Problems with the Libertarian Party

As I might have indicated before, I'm not a member of the Libertarian Party for several reasons. VodkaPundit hammers on one of the themes: Libertarian foreign policy. In the Utopia projected by the Libertarians, we could disengage from the world and only respond when attacked, and only in defense. Invasions would be almost entirely out of the question. I'm far more Machiavellian than that. Sometimes decimation is too lenient.

The Libertarians also need to understand that some laws do need to be in place, and that the government can serve some purpose in its arbitrary nature to resolve disputes among citizens and to set guidelines.

I went to see Michael Badnarik speak when he came through St. Louis. He spoke to a bunch of us in the basement of a pizza parlor, and we talked for a while about some issues wherein I wanted to know pragmatically how he would handle things. Eventually, the conversation turned into a monologue, as it often does with idealogues, and he came around to privatizing or eliminating the air traffic control system.

But how will the airplanes keep from colliding, either my beautiful wife or El Guapo asked.

People stay in their own lanes on the roads for the most part, the politician said.

But the government paints the lines, I replied.

Hah! My second-best dig at a candidate for the presidency. First, of course, was in 1984 when I attended a Mondale speech in St. Charles, Missouri, when I led the charge of people tearing the Mondale signs apart and penning our own Reagan signs to wave. Much to the chagrin of the gifted program teacher who brought me during a school day. I was 12. I would say I was born conservative, but I was a premie, which doesn't seem to be a conservative viewpoint at all.
- posted by Brian J. @ 2:06 PM   0 comments

 
Smacking Down Professionals, Too

After turning the glare of my trivial knowledge onto Harvey of Bad Money and Blackfive of Blackfive for their old movie misquotes, I turn my attention to a professional: Russell Scott Smith of the New York Post. Although I thought I scored a direct hit, I must admit that Scott Smith Russell, or Smith Russell Scott, or whatever concatenation of first names represents the name on his or her Social Security card, only mischaracterizes a movie trivium when writing about the current "buy an imaginary girlfriend on eBay" shtick. The article says:

She had been watching the 1987 movie "Can't Buy Me Love," starring Patrick Dempsey as a dorky high schooler who pays a cheerleader $1,000 a month to date him.

The deal's not for $1000 a month, which indicates more than a month's worth of salary. Instead, Ronald pays $1000 to purchase a new outfit to replace the one that the soc girl has ruined, and only after intense negotiation beside the steps to the school do they agree to limit their faux dating to a single month. So the $1000 is a one-time fee, much what losers find on eBay.

So the pros only misrepresent the facts, instead of just getting their throwaway lines wrong. I'm not sure I am encouraged.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:26 PM   0 comments

 
Missouri, Oklahoma, New Mexico, All The Same

Taranto leads to Boston Globe story about "Little John" Kerry. Little John's been lacing up the skates to play hockey in New Hampshire and soon Michigan to show he's one of the guys. Since Missourians are not hockey fans--the St. Louis Blues, the River Otters, the Springfield Spirit, and other teams notwithstanding--John Kerry's willing to do what it takes to prove he's down with us homies in the MidWest:

"I guess I'll ride a bucking bronco or a bull or something," Kerry joked. "I'm game. Whatever they got."

What the johnk do we look like to this coastal freaking cosmopolitan liberal botullism-imbibing nutbar? A bucking bronco or a bull or something?

I am speechless. I have nothing snarky to say. He didn't even invoke the Missouri mule. What we all like here is a ro-d-o! Excuse me while I go punch a cow.

Mizzou, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Texas, California, it's all the same to Massachusetts-area dilettante senators.

Good thing I am not reading more of this damn Boston paper's story, with its allusions to Jean Carnahan as a real Senator or that St. Louis could shake up 800 people when brought together by St. Louis mayor Frankie Slayer and the entire Democrat machine to greet Little John, or I might really get irritated.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:06 PM   0 comments

 
Don't Give My Opponents Ideas

Fark links to a story which I find personally very frightening: Tempers Flare During 'Taboo' Board Game.

The party game wasn't the only thing taboo. Three men were arrested on felony charges after a game of Taboo went awry at a Conway home.

Officers were called to the home Sunday after two men threatened others with guns because they were losing the game, in which one teammate gives clues about certain subject matter, but using certain words is taboo.

Sorry, guys, I know I can be unsufferable when I play this game because I am Olympian and you're all Little League, but there's no need to draw down on me.

True story:

Clue: "She was a historical figure...."
Brian J. Answer: "Joan of Arc. Next, please. Come on, we're on a deadline here."

Putting a couple of slugs in me is the only way to stop me at Taboo. Better make them high caliber, because a .22 or .38's not going to shut me up.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:52 PM   0 comments

 
Doing Johnny Ashcroft's Dirty Work

Susan Murray has an op-ed piece in the Washington Post wherein she posits that reality television is making America more comfortable with a surveillance society. And then she says:

But reality TV does play a crucial role in mitigating our resistance to such surveillance tactics. More and more of these programs rely on the willingness of "ordinary" folk to live their lives in front of cameras. These people choose to have sex, get married, give birth, compete for prizes, work, fight, weep and brush their teeth in front of millions. We, as audience members, witness this openness to surveillance, normalize it and, in turn, open ourselves up to such a possibility.

Some of us have a desire to become reality TV celebrities; others set up a blog or a webcam.

Dammit! Now that we've been fingered as undercover operatives, do you think the checks from the federal government will stop?

Also, will someone please call for a Congressional inquiry to find out who leaked our undercover operation?
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:47 PM   0 comments

 
Ten Ways To Get Fired

Yesterday, I pointed out Ways to Annoy Your Co-Workers.

Today, I'll help you out if you just want to end it all: here are Ten Ways to Get Fired.

The article, like the other one, takes the standpoint that you shouldn't do these things. I was rather hoping for how-to guides.

I've only been fired once, and the day after my last day the boss called to ask why I wasn't at work--but that's a long, albeit amusing story. Buy me a Guinness sometime and I'll tell you about Bob "I Own The Business." One of my coworkers brought in doughnuts everytime she got fired. Me, I took it as an opportunity to stay home and look for a better job. What was my point?
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:39 PM   0 comments

 
I Don't Think That Means What You Think It Means

Instapundit links to a Wired article about outsourcing. It's an even-handed treatment, but the author quotes an Indian programmer:

Aparna Jairam isn't trying to steal your job. That's what she tells me, and I believe her. But if Jairam does end up taking it - and, let's face facts, she could do your $70,000-a-year job for the wages of a Taco Bell counter jockey - she won't lose any sleep over your plight. When I ask what her advice is for a beleaguered American programmer afraid of being pulled under by the global tide that she represents, Jairam takes the high road, neither dismissing the concern nor offering soothing happy talk. Instead, she recites a portion of the 2,000-year-old epic poem and Hindu holy book the Bhagavad Gita: "Do what you're supposed to do. And don't worry about the fruits. They'll come on their own."

She's quoting the Bhagavad Gita? The Bhagavad Gita? That, and the particular quote, is particularly funny and ironic.

Here's the Brian's Notes version of the Bhagavad Gita, kids: Prince Arjuna is a little reluctant to enter a war where he has friends and relatives on the other side. He's a bit reluctant to go into battle because he doesn't want to slaughter them. His charioteer, Krishna, happens to be an incarnation of a deity, and he spends the poem convincing Arjuna that it's his duty to go into battle and slaughter his friends and relatives because that's how the his life is scripted. So Arjuna does. I'd imagine this quote is Krishna giving a pep talk, probably before revealing one of his majestic and terrifying forms.

With that context, make of the quote what you will. Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of Java!

Note: Don't take this post as demeaning to the Bhagavad Gita or Hinduism. Go read the whole thing, as they say. It's an interesting piece, and describes an eastern worldview that I don't entirely share. It's got certain truths in it, though, and as from any philosophical work, perhaps you can draw something from it to apply to your own life.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:23 PM   0 comments

 
Perhaps You Don't Understand The Point

The Biz Journals e-mail newsletter I get links to this story with the headline Don't play blame games: When blame is thrown around, it prevents work from being done.

I think this guy doesn't understand the point: to not do work and get away with it.

It's not a bug of the blame game, it's a feature.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:00 PM   0 comments

 
Innoculation

I don't know what Wonkette is, and I don't visit the site that frequently, but adding it to the blogroll seems to innoculate you against getting blogrolled by snide simpletons.

Balloon Juice has the details.
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:56 PM   0 comments

 
Blogger Offers Encouragement

The front page of Blogger.com offers this encouragement:

Get Your Deal  Congratulations to Wil Wheaton who recently joined the ranks of bloggers-turned-authors with a fancy three-book deal. Folks, don't get left out, learn How To Get A Book Deal With Your Blog. It's all good.

Wil Wheaton, anonymous blogger, makes good. It could happen to me, too!

More likely, the "it could happen to me, too" would apply to the poor template design and permalink zaniness that Blogger's own blog demonstrates.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:36 PM   0 comments

 
Say Nay, Kid

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, local government officials want to change the name of the ballpark from Pac Bell SBC Your Name Here! Park to Mays Field at Your Name Here! Park. To honor Willie Mays, the Say Hey Kid. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

SBC and the Giants organization are resistent to the idea. I can understand SBC's reluctance. The Giants will come around, though, once they realize that in ten years they can sell both names, making it Your Name Here! Field at Your Name Here! Park.

