopene, a healthy substance that is more available to your body in canned and cooked tomatoes than in fresh tomatoes;
    • 1 canned meal offers a variety of ingredients and nutrients;
    • 1 can of beans contains plenty of protein, complex carbohydrates and fiber; and
    • 1 can of evaporated milk makes an excellent source of calcium and protein.
Here's what you're getting out of the Noggle home again this year, same as last year:
  • Any cans of meat, such as Spam, we received as a joke.

  • Any stray cans of stuff that I bought on sale as a bachelor (but was too lazy to prepare) which archeological digs have uncovered in our pantry.

  • The annual can of clam chowder that I buy because I like clam chowder (but was too lazy to prepare). Because Heather doesn't like the the smell, she gets rid of the can by any means necessary.

  • A can of mandarin oranges. Where do they keep coming from?

  • A can or two of corn or beans that we have, which we would eat on our own but because we have an extra, we throw it in.

  • Any cans of french-cut green beans bought by mistake. Probably by me.
I mean, come on, it's charity. I give surplus and cast offs. Whenever someone starts telling me what to give, I think he or she is about one step away from telling me what he or she wants to take and one and a half steps away from just taking it.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:52 AM   0 comments
 
Nobody Learns Latin Any More

Back in the old days, we could say ex post facto, but apparently nobody in Webster Groves studied Latin:
    Some of the chickens have to go, too, and/or some of Silpoch's pigeons, under a resolution passed Nov. 2 by the Webster Groves City Council. It stipulates that Silpoch may keep a total of a dozen birds, no rooster, at her Grant Road home. She now has 44 birds; the council has given her until Jan. 2 to find homes for the remaining 32.
You see, it was once tradition that the government could not pass a law and punish you for behavior before the law was passed. But now, as far as owning property is concerned, the governments can and do strip you of your possession by fiat whenever it wants.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:47 AM   0 comments
 
Book Review: The Big Fix by Roger L. Simon (1973)

I bought this book, a 2000 paperback reprint of the 1973 novel, for five bucks during my book buying spree in Springfield this weekend (wherein I bought 26 new books for myself, which I cannot fit onto my swamped to read bookshelf and must stack on the floor). Mr. Simon, I want you to know that I bought it at an 80% off store, not a used book store, so I hope you'll get your pennies at the end of the quarter from the purchase. Unlike other bloggers whose books I have bought used.

Well, the quality of the book drops from the cover, wherein Ross MacDonald lauds it, to the introduction, where an apparently hashish-enhanced Richard Dreyfuss, that guy who co-starred with Mike the Dog in Down and Out in Beverly Hills (and, I guess, The Big Fix movie, which would make him keenly insightful into American detective fiction). Dreyfuss gushes about the sixties, man, and how Moses Wine is all that and a big bowl.

The book certainly pays homage to Ross MacDonald and Raymond Chandler. The setting is a light version of Ross MacDonald's California, not the romanticized landscape of Chandler. The main character is well-read and intelligent man, albeit one who indulges where Philip Marlowe would abstain. Sure, Marlowe drank, but tells a naked Carmen Sternwood to put her clothes on and go home. Wine? He smokes all the dope and hash profferred and takes the freebie from the prostitute. So the main character is likeable enough, but not someone whom I'd want to emulate. So he falls underneath Marlowe, Spenser, and others in the genre. I'm sure Moses Wine is a good role model if you want to be a self-indulgent adolescult (or however you would spell it phonetically to get the proper ess sound out of the sc) like some baby boomers, particularly those I would imagine in California. But not for this stoic-worshipping hard-boiled reader.

The plot, in a timely enough fashion, revolves around a barking moonbat whose support could derail a Democrat candidate's chances in the primary, and a cabal of rich shadowy figures have their own reasons for it. Moses Wine has to delve, rather easily, into leftist political groups and individuals to find out why. Here's a hint: It involves Satanism and gambling, but no overt Republicans, although holding companies and corporations play a role.

It's also quite the period piece; as I was reading it, I was imagining it in the fashion of Altman's The Long Goodbye which came out the same year.

I did have a little trouble keeping up with the characters and their roles when I was reading a chapter a night, but it eventually cleared into a climax which would have ended differently undoubtedly if Moses Wine carried a gun--which he doesn't, of course.

But I enjoyed it, thankfully, since I bought the rest of the Moses Wine series except for Wild Turkey for five dollars a throw this weekend. Because he's a blogger, see, and I hope someday he'll repay the favor.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:32 AM   0 comments
 
Annoying

In a reasonable post about gay marriage over at Just One Minute, the author offers an update to "refute" an argument by his opponents:
    MORE: For folks viewing gay marriage as a basic human right, this stratgy is deeply annoying. OTOH, my casual research suggests that this "basic right" is recognized in Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, and nowhere else.
Poor form, Peter. By analogy, we could argue that self-defense and ownership of the means to self-defense as a "basic right" is deeply annoying because it's only recognized in a few places. Whether something is a "basic right" or not does not depend on what governments recognize it or not. Instead, a basic right is something which governments should not prohibit.

Marriage is a special case because not only does it represent a behaviour that governments should not regulate--the right to copulate with and spend time with someone-or-more and to raise a family with someone-or-more --but it also adds a layer of government regulation on top, kind of an incorporation of that relationship to confer benefits on it.

Ergo, although government does not, in most cases, restrict the behavior in question, it does confer special benefits upon a certain subclass of that relationship--that one instance of a man and a woman. Marriage is not a basic right, nor are any "rights" of this sort where the government, instead of not prohibiting a behavior, rewards a behavior. These bennies that stem from the government are never a right as they do come from the government at the government's indulgence.

But a lot of people blur the definition of basic right, intentionally or not, to include what their government gives to them instead of what their government cannot take from them.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:57 AM   0 comments
Thursday, November 11, 2004
 
More Other Things I Remember

In response to Other Things I Remember, reader (not "one of my readers", my reader) KG sends in his list of things he remembers:
    • TVs that took 2 minutes to come on and left a white dot in the middle of the screen for 10 minutes after you turned it off
    • The UHF knob
    • Changing channels by hand
    • Pop Tarts packaged in a zip-strip foil package
    • When Kelloggs Corn Pops were called Sugar Pops, Smacks were Sugar Smacks and Super Crisp was Super Sugar Crisp
    • When you missed Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at Christmas (or Charlie Brown, or any seasonal show), you MISSED it. Better luck next year.
    • When you rented videos, you also rented the player.
    • 8 tracks (to this day, I will pause in certain songs waiting for the track to change)
    • Six to eight weeks for delivery
Hey, I remember eight tracks, too. And musical recording media you had to flip, such as records and cassettes. To this day, I think of the CDs that I upgraded from older media as having two sides. As for pausing in songs, I assume he means singing them, and I'll have to admit that yes, when singing certain songs (Billy Joel's "You're Only Human (Second Wind)"), I still sometimes truncate lines to accommodate a scratch in the my 45. Forty-five revolutions per minute record, you damn kids, not caliber.

So here are some other things I remember on a good day:
  • Drive In Movies
    Not in their heyday, of course, and not as a necker. It was cheaper to go to the movies by carload than by individual tickets, so my parents and other parents would combine the families into an Impala and off we'd go. I saw Xtro for the first time at the drive in. Come to think of it, it's the only time I saw the movie.

  • Air Raid Drills
    Not that putting my head between my knees against the wall of the school corridor would have extended my life by a single millisecond when the concussion wave of a nuclear blast hit, but that's the official policy of schools and government everywhere: we care, and we're making a show of doing something, no matter how ineffective.

  • Basement Rec Rooms
    Anyone with mostly dry basements, some wood, and some second hand carpet had a room with an old sofa and perhaps a console stereo where they could send the kids. Or maybe those were Wreck Rooms, I don't know. Sure, people have dens and whatnot, but they're upgrades now, with new furniture and elaborate entertainment facilities.

    Or perhaps I am just lamenting the lack of a rec room in this house which I could convert into a sweet bar.

  • Bell Bottoms, the Original
    I remember these all too well because by the time they were handed down to me / recycled from the neighbors, it was 1981 and I was the only kid in school wearing them yet. I was retro when retro wasn't cool.
That's all I can remember now. Now old Brian needs his nap, and maybe sometime I'll tell you about the how good it was and how much better behaved children were in the 1980s. Or at least my parents asserted that the rest of the children were, why couldn't I?

- posted by Brian J. @ 10:20 AM   0 comments
 
Basic Flaw in Educational System

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch does some fine investigative journalism--namely, examining public records--to uncover a fundamental flaw in the public educational system as exemplified by the St. Louis City schools. The problem: lots of money going to administrative personnel, including a number who make over $100,000 a year. Story: High-paying salaries triple in district.