And in fifteen years, they'll be selling the players' names. "Listen, kid, to play in the National League, you've got to take the name given you. You'll be Yahoo! Google, or you'll be playing in the Grapefruit League for the rest of your life."
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:58 PM   0 comments

 
I Had To Quell Free Speech In Order To Save It

According to the New York Post, Al Franken physically attacked a LaRouche supporter who was dissenting from the views of Howard Dean.

"I got down low and took his legs out," said Franken afterwards.

I don't get the joke, Alfrie, but I generally don't. Were you making some point about how you think Republicans show false machismo by picking on small national threats, or something too sublime for me to imagine?
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:51 PM   0 comments

 
Only Ten?

MSN has Ten Surefire Ways to Tick Off Your Coworkers on its Careers site. Hey, I took a look because I thought I might pick up some new techniques. Unfortunately, this little document is about things you might do that might tick off your co-workers and why you shouldn't do it. I don't do the ones listed here.

I have, however, inadvertently stumbled across other surefire techniques to, if not tick off, at least raise hackles of, co-workers and office mates. So might I suggest the following:

• Audible smacking of gum.
  
  
• Real-time audio commentary to whatever sputteringly shocking news story you are looking at on the Web. Also, do this for at least six hours a day.
  
  
• A messiah complex, wherein you exclaim to anyone who is listening that you are the greatest job title that ever was, but low how they mistreat you. Oh, how sorry they will be when you're gone. How lonely they will be in the silence of the whining.
  
  
• Answering questions that weren't asked and then vigorously defending your position to a startled co-worker. Remember to get angrier if he or she agrees or tries to appease you.
  
  
• Clearing the nose and the throat with gusto. Every couple of minutes.
  
  
• Vigorous scratching and appropriate relief noises, particularly if you can bare the skin to scratch.

I am sure my former office mate could add more to this list, but until the doctors break through his catatonia defense mechanism, we'll never know.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:28 PM   0 comments

 
Heather Gains Some Geek Cred

In my continuing quest to shape Heather into a more well-rounded geek, tonight I forced her to watch The Last Starfighter.

So feel free to stop by her blog and to remind her, via comments, Greetings, star fighter! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada.

A couple of episodes of Doctor Who (with Colin Baker) are next in her education.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:19 PM   0 comments

 
The Perfect Storm

In the 1980s, it was global cooling.
In the 1990s, it was global warming.

With a new decade laid before us, we should expect some new blight upon us, a pox brought upon humanity by technology and the rising standard of living around the world.

Oh, but no. The best they can do for the 2000s: global cooling caused by global warming.

Yawn.

(Link seen on Drudge.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:15 PM   0 comments

 
Mrs. du Toit Concurs

Mrs. du Toit, whose retirement was shorter than an athlete who retires in his or her prime, concurs with my assertion that workers in danger of being outsourced should loosen up and make themselves more marketable.

Great minds, or at least the mind of a wanker and a du Toit, often, or at least once, move in tandem.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:11 PM   0 comments

 
Hey, You're Not Barbara Ehrenreich!

Over at the Independent Women's Forum, bad Charlotte takes issue with a piece in the New York Times Magazine that resins up the bow for the poor in America, particularly one woman whose tragic life story runs a gamut of poor decisions and short-sightedness. As it is in the New York Times Magazine, the author blames her miserable life on America, not on her miserable self.

As soon as Barbara "Nickel and Dime Bagged" Ehrenreich is back from her next indiscretion that could prevent her from getting a job at Wal-Mart, perhaps she could comment. Maybe we should hope she does not.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:06 PM   0 comments

 
Tony Blair Breeds Prostitutes

Drudge links to a story in the News of the World about an eighteen-year-old British student who's going to sell her virginity on eBay to pay for her schooling.

Let's enumerate the sordid details, shall we?

1. She's only eighteen, and she's only still a virgin because she's a lesbian.
2. She's going to the university to get a Bachelor of Science degree in Social Policy.
3. She's hard up because she's working 3 shifts a week.
4. The government is only giving her £3000, which leads poor Rosie to say:
   "The government has made it difficult for people like me to follow their ambition to study.
   
   "I wish we could concentrate on learning rather than constantly worrying about money or working to get by.
   
   "I think Tony Blair and Charles Clarke are encouraging a class divide, which is wrong and goes against all of Labour's principles."
5. In Social Policy in British universities, false dilemma logical fallacies are proper rhetoric for socialism:
   "I'm not willing to sacrifice my future for the sake of a part-time job, so I am faced with two choices—years in debt or prostituting myself on the internet for my education."
6. Her lesbian lover supports her as long as she is safe, but is angry that she's [Rosie] in this position.
7. A British newspaper presented this as news.

British kids these days. Fortunately, we won both the revolution and the War of 1812, or these would be our future leaders and Socialist Policy setters. Our own are bad enough.
- posted by Brian J. @ 11:38 PM   0 comments

 
Update Your Hockey Lexicons

Heather and I went to see the St. Louis Blues lose to the Dallas Stars this evening, and during the course of the evening I came up with some terms that I think should make their way into common hockey parlance. So please update your hockey lexicons to include the following:

• It's like football with polearms. Heather got four choice tickets from her employer, so we brought along a co-worker from España. I like to boil things down succinctly to apt metaphors which don't require too much scrutiny. No, stop, don't closely compare hockey to soccer wherein the players carry halberds and attempt to decapitate each other. The National Hockey League is trying to get away from that image.
  
  
• You know, every time someone shoots the puck between the goaltender's legs, it's going five-hole, or sometimes when a commentator has a flash of cross-sport brilliance, the puck goes through the wickets. I prefer the puppy's gone home through the doggie door. How does that work for you?

Sports commentators, you don't need to pay licensing fees for these terms. However, a mention of my name, Brian J. Noggle, would be nice, or a gift from my inexpensive Amazon wish list perhaps. Thank you, that is all.
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:58 PM   0 comments

 
I Am Stunned, Stunned I Tell You

This story in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle indicates that men who drink more than fourteen drinks per week and women who drink more than seven drinks a week might be abusing alcohol. Is that really "abusing" alcohol?

Alcoholic beverages, such as delicious Guinness Draught, are designed for human consumption. Consuming them, and even consuming lots of them, is actually using them properly. Now, taking a couple bottles of Jack Daniels Old #7 Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey, pouring them over a couple of derelict sofas, and lighting them on fire, that's alcohol abuse. Whiskey is not supposed to be an accelerant in arson. It's supposed to be a slight intoxicant.

On the other hand:

"I'm stunned by some of this information," said Roxanne Klingensmith, a deacon at St. James Episcopal Church.

The deacon should ask herself, How often do I seek out information that stuns me? Information should educate or, well, inform; if it produces a physiological effect such as immobilization and if one frequently finds oneself stunned or seeking stunning information, one might well suffer from informationism and might abuse information.

(Link seen on Fark.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 12:57 PM   0 comments

 
Line Forms at the Left

Tim Blair links to this remarkably in-depth recap retrospective on the Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck relationship which publicly lasted 18 months or at least two movie promo cycles.

Within it we find this job description:

One reason for the final demise of the relationship is said to be Jennifer's desire to settle down and have a baby. Another, according to Us, was her chagrin at Ben's partying ways.

My bachelor friends, if you would like to impregnate and perhaps share a house (and bed) for the long-term (two years? three years?) with Jennifer Lopez, send your resumes to:

Jennifer Lopez
C/O United Talent Agency
9560 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 500
Beverly Hills, CA 90212

or

Jennifer Lopez
C/O International Creative Management
8942 Wilshire Blvd
Beverly Hills CA 90211

Please include a photograph.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:06 AM   0 comments

 
If They Want You, They've Got You

The other white African-American links to a cautionary tale about a family that was a little different from the rest, and the felony prison sentences that resulted.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:38 PM   0 comments

 
A Quiz for AC

Loyal reader AC loves when I waste his time with quizzes, so might I recommend this one:

I am Kung Fu Master. I like to be in control of myself. I dislike crowds, especially crowds containing people trying to kill me. Even though I always win, I prefer to avoid fights if possible. What Video Game Character Are You?

(Recommended by my beautiful wife.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:22 PM   0 comments

 
Next Step: Making Opaque Walls Illegal

San Mateo, California, has made private karaoke booths illegal since people can do illegal things in public places where the public cannot hear you.

I'd like to point out that opaque walls are a greater danger, since people can do things behind those walls which the public and law enforcement officials cannot see, but I would hate to give them ideas.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:02 PM   0 comments

 
Barbecuing Your Own Pork

Apparently, the St. Louis Regional Convention and Sports Complex Authority that was formed in 1989 to build a megolithic publicly-funded dome stadium to lure a football team is still in business, even though its job was completed in 1995. It's paying six figures to its members, maintaining a luxury suite in the Trans World Edward Jones Your Name Here! Dome, and setting itself up to be a gravy train for two more decades.

What, you mean the vaunted Civic Leaders are in it to feather their own nests at the expense of the taxpayers? I am shocked, shocked I tell you!

How long until Richard "Il Dick" Gephardt can join in now that his small-potatoes, low-paying political career is over?
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:53 PM   0 comments

 
Please Your Masters

A bit of candor from a municipal official regarding property rights, that is, the municipalities right to revenue from property superceding an individual owner's "rights":

But until now, its attractiveness has not resulted in a use of the land that pleased Richmond Heights, said City Manager Michael Schoedel. Instead, the property had been home to a Steak 'N Shake, Burger King, a gas station and other similar establishments.

"The Galleria is clearly our bread and butter, and we wanted something across the street that would support it," Schoedel said.