Too many administrators drawing on too much gravy. I mean, how many assistant superintendents do you need? There's too much infrastructure designed to perpetuate itself and its funding, and too little of the money goes to teachers and to purchase resources that actually directly impact the students.

I don't disagree that you have to competitively pay administrators, or that some administration is necessary, but I do question the number of employees who spread the gravy around.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:26 AM   0 comments
 
Crunch Time

I'm reminded of a project manager who once used, "We all have to pitch in and give a little extra when crunch time comes...." when I read this story:
    Within weeks production had accelerated into a 'mild' crunch: eight hours six days a week. Not bad. Months remained until any real crunch would start, and the team was told that this "pre-crunch" was to prevent a big crunch toward the end; at this point any other need for a crunch seemed unlikely, as the project was dead on schedule. I don't know how many of the developers bought EA's explanation for the extended hours; we were new and naive so we did. The producers even set a deadline; they gave a specific date for the end of the crunch, which was still months away from the title's shipping date, so it seemed safe. That date came and went. And went, and went. When the next news came it was not about a reprieve; it was another acceleration: twelve hours six days a week, 9am to 10pm.
Remember to be Machiavellian with your employers because they most certainly treat you that way; once you've given them 50 hours for a crunch, they will expect 50 and will ask you for 60.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:37 AM   0 comments
 
Tales from Psuedo Bachelorhood IV

DVDs III and IV: El Mariachi and Desperado.

Wow, with El Mariachi, I felt sophisticated since it was a foreign film with subtitles. It didn't hurt that I could recognize or improve upon the English subtitles with my on-the-spot translation.... Perhaps students who want to learn Spanish should watch more videos with subtitles as part of immersion learning. This film certainly had a Western feel to it.

Desperado, on the other hand, does diminish the experience somewhat. Of course, watching them back-to-back, one immediately recognizes the casting of the original Mariachi, Carlos Gallardo, as Campo. Still, the moviereminds me of watching a third person shooter video game. And although Selma Hayek's navel is nice, come on: the hair looks a little coarser than the vibrant, auburn locks that make a man's heart race.

Also, is it just me, or are the villians in both movies kinda gringoesque?

Perhaps I'm just sensitive. Or perhaps Robert Rodriguez is demonstrating his anti-Anglo bigotry. But since I could empathize with the universal nature of his hero, I forgive him.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:02 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
 
Further Adventures in Pseudo Bachelorhood III

Movie #2: Blue Steel (1934) starring John Wayne.

This is the B-side of the double feature DVD I picked up for like $6.00. Hey, I have to hand it to Leisure Entertainment, these transfers are pretty clear and crisp, but this is a 1934 movie, chock full of horse riding and bad men and the double-crossing land grabber. However, it's only fifty-five minutes long, so they cut things like characterization and sped up some of the horse riding to make the cut. Still, it's the Duke.

Oddly enough, I dreamt of an Indian last night, even though neither of the Westerns I watched had Indians. They were cowboys-and-bad-cowboys pictures.


- posted by Brian J. @ 6:58 AM   0 comments
 
Further Adventures in Pseudo Bachelorhood II

DVD #1: Angel and the Badman starring John Wayne.

Okay, so there's a guy with a checkered background and a hot Quaker babe. Why is it that all of these movies I watch when Heather's away remind me of her? Except she's not a Quaker, she's more an Unreal Tournamenter. But that's beside the point.

Also, what's with the GFW final scene of the pic, where the marshal says that only the man who carries a gun needs one? The headlines are full of people who could have used guns but didn't have them. Damn the person who wrote this flick, I hope the HUAC got him blacklisted.

Well, I exaggerate. But that's prone to happen at 0:14 am.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:06 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
 
Other Things I Remember

Here are some things that I can actually remember, and it makes me feel old:
  • Party lines.
    No, not dollar per minute means to talk to people in your area, free means to be unable to use the phone because your neighbor won't get off the phone. I kid you not, certain parts of Jefferson County, Missouri, had them until 1987. On the other hand, since my neighbors were probably listening in on my phone calls for the latest intelligence about my household (and were always available to offer their unwanted commentary on it--kinda like blogs), I learned to speak in code on the phone which helped me when I became a technical writer--and wrote in technospeak to confuse the person who was catching an unwanted glimpse of how the software worked through my documentation!

  • Television tube testers in drug stores.
    Back in the early 1980s, they still had these. I remember seeing them when my mother would send me to the store with a buck and a note for the clerk to sell the nice ten year old boy a pack of cigarettes. Undoubtedly, only the government's belated intervention that made such errands punishable by the drug store's death have kept me from smoking even though my mother persists in shortening her lifespan.

    But kids today won't remember a time when the man of the house would pull out a screwdriver when the television went on the fritz (things never go on the fritz nowadays, either; they gon in the trash) and would hunt for a suspect tube. When he found one, he could take it to the 7-11 to check to see if it was working or not and could buy another tube to fix his own television. Kinda like we geeks persist in doing with our computers. But our children won't be able to operate on the miniaturized bucky-ball spinning computers of tomorrow. So enjoy the pre-retro chic that we have now, I guess.

  • Snow on televisions.
    Speaking of televisions, you remember what snow looked like? Remember how you would adjust the antenna to fix it? Remember the first television you could put on an interior wall of your home because the antenna was strong enough? The television was 19", and it seemed huge.

  • Television dinners with aluminum foil trays.
    Not that I eat many television dinners these days, but I know they're designed for microwaves now because more people probably have microwaves than ovens. You could take the trays, rinsed out of course, to the recycling facility with your aluminum cans.

  • Yugos.
    Cheap little cars from an Eastern Bloc country. A country that no longer exists, in a bloc that no longer exists. Kinda like a communist Gremlin or Pinto, but at least the American punchline cars had longevity.

  • PCjr
    Okay, I don't remember much since my rich uncle got one and wouldn't let me touch it, but it was a home computer, and it had a color screen.

  • Rotary phones.
    When I was in college in 1990, I needed a touchtone phone to handle the interactive voice response for class registration. I had to buy the first touchtone phone in my father's house and I had to pay a monthly surcharge on the phone bill for the privilege. Come to think of it, I am probably still paying for it somewhere.

  • Ghetto blasters.
    Remember dudes with Afros walking through the projects with large radios on their shoulders? You damn kid, never realizing that the iPod was not the first personal musical device. Although, come to think of it, the iPod is personal, whereas the ghettoblaster was not.
Well, it's not the Beloit College Mindset List for Incoming Freshmen, but it's enough to make me want to swizzle the Geritol given to me as a joke--I think--for my last *0 birthday.

Perhaps I shall swizzle more beer instead.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:37 PM   0 comments
 
Further Adventures in Psuedo Bachelorhood

Checklist of things to do when Heather leaves:
  1. Turn on lights in all rooms in house.

  2. Turn on all radios, softly, so I don't have to walk into an achingly silent room.

  3. Practice Unreal Tournament 2003 to catch up with her 733t skillz at it while she's off away from the Arena.

  4. Order pizza.

  5. Drink beer.

  6. Watch DVDs.
Same as last time.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:06 PM   0 comments
Monday, November 08, 2004
 
Book Review: On the Run by John D. MacDonald (1963)

When I was in Milwaukee in October, I visited Downtown Books and bought a number of John D. MacDonald paperbacks, including this one, immediately after I read Judge Me Not. Well, okay, it was the next morning, but I plunked down $1.95 each for five of them.

On the Run runs long at 144 pages, but the title page indicates it was based on a story published in Cosmopolitan. A lot of the filler material includes long passages of declarations of love between the protagonists and a lot of early 1960s I'm OK, You're OKism. Also, orgasms for women are good, and women who want them are not too much for a man to handle, they're just right.

The premise, or at least the tease on the back cover, is that a man on the run from the mob is startled to find a beautiful woman who claims to represent his unremembered rich grandfather who wants to find his estranged grandchildren before he dies. The Man On The Run (MOTR) thinks it's a scam, but he soon falls for the Cosmobabble of the liberated woman, who happens to be the rich grandfather's nurse.

The book represents the worst pacing I have ever seen in a John D. MacDonald book, and I really hope he chalked this one up as an experimentation in style and a departure because he wanted to grow as an artist. However, at its slight weight, it's interesting enough to follow to its conclusion, one of the darkest I have ever seen in a John D. MacDonald book--although the dark ending matches the beginning of The Green Ripper.

Well, sorry, MacDonald fans for blowing it for you.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:27 PM   0 comments
 
Wall To Wall

Heather's got a surprise coming when she returns from her business trip this weekend--I'm recarpeting!