If the owner preferred to use the land for a Steak 'N Shake, Burger King, a gas station, and other similar establishments? Who cares what the owner wants? Property rights come from the State's pleasure.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:40 PM   0 comments

 
Steinberg Edges Closer to the Blog Side of the Force

Neil Steinberg's back to two columns a week in the Chicago Sun-Times. His new Wednesday column, though, is a collection of short pieces about various subjects.....

Add a couple links, put it on the Web, and it's a blog!

Come on, Neil. You know we want ya ta.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:34 PM   0 comments

 
Daddy, Where Does Petroleum Come From

Professor Reynolds has the word about people who claim that Bush's Mars program is all about sending Haliburton to Mars to look for oil.

Honey, if Haliburton finds oil on Mars, there are far greater things to worry about than the rich getting richer.

Such as:
How will the discovery of freaking life, albeit dead and decomposed, on another planet impact the Religious Right's support of Bush?
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:32 PM   0 comments

 
Werd to Your Mother

One of them damn venture capitalists explains why CEOs fail.

Build your own checklist, and mark it up for your CEO!
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:23 PM   0 comments

 
Hmmmmm.....

Andy Kessler writes in OpinionJournal.com that one can self-publish a book and succeed.

Maybe we won't be residing this year after all, honey.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:35 PM   0 comments

 
Layer Up, Prosecutors; It's Cold Out There

In this FoxNews.com story, we find (under the heading of "Now, Honey, Do as I Say, Not as I Do") another example of clever prosecutorial layering:

The 10-minute pursuit Friday morning ended outside Del Mar Pines School with the arrest of Stacy L. Taylor for investigation of evading arrest and child endangerment.

Got that? Child Endangerment. Mother runs off from a ticketing officer, and suddenly she's under the stormcloud of a nebulous criminal charge.

Any moving violation can now become child endangerment. Speeding? Rolling through a stop? What if someone were to be coming the other way? The Children might have been endangered!

I think this post makes me guilty of conspiracy of child endangerment or perhaps incitement of child endangerment.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:30 PM   0 comments

 
Two Google Searches I Could Do Without

Unfortunately, I score highly on:

• "+too+much+qa"
  Too much QA? There's never enough QA, much less too much.
  
  
• leather-futures
  Perhaps I should be proud of this one. I am a Googlewhack.

- posted by Brian J. @ 8:17 PM   0 comments

 
What If Seattle Needs a Wal-Mart?

Kim du Toit is all over a story in the Seattle Workers' Revolution story about Bill Gates buying properties surrounding his home and letting friends and family members live there. In some cases, the original owners are still there, living in Bill Gates's house.

And this accumulation of property by a capitalist must be stopped, or so the story implies.

But let's get to the point of the knife. The municipal government's worried about its money:

If other residents follow Gates' lead, that could present some challenges for the city of 3,000, said Medina City Manager Doug Schulze. Much of the money the city gets from the state is based on population. If people buy up surrounding houses and don't have people living in them, the city's share of state funding might decline, he said.

Ah, yes. Lest we forget, the government has a right to revenue from property owners. Or so it's assuming.

That's why your house is worth less to your local government than a dozen empty parking spaces in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and why this local government is beginning to make noise about preventing a man from acquiring property legally. For the neighborhood, and undoubtedly for the Children.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:09 PM   0 comments

 
Return of the Architects

It sounds like a Dr. Who episode, all right, but it's not. Ozguru probably should have called his post Revenge of the Architects for all the damage the vice presidents of technology and software architecture do.

Oh, how we know how you feel.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:46 PM   0 comments

 
What About Poor Melissa?

How short are the memories of technology writers, or how short do they think their audiences' memories are?

Every new threat reminds them of the last threat.

When will we see another Melissa? Another Morris Worm? Never, because those damn kids don't remember Melissa, and they won't remember Code Red, Nimba, Bugbear, or Beagle/Bagle by this summer.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:36 PM   0 comments

 
Fighting for the Little Guy

Once again, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch issues the clarion and unfurls the banner of fighting for the little guy. In this case, it's a 412-pound truck driver fired because he couldn't fit behind the steering wheel of the truck he was supposed to drive.

We covered this in my collegiate class on ethics and contemporary issues. It's not discrimination if it disqualifies you from the physical duties of the job. You don't see many 4'8" centers in the NBA, nor will you see paraplegics as warehouse pickers. If a person just cannot do the job, the employer has no obligation to continue paying that person for nothing.

But this guy, and his mighty champion paper, want him to retain his position and pay without doing the work. Instead of hanging onto the old, perhaps he should look for new opportunities. Like being a dispatcher, where he can sit all day.

That's forward thinking, and that's not what people or the Post-Dispatch do.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:23 PM   0 comments

 
Woe, Woe Upon Me

I am only the number 8 Google hit for sexy grocery baggers.

I guess I better hit the gym with Heather more frequently.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:47 PM   0 comments

 
Silicon Valley Street Seethes, Whines

(Headline style appropriated from Charles Johnson.)

Speaking of outsourcing, Alan Lacy, CEO of Sears hits the nail on the head, and undoubtedly United States developers will shriek as though it was their collective thumbnails he hit:

But I think, beyond that, to me, a very interesting trend right now is the whole non-U.S. opportunity that's available, and ... if you think about personal intelligence and drive being randomly distributed by population -- you know, there are four or five times as many smart, driven people in China than there are in the U.S. And there's another four or five, three or four times as many people in India that are smarter or as smart or have more drive. And if technology is now going to basically reduce location as a barrier to competition, then essentially you've got something like whatever that was, seven or nine times, more smart, committed people that are now competing in this marketplace against certain activities.

Right on, brother. Give the jobs to the cheapest and smartest people you can find.

Don't like it, fellow IT professional? Get smarter, get faster, get cheaper, or get out of the way.

Never mind. Seething and whining plays better to the id and on the network news.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:28 PM   0 comments

 
Overheard at a Garage Sale

(Apologies to Trey Givens.)

Woman (noticing Ayn Rand University Sweatshirt): Ayn Rand, isn't she a writer? Brian J.: Yes, she is. Woman: She lives in New Orleans, right? Brian J.: Uh, no.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:13 PM   0 comments

 
Book Review: The Book Wars by James Atlas (1990)

This edition of The Book Wars contains advertisements for Federal Express, now more commonly known as FedEx, facing each chapter. The publisher is Whittle Direct Press, and it's part of a series entitled "The Larger Agenda Series". It's out of print, and Amazon's never heard of it, so no link for you.

Back in 1990, I was starting college, and I read the academia-critical works of Charles J. Sykes (ProfScam and The Hollow Men). So I served my tour in the Curriculum Wars, participating as appropriate, so I'm familiar with the book's message and the time period in which Atlas wrote it.

The Sykes books are definitely partisan in tone, written to inflame the passions and mobilize the troops. This book, on the other hand, makes the reasons for the other side clear. Atlas wrote this book somewhat as a response to Allan Bloom's Closing of the American Mind, which details the fall of the Great Books Curriculum. I haven't read the primary text, so I cannot comment on it.

In this book, though, Atlas explores the reasons that some of the new hippie English Department personnel (sorry, I mean resources) want to overturn the canon. Essentially, they want to introduce new ways of relating to literature, including literature from underexplored cultures. Some want new veins of ore from which they can mine publish-or-perish papers. Some want to stick it to The Man. Whatever the reasons, Atlas characterizes them more as misguided than evil. Which differs from Sykes.

Atlas defends the canon, but only slightly. He remembers a time when Joe Suburban bought Everyman's Library editions (or Colliers Classics) of the canon and read them. Some people might not have understood them, nor picked up all the subtlety that professional interpreters would, but they realized that reading the books could better you.

I attained an epiphany while reading this book. The Curriculum Wars really are meaningless. The Old Booksters and the New Diverse Canoneers fight over the hearts and minds of kids who just don't care. Those who want to read and better themselves will do so. Case in point: me. I read for pleasure and to keep my numble mind occupied. I survived an English Degree no worse for wear.

The real problem is that people just don't do that anymore. Perhaps both sides have made the books inaccessible through constant obfuscation for publication, or perhaps... well, this book obviously doesn't speculate on that.

Regardless, the book's short--under 100 pages less ads--and it inspired me to redouble my efforts to read those great books and small remaining on my shelf. Sykes' books incited me, but this one inspired me.
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:38 PM   0 comments

 
For Future Reference

TV Shows on DVD lists television series available for purchase on DVD.
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:23 PM   0 comments

 
Book Review: Rumpelstiltskin by Ed McBain (1981)

Rumpelstiltskin is the first Ed McBain book I didn't like. Not Evan Hunter books--heaven knows the distaste I have for Last Summer--but the first Ed McBain book. I've read quite a few.

It's an early Matthew Hope novel. I don't like the series as much as the 87th Precinct series, to be honest, and I get all of the Florida color I need from Travis McGee novels. But it's not the series that does it for me.

The plot of the book's okay. A former pop sensation (whoops, rock since it was in the 1960s) is going to make a comeback at a small bar. She opens to bad reviews, and then gets killed. Matthew Hope, who spent the hours before her demise having curtain-climbing good sex with her, is briefly a suspect. The deceased had a trust fund due to pay out in a matter of days, so her father and her ex-husband make good suspects, with each standing to benefit depending upon the fate of the dead woman's daughter, kidnapped at the time of the murder, don't you know?