Please, don't anyone ruin the surprise.


- posted by Brian J. @ 2:22 PM   0 comments
 
Is That An Order?

My wife said to me last night, "Honey?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Never mind," she commanded.

Which puts me in quite the logical bind. The next time she tells me to do something and I don't do it, she'll be angry, but I am only following orders. Of course, if I do the next thing she tells me, I am also not minding.

Just to be safe, I think I shall sit in the recliner and pretend I didn't hear.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:53 AM   0 comments
Friday, November 05, 2004
 
Everyone Needs a Hobby

In this story, entitled "Rogue pilot ruffles feathers on migration", we discover that some people do their part to improve the world by flying planes to lead migrating cranes south for the winter.

And sometimes those crazy calhouns get upset:
    As a pilot, crane impersonator and chief executive officer of Operation Migration - the whooping crane migration organization - Duff's emotional well-being relies upon making sure his cranes are happy and healthy.

    So when a rogue ultralight pilot recently sneaked up behind his craft and cranes - as the whoopers were migrating south over Illinois' Lee and DeKalb counties - Duff's mood darkened.

    "For the most part, the ultralight community has been very respectful" about the crane project, he said. If they see Duff and his flying family coming, they get out of the way and land.

    But this time, an unidentified pilot decided to come in for a closer look.

    "I'd seen them ahead of me - maybe about a mile or so in front," he said. There were two crafts, he said. And they moved off to the side.

    Not long after that, he noticed that his birds were falling out of formation and trying to fly ahead of him.

    At first, this didn't ruffle him too much.

    The cranes see Duff and his plane as their parent. And, like any kid, they'll occasionally challenge their sire's authority. When young cranes do this during migration, they fly ahead.

    But this time, Duff said, the birds looked more frightened than sassy. That's when he realized something was wrong.

    He was being tailed.
Man, there's so much snark to be had that I only have time to offer a sample:
  • In its white papers, Operation Migration probably describes itself as the leading migration organization which delivers value in a rapid-flight market or something. The migration organization.

  • In addition to oppressing women, killing dissidents, and funding terror, most Middle East societies probably don't personally lead migratory birds to their winter (or wet season) habitats. Time to liberate some seedcrackers.

  • Dude's wife, if he's married, has probably resigned herself to marriage with an adulterer, whether that's the case or not. Come on, "Honey, I'm going to fly the birds to Texas this week"? She's probably even mad at him for not lying better.

  • The fellow, in addition to being the leading defender of cranes, is also the leading proponent of an annual season on ultralights.
Bah, that's enough for now.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:21 PM   0 comments
 
Rolled a 1 on d6

For those of you who are paranoid enough to want a secret door but are trusting enough to buy one off the shelf, on your credit card, there's Hidden Doors.com.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:46 AM   0 comments
Thursday, November 04, 2004
 
Blasting Bush? Blasting Us

Drudge proclaims that UK PAPERS TRASH BUSH and displays the cover of the Daily Mirror, which features a headline How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB? (See it here.)

My friends, that's not a blast at Bush. That's a blast to those of us who voted for Bush, and indirectly a blast all of America.

Whether Americans who agree with the sentiment know it or not.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:48 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
 
Michael Moore, Depressed? Are You Kidding?

I've seen speculation on blogs this morning and heard it on the radio that Michael Moore must be depressed this morning. If you think so, you're crazy.

Michael Moore has achieved greater infamy and fiscal success in the last four years of his ranting and raving (mostly raving) about George W. Bush. A John Kerry presidency would have proved limiting for Michael Moore's "talents." Fortunately, Michael Moore can continue now with the "work" that has proven so lucrative for him.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:12 AM   0 comments
 
Will Darren Sharper Testify?

If the maelstrom of lawsuits comes, will Green Bay Packer safety Darren Sharper testify, as an expert for the defense, upon the theft of an election that was a guaranteed Kerry victory based on the unrelated and certainly non-causual occurrence regarding the Redskins' wins and losses preceding a presidential election?

If so, the Republicans should call Manny Ramirez to testify that 2004 is an outlier, wherein historical streaks come to an end.


- posted by Brian J. @ 9:04 AM   0 comments
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
 
How Cool Is That?

In an e-mail with a friend, I just referred to Israel as the Middle East's oldest democracy.

How cool is that? That would be a legacy for a president, ainna?


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:31 PM   0 comments
 
An Attack on Free Speech

I don't know which is worse, the headline "Dutch filmmaker accused of ridiculing Islam slain", with its passive voice implication that maybe he had it coming to him since he was, after all, accused of ridiculing Islam, or the first paragraph:
    A controversial Dutch filmmaker accused by Muslims of ridiculing their religion was stabbed and shot dead in Amsterdam on Tuesday, shocking the Netherlands where the killing was denounced as an attack on free speech.
Pardon my Midwestern simplicity here, but I think that a more basic right was violated somewhere along the line. But to some people, the metaphor's more important than the concrete, and the abstract more important than the specific, and you cannot suffer along with the oppressed dead guy if it's just murder--but if it's suppression of free speech, it's just like Bush's America!

(Link seen on Instapundit.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:44 AM   0 comments
 
The Funniest Thing on the St. Louis County Ballot

    Preposition A: Shall the St. Louis County Charter be amended so that any County assistance of value, whether direct or indirect, to development of a professional sports facility, requires prior to any assistance being given that the County Auditor first prepare a fiscal note and that the governing body proposing to take action to provide financial assistance hold a public hearing and that the financial assistance be approved by a majority of the qualified voters of the County voting thereon?
Jeez, in the last ten years, they've built or funded a new hockey/basketball arena, a football stadium, and a baseball stadium. This will pretty much eliminate a new professional dog racing track or perhaps an Olympic venue.

On the other hand, if this passes, it will be funny to see how the politicos in power deal with the trigger in the St. Louis Rams' current lease that they can leave if the Edward Jones Dome falls out of the top ten facilities in the nation. Undoubtedly, the County and the city will find money to refurbish professional sports arenas without a pesky hearing.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:25 AM   0 comments
 
Michael Moore of Video Gaming

Spare us the enlightened citizens' re-education through First Person Shooters. From the Entertainment Weekly profile of the forthcoming Halo 2:
    Clearly, there are political and religious dimensions to Halo 2 that were absent from the first game. ("You could look at [the story] as a damning condemnation of the Bush administration's adventure in the Middle East," admits Staten.) Such provocative themes were bound to come under the scrutiny of Microsoft's legal team. Even as the game was getting its final polish, lawyers forced Staten to change the name of an alien antagonist, arguing that it carried Muslim overtones. Staten objected. Nonetheless, some of the voice actors (who include Michelle Rodriguez, Ron Perlman, and Miguel Ferrer) were called back to rerecord dialogue only weeks before the final version was delivered.
My knee jerk reaction is to condemn it out of hand, but hey, he's a storyteller, and he can tell the story he wants. We in the West allow people to express themselves and seek to better our own consciousnesses by understanding other cultures, even those completely at odds with our way of life.

Hey, that's well and good. Just so we don't forget that our culture affords tolerance and certain parts of ours does not, and our culture, though imperfect, is better than the peak of Islamicism and we defend it.

(Link seen on The Bleat, which is a daily column from some obscure Minnesotan newspaperman.)


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:15 AM   0 comments
 
In Order to Form a More Perfect Punned-It-Ocracy I

The friendly woman at the gym did really say that the friendly staph was there to serve us?


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:47 AM   0 comments
 
In Order to Form a More Perfect Punned-It-Ocracy II

I guess, then, as the opposite of disenfranchised voter, an enfranchised voter is a voter whose product, votes, is available in many different locations, such as several different polling places or states.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:42 AM   0 comments
Monday, November 01, 2004
 
McClellan Wants a Draft

In the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Bill McClellan favors a draft for important reasons:
    The military used to be the Church of the Second Chance. If a youngster got in trouble, he was often given the choice - the military or jail.
I think that's the only actual reason why he favors a draft. The rest is a ramble.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:16 PM   0 comments
 
Steinberg Didn't Say That, Did He?

It looks like Neil Steinberg said this:
    That isn't enough, however. Christianity never seems happy unless it is on the march, and why be satisfied practicing your faith when you can also try to impose it upon others?
Outrageous. Absolutely outrageous.


- posted by Brian J. @ 5:11 PM   0 comments
 
Your One Stop Paranoia Shop

Okay, so read this bit in Ann Althouse's Dick Cheney's Hawaiian visit:
    5) Another very pretty girl whom I could only conclude was a Secret Service groupie. She came in and as I gave her a lei she held up her Bush Cheney sign and asked where she could get autographs from Secret Service guys. I pointed them out to her but told her I didn't know if she'd have any luck. I saw her after the event and she had managed to get several!
So here's the question from your shidoshi of paranoia:
    What can someone forge with a Secret Service agent's signature?