No, the plot's all right, it's the execution thereof that lacks. The book is paced poorly, and there's no pressure on Hope. He's a suspect, but he's cleared quickly. So he's got lots of time to meet new people, have a little wall-scarring good sex with another attorney, and jet to New Orleans for....well, his daughter's around, so no sex, but just foreplay to the blossoming intrattorney relationship.

Meanwhile, the author fits in his characteristic asides, but they're rather clumsy. There's a three page treatise about how a woman can have red hair and blonde pubic hair, including the relationship of melanin levels and genetics in the occurrence as well as the difficulty experienced by a woman in the 1960s and 1970s growing up with it and how it impacts her psychological and sexual development. Wow, that's quite a bit of research, Mr. McBain. Thanks for sharing your report with the class. Fortunately, the three pages end with some lamp-crashing, nightstand-tipping good sex.

It's a short novel, clocking in at about 215 pages. I slogged through it. If you're a big fan, you will, too, but I don't recommend it for someone looking for a good, light read.
- posted by Brian J. @ 3:14 PM   0 comments

 
Where There's No Law but a Prosecutor's Will, There's a Way

When a "sexual predator" escaped a Missouri Sexually Violent Predator Unit, he didn't break a law. According to a story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

It's a crime in Missouri to escape from a jail or prison, and it's a crime to escape from a mental health facility if the escapee was sent there in a criminal process, such as found not guilty but insane.

But the state of Missouri, in its hurry to follow other states' lead into indefinitely extending the finished sentences of certain classes of offenders, managed to create a means of continued incarceration for violent sexual predators, but didn't make leaving those means of continued, un-sentenced incarceration periods against the law.

Never fear, though. Prosecutors have a myriad of laws available for any occasion.

In fact, the interview is somewhat limited that he could give the Post-Dispatch because:

He said talking about that now could hurt his chances with his current criminal case, a charge of felony property damage for cutting the fence.

What? He must not have dropped the portion of the fence he cut away in his escape or else he would also face a charge of felony littering.

Meanwhile, after releasing himself from indefinite incarceration and a probable unsentenced life term, this guy goes to Florida, gets married, and apparently doesn't commit another sex crime, or any crime for that matter:

Neither Florida authorities nor investigators here have been able to link Ingrassia to any new sex crimes.

Instead, he's gone south, gotten a job, and gotten married. Granted, it was his wife who got suspicious of his past and led to his return to Missouri. Hey, I'm not some multiple-degreed, highly-paid state consultant, but that sounds almost reformed to me.

But he's cheesed off some officials who feel that their power derives from the respect they feel should be paid to them, so they're going to get him. Instead of a warehouse for undesirables, they'll throw him back in prison, and when his sentence for vandalism is over, they'll return him to his indefinite warehouse.

Don't worry, citizen. It hasn't happened to you. Yet.
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:22 PM   0 comments

 
One More Reason to Move to Colorado

Not only does it offer a taxpayer "bill of rights," but it might also implement controls on eminent domain.

Boulder and Denver and all of that property-rights-infringing, cougar-loving nutbarism doesn't cover the whole state, wot? In some places, Jeremiah Johnson could live with his guns and his fit wife, right?

Sounds as good as Texas to me.
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:10 PM   0 comments

 
What I Might Say Were I Thoughtful

Jared at Exultate Justi explains why the Left and the Right don't get along anymore.

I might have said something like this were I yet a reasoning, thoughtful writer.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:51 PM   0 comments

 
Fitness Proves Unhealthy

New York Post headline: "MAN CLUBS WIFE TO DEATH WITH DUMBBELL"

Apparently, a man beat his estranged wife to death with a five pound dumbbell.

A five pound dumbell? We've got dumbbells six times as deadly here in la casa de Heather, but I didn't want to call the perp nor the victim a wuss. Instead, I wanted to point out the New York angle. The husband tried to kill himself after the murder, and failed.

Did his neighbors characterize him as a quiet man, the last sort of fellow who would do this sort of thing? Not in New York:

"He tried to kill himself, but he didn't try hard enough," said neighbor Ralph Watson. "He was a punk son of a gun for hitting her in the head like that, and if he really wanted to kill himself, he should have jumped in front of a train."

- posted by Brian J. @ 9:36 PM   0 comments

 
Who Needs Seven?

MSN's Dating and Personals site has a story entitled "7 ways to keep him interested".

Your womenly-affectation advisors are coming up with lists of seven ways to keep us interested? You could narrow it down to one, baby, in most cases.

And if you feel the need to go for extra credit, freshly-baked pastries for number two.
- posted by Brian J. @ 5:04 PM   0 comments

 
Damn Esquire Fact Checkers

El Guapo, I thought you said the fact checkers called you. So when Esquire prominantly features you, as well it should, in the February 2004 issue, why does it say you're from Mizzou?

For crying out loud, brother, you may live in St. Louis, but you're from somewhere else entirely and you have no relationship with the University of Missouri, commonly referred to those of us here in the Midwest as Mizzou. I guess to the coastal types, Mizzou, Missouri, Nebraska, all the same. Midwest. Nobody in the Midwest reads Esquire since they have Grit.
- posted by Brian J. @ 2:25 PM   0 comments

 
Steinberg on Mars

Neil Steinberg, of the Chicago Sun-Times, on Mars:

Myself, I'd ask, "How come nobody applies the same logic to Kennedy? Nobody says, 'Oh sure, Kennedy committed us to go to the moon and then he up and died and left the hard work to others.'''

He also manages to spank NPR, too. Read it. You will like it.
- posted by Brian J. @ 11:23 PM   0 comments

 
A Turning Point

Spoons links to this column by Radley "The Agitator" Balko. It's about the deficit and the mighty vote-pandering going on, wherein our current politicians pass out entitlements like Tic Tacs to woo aging voters. As a member of the Libertarian wing of the Republican party, or perhaps the sane fringe of the Libertarian Party, I agreed with the sentiment until I hit this point, buried in the lead of Balko's column:

A few of us had our taxes cut, but that hardly matters when government keeps spending the way it is. Sooner or later, the waiter will come by with the check, and it?s those of us under 30 who will be reaching for our wallets.

Under 30? You mean, I, being of the distinguished and learned age of 31 and 10.75/12, won't be on the hook?

Heck's pecs, politicos, pander to me, too. I want guaranteed Federally-subsidized Guinness, and a pizza a week, and could do with a couple of new t-shirts. What, do you want the poor elderly IT professionals to freeze? You heartless kids are ungrateful for all that Generation X has given you.

Don't trust anyone over 30.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:23 PM   0 comments

 
The Truth--Revealed!

Pejman Yousefzadeh is a damn kid!

According to the mathematicians I consulted (as people with English and Philosophy degrees cannot be troubled with mere counting), he says Moxie is 32, and Pejman will be reaching that hallowed age in five months. Since I'm reaching it in a month and a handful of sand grains, that means I'm older than he is.

So now matter how much smarter than I am he sounds, he should respect his elders. Damn kids and their online "diaries."
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:51 PM   0 comments

 
Shine Up The Land Seizure Jackboots

I saw this story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and was smitten with the title. New Urbanism! In St. Louis!

Except it's in St. Louis County, which doesn't have much of the old urbanism really. And then I realized the location in mind: Hanley Industrial Court. I work on the edges of Hanley Industrial Court. New Urbanist, this area ain't.

Across Hanley, Richmond Heights just eminent domained a pile of houses to build a Walmartplex, and the area features three drive-to shopping complexes (four, if you count the new Meridian). Acres of parking lots is not New Urbanism. And wait a minute... in Hanley Industrial Court, there are....industries.....

Wait a minute:

There, the $48 million, 8-acre Hanley Station is being planned by MLP Investments, a Frontenac-based developer. MLP envisions a neighborhood where condo dwellers walk to upscale restaurants and stores, and eventually, take the MetroLink to the St. Louis Galleria or Forest Park. A proposed light-rail station would be integrated into the town center-style community.

It will come to pass, I bet, when Brentwood seizes condemns through eminent domain the majority of the industrial court. It's blighted, don't you know.

And if it's not now, it will be. I've walked through the industrial court and have seen buildings for sale or rent back there. Now that the developments are being planned, who's going to waste money buying a building that's going to be seized? Who's going to take out a lease, not knowing when it will be ab-ended by the municipality? Suddenly, those vacancies, which would have been filled by the business cycle and the marketplace, stand empty. A blight, I tell you!

Maybe I am making a mountain out of a piedmont here, but I know that the Animal Protective Association, where we get all of our quality recycled animals, just renovated, and Centene just did some work to make a mail distribution/child care center in the industrial court. I'd hate for them to lose it. Also, since my employer's currently occupying a building at the edge of one of the megastripmallplexes, I'd hate for them to move anywhere that's not closer to me.

Bear this in mind, you foolish local governments, when you realize all the industrial jobs are disappearing from your area. Why is that?

Because you wanted the sales tax from the discount store/electronic store/strip mall instead!

New Urbanism my johnk.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:59 PM   0 comments

 
I Prefer "Laid Back"

Your Character’s Alignment

Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral.

Neutral

A neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. She doesn’t feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most neutrality is a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil. After all, she would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, she’s not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. The common phrase for neutral is "true neutral." Neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion.

It's TSR's Wizards of the Coasts'Online Alignment Test, you geeks.

To be honest, I was hoping for Chaotic Good, but oh, well. I don't care that much one way or the other.

(Link seen on Fark.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:07 PM   0 comments

 
Bumper

Java Developer

Design servlets to deploy every day.
If we hit the Web server, would it play?
XML with an exception,
XML it doesn't know
How to SOAP the right connection.
You wrote that code.
You wrote that code.

Java Java Java Java Java developer
You wrote that code.
You wrote that code.
Testing would be easy if your app worked like a dream,
Type, click and save,
Type, click and save.

Didn't check your method calls every day
And all of them used to work, or so you say.
But your app is like spaghetti,
It's the knots that makes it strong.
Once it's kludged, it's kludged forever,
It breaks anon.
It breaks anon.

The Event OnClick doesn't fire.
Get the gum and the baling wire.
The Event OnClick doesn't fire.
Get the gum and the baling wire.

XML with an exception,
XML it doesn't know
How to SOAP the right connection.
You wrote that code.
You wrote that code.

(Apologies to Culture Club.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:09 PM   0 comments

 
Engineer on the Gravitas Train

Let me be the first to ask:

Don't you feel the Democrat contenders for nomination lack gravitas?

It was so damn important four years ago.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:02 PM   0 comments

 
No Probable Cause? No Problem!

The Supreme Court has said that the police can stop your car and give you a flier, and then arrest or ticket you for whatever they uncover:

llinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan said the Supreme Court's ruling "will allow law enforcement in Illinois and across the nation to seek voluntary assistance from citizens in their efforts to solve crime."

Roadblock = Voluntary assistance

Once you embrace that, citizen, you will be happy.

The case stemmed from someone who was busted for DUI while stopping for one of these roadblocks for an unrelated crime committed a week earlier:

The constitutionality of the informational roadblocks was challenged by Robert Lidster, accused of drunken driving at a 1997 checkpoint set up to get tips about an unrelated fatal hit-and-run accident. The roadblock was at the same spot and time of night that the hit-and-run took place about a week earlier.

Authorities in Lombard, Ill., got no helpful tips that night in the death of a 70-year-old bicyclist, but they arrested Lidster after police said he nearly hit an officer with his minivan.

Law enforcement loves roadblocks. And they're not just for dangerous criminals anymore! They're for illegal immigrants, drunken driving scans, and for passing out literature. Did the roadblock work? No.

Lidster argued that police could have used other methods to get information about the hit-and-run driver, like billboards or stories in newspapers and on radio and television stations. Television coverage of the roadblock did lead to information that helped solve the case.

So the police handing out literature, nor stopping drivers in the middle of the night to answer a few questions, helped them in the case for which they set up the roadblocks. But those roadblocks did, however, come in handy for at least one unrelated crime. That's the point.

This, like so many other handy law enforcement practices and new laws, is all about bringing you, the potentially guilty citizen, in contact with police where they have a pretense to look for probable cause. Now, police can pull you over for driving without a seatbelt, or if it looks like you don't have a seatbelt on, or for driving in the left lane for longer than they want. And once you're on the side of the road, then the fun begins. Where are you going? What's in the bag? Can we take a look in your trunk?
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:59 PM   0 comments

 
Gun Bans Aren't Enough

Let's see. New York's banned guns. They've tried to ban toy guns. And it's still not enough to stop criminals:

Dan Looney, a chief prosecutor with Nassau County, said that each time Trantel pulled off a heist, he handed the tellers a note saying he had a gun.

"He produced a robbery demand note detailing the threat of using a firearm and thereby placing the tellers in fear of injury from the use of the weapon," Looney said.

Authorities do not know "whether, in fact, he had a loaded gun," and no weapon was recovered, Looney said. The prosecutor declined to comment on a motive in the case.

Criminals are committing crimes and frightening innocent people with just the word gun. Therefore, in the interest of public safety, we should strike it from our language and make it a felony to use or write the word gun.

Of course, since criminals can convey the meaning with synonyms, such as pistol, rifle, niner, firearm, and so on, so of course, they'll have to go, too.

And since they can, at least some of them can, convey the proper image through metaphors, such as hand-held volcano that erupts leaden lava, we'll have to banish the entire concept of personal projectile weapons. Maybe taking it back to slingshots and atl-atls is a little much, but it's for The Children somehow, so we must!

Report to public reeducation camps immediately.
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:31 PM   0 comments

 
Public Health Announcement

As someone from CDC.gov searched this blog yesterday for site:blogspot.com "colleen shannon" (and hit the cache, too), I can only assume that Colleen Shannon, the fiftieth anniversary Playboy playmate, is at the heart of a national health epidemic.

As a public service, I shall issue the first warning:

Caution:
Colleen Shannon is suspected of causing blindness in young men.

Thank you, that is all.
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:11 PM   0 comments

 
This Cannot Stand

So the Recording Industry Association of America is dressing up like law enforcement officials and conducting raids. This, my friends, cannot stand.

Though no guns were brandished, the bust from a distance looked like classic LAPD, DEA or FBI work, right down to the black "raid" vests the unit members wore. The fact that their yellow stenciled lettering read "RIAA" instead of something from an official law-enforcement agency was lost on 55-year-old parking-lot attendant Ceasar Borrayo.

The Recording Industry Association of America is taking it to the streets.

. . .

"They said they were police from the recording industry or something, and next time they’d take me away in handcuffs," he said through an interpreter. Borrayo says he has no way of knowing if the records, with titles like Como Te Extraño Vol. IV — Musica de los 70’s y 80’s, are illegal, but he thought better of arguing the point.

The RIAA acknowledges it all — except the notion that its staff presents itself as police. Yes, they may all be ex-P.D. Yes, they wear cop-style clothes and carry official-looking IDs. But if they leave people like Borrayo with the impression that they’re actual law enforcement, that’s a mistake.

Oh, ramsexcrement. The RIAA is playing cops, although it's using real ex-cops to do so. Win/win. Ex-cops get to pretend like they still have some sort of power--and don't you believe for a moment they lack an attitude--and the RIAA gets to harrass citizens.

Meanwhile, our country steps slightly toward that dystopian future where corporations have their own cops out there enforcing the laws and shooting them up with bad guys. These guys with RIAA stitched onto their backs aren't ED-209, but if this travesty is left unchecked, soon the Business Software Alliance, the Mystery Writers of America, and every other person whose copyright might be infringed will be fielding their own set of jackbooted thugs to menace and harrass society. So who loses?

• The citizens, of course, because its our right to be freed from persecution, and let's face it, the RIAA's persecuting and not prosecuting when its minions "raid".
  
  
• True law enforcement loses because the weight of its actions are diluted by the other thugz and playaz conducting their own raids. If a citizen's got a bunch of surly looking men with dark vests bearing an acronym ending in A standing on his property and acting menacing, he's got to wonder if they're surly looking men with dark vests bearing an acronym ending in A who are illegal trespassers whom he can shoot or if they're surly looking men with dark vests bearing an acronym ending in A bearing legal warrants. Does law enforcement win whenever it puts someone who guesses wrong into the ground? Hardly.

It's encouraging to see that the law might not take too lightly anyone antitrusting its monopoly on power:

But if an anti-piracy team crossed the line between looking like cops and implying or telling vendors that they are cops, the Los Angeles Police Department would take a pretty dim view, said LAPD spokesman Jason Lee.

I hope we see it loudly and soon. The RIAA, with all its subpoenas and lawsuits and whatnot has crossed the final line by adding physical intimidation and blatant deception to its playlist.

(Link seen on /. or Techdirt or both.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:25 PM   0 comments

 
Book Review: Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

Sometimes it strikes me how readable the classics are. I've always found the works of Hemingway exceedingly accessible. Of course, I find the works of William Shakespeare and Ben Johnson accessible, and often funny. Regardless, I've recently been on a Steinbeck kick since I picked up a matching set of some of his books in nice Collier hardback editions (although I must include the obligatory Amazon link to a paperback edition). I've read Cup of Gold and The Winter of Our Discontent and enjoyed both. So when I was looking for a more classical turn from the sci-fi on my shelves, I went back to this collection of Steinbeck novels (for which I paid $1 each at an estate sale--good deal at those estate sales). And I selected Of Mice and Men.

I'd never read it before. I realize many of you read it in high school, but somehow I dodged it in high school and in my numerous college classes. Yeah, I got an English degree, but before you use this single anecdote to thrash English programs and modern education today, remember I chose to read this of my own accord at 31. On the other hand, such enlightenment probably is a statistically insignificant minority of college graduates, so feel free to thrash academia anyway. I do.

So, about the accessibility of this book. It's written in modern English, even modern American, so it requires no footnoting. And unlike modern "classics," old time classics, part of the canon disparaged by peers of mine in English programs who never evolved beyond English majors--that is, they never grew up and got jobs outside of the English department--some of these books dealt with weightier matters than nihilistic couplings of college professors or the emotional melodramas favored by Oprah. No, life and death were on the line.

The edition I have clocks in at 186 pages, but the margins are wider than the term paper from a twelfth-grade wrestling stand-out, so it's a quick read. Not Old Man and the Sea quick, but I went through it in a couple days. Another good selection if you want to impress your book club with your classical educational leanings but don't want to spend a lot of time on it.

Of Mice and Men tells of two traveling farm workers, Lennie and George, who find work at a ranch after getting in some trouble in Weed and leaving in a hurry. They're working to earn enough to buy their own land, but of course they encounter obstacles, or mainly an obstacle, and then there's a surprising ending where George has to defuse a nuclear bomb while Lennie holds off a number of Columbian revolutionaries with a half-full revolver and a bottle of whiskey....

Well, not really. It's not that bang-and-flash, but the book delves into the nature of friendship and man's obligations to right and wrong better than most blockbuster thrillers or buddy cop movies do. Plus, it makes you sound smart to allude to a John Steinbeck novel, which is why I do so frequently. Maybe it won't make you sound smart. Maybe it only makes me sound like I've read only one Steinbeck novel, once, in high school. But I am a slightly better person for it and I'm not angry at the writer for wasting my time. Does that count as a rousing endorsement? You bet.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:56 PM   0 comments

 
Fair as Ballast

What liberal media? The Associated Press, as reprinted in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch works both pro and anti-war viewpoints into this headline/subheadline combo:

Shells reportedly carrying blister agent are uncovered in Iraq
Six die when Iraqi policemen, British clash with demonstrators

I envy the news service's flexibility. Cannot find an anti-war sentiment in a single incident? No problem! Just mash two completely separate instances together so you can create the proper "balanced" story. Yo ga, girl!
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:32 PM   0 comments

 
Look at All The Pretty Dots!

On the front page of today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch, marginalized by the two columns of Rams' agony, we have a hard-hitting story entitled "Pipeline for antibiotics is running dry". Lead:

Major pharmaceutical companies have abandoned or scaled back research and development of drugs that kill bacteria in favor of anti-viral drugs, such as those to combat HIV, and medicines for chronic conditions, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

Journalists see a lot of dots in the industry, from the drug reimportation ideas to the lawsuits to force legalized patent infringement for the generic drug producers to the lack of new drugs in development. All are Bad Things for the Proletariat, which undoubtedly the continued Marxist evolution state can better handle, but the journalists don't have the time, foresight, patience, or perhaps open minds to realize that the first two lead to the latter, and to ensure that pharmaceutical companies can occasionally profit from the great financial risks they undertake would ensure a steady stream of new, innovative drugs.

Oops, I said profit with an F instead of a PH, didn't I? Well, that's not to be allowed. Perhaps the State could better run innovation with the same élan demonstrated by the nationalized shipping and passenger transportation companies.
- posted by Brian J. @ 1:27 PM   0 comments

 
John Cole Makes The Medium Time

Perusing the paper this afternoon, I discovered the page 1 story in the Everyday section entitled Web Surfing the Presidential Pool", and I skim it, finding in the section on Dennis Kucinich, a URL for a permalink from John Cole at Balloon Juice, featured proudly on the MfBJ blogroll.

Congrats, John. You're in the medium time when the St. Louis Post-Dispatch notices you.
- posted by Brian J. @ 4:11 PM   0 comments

 
Yahoo!

MfBJ: Your #3 source on the Internet for pictures of gruesome jail inmate kills.

That's on the $9.95 a month password-protected site. Order now!
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:34 AM   0 comments

 
A Rock in My Reeboks

Local or state politicians often like to make an argument like this one regarding getting "their slice of the pie":

Officials in Killington want the town to secede from Vermont and join the neighboring state because of a dispute over taxes. They say the town's restaurants, inns and other businesses rake in ten (m) million dollars a year for the state -- but gets just a (m) million dollars of state aid in return.

You often hear that, whether it's California griping about not getting one dollar of federal tax grants and goodies for every dollar they ship to Washington or little towns like this one griping about its high tax revenues not returning one for one. Are these politicos stupid, or cynically trying to drum up votes with this idiocy?

In case it's the former, I offer the following explanation to our municipal or state leaders:

I told you a hunnert times, Lennie, when the bigger brother takes that money, it takes its taste, its viggorish from the top, and whatever he's got left after paying off his string of highly-paid thinkers, legislators, and hangers-on and then pays down what he owns on all dem buildings and motorcars they go tooling around in, whatever he's got left he splits among his friends and then littler big brother. Den he can put it towards a stake in a ranch, or he can blow it in a cathouse or pool room or on whiskey, or maybe all three which is a popular choice for govenment.

I suspect they're just cynical, though, in which case I offer them a hearty Hi-ho, STFU. I know you're all about shifting wealth from the private sector, where it was created, to the public sector, where you and your cronies can spend it lavishly, but it's a real rock in my Reeboks to watch you public sector ticks argue about who gets to suck from the neck and who has to suck from the leg artery. I don't turn on the nature channel to watch the jackals rip apart gazelles, and I don't care to watch you guys fight over the spoils, either.

So get over the fact that Mississippi and Wyoming aren't going to subsidize your schools, and maybe, you know, stop spending money profligately and maybe you could squeak by on whatever annual millions you can skim from the top while the citizenry makes do with green-capped milk.

(Link seen on Drudge.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:30 AM   0 comments

 
Columnist Argues for a Classless Society

Bill Hobbs links to a column in the Philadelphia Daily News wherein the columnist executes a number of cheap shots on Brett Favre.

Sounds like Brett Favre's a man to me. I'd like to see what sort of erroneous, idealized self-image the columnist has of himself to see how he reconciles his own perfection with the ability to make snarky comments about another man's recently-deceased father.

Spoken like a man who has not yet lost his father.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:24 AM   0 comments

 
Why Do East Coasters Equate St. Louis With Bowling?

Lord, love a duck. Seems that some Charlotte newspaper writer has written a piece denigrating (uh oh, insensitive word) the St. Louis football fans' enthusiasm. Seems amid his trash talk, he's got to fixate on the Bowling Hall of Fame. Here's his lead, that is, his first couple paragraphs:

Just a few blocks from the home of the St. Louis Rams, the city celebrates its sporting heroes -- legends such as Dick Weber, Mark Roth and Earl Anthony.

Well, OK, if you're a football fan you might not recognize those names. That's because they're not football players.

They're bowlers.

Here you can spend hours (really!) at the International Bowling Museum and Hall of Fame. It shares a building with a museum honoring the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team.

What is it with you East Coast types? You come to St. Louis and think bowling's what the people here obsess with. Listen up, Tommy Tomlinson and all you vapid eastern coasters who come to this town and want to snark it with the full weight of your Coastal Cosmpolitanism, St. Louisians are not bowlers by nature.

Milwaukee has more bowling alleys per capita than any other city in the world, ainna?

Oh, and if you're a Rams fan, you can read his column at the Charlotte Observer site (registration required), or you can see where the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has reprinted it.

Tomlinson doesn't waste the opportunity to mock St. Louis for its unhistoried Rams team. How cute. From the fan of a ten-year-old football team.
- posted by Brian J. @ 11:25 PM   0 comments

 
Those From Wisconsin Just Don't Understand

Speaking of sports fandom as a hobby, even those from the vaunted Charlotte area cannot understand true passion.

I have a niece named Starr. Two Rs. Not misspelled.
- posted by Brian J. @ 11:10 PM   0 comments

 
Book Review: Naked Beneath My Clothes by Rita Rudner (1992)

I paid $3.95 for this book at Downtown Books in Milwaukee, and it's worth every penny. Of course, I bought it used, scavenging upon an already-paid royalty as far as the author's concerned, and I'm sorry, Ms. Rudner. However, rest assured, upon the weight of this book, I have added some of your other, more readily-available material to my Amazon wish list so my ungrateful readers can browse it if they want but not buy anything.

For those of you damn kids out there who don't know Rita Rudner is, she's a very funny comedienne from back in the old days of cablized standup, which is to say the late 1980s. Ah, the old days. When Richard Jeni, Rita Rudner, Dennis Wolfowitz, and their kind first started getting HBO specials and when Rosie O'Donnell was a an obscure unfunny stand-up comic who MCed VH-1s stand-up spotlight, and nobody knew who she was. The good old days. This book was written probably at Rita Rudner's zenith, back in the administration of the first Bush presidency, before the Internet bubble, and before blogs. Remember those days?

I digress, of course. This book collects some of Ms. Rudner's comedic musings. She's witty with the pen as well as the microphone, and she turns some nifty phrases. She's no P.J. O'Rourke or Dennis Miller, but she's far above say, Andy Rooney (several of whose books I purchased in the same little humor alcove of Downtown Books as I bought this volume). Rudner's 45 chapters (brief, in 162 pages) capture some of the truisms of life and relationships, and they're quite funny. I read this particular bit to my esteemed spouse because it accurately captures the tension between a husband and wife when it comes to clothes shopping:

We always have the same argument. I choose clothes that make me look like a nun (see essay number 19), and my husband chooses clothes that make me look like a hooker. We compromise, and that's why on television I usually look like a flamboyant nun.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with shopping for casual, lounging-around-the-house comfortable clothes from Frederick's of Hollywood, is there?

Based upon the weight of that and the first chapter which she sneaked a read of while it sat beside the computer awaiting review, Heather will snatch this book from my read shelves and will read it herself. So if you don't believe me, believe her, or you will anger Heather and she will crush you.
- posted by Brian J. @ 10:12 PM   0 comments

 
Quick Observation

Is it just me, or do a lot of the Democrat presidential nominees all have first names for last names?

There's Howard Dean, Wesley Clark, John Kerry, Jonathan Edwards....

I am not sure what this means, but our crack staff of paranoid neurotics (not the paranoid schizophrenics, who make things up) here at MfBJN are working on it as we speak.

The prevalent working hypothesis: It will be easier for candidates to completely reinvent themselves in 2008 if each has a completely new name, such as Dean Howard, Clark Wesley, or Clinton Hillary.

We the People will have completely forgotten about that other schmuck losers whose ideas and policies were completely out of touch with the direction in which we want the country to go by then.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:34 PM   0 comments

 
A Quiet Evening At Home

My esteemed spouse has joined NetFlix, and she received a disc in the mail the other day. Maid in Manhattan. "A chick flick," she called it.

With Jennifer Lopez in a maid uniform, honey, it's got something for the whole family, don't you worry.

So we watched that tonight. I'm trying to convince Heather we don't have to send it back right away.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:20 PM   0 comments

 
Lazy Fare

SFGate.com has a story featuring Carly Fiorina, head of Hewlett-Packard-Compaq-Digital, telling the information technology professionals who are watching their profession awaken after the party that was the Internet boom and stagger into the developing world for a quick bit of relief from burgeoning labor costs. Fiorina says:

"There is no job that is America's God-given right anymore."

Right on, sister. Capitalism keeps our prices down as consumers, so as long as we continue to adapt as producers, we can continue buying stuff and make the whole world go around. I'm all for that, because I realize once all the jobs are overseas, the board of directors will realize CEOs will be cheaper over there, too. No, no, they tell themselves, it won't happen to us.... just like the myopic IT career counselors told their charges in the 1990s.

But that's the way business works, and society and government ought to let the businesses do their thing. I'm with you, Carly. Of course, I wouldn't invest money in that sinking ship you're piloting towards the crumbling glacier, but I'm with you.

Well, no, I'm not. Because the solutions she proposes are not laissez-faire capitalism solutions:

They outlined a list of objectives, including a doubling of federal spending on basic research in U.S. universities. Barrett derided Washington's decision to spend as much as $40 billion a year on farm subsidies and just $5 billion on basic research in the physical sciences.

"I have a real degree of difficulty with the fact that we are spending some five to eight times as much on the industry of the 19th century than we are on the industry of the 21st century," Barrett said.

The executives also urged a national broadband policy to allow more homes and businesses to quickly take advantage of high-speed data networks, much as Japan and Korea have done.

They also called for dramatic improvements in K-12 education in the United States, saying schools act more to block budding math and science students than to foster them.

Federal government should start throwing money to the technical industry the same way it throws money to all industry. Fiorina and her buddies don't want laissez-faire capitalism. They want crony capitalism and are auditioning for the roles of "cronies."
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:05 PM   0 comments

 
And In An Alternate Universe....

When ESPN's Jim Kelley would report:

1. The kids are all right
We tip our proverbial hat to the work of veterans like Mats Sundin in Toronto, Robert Lang in Washington, Joe Sakic in Colorado, Markus Naslund in Vancouver and Brett Hull in St. Louis.

Danny Flor, an esteemed former co-worker, would smile and thank his lucky stars that the Blues took all necessary steps to ensure the Golden Brett finished his career here.
- posted by Brian J. @ 4:44 PM   0 comments

 
A Homie Too Harsh?

Owen over at Boots and Sabers links to a Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel story about a 71-year-old, wheelchair-bound hit and run victim in my old neighborhood in Milwaukee. Here's Owen's post on Boots and Sabers:

There are some cold, cold people in this world.


Police searched Tuesday for the driver of a white, late-model Oldsmobile that struck and killed a 71-year-old man in a wheelchair in the 9100 block of W. Appleton Ave.

The victim, Ernest McNair, was wheeling down Appleton Ave. about 7:40 p.m. Monday when he ws hit by the westbound car, police said. He died early Tuesday morning at Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hosptial.

I sure hope this dirt bag dies a long, painful, and lingering death. I think that may be too good for him (or her). Bastard.

Owen's being a little harsh on the "dirt bag." Here's more details from the Journal-Sentinel:

McNair was a resident of the Marian Franciscan Center, 9632 W. Appleton Ave. He frequently signed himself out of the nursing home against doctor's orders and did so sometime Monday afternoon, according to information gathered by the Milwaukee County Medical Examiner's Office.

A friend of McNair's told an investigator he came by his apartment Monday looking for money to do some drinking, but left when the friend told him he didn't have any cash.

The circumstances of the accident were sketchy Tuesday, while police asked for any witnesses to contact them.

I don't know about McNair, but I do know that some wheelchair-bound residents of Missouri travel in the road on occasion. So McNair's out, possibly wheelchairing drunk in the street in the dark and he gets hit. The driver runs. Tragic, but not pure evil. The "dirt bag" might be a kid, might be a scared housewife, but the absolute condemnation is wasted, particularly if the circumstances are sketchy.

Full disclosure: The first novel I started in college, entitled Tragedies, dealt with the hit and run accident of a housewife at the corner of Villiard and Appleton in Milwaukee, which is the 9000 block of Appleton. The corner between the Westside Liquor store and what used to be a Sentry foods. The assailants were a couple of scared kids. The tragedies, of course, referred to the fact that all the lives were destroyed. So that's the perspective from whence my bleeding heart liberalism potential for perspective springs.

Of course, running from the accident is wrong, but on the scale of evil, accidentally hitting a hard-to-see object in the dark is substantially less than shouting, "Crippled old man, one point!" and swerving into McNair.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:56 PM   0 comments

 
It's Cold Out There, Prosecutors; Don't Forget To Layer Up

More from prosecutorial "layering" of charges indicated in a St Louis Post-Dispatch Law and Order round-up:

Two men are indicted in construction scams

Two men have been indicted on charges that they bilked people through home construction scams, the U.S. attorney's office in St. Louis said Tuesday.

One of the men, Jeffrey Thomas, is accused of selling the same property in St. Louis County to three buyers. He collected more than $500,000 on the sales, and did nothing to build on the property, according to the federal indictment.

Thomas, 36, of the 300 block of Autumn Creek Drive in Valley Park, is charged with mail fraud, wire fraud and money laundering.

The other defendant, Carlton Dinwiddie, 39, of East St. Louis, is charged with mail fraud and misuse of a Social Security number.

Perhaps I should write to my state legislator, Al Liese (who replaced his own term-limited son in the state legislature by posting signs that looked just like the incumbent legislator's--ELECT LIESE--perfectly gaming the gullible voters), to enact laws against fraud committed for monetary gain, Crimes committed during commission of fraud, Fraud committed during course of a crime, English-language fraud, and Sound-wave fraud.

Double-jeopardy? Hah! We spit upon your double-jeopardy! Prosecutors need flexible and innovative tools to deal with their burgeoning political careers and their appearances as depicted by the media modern con artists.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:10 PM   0 comments

 
Teaching An Old Joke New Tricks

A baby boomer father and son, walking in the forest, come upon a grizzly bear. The father immediately opens a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and begins stuffing glazed doughnuts down his craw.

"What are you doing?" the son said. "You can't earn enough to pay taxes to offset the increased entitlements that politicians are enacting to buy your vote."

"I don't have to earn enough," the father said. "I only have to have a coronary before the bear that metaphorically represents the impending fiscal collapse catches us."

If that's not the zaniest link to a Robert Samuelson column ever, I don't know what is.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:01 PM   0 comments

 
Troubleshooting Blogger

I realize I am but a knuckle-dragging software tester, so take pity on me, oh soon-to-be-IPOed development staff at Pyra Labs Google, but I think I know what's wrong with your permalinking here on my site.

The <$BlogItemArchiveFileName$> server-side variable is not currently including the name of my archive directory, strangely enough entitled /archives/, into the path; ergo, when a user clicks this permalink, it leads them to the archive filename and post number in my root directory, but the archive file is not in that directory. It's in /archives/.

Please translate this into Hindi and have Uncle Ray's friends fix the problem.

Also, if one of my dear readers wants to link directly to my post, please add the archives directory to the URL by hand. For example, if you right-click the permalink link at the bottom of the post and select "Properties," you'll see this URL currently:

http://stlbrianj.blogspot.com/2004_01_04_archive.html#107352521550898577

If you add the /archives/ directory to the URL, like so:

http://stlbrianj.blogspot.com/archives/2004_01_04_archive.html#107352521550898577

It will work.

Undoubtedly, status.blogger.com will acknowledge this problem once they have it solved. In a couple of weeks.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:26 PM   0 comments

 
Are You Listening, Ehrenreich?

Donald Sensing's eyes have opened to some of the depravity and hardship suffered by the American poor. The real question is, "Is Barbara Ehrenreich listening?"

Probably not; she's probably enjoying an indiscretion that will keep her from getting any job that requires a drug test.

However, I have a hot tip for her next book:

Half the families in the country earn less than the average household income!

Quick, redistribute the wealth until we're all above average! Vote for Dean Howard!
- posted by Brian J. @ 6:51 PM   0 comments

 
Busted!

Notice this page on my "innocent" wife's blog: cat_recipes.html.

Maybe I should take back what I said about her conmingling cat care books and cookbooks.
- posted by Brian J. @ 9:06 PM   0 comments

 
Thank Goodness Software "Engineers" Aren't Civil Engineers

Otherwise, we would see this in the defect tracker:

Defect # 102033
Title:	Striking bridge support at speed greater than 60 mph causes bridge to collapse
Severity:	Critical
Problem:	If a driver strikes a support beneath the overpass while exceeding approximately 60 miles per hour, the support will buckle and the entire span and bridge will collapse, killing the driver of the car that struck the support, the passengers, and any people passing over the bridge when the support is struck. To recreate: 1. Drive northbound in car at 62 mph. 2. Guide car into support. Support should not buckle nor should the bridge collapse when struck by such a light object at such a low rate of speed.
Status:	REJECTED
Developer's Note:	In a real-world scenario, users would not deviate from the approved workflow by crossing the yellow line that demarcates the edge of the roadway. Also note that posted speed limits are 60 mph, so users would not exceed this posted limit.
Project Manager's Note:	Rejection approved. Add to construction notes document.

Thank goodness we keep these madmen in ill-lit cubicle cells where they can only harm information and not real people.

Ahhhhh...... Information-systems-industry-venom sacs emptied.....
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:22 PM   0 comments

 
Compare and Contrast

In New York, compare and contrast:

• Giuliani time, with the Broken Windows theory of policing, wherein police crackdown on nuisance offenses to improve the quality of life.
  
  
• Bloomberg time, which apparently features the Flat Broken theory of policing, wherein police write tickets for as many offenses as they can to help the city can balance its finances as taxpayers flee for less strident regimes.

- posted by Brian J. @ 7:57 PM   0 comments

 
Book Review: The Fine Art of Swindling edited by Walter B. Gibson (1966)

The more things change, the more they stay the same, and that goes for stupid is as stupid does and a fool and his or her money are soon parted. This book collects a number of essays and nonfiction pieces that appeared in The New Yorker, The Saturday Evening Post, and other periodicals or publications. Each essay explores a scammer or a scam in detail, but most of the scams come from around the turn of the century (as the book itself is almost forty years old).

Two things strike me:

• The heights that the best scammers reached.
  Charles Ponzi, whose very name is synonomous with the pyramid scheme, bought a bank and a brokerage firm with the money he made from working class Bostonians who wanted to earn fifty percent interest in 90 days. Oscar Hartzell lived for over a decade in style in London while purportedly seeking to settle with the English monarchy for the Francis Drake estate--but really he was just after his "investors'" money. That's long jack, my friends. Nowadays, nobody lives that high on the hog with so little production but venture capitalists, their pet executives, and government officials. At least swindlers used their wits and not their contacts.
  
  
• The same scams are still running.
  Three specific examples: The Nigerian scam (help me transfer my ill-gotten gain from my African country); the here's-a-bag-of-money-you-can-hold-it-if-you-give-me-slightly-less-of-your-money-as-a-deposit (which really needs a popular nickname), and the pyramid scheme (now more popular than ever as women's "Gift Clubs"). The population is getting more technologically knowledgeable, but not necessarily more savvy.

Of course, the best swindles aren't in this book, because the best swindles are not reported or solved. Still, the book's an interesting read, but not widely available. I paid $6.00 for this copy....wait a minute...the penciled-in price claims it's a 1966 first edition, but it looks like a book club edition....

Fine art of swindling, indeed. Curse you, Sheldon! Next time I am in your book shop, I am pulling the books out by putting my fingers at the top of the spine.
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:44 PM   0 comments

 
Two Kinds of Managers

There are two kinds of managers. Those who help pull the load, and those who spend all their time pulling on the horses.
- posted by Brian J. @ 4:46 PM   0 comments

 
I Feel Pretty, Powerful

Meatriarchy leads me to some introspection, wherein I discover I am:


Which Typical Anti-Hero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:09 PM   0 comments

 
Reaching the Outer Limits of Property Rights

Drudge linked to a story (registration required) in the New York Times about how radio broadcasters are exploring a new system, called Radio Data System, wherein the radio stations can push text advertising onto your car dashboards (or other radios, I would guess). Some critics assail the possibility of drivers becoming distracted from their driving, but I'm not so worried about that. I realize most drivers aren't paying attention to their driving anyway, and that the text advertisements might only distract drivers from their phone conversations, newspapers, breakfast, or make-up application.

Instead, I am worried more about property rights slowly but continually eroding, almost invisibly. Because, citizens, when it comes to who holds broadcast or reception rights to your personal property, the answer always seems to be not you.

It used to be that if you bought something and it became your property, you had rights to use it and dispose of it as you saw fit. No one else had rights to use it without your permission, else it would be stolen (or borrowed by your irresponsible sibling, but that's something else). The Constitution even addresses a particular instance of government appropriation, quartering, in the Bill of Rights. You owned something, you could use it as you saw fit, and unless you were doing something illegal, no one could stop you.

Technology changes things. With radio, you bought a device that allowed you to receive information broadcast by another person or a corporation. So you had a personal device through which you could opt to listen to a broadcast, and you could choose among available broadcasts that you wanted to receive. The act of owning a radio and receiving a broadcast require an explicit owner action. Granted, the user had no control over the content, but the user had the control over the reception thereof. The radio broadcaster could not force the user to listen.

The telephone represents a two-way communications device that most people possess as personal property. The telephone allows you to either receive a transmission (a phone call), or it allows you to create a transmission (pick up and dial out). In either case, the owner must explicitly use the device to broadcast. The owner retains the right of transmission through his personal property.

The right of transmission, as I have so eloquently labeled it, should be a fundamental corollary of basic property rights. That once I own a device, I and I alone determine how to use it and when to use it. As technology outpaces understanding and forethought, we're in great danger that this right is being ceded de facto to corporations whose products send and receive data without explicit owner consent--often without owner knowledge.

I see this end-run around the right of transmission in any number of instances, including existing and projected technologies. RFID tags that continue broadcasting their signal after purchase, not for the benefit of the owner but instead for the benefit of the manufacturer, retailler, or their bestest, closet "business partners." Silver boxes beneath your car seat that record what you're doing so that the manufacturer can point its finger at you, not the automobile, if an accident occurs. Of course, the worst offender is computer software.

New Internet-connected software often, without explicit user consent--phones home to rewrite "patch" itself or to "improve the customer experience"--by transmitting information about you and your computer to, once again, the manufacturer and its closest friends. The user's experience improves in that he or she only sees the targetted marketing and reminders to upgrade that the manufacturer thinks the user wants to see, which is probably better than all possible marketing the manufacturer could send you. The software in some cases will contact its home without seeking consent to fix manufacturing defects--"consent" is granted through a single click at some time in the past or a nebulous and unreadable license agreement. Because of its current Wizard-of-Oz nature, the software industry gets away with this because its magic takes place behind the curtain, its functionality apparently wizardry when it works.

But I digress from my thesis with the expenditure from my information-systems-industry-venom sacs. Unlike automobile manufacturers who issue recalls that require a user's specific action to take the auto into the dealership for repair or upgrade, some software manufacturers insist they'll fix it automatically. A person who purchases a house would recognize his or her rights have been violated if he or she came home from work to find the house has had its deck removed and has been painted eggshell blue by the previous owners--however, some software companies reserve the right to refactor and rewrite--that is, replace--private property of its customers. The more they condition customers to accept this as normal, the less customers will recognize the nature of their property rights.

I admit that the article linked above only provided a jumping-off point for thought regarding this matter. I have trouble imagining people will rush out to buy radios that provide an extra benefit for broadcasters and nothing for the consumer. However, these companies do see it as their right to push marketing and to take other liberties with your personal property, and we as consumers and as citizens must stop clicking Yes, signing unread or undisputed contracts, and accepting quietly this usurping of our property rights.
- posted by Brian J. @ 1:44 PM   0 comments

 
Holidays Are Over

Put the fruitcake back in the freezer and dig into the cheesecake.
- posted by Brian J. @ 11:27 AM   0 comments

 
Suburban Knees Jerk

Memorandum to a neighbor:

Dear sir, and undoubtedly you are a sir and not a ma'am, I understand that the weather was nice in Casinoport, Missouri today, with a temperature reaching seventy-one degrees FARENHEIT, but what on earth prompted you to go to your shed or garage, get out, and start your lawn mower on the second of January?

Pray tell, how much shorter did you want your brown lawn to be?
- posted by Brian J. @ 4:12 PM   0 comments

 
Step Five: Classified

Fark led me to a set of helpful tips about how to handle giving your old computer to someone else. Here's a summary of what Kim Komando, noted radio computer "expert," suggests as steps or protocols for what you can do to safeguard personal information you might have on the P.C.:

1. Don't want a big hassle? Give the computer to a trusted employee, friend or family member.
   
   
2. Reformat the hard drive and re-install the operating system.
   
   
3. Buy software and overwrite the disk, again and again and again.
   
   
4. You're totally paranoid, so get out the acetylene torch.

That's it, Komando? That's all you have? What about step 5?

If you don't know what Protocol 5 is, you're not totally paranoid.

I guess not everyone can afford an atom-smasher in the basement.
- posted by Brian J. @ 8:02 PM   0 comments

 
When Frilly Meets Football

As I was reading the Febuary 2004 issue of St. Louis Homes and Lifestyles on the cycle at the gym (and I must have picked it up on the cycle, because for what sort of Man reads such a fru-fru magazine--hey, look, the person who left it here has the same name and address as I), I came across the article entitled "Running for Daylight: A light-filled domicile is where Rams' head coach Mike Martz and wife Julie touch down". As you all know, I don't care for the St. Louis Lambs--I mean, come on, any football team with less than fifty years' tradition in their city is a bunch of tax-sucking mercs. However, I like to look at the pretty pictures of rich peoples' homes had nothing better to do for 20 minutes of intense cardiovascular working. I mean, aside from looking at the scantily-clad, physically-fit women as they sweat, but once you've seen the best, everything else is just furniture.

The text, amid the pictures, included this cute little nugget written by Carla Patton (whose name I included so the next time she Googles herself, she'll read my blog):

The Martzes arrived here with the Rams from L.A. in 1995; Mike was then the wide receivers coach. With the exception of a two-year stint in the northwest with the Washington Redskins, they have lived here ever since.

You remember those two years, don't you, when the Redskins played the Seahawks sixteen times?

(Note to Carla: The Washington Redskins are the Washington D.C. Redskins.)
- posted by Brian J. @ 7:47 PM   0 comments