- posted by Brian J. @ 4:04 PM   0 comments
 
And Next....

Note to Pediatrics: Instead of banning BB guns and paintball guns because FOUR CHILDREN A YEAR or fewer die from them, how about we focus first on the more dangerous schnucking STAIRCASES and BATHTUBS, which kill far more?

Because they don't look like EEEEEEEEVIL GUNS? Okay, then, as long as we understand the real goal here.

Coming soon in this month's Musings magazine: a study about how deadly raging academic stupidity is. Never mind the study or the methodology, the press release announcing the study is the important thing.


- posted by Brian J. @ 1:38 PM   0 comments
 
Book Review: MENSA Think-Smart Book by Dr. Abbie F. Salny & Leris Burke Frumkes (1986)

I picked this book at a yard sale some years ago and have just gotten around to it now. It's a thin book, 124 pages, broken into chapters that provide different puzzles/means of cognition and intelligent ways to approach them. Memorization tips, visual skills, and whatnot.

It's an interesting little book, with nice little tricks. However, it's not going to put me over the cusp into the warm embrace of Mensa, mostly because the book doesn't cure lazy. But if you're motivated to improve your thought, it's a quick enough read.


- posted by Brian J. @ 11:40 AM   0 comments
 
Interesting Occurrence

As some of you know, I was home in Milwaukee this weekend. As some of you in Wisconsin know, John Kerry and George Bush are holding simultaneous rallies in downtown Milwaukee (please don't anything blow up).

I knew about the Kerry rally the minute I walked down Wisconsin because I was accosted by Kerry volunteers on every corner who wanted my attendance.

On the other hand, I wouldn't have known about the Bush rally if I hadn't seen it on the news.

I hope this smacks of a certain amount of desperation to get bodies--that Bush has already filled up the convention center and that Kerry needs street people to fill the plaza outside the Starbucks. But who knows? One sees what one wants to see.


- posted by Brian J. @ 8:08 AM   0 comments
 
Channelling Pejman

I feel so Pejmanic posting this love poem, but he started it with all the poems he's posting these days. So here's on with which I became reacquainted this weekend:

Cruise
by David Gilmour

Cruise you are making me sing
Now you have taken me under your wing
Cruise, we both know you're the best
How can they say you're like all the rest

Cruise, we're both travelling so far
Burning out fast like a shooting star
Cruise I feel sure that your song will be sung
And will ring in the ears of everyone

Saving our children, saving our land
Protecting us from things we can't understand
Power and Glory, Justice and Right
I'm sure that you'll help us to see the light
And the love that you radiate will keep us warm
And help us to weather the storm

Cruise, you have taken me in
And just when I've got you under my skin
You start ignoring the fears I have felt
'Cause you know you can always make my poor heart melt

Please don't take what I'm saying amiss
Or misunderstand at a time such as this
Because if such close friends should ever fall out
What would there be left worth fighting about

Power and glory, justice and right
I'm sure that you'll help them to see the light
Will you save our children, will you save our land
And protect us from all the things we can't understand?
Power and glory and justice for all
Who will we turn to when your hard rain falls

(Lyric source.) It's from his album About Face, and somehow I think this 1984esque song probably meant it as satire.

I, on the other hand, remember the feelings I had when I sat in a stadium in southwest Missouri and an A10 flew over. An ugly machine crafted only to rain fire and death. Even though I knew this, I was happy that our technology is better than theirs. All of them others theirs.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:52 AM   0 comments
 
The Deity Speaks?

It's rumored at Powerline that Brett Favre has spoken:

    UPDATE: Hah! It's true what they say about Karl Rove. Dusty Tryggestad writes:
      Actually, my mom recieved a recorded message from Brett Favre supporting Bush. Reference was made to today's win vs the Redskins. I would imagine this is playing all over Wisconsin.
    I think this could make the difference in Wisconsin. I mean, really.
St. Louisians, this is not the equivalent of an Ozzie Smith endorsement; this is Jack Buck and Kurt Warner (2000) telling you to vote for a candidate.

If true.


- posted by Brian J. @ 7:38 AM   0 comments
To say Noggle, one first must be able to say the "Nah